A/N: Written one afternoon when my sister and I decided to put on Pouncival and Tumblebrutus's makeup and prance around the house while watching Cats. This was the craziness that ensued.

Disclaimer: Don't own Cats or characters. If I did I most likely wouldn't have written this.

To Become Tugger

By Jellicle Luv

Concept by Secret Alonzo & Jellicle Luv

8:30 a.m.: Pouncival's Den

Pouncival laid spread eagle across his old pillow, staring blankly at the ceiling of the TSE 1, his eyes going in and out of focus. Tumblebrutus sat next to him, cross-legged and flipping through a three year old issue of Vogue looking at the pictures. All around them was silence, broken only by the scattered giggles of young queens playing tag outside of the car. Pouncival sighed, flipped over, and stared hard at Tumblebrutus. He didn't want to ask this question; in fact, he never wanted to ask it. It was a question of evil, a question of disgrace, a question of the utmost sin that would one day lead to his ultimate destruction.

"Sooo… what do you want to do?"

Tumblebrutus said nothing, shrugging and flipping a page. Pouncival sighed again and tried a new approach.

"Do you want to play tag?"

Shrug.

"Do you want to play hide-and-seek?"

Shrug.

"Do you want to go tackle random queens and run away laughing triumphantly?"

Shrug.

"Then what can we do? I'm so BORED!" Pouncival covered his eyes and groaned, banging his head forward onto the car seat and remaining motionless.

"Want to become Tugger?"

"What?" Pouncival said, looking up at Tumblebrutus. Tumblebrutus rolled his eyes and closed his magazine.

"I said, 'want to become Tugger'."

"I don't get it," Pouncival said, looking dumbly at his friend.

"Well, we really have nothing else to do. And at the Jellicle Ball last night he totally had all the queens all over him. Look at this picture," he said, opening the magazine again and throwing it at Pouncival. Pouncival stared at the picture, an ad for cologne that showed a shirtless man wearing a very Tugger-esque smirk surrounded by human queens. Pouncival's eyes widened, and then narrowed as he got the evil genius laugh.

"Yes… yeeeessss… I have a brilliant idea, Tumble! Let's become Tugger!"

"Hey…" Tumblebrutus said, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. Then his face lit up as he punched a paw in the air. "Yeah! Let's become Tugger! What a perfect idea, Pounce!"

"I know," Pouncival said, leaping off his pillow. "I always get perfect ideas. It's because I'm older."

"By two days," Tumblebrutus protested.

"Yeah, but the point is I'm still older. Come on, we have a lot of planning to do and not a lot of time to do it," Pouncival said, leaping out of the car window. Tumblebrutus nodded, jumping after his buddy.

9:00 a.m.: Tumblebrutus's Den

"Kits, stop it!" Jellylorum said, opening the flap that served as Tumblebrutus's bedroom door with her ears covered. Pouncival and Tumblebrutus had stolen an old, cracked slate from Jennyanydots (one that she used to teach the mice musical notes) and were currently scratching on it due to a shortage of chalk.

"Duckie, your father is trying to get some rest," she said to Tumblebrutus. "Please, if you must make such a noise do it elsewhere, alright?"

"Sorry Jelly," Pouncival apologized. "We'll keep it down."

Jellylorum smiled kindly at the two young toms before lowering the flap. Pouncival was smirking and turned to Tumblebrutus, who was sitting on his bed (a pile of old rags) and blushing furiously underneath his fur.

"Duckie?"

"Shove off!" Tumblebrutus hissed, turning to look at the blackboard. It didn't matter that they weren't allowed to scratch it anymore seeing as they were already done. To any human who might happen to glance at the writing it would look like a bunch of random scratches and dents, but to Pouncival and Tumblebrutus it was the perfectly formulated plan.

Pouncival resumed his Army General stance, broken ruler in paw, in front of the blackboard. The writing on it read as follows:

The 3 Essentials of The Tugger

- The Hair

- The Talk

- His Way With the Queens

"So," he said, smacking the ruler against the slate. "This is the plan, aptly named 'The Plan'. To complete these three tasks we must do things no other tom has before done, go places no other toms dare to venture, and step on territory unfamiliar to toms. Got it?"

"Aye, aye, Captain Pounce," Tumblebrutus said, standing and saluting Pouncival from his rags.

From outside of the old wood burning stove that served as Tumblebrutus's family den came the screeches and giggles of the youngest queens. To anyone with half a brain, this obviously meant that Tugger was nearby. Pouncival stared at Tumblebrutus's bedroom door for a moment, his left eye twitching, before looking back at his friend.

"Right, as of now, The Plan is in effect," Pouncival said, smacking the ruler down into his left paw. "Ow."

10:00 a.m.: Pouncival's Den (Again)

"So, er, tell me again exactly why we're asking Etcetera this?" Tumblebrutus asked, anxiously twisting his tail in his paws.

Pouncival rolled his eyes. "Because, we need to go where no tom has gone before," he said, peering over the car window to look for his sister. "And that means giving in to the ultimate evil."

Both toms went quiet, and it was only a short while before Etcetera came running around a pile of junk to hide behind one of the tires of the car. Pouncival leaned his head out of the window, looking directly over where Etcetera was crouching in her game of hide-and-seek.

"Psst, Ettcy," Pouncival whispered.

Etcetera gave a shriek, looking up at Pouncival. "Pounce! You scared me!"

"Hey, mum said she needs your help for a minute," Pouncival lied. "She's trying to untangle some yarn."

"But I'm playing hide-and-seek with Jemima and Electra," Etcetera pouted, glancing around to make sure that Jemima wasn't already finished counting.

"I'm sure they'll understand. C'mon, mum says if you don't there'll be no kitty treats for you after supper tonight." Pouncival had to duck his head down to hide his snickering from his sister. Tumblebrutus glared at him.

"What?" Pouncival asked.

"You shouldn't lie to her," Tumblebrutus said.

"Well… she'll forgive me once she finds out what's really going on."

"No kitty treats?" Etcetera sounded scandalized, and so she leaped onto a nearby pile of rubbish, then onto an old lawn chair, and finally made her way up and into the open window.

"Pounce!" Etcetera said, after she clambered through the window and saw only Pouncival and Tumblebrutus. "Mum's not even here! I'm going to tell her that you're lying again!"

"Stop your yammering," Pouncival said. "We have a favor to ask you."

Etcetera raised her right eyebrow, looking suspiciously between the two toms. "What?" she said cautiously.

Pouncival looked at Tumblebrutus before speaking. "We need you to give us makeovers."

All three kittens were silent for a moment, the wind rattling the loose parts of the car. Pouncival just looked at Etcetera, his blank stare awaiting her answer, while Tumblebrutus looked around at everything and everyone except Etcetera. Etcetera blinked, then shrieked, then pulled both of the toms into a neck-crushing hug.

"Oh, I never thought either of you'd ask me something like this, especially you, Pounce!"

"E-Ettcy…" Pouncival stammered.

"And now you want me to make you pretty and cute and huggable, like me!"

"Ettcy…" Pouncival tried once again, this time gasping for air.

"And then I'll show you to the other queens and we can all have tea parties and play with our toy mice and—"

"ETCETERA!" Tumblebrutus screamed, breaking himself out of her death grip. "We do not want to be pretty. We do not want to have tea parties. And we do not want to play with toy mice. We are toms. Toms do not play with toy mice."

"But Pounce still plays with his toy mouse sometimes at night after dinner. He keeps it under his pillow and—"

"Okay Etcetera, your time for talking has ended," Pouncival laughed nervously, placing a paw over his sister's mouth while Tumblebrutus gave a snort.

"Look, Ettcy, we just need you to make us look a little different. I think the word is handsome, or sexy, or something like that," Pouncival said, too focused to find the right use of vocabulary.

"Hmm, well, I guess I could trim up your fur a bit," Etcetera said, circling the toms and examining their physical appearance. "And smooth out your rough paw pads, and add a little color to your tail tips and ear fluffs, and…" Tumblebrutus seemed a bit self-conscious during this assessment, shifting his weight from side to side, but Pouncival looked completely calm.

"Whatever Ettcy, just make us look like Tugger," Pouncival said impatiently. Etcetera looked at him for a moment as if he had lost it, but then she doubled over with laughter.

"You two, look like Tugger? You must be joking!" she giggled. But when she saw the look on the tom's faces she sobered up. "Everlasting Cat, you're serious? Well then, I guess I could try…"

"Excellent," Pouncival said, bounding off to the glove compartment that served as his sister's room. "Do me first!"

Etcetera started to follow him, but looked back at Tumblebrutus.

"Aren't you coming?" she asked him sweetly.

"Er… actually, I, ah… I forgot to do something at home. Tell Pouncival to come get me when you're finished with him." Tumblebrutus said before bounding out of the open window. Etcetera just shook her head and rolled her eyes, muttering something about toms and their strange ways.

Noon: Tumblebrutus's Den (Again)

"I can't believe you!" Pouncival shouted, throwing a deflated bouncy ball at Tumblebrutus's head. Tumblebrutus simply leaned to his right, the ball whizzing just past his left ear.

"Now see here, Pounce, I didn't trust Etcetera as soon as she started on the whole tea party thing, it's your own fault."

"And you didn't warn me?"

"Would you have listened?"

"Yes! I would have… ah, er… no, probably not."

"Exactly." Tumblebrutus sat calmly on his rags, running a paw through his newly cropped fur.

"But you left me to have my looks butchered by my baby sister!" Pouncival said, plopping down on the old carpet with a look of defeat. "And now I look like a prune that's been left in a coffee can full of old grounds and flour for a month."

"Now that's just ridiculous," Tumblebrutus said, crossing his arms. "How do you know what a prune that's been left in a coffee can full old grounds and flour for a month looks like?"

If looks could kill, Tumblebrutus would have been a pile of ash. Indeed, Pouncival didn't look like a prune that had been left in a coffee can full of old grounds and flour for a month, but he was pretty close. His previously light brown and white fur was now cut so short in a few places he looked like he had bald patches. Etcetera had decided he needed more color on him, so she had taken some bleach and mixed it with purple poster paint, which she had then used to color parts of Pouncival's ears, tail, and head. Etcetera had also taken some of her mother's rouge powder and made Pouncival's lips and cheeks red, which he had tried to furiously rub off. As a result he now had light pink lips and cheeks, and to top it all off Etcetera had tied a pretty green ribbon around his neck.

The ribbon now lay in tatters on Tumblebrutus's floor.

"But you left me to the wrath of Etcetera and decided that your mum would do better! Why couldn't you have told me before?" Pouncival whined, covering his eyes in despair and falling backwards.

"Well, you were really set on Etcetera, and I didn't want to throw off your groove…" Tumblebrutus trailed off. True, he had abandoned Pouncival, but he hadn't expected to look the way he did once Jellylorum had finished with him.

He too had his fur trimmed, but it was all even and still long enough to brush back. Jellylorum had acquired some bleach from Jennyanydots a few weeks ago, and after mixing it with old coffee grounds she had subtly highlighted a few of the young tom's brown patches to add dimension to his coat. By doing this she managed to bring out Tumblebrutus's eyes, which had often gotten lost in the brown spots on his face, and made his overall appearance brighten up. Jellylorum was a firm believer in the saying "a little bit goes a long way," and by keeping it simple Tumblebrutus was now a very attractive young tom indeed.

A groan of misery surfaced out of Pouncival, who was now banging his head on the floor of the stove in the attempt to rid himself of this anguish. Jellylorum lifted the flap again to tell the toms to keep it down.

"Kits—argh! Pouncival! Is that… Pouncival?"

"Uh, sorry mum. We'll try to keep it down," Tumblebrutus said, hurrying over to his mum and whispering something to her before lowering his flap. He stooped over Pouncival and gave him a little kick. "Pounce! Pull yourself together, mate, we've got a plan to uphold!"

Nothing but a groan came from Pouncival.

"We've still got to 'go places no other toms dare to venture, and step on territory unfamiliar to toms,' remember?"

Groan.

"Who's hungry?" Jellylorum said, tugging a tray of mouse cakes into the room. Tumblebrutus eagerly snatched up two cakes, one in each paw, and took alternating bites from each one. Pouncival simply lay on the ground, his paws still over his eyes, trying to knock himself out. Jellylorum carefully placed the tray next to Tumblebrutus before taking a seat next to Pouncival.

"Pouncival, dear, Duckie said that you were in a spot of trouble, eh? Well, maybe I can help out a bit…"

1:00 p.m.: Still at Tumblebrutus's Den

"Listen up, troops," Pouncival said, ruler in hand once again, marching authoritatively in front of the slate. "The Plan is officially set back into motion!"

Tumblebrutus and Jellylorum both gave a cheer from the rag pile.

Being the clever queen that she was, Jellylorum had devised two new concoctions of bleach (one mixed with coffee grounds, the other mixed with water) and used them to cover the purple blotches on Pouncival's fur and the two pink spots on his cheeks accordingly. There was really nothing she could do about the nearly bald patches or his pink lips, so she had used the remainder of her bleach mixes to highlight parts of both his white and brown fur. This seemed to give the effect that he had a somewhat even coat, and after a while he'd be able to trim it all out.

Even though Pouncival wasn't a makeover success, he at least wasn't a makeover failure, and to thank Jellylorum for her generosity he and Tumblebrutus had let her in on The Plan. Jellylorum wasn't exactly a critical part of The Plan, but she was taking great delight in the kits' endeavors.

Extracting a claw, Pouncival scratched off the first line of the plan. Both Jellylorum and Tumblebrutus groaned, covered their ears, and closed their eyes. When they opened them, the board read as follows:

The 3 Essentials of The Tugger

- The Talk

- His Way With the Queens

"Now, our next goal is to tackle The Tugger's way of smooth talking," Pouncival said, pacing in front of the slate. "He always gets what he wants out of anyone, just by saying a few words."

"And he's good with comebacks," Tumblebrutus pointed out.

"And he's always scoring with the queens," Pouncival stated.

"Pouncival!" Jellylorum exclaimed.

"What?" Pouncival looked confused. "I don't even know what it means; I just overheard Admetus and Plato talking the other day."

"I'll have to have a word with those two then," Jellylorum muttered.

"Jelly…" came Asparagus's voice, calling from the next room.

"Coming, darling," Jellylorum called out. "Excuse me kits, I've got to go check on Gus. Duckie, if you or Pouncival get hungry don't hesitate to find me. Growing toms need their strength, you know."

"'Kay mum," Tumblebrutus said off-handedly, his eyebrows furrowed as Jellylorum left.

"You look constipated," Pouncival said to Tumblebrutus.

"I'm not constipated, I'm thinking," Tumblebrutus corrected him.

"There's a difference?"

"Of course there is, but I'm not going to waste my time explaining the difference between the thought process and the bowel movement process to you."

"Good, 'cause I don't want to hear it," Pouncival said, staring hard at the blackboard and rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "What we need is someone to practice our smooth talk on."

"Someone who's not smart enough to catch onto The Plan," Tumblebrutus said.

"Or walk away," Pouncival added.

"Or tell on us."

"Or smack us."

"Or blow us off as silly kittens and try to teach us how to crochet," Tumblebrutus said angrily. Pouncival glared at him, his left eye twitching a bit. "Er, sorry, I know she's your mum and all Pounce, I just hate it how she's always—"

"Stop talking. I understand completely," Pouncival said with a shudder. "Right, so we need someone who's not smart enough to catch on, won't walk away, won't tell on us, won't smack us, and won't try to teach us a new skill against our will."

"Right," Tumblebrutus agreed. "Now the only thing we have to do is find someone that fits all the requirements…"

2:00 p.m.: A Clearing in the Junkyard

"How about Cassandra?" Pouncival offered, pointing down from his perch of piled tires at the Siamese queen.

"Nah, she's too snobby. She'd probably smack us," Tumblebrutus said. He was sitting next to Pouncival, who was now batting at a fly out of boredom. "What about Coricopat or Tantomile?" he suggested, looking across the clearing to the snoozing twins.

"Nope, they'd chase us away," Pouncival said.

"Right," Tumblebrutus agreed.

"Hey, how about Demeter?" Pouncival said, pointing down to the black and gold queen that was quietly talking with Munkustrap.

"No way, Pounce," Tumblebrutus said. Pouncival finally caught the fly and stuffed it in his mouth. He swallowed and gave a little belch. Tumblebrutus wore an expression of disgust but went on anyway. "She'd smack us and then chase us away thinking we were Macavity."

"Point taken," Pouncival said. Now that the fly was gone there was nothing else to distract Pouncival, and he was now getting his mind back on track. However, no cat seemed to be the perfect target, and he was going to suggest that they give up their plan and play a new game if someone didn't come along soon.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Tumblebrutus caught sight of Alonzo hauling a large bag of kitty treats into the cupboard that served as the tom's den. Tumblebrutus squinted into the sun and glanced around at Pouncival, who was now holding his tail under his nose like a mustache and mimicking Old Deuteronomy.

"Pounce, how about we try smooth talking Alonzo out of his kitty treats?" Tumblebrutus suggested. It took Pouncival a moment to snap out of his playacting mode.

"What? Come on, Tumble, Alonzo is not that dumb," Pouncival said.

Both toms went quiet, each silently staring at random cats milling about, before Pouncival leaped up and almost overturned their pile of tires.

"I know! Let's go smooth talk Alonzo out of his kitty treats!"

"Hey…" Tumblebrutus said, raising an eyebrow, "that's a great idea! How come you always come up with all the good ideas?"

"Because I'm older," Pouncival stated, jumping off the tires. "C'mon, let's go before he leaves again."

2:30 p.m.: Alonzo's Den

Alonzo was trying to squeeze all of his kitty treats into the only storage place in his den when there was a knock on his off-center door. He managed to hide the last few before calling, "Come in Cass, it's open!" He wiped a line a sweat off his forehead before Cassandra entered. He was glad that he was able to hide her birthday treats before she came in, so he was very surprised when the owner of the knock happened to be half a foot shorter than his mate, a kitten, and the wrong gender.

"First of all, I'm not Cassandra," Pouncival said. "That'd be gross. Second of all, I'm here because I have something to talk to you about."

Alonzo raised an eyebrow, very suspicious of this young kit. He had personally never really had a good, long talk with Pouncival before, and he had heard that wherever Pounce went trouble followed.

"Okay," Alonzo said slowly. "What's on your mind, kit?"

"Well, my comrade Tumblebrutus- you do know Tumble, don't you? Good- and I were lounging about the junkyard and we couldn't help but notice that you had a surplus of kitty treats on their way to your den," Pouncival said, casually leaning against the open cupboard door as he talked.

"Er… yes, that would be correct," Alonzo said, now standing protectively in front of his hiding spot.

"And being the intellectual kit that I am, I couldn't help but notice that there were more kitty treats than one tom alone could eat, not matter how fat he might be," Pouncival said without a thought, now taking a few steps into the cupboard and lazily picking up trinkets to examine them.

Alonzo looked taken aback; after all, he was one of the leanest toms in the junkyard… wasn't he? He quickly stole a glance in the hand mirror next to his and Cassandra's bed before answering Pouncival.

"Well, maybe there were, but—"

"And then I thought, 'Gee, if Alonzo had an excess amount of kitty treats, it would only be the neighborly, compassionate thing for him to give some to actually kitties'," Pouncival continued, dropping a glass Christmas ornament and breaking it. Alonzo closed his eyes and sighed, fetching the broom from behind the mirror.

"Sorry," Pouncival added.

"I would Pouncival, but they're actually for Cassandra's birthday tomorrow," Alonzo said with a grimace, realizing that he probably shouldn't have said anything. "You won't, um, tell her, will you? They're sort of a surprise."

"I wouldn't dare dream of it, my dear fellow," Pouncival said. Alonzo breathed a sigh of relief, sweeping the glass shards out the door and to the side of his den.

"Yet, isn't there more than plenty for the two of you?" Pouncival added.

Alonzo's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Possibly, but I wanted to get enough to be sure…"

"Come on Alonzo, ole buddy, ole pal," Pouncival egged on. "You wouldn't deny a little kit a few treats now, would you? Especially if he's hungry."

"Well, I expect your mother is fixing up supper at your den right about now," Alonzo said, returning the broom to its place.

"Maybe," Pouncival said. "And maybe not."

"What do you mean 'maybe not'?" Alonzo asked, looking at the young tom with a questioning expression.

"Well, you know, there are some nights when mum just isn't in the mood for cooking, and since dad's always out working on the Midnight Rail he's never home to make supper for us," Pouncival sighed. He was now sitting cross-legged on the blankets that served as Alonzo and Cassandra's bed.

"Surely your brother and sister visit and care for you and Etcetera sometimes?" Alonzo asked. He wasn't buying this kit's story at all, but he thought that he might as well play along.

"Yeah, well, you know how the mated life is. Since Victoria's got mated to Plato she just hasn't been around as much, and Admetus barely visits now that he's got a den of his own," Pouncival sighed again. Sure, he wasn't really smooth talking the tom into giving him kitty treats, but he was definitely getting somewhere.

Or so he thought.

"Right… look Pounce, I'm not going to give you kitty treats because A, you're lying to me. B, you're trying to be sneaky. And C, you called me fat." Alonzo's voice faltered a bit on his last sentence, but he regained his composure quickly.

"I'm not lying!" Pouncival exclaimed, leaping off the bed and standing directly in front of Alonzo.

"Oh please, your mum is Jennyanydots. The day she doesn't feed her kits and everybody else's is the day the Everlasting Cat comes back to the reclaim the earth."

"Well… darn, you're right," Pouncival said, glaring at Alonzo. "But I'm not trying to be sneaky."

"What do you call lying?"

"I call it… gah! Why do adults always gotta be right?" Pouncival said. "Fine, don't give me any of your nasty kitty treats. I didn't want them anyway! They're probably old and stale and taste like chalk," Pouncival said as he marched off towards the cupboard door.

Alonzo rolled his eyes and muttered, "Kittens."

"And you are fat!" Pouncival screamed from the doorway. Alonzo glared daggers at him and picked up a metal dish to throw at the young tom, but Pouncival was quick and ran off cackling madly before the plate could even make it to the door.

3:00 p.m.: A Clearing in the Junkyard (Again)

"So, how'd it go with Alonzo?" Tumblebrutus asked.

"Ah, it was alright," Pouncival shrugged. They had decided that after Pouncival had canoodled Alonzo out of his kitty treats that they'd meet up on the stack of tires again before Tumblebrutus gave it a try.

"He only gave me a few, but I got hungry on the way here and ate them," Pouncival lied.

"Gee, that's funny, because I was up here the whole time and when I saw you leaving his house you were empty-handed and running like a queen."

"How dare you!" Pouncival hissed. "I do not run like a queen!"

"If you say so," Tumblebrutus said, shrugging his right shoulder and picking more dirt off his tail.

"You know what," Pouncival said, "I think you should go and try to smooth talk Alonzo now."

"Why?" Tumblebrutus asked. "It didn't work with you, so why would it work with me?"

"Hey, are you a tom or a mouse?"

"Well, the last time I checked I was a tom…"

"Just go!" Pouncival said, pushing him off the tires.

3:45 p.m.: Alonzo's Den (Again)

Alonzo opened his cupboard door only a crack to see who had knocked. He definitely did not want Pouncival to come back. He looked down and saw Tumblebrutus smiling up at him, so after a second he opened up the door and allowed the kit to walk in.

"Hi Alonzo. How goes you?" asked Tumblebrutus.

"Well, I'm okay," Alonzo lied. In truth, he was still a bit hurt after Pouncival's comment on his being fat. He was never the slimmest cat as a kitten, and it wasn't until a year before he had been mated with Cassandra that he had gotten lean.

"You're looking sharp today," Tumblebrutus said. "Have you been working out?"

Tumblebrutus had struck gold. This was exactly what Alonzo needed to hear.

"I've been trying," Alonzo said with a lopsided grin. "You're looking mighty fine yourself. New fur style, I see."

Tumblebrutus blushed under his fur again—he hated it when people commented on his looks. "Er, yeah. Listen Alonzo, I can't stay long, but I just wanted to come in and say hi since I really didn't get to talk with you much at the Ball last night. So… hi! And bye."

Tumblebrutus was halfway out the door when he heard Alonzo called to him.

"Wait! Here, take these," Alonzo hurried back to his hiding spot and fished out about ten kitty treats, handing them all to Tumblebrutus.

"Oh, I couldn't" Tumblebrutus said, trying to hand the treats back to Alonzo.

"No, I insist," Alonzo said, pushing them back. "I have more than I need, and you seem like you'd appreciate them more than that Pouncival would."

"Well, er, thanks I guess," Tumblebrutus said. "Wow, mum'll kill me if I bring all of these home. I suppose I could give them out to the other kittens."

"There you go," Alonzo said, grinning at the young kitten. "You'll be a very good asset to this tribe when you come of age, Tumble. You've got all your priorities straight."

"Er… thanks?" Tumblebrutus said once again. He walked away slowly from the cupboard, trying to find the best way to carry all of the kitty treats. He was met halfway back to the tire pile by Pouncival, who seemed to jump out of nowhere.

"What? How did you… why did he… What?" Pouncival stammered. "You were like, in and out!"

Tumblebrutus just shrugged. "C'mon, let's go back to my den really quickly." He handed a few of the treats to Pouncival, who mistook this gesture and ate the treats instead of carrying them. Tumblebrutus just rolled his eyes and kept walking. They were nearly back to the den when Tumblebrutus stopped.

"Pounce, what are 'priorities'?"

4:00 p.m.: Tumblebrutus's Den (For the Last Time)

"We're running out of time, soldier," Pouncival barked, ruler back in paw. Tumblebrutus nodded from his rags, munching slowly on one of the kitty treats. He still had seven left over, but he wasn't going to eat anymore.

"If we want The Plan to be put into action before sunset then we must move on with the last phase." Using his claw, Pouncival proceeded to scratch off the second line of The Plan, so that the slate was left with:

The 3 Essentials of The Tugger

- His Way With the Queens

"So, er," Tumblebrutus started, rubbing his left arm with his right paw in a very repetitive manner. "Does this mean that we have to, ah, find some queens and, you know, talk with them?"

"Not talking, private," Pouncival said, his eyes narrowed as though prepared for battle. His voice lowered now, a dramatic, deadly whisper. "Not talking. Flirting."

"NOOO!" Tumblebrutus screamed and fell over backwards off of his bed. "Not FLIRTING!"

"Pull yourself together, soldier!" Pouncival shouted, bounding over to his fallen comrade and setting him upright.

"I'm not sure I want to play this game anymore, Pounce," Tumblebrutus said, his voice shaky. Under his fur he was a shade of pale green.

"Don't you see, Tumble? This isn't a game anymore. No… it's war. War with the opposite sex. War with the world. War… with ourselves."

There was silence between the two for a long time. Neither spoke as both contemplated this thought. Surprisingly, it was Tumblebrutus who stood up. He looked as though he was trying to be brave, but his trembling betrayed him.

"Whenever you're ready, Captain Pounce," he saluted.

Pouncival stood and grinned, placing a paw reassuringly on his friend's shoulder. "You're a brave tom, soldier. But first… does your mum have anymore of those mouse cakes? I'm kind of hungry."

5:00 p.m.: A Clearing in the Junkyard (For the Last Time)

"Do it again, Victoria!" Etcetera clapped. The youngest of the queens were sitting in the clearing, each reenacting their different song and dance parts from the Jellicle Ball the night before. Electra and Jemima had taken great pleasure in reworking their own version of Macavity, and Etcetera had sent all the queens into furious giggles acting as her father in her reprise of Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat.

Rumpleteazer had been enjoying their fun only a few moments earlier, but she had decided to go off on a trouble-making spree with her brother. Victoria and Plato were also among the queens, and even though Plato was growing tired of their games he endured it for Victoria, who wasn't quite ready to leave her friends for extended periods of time.

"Come on, you lot, I'm tired," Victoria said, after having performed her solo ballet piece five times. The queens still persisted, though.

"It was so beautiful though," Jemima said.

"Yes, please do it one more time," Electra pleaded. Victoria looked at Plato, who simply shrugged, then prepared herself to do her routine once again. Lucky for her, Pouncival burst into their playgroup right on queue.

"Hello, ladies," he greeted them, licking his paw and slicking back his fur. "How are you all faring this fine summer's evening?"

Etcetera and Electra both burst into giggles while Jemima and Plato gave each other a look and simply smiled at him. Victoria grinned at him, only because she wouldn't have to do her dance piece again.

"Good evening, Pounce. My, don't you look… charming," she said, attempting to be nice. His uneven fur was, unfortunately, more apparent in the sunset due to the evening shadows, and this sent Electra and Etcetera into a fit of hysterical laughter, and even Jemima had to raise a paw to hide her chuckles.

"Why thank you, Victoria. Of course you look ravishing, as always. Tumble and I were just walking by when we—"

"You and who?" Plato interrupted snidely.

Pouncival looked at Plato as if he were slow. "Tumblebrutus and I," he repeated.

"Funny, I only see you standing there," Plato snickered. Pouncival turned and looked all around him. It was true; he was alone.

"Wonderful, now I look like an idiot," Pouncival muttered. He was about to excuse himself when he caught sight of a brown tail flickering behind a cardboard box. He rushed over and grabbed onto the tail, forcing it's occupant out into the open.

"Ouch!" Tumblebrutus yelped. "That seriously hurt, Pounce. Why couldn't you have grabbed my arm or… something…"

He had ceased talking because everyone had ceased laughing. Electra and Etcetera stared at Tumblebrutus with eyes full of wonder. Jemima smiled kindly (and shyly?) at him as Plato just looked surprised. Victoria, always the well-mannered of the bunch, approached him.

"Wow Tumble, don't you look handsome," she said with a wink. Tumblebrutus just looked at his feet.

"Thanks, Victoria. Uhm, I brought some kitty treats, if any of you are interested."

Everyone in the circle, including Pouncival, made a beeline for the kitty treats. Everyone, that is, except Jemima. She remained where she had been sitting, and after Tumblebrutus had managed to wrestle a treat out of Electra's grip and everyone was busy watching Victoria dance, he took it over to Jemima.

"I saved one for you," he simply said, holding the treat out to Jemima. "Can I sit here?"

Jemima, ever the shy one, nodded and accepted the treat with a small, "Thank you, Tumble."

"You were really pretty when you sang last night," Tumblebrutus said. He mentally smacked himself in the forehead. "I mean, you've always been really pretty, but your singing was pretty too. Gah, I mean, I though it was cool last night when—"

"I know what you mean," Jemima giggled. Electra and Etcetera were now reenacting The Rum Tum Tugger with Pouncival as the main man. He looked really, really pleased with himself… almost like the real thing.

"Demeter and Munkustrap must be proud," Tumblebrutus said.

"They are," Jemima agreed. "You looked really attractive doing your flips last night, but you always were. Why the change?"

"Well, I," Tumblebrutus started, but he never finished.

"AHHH!" screeched Etcetera, abandoning Pouncival for the real Tugger who had just appeared on the other side of the clearing. Electra followed suit, then Victoria. Jemima looked at Tumblebrutus, who just shrugged.

"If you want to go, that's okay," Tumblebrutus said. Jemima gave him a shy

smile before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said before bounding off after her friends. Tumblebrutus just stared with his mouth agape before putting a hand to his cheek. Pouncival sauntered over to his amigo with a very put-out look on his face, Plato in tow.

"How can they just do that?" he asked Plato angrily. "I mean, they're perfectly fine, and then they're just gone!"

"You'll get used to it," Plato said with a shrug.

Pouncival scoffed and rolled his eyes before turning to Tumblebrutus. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Tumblebrutus said, snapping out of his daze and looking at the two toms before him.

"That was a pretty fun game," Pouncival said. "Maybe we should try being Munkustrap tomorrow."

"Or Macavity," Tumblebrutus said.

"Or Coricopat and Tantomile," Pouncival offered.

"Nah, I don't want to have to be a girl," Tumblebrutus said.

"Who says you'd have to be the girl?" Pouncival asked.

"You always make me be the girl. Remember when we played Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer after last year's Ball?" Tumblebrutus pointed out.

"Oh yeah…"

"Whatever. I'm out of here, kits. See you in the morning," Plato said before waving farewell to the young toms. Pouncival took Jemima's seat next to Tumblebrutus. They both watched the queens fawn over Tugger across the way as the sun sank behind the trash mounds.

"Sooo… what do you want to do?" Pouncival asked for the second time today.

"I dunno. Fancy a game of tag?" Tumblebrutus recommended.

"What? No, I do not fancy a game of tag," Pouncival snapped. There were a few more moments of contemplative silence between the two friends before Pouncival leaped up.

"I know! Why don't we play tag?"

"Brilliant idea, Pounce!"

"I know, I've always got brilliant ideas. It's because I'm older."

And with that the two tom kittens ran off, chasing each other until the sun disappeared completely and it was time for their mothers to call them home for supper.

The End