Chapter 25
I was neither dead nor alive.
I never knew really knew if I was fading slowly or just unconscious.
I never knew how long I was stuck; it was quite different than the first time dying.
Even if someone were to use spirit, I didn't think the darkness would let go of me this tune.
"Rose you been kissed by shadows." Victor's voice came to taunt me, repeating the same words over and over again. "You've crossed over into death, into the other side, and returned. Don't you think that leaves a mark on the soul?"
Truthfully, I had no idea where I was.
I never really felt like I was awake, though I wasn't completely unconscious all the time.
To not knowing the difference between dreaming or awakening, I felt like I have been stuck inside my head for what felt like forever. It felt like it had been an eternity unable to open my eyes but with moments of what sounds to be shuffling beside me around me. I tried everything from talking to moving my fingers to talking hoping they would hear me some how.
Trying to move or communicating was next to impossible, every time was a failure.
I felt like a failure. Going though hell and back physically you would think I would be able to overcome this obstacle, I never asked for much but all I wanted was to see my family and friends. Wanting to wake up and leave this nightmare. Only eighteen I still had my whole life ahead of me, I wanted to give my son siblings. Watch my child have grand children who became guardian's or what ever they with as long as I was there to see it all.
The feeling of not being able to wake up was starting to take its toll on me, I felt like I was going I insane. Whenever I hear those footsteps or muffling of a voice trying it talk to me made, I couldn't grasp it fully why I just couldn't wake up. Just how bad were my injuries. Did I lose to much blood, was it this ahead injury or internal bleeding? I knew there was two paths ahead of me and I had to fight to see what way I was destined to go. Would the darkness take me for skipping death last time when Lissa cheated death, or would I get a chance to have a family with the man I loved.
When ever I was 'conscious' and no one was around me, I would get pictures of the last few moments before I was hit, reliving that moment in my head like a movie. A nightmare, I had hoped my baby made it alive that he was strong enough to pull through, to lose us both would crush Dimitri. When I saw the lights coming at me my instincts was to block him from the impact, as long as he was alright, I didn't mind dying if its to save someone I loved especially my family, Dimitri would always have something of me with him, our miracle.
Lately, I had truly begun to think that was I was finally going to meet my maker. There was always the possibility I wouldn't wake up and the nurses will decide to pull the plug before I could break through and make it out alive. The thought scared me to death, scared to not hold or meet my son the thought to not see or hold my friends family or Dimitri made me want to fight even harder.
Just after I had gotten hit by that vehicle, I really thought I had died; I must have grasped what ever life I had left in me worried for my son and everyone I loved. Last time I was in this situation only inside the vehicle Lissa brought me back to life, this time I managed to get stuck in darkness. Stuck in my own head instead of Lissa's. How ironic. Victors annoying voice taunted at me. Laughing at me for ending up where I started, at death's door.
Something told me my time was running out, I needed to focus on something a connection to get me on the outside world.
"Your were actually in deaths embrace, and some part of you will always remember that, always fight to cling to life and experience it all it has. That is why you're so reckless in the things you do. You do not hold back your feelings, your passion, you anger. It makes you remarkable. It makes you dangerous." Victor Dashkov's haunting voice echoed from the darkness of my own prison.
"The greatest and most powerful revolutions often start very quietly, hidden in darkness."
"Rose."
Eyes closed, I felt like I was floating in the darkness. The thick fog surrounded me. When I heard a voice, I felt like my mind was playing tricks on me again. Hearing my name being called over and over again I began to think maybe my hearing of the outside world was getting stronger, but this felt different. Using every ounce of energy, I had mustered I mumbled out a cry for help.
"Rose." The voice repeated, sounding a bit like Adrian. God you and I have our differences, but I am begging you right now that it is him calling my name. Who knew I crave his dream walking right now. Maybe he can help me wake.
"Rose… Rose…can you hear me?" a soft voice spoke. The voice muffled sound was definitely him, it had to be. God, please Rose wake up… we can't lose you; I can't lose you." Adrian's voice gotten louder.
"A…Adri…an, Adrian is that you." I called out to the thick fog. Hoping he could find me.
"Little Dhampir, where are you I can hear your voice." He replied back. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice; I have been trying to get to you for so long."
"A…Adrian." I guttered out hoping what I hear was not just my mind playing tricks on me again. "Adrian is that you, really you, where am I?"
Calling to me I could hear him get closer, around him he had a golden aura that kept the darkness at bay. He looked angelic even if his appearance was rough looking, he shined bright with a glowing light similar to the light that came off Dimitri when he reverted back from being a strigoi.
Moving closer, he grabbed me and held me tightly. Feeling him shutter I knew he broke down crying.
Holding him in a tight hug, I busted out into tears, to see a familiar face brought out so many emotions. Being stuck in darkness for so long without human contact. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you."
.
"Rose, my god Rose it is great seeing you. Thank god because I have been trying to dream walk with you for the last month with no luck." Adrian spoke looking relieved, the guy looked tired and dishevelled but his face lit up at the sight of me. "Still beautiful as always, even when darkness is literally surrounding you. On a serious note, up until now it was like a thick fog blocking me out of your mind."
"Don't forget goddess like, scorchingly sexy," I joked placing my hands on my hips. "What do you mean for the last month, what has been happening out there."
"You have no idea how much I missed you and your witty comments." Adrian chuckled against me.
"You know me in a life-or-death situation I got to go out with a bang somehow." I chuckled slightly, pulling away from him feeling the spirit around me. "Did he make it Adrian, did my baby make it?"
"Yes, he did with Lissa and I by his side with the best doctors the court offered he came out tall and healthy. He is beautiful his face your eyes."
Sighing with relief the weight off my mind made me feel relieved. "Thank god, what did Dimitri end up naming him? How is Dimitri and everyone else I miss them all so much."
"Well, I told Dimitri the name you had chosen awhile back and stuck with it, he felt if you truly didn't come back it was the last thing, they had of you," Adrian explained sadly.
"Thank you." I replied. So many thoughts were running through my mind, I had so much I needed to tell him. If this was the last time, I ever see him I needed him to know before it was too late.
"Look Adrian I don't know how much time I have left; you need to know things if I some how can't make it out alive. Please tell Dimitri that I love him and that I tried to come home to him and the baby. Tell him that if I don't make it that its alright to be sad but it is alright to heal and move on. Tell him that its alright for someone else comes into here lives and fix the broken pieces to make them whole. There will be times they may feel sad but let them know I am watching over them and will always love them as time passes."
"Adrian if he crashes after I go, please make sure my child is safe, please with the best of your ability to help him. Truthfully, I know I am asking for a lot, but I can't rest knowing he is going off the deep end. Awhile ago I had made a will with my father just after I found out I was pregnant. Entrusting you with Greyson if I should pass and Dimitri or my parents couldn't take him, it was supposed to be a precaution. After giving birth I had wanted to talk to you about it, but I guess now is better than ever, Adrian I wanted you to be the god father of Greyson, always being there when I need you, I knew I could trust you with my child." I explained.
"Oh, and would you make sure my baby knows I love him so much and wish I get to hold him, don't forget to tell him stories about his bad ass mother and to make me proud by living life to the fullest."
"You have no idea how honored I am, but you will make it; I am here now, and I will drag you with me if I have to, I will not leave you here any longer. Greyson and Dimitri need you; we all need you Little Dhampir. Lissa's a mess your parents are worried, ell even Christian looks like he is about to go into a mental breakdown." Adrian spoke. "I am honored but I prefer a world with you in it, being a mom and kick strigoi asses because life isn't the same without you."
"How do I get out of here Adrian; I have been trapped here for a month." I asked. "I don't want to die; I want my baby and family so much and the thought of never seeing you guys again scares me."
"Calm down little dhampir, I will do everything I can do to bring you back you have my word." He promised me, giving me a small smile.
"Why am I being blocked from the real world, could there be something blocking me in of so what would you think it would be?" I asked, with all of his researching with Lissa maybe he will have an idea.
"With what Lissa and I were working on be figured it has something to do with your inner mind. Physically your mind is injury free thanks to Lissa and I as well as hat with the doctors but psychological side has had so much trauma that with spirit darkness you got trapped in between the living and the spirit world."
Of course, I would trap myself here.
"So how do I un-trap myself? What is the chances of me getting out of here." I asked.
"Well, that depends, if I were Lissa it would have been a piece of cake. With me you will need to be patience and also know the flaw and your consent for what I am to do."
"What exactly is this flaw and consent for what exactly?" I questioned.
"Well, the flaw is there is a chance you won't be able to leave and everything I did is for nothing." Adrian shrugged," And I need your consent to enter your mind which means your memories, secrets, emotions, trauma what ever is the root to how you got trapped here. Which would mean I would know everything."
If there was another option, I would have token it to spare myself of being stripped down metaphorically by my ex I would, but this was the only option to get home.
"Fine we have a deal, get probing ET." I joked making him chuckle.
"Close your eyes." He spoke placing his hands on my temple lightly. Closing my eyes, I put my trust in Adrian's hands. Literally. Feeling the magic Adrian focuses on what ever he is trying, I felt the warmth of his hands placing me I not a trance. The trance felt like I was laying on a cloud back into another slumber only this time it was different, this time I felt like everything will be alright.
I opened my blurry eyes.
Gasping for air as I still had tube down my throat I began to panic. Who ever hit the emergency button must have called for the nurse.
"Rose, darling calm down you will be fine, relax." Mom softly speaks beside me. "Almost done."
Hearing her voice some how calmed me down a bit to know that it was someone familiar.
Moving out of the way my mother left the room to make some calls and let the nurses take over and assess me, the only thought was to get to my baby and Dimitri, I wanted to go home.
"You are a very lucky woman Ms. Hathaway, with your injuries and being in that coma we didn't expect for you to wake up so soon or at all." The nurse speaks checking over my vitals. "Your husband has been at your side the whole time, as well as your beautiful baby boy of yours."
Husband?
"You have such a great amount of support hat has passed through these doors the last month and a bit.
"My baby…" I stuttered out; voice raw from the lack of moisture. "My… my baby is …really alright?" I trusted Adrian but something in me wanted reassurance. "What day is it?"
"The day is January fifteenth, of course Ms. Hathaway, we believe a guardian angel protected you and your baby. He came out alive and kicking." the nurse giggled softly. "He really missed his Mama though, Mr. Belikov would lay him beside you when I check your vitals, boy did your presence put the baby sleep peacefully."
Smiling at the thought made me bubbly, thanking the nurse for letting me in on what is happening I wait for my mother to return. Few moments later she returns.
"Your father will he by tomorrow and Mr. Belikov will be here as soon as the baby is cleaned up." She speaks giving me her famous 'I am still your mother now answer me and you're not getting away from me this time look.'
"Now. Why don't you tell me when, how as well as explain to me how it was even possible unless it someone else's and he is filling the role. Why is Dimitri Belikov playing father with your child?"
Chucking nervously, I really wanted to run and hide. She was right I was stuck in this hospital bed; I was doomed to answering her questions.
"Well, you obviously know how," I grinned making her role her eyes at my attempt to joke. "I occurred around my birthday, the baby is his not someone else's so get the thought of me sleeping around out of your head, the reason is because I am shadow kissed." I explained sitting up a bit to get comfy. "When Lissa brought me back with spirit things have changed, we have a bond which comes with side effects and this is one of them."
"Earlier this year Tasha got Marcus to steal documents on the subject Tatiana had entrusted to the Alchemists, long ago there was records of two dhampirs producing so long as one is shadow kissed. My child is a full blooded dhampir."
"Look mom I know you and I don't get along, but I love him so don't even try to get in my way."
"Rose your eighteen years old, you still have a whole career ahead for you. are you positive you want to be a stay-at-home mom." Janine Hathaway, the know it all. 'Are you going to throw it all away before you even start."
"First of all, everything is all planned out miss know it all. You really think I will give my career up now, "I mocked, finally feeling amped up. "Our queen herself proposed me two options after my maternity leave is up." Guard Lissa like I originally planned and attend Lehigh and come back on weekends. Or take a once in a lifetime deal at court to be around my child more and become head guardian trainer who teaches classes to new and older guardians who want a breath of fresh air. As well as training guardian strike force units with Hans." Her faced went into shock. Probably thinking who knew I could do that in a short amount of time. Should have been around more.
"Don't get me started on Dimitri either, having almost died and has traveled across the world to fulfill a promise that I made him back when we met, why would I want to leave him now? After everything we have faced why would I ever give up the chance to have a family with the man I love. Why should I care what my absentee parents decide when my whole life they did not care. So, unless you do not want to be a grandmother to my child, I suggest you shut up, sit down and deal with it. For the love of god mom, I just woke up from a damn coma." That is when a baby's cry emerged. Snapping my head to the door stood Dimitri and our child in a carrier.
"Roza." Dimitri spoke, my heart fluttered, and I felt relieved.
"Sorry; I didn't mean to wake him." I whispered looking at his figure standing at the door.
"No, its alright, I should have knocked, but he need to meet his mother," He whispered, "Let me get him out and ill pass him to you."
"I should go right now; I will be meeting up with your father for dinner we will swing by to see you tomorrow after a night of rest." My mother spoke, getting up from her chair. Walking towards the door she stops beside Dimitri and looks at him. Looking to her she than says, "You and I are in for a long chat, don't you think. Take care of my child and grandchild until than."
"Got it, I will take anything you have coming my way, she's worth it." Dimitri spoke to her earnestly. The man was not breaking eye contact with my mother, dead set on his words. I believed him. "They are worth it."
"We will see who taps out first, you or her father," My mother smirks, giving him the evil eye. Making me snicker, the old man is going to get what is coming for him. "He is just in deep as you are Belikov you may find your self with a lesser punishment." Before walking out of the room, leaving me with Dimitri and our child.
"Sorry about that, she wasn't too happy about the news." I whispered.
"Don't worry about it Roza I meant what I said, you guys are worth it." Dimitri spoke as he unbuckled our child from the carrier. Handing him over to me I take our child in my arms for the first time. Looking at his innocent face I start to cry, the emotions when I look at him raked through my body.
"You alright," Dimitri asks concerned, sitting on the chair beside the bed. "If it is to much for you, I will come by another night until you feel better?"
Looking up to him I smiled a bit. "No, it alright, I will be alright Comrade." Then went back to stroking my child's beautiful face, I could not believe how beautiful he was. Looking at him it felt surreal. His beautiful brown eyes stared at me, which bright a smile to my face.
"Greyson Ivan Belikov." I mumbled. "You are truly the holder of my heart I would kill every strigoi to keep you safe. Being your mother is a blessing even after minutes of meeting for the first time."
"He is beautiful he looks like the both of us, he is tall like you." I teased, as a flash than went off, looking up I seen a guilty Dimitri.
"Sorry it was a beautiful sight; I couldn't not take a photo." Holding his phone guilty but still smirking." I want to remember it forever."
"Its alright Comrade you are just making memories." I chucked. "Your papa is a big softie isn't he my little one, don't you agree with your mama. "Making him smile, a small odd came out what id assume was his tiny laugh.
"Hey!" Dimitri scoffed, before pouting at us.
Making me laugh. "How has he been since my coma, has it been hard doing it alone."
"No Rose, our son has been nothing but perfect don't forget I have sisters I have had my fair share of diaper and sleepless nights. With your father's permission I have been staying in your home I wanted Greyson to have as many things as possible he had of you if you didn't return. With everyone's help, we set everything is set up and I've been staying in the guest room next to yours, I had locked your room, I didn't feel right leaving your personal space open."
"They house is just a house Comrade; you and our son is what I need the most. My loved ones are what I need to survive, as long as I have that I will always find my way back to you guys. Whether its Lissa's darkness, killing strigoi or taking down any threat you are my reason to fight."
"You are an angel Roza, you are truly so beautiful, it hurts sometimes." Dimitri, confesses. "Hurts yet addicting, an ache that never subsides. You my love are exotic in your own way I feel honored to have your love."
"Well of course Dimitri, you're the only man I have ever loved."
"Rose I've done a lot of bad things, most of which I can never fix or find redemption for. My one choice now, if I want to reclaim my life, is to go forward, the only thing I want is you and our miracle. Roza, I want us to one grow old and have a few children and live our lives together. My restoration your coma we have a chance to finally relax and not look over our shoulders to settle down and finally be a couple. I know you said you forgave me for what I did as a strigoi and I know in my own way I will always deal with it in my own way, but I wont live life without you. Roza I would do anything for you, even face your parents a hundred times for the approval to have you."
"Just a hundred is that all I'm worth.' I gasped teasingly.
"How ever long it would take as long as I can make it up to you. Everyday I want to wake up beside you and put our son to sleep to bed at night together and watch him grow. Teach him how to be a man and what it means to not fail on how to treat a woman like my father and I have done, id risk it all Roza for you guys." He vowed, which made me shiver at his words.
"I love you Rose Hathaway."
Nodding my head at him I tried not to cry. I wanted him to someday heal and realise that what he did never made me think less of him. Strigoi are soulless, with the knowledge of our past he knew how to hurt me which was something I expected when I went to Russia. I am in it for life, flaws and all.
"Comrade I am in it for life, laying here with you and our son I have no plan to leave you ever. What ever happened is in the past, I've made my peace and have no ill feelings towards you. What I can promise is to be by your side and help you ease that pain inside you feel for and live life to the fullest."
"I did it all because I love you to, Dimitri Belikov."
Before I could rest and truly set back into a semi normal life with our child, I wanted to know if the person was caught and locked up. "So, comrade did they catch the person who hit me. Was it Marcus? Did you guys get him?" Cradling my child closer I felt a bit panicked, especially if he was still out there.
Getting up from his chair he moves closer and sits at the edge of the bed facing me. "Calm down Roza, Marcus is locked up with heavy guardians as well as Tasha." Dimitri explained.
"He used the stolen SUV to hit you and attempt to leave court right after. Which he did. Your father and with the help of Guardian Hans and your mother they found him before you would awake. So, don't you worry they are both can not ever hurt you two ever again, lets change the subject." I felt relieved they were both caught.
"Thank god," I replied, but still had questions for now I will let it go but Abe needs to fill me in tomorrow. "So, this makes us a couple officially." I grinned teasingly. "Like boyfriend girlfriend."
"Yes, Roza we are a couple did you not just listen to me pour my heart out a moment ago." He teasingly acted offended.
A knock at the door broke our talk.
"Come in." I answered.
Opening the door Adrian peeked his head in. "Sorry lovebirds didn't realise it was bad it was bad timing."
"Its aright I need to take the kid home to change and get to sleep its late, I will stop by tomorrow to see you." Dimitri answered him, also letting me his plans for tomorrow.
Giving me a kiss on my forehead Dimitri picks our child up and strapped him back in the carrier. Giving him a kiss goodbye, he gives Adrian a nod he exits the room.
"Sorry to disturb I just needed to know you were alright, everyone said you were, but I had to see." Adrian spoke leaning back int to he chair with relief.
Walking forward he takes a seat Dimitri occupied a little while ago.
Here stared at me like he couldn't believe I was here awake.
"Thank god you alright Little Dhampir."
"I was worried to walk through these doors, and you wouldn't be here awake,"
"Your imagining things. Clearly my stunningly beauty has clouded your mind." I replied to Adrian.
"Well uncle Adrian, I am sure my child will always appreciate everything you have done for him, for me." Causing tears to run down my face. "You have restored his father than woke his mother from a coma, I knew I had chosen right on who would raise my child if things went bad."
"Underneath the self medicating and persona, you are an amazing man, anyone who could see is doesn't deserve to know you and the great things you possess. Adrian, I have no way ever really to thank you enough for all that you have done for me."
"Don't thank me I technically violated your mind." He replied. "I get to live a life of what runs through Rose Hathaway's mind, her secret desires." He grinned wiggling his eyebrows at me. Laughing I knew this was going to be an interesting life I am about to start.
'How was that?" I asked. "What did you see exactly, why was I stuck?"
"For someone who is messed up themselves you got issues girl, I see a woman in love who would do just about anything. With your absent parents to every aspect of your life you've had sadness, what happened was you triggered something in your mind and with darkness it put you in a protective shell."
I guess it made sense growing up the only happiness it had was with Lissa and her family, after they passed, I was overcome with more sadness. They may not have been my real family, but they were always around and there for me. Then Mason died, Dimitri turned Strigoi, my coma. My life was a tragedy after another something must have clicked.
Sitting here talking with him, chatting passed the time being alone before bed.
We talked for awhile catching up on everyone's lives the last month.
Yawning I struggled to keep my eyes open. "Get some sleep Little Dhampir I will see you at home in a few days."
Nodding my head, I said bid him a goodnight and went to sleep.
Morning Old man, Mom what do you two know the meaning of the word sleeping in?" I groaned as both looked at my sleeping form. Leaving Guardian Pavel at the door they came in and closed the door behind them. I felt like I was having a case of déjà vu, I really needed to stay away from hospitals for awhile.
"None sense Rose get up." She instructed opening the curtains. "It is a beautiful day you are wasting, and we have some free time so get your arse up." Making me groan in protest. So much for sleeping in till Dimitri got here. Tomorrow I could go home.
'What do you want to talk about that you couldn't just call me about." I replied.
"Young lady we came to see you zip it and enjoy our free time before your mom leaves and I get back to my work." Abe spoke.
'Yes, Dad.' I spoke sarcastically, I was a mother not a child to be scorned by her parents for sleeping in. Like I am in a hospital bed couldn't I get a few days of peace and quiet.
"You will appear in court for Tasha's trail next week since she is still a Royal, she gets one. Marcus on the other hand will get no trial and will be sent away, they had deemed him way too dangerous to be let out anywhere near Tatian you or the child." Abe explained sitting in the chair closest to the door.
"Alright no problem, anything else I need to know?" I asked.
"Yes, Tatiana said she still needed an answer for you job position since you have been in a coma as well as your promise mark appointment will be held two weeks from now." Nodding I figured this was to happen. Since technically my maternity leave has already begun.
"I will get to that as soon as I get out." I replied. "I also have a question old man, awhile back you said Marcus owed you something. What exactly did he owe you?"
"He tried to steal a family heirloom, only he knew I had. After that we never spoke again. Marcus works in the black market, so I have seen him every once in awhile, but I never forgot what he tried to do." Abe answered, getting up from his seat he walks to the window to look out.
"That doesn't matter anymore because spilling blood of my family is a declaration of war, and I won."
Giving me a look of guilt he than says, "I apologise for not being able to protect you and my grand son, will you forgive me."
"Of course." I replied, I truly meant what I said. Sometimes when you brush with death you learn life is to short to always hold grudges.