Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at /works/522269.
Rating:
Mature
Archive Warning:
Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category:
F/M
Fandom:
Doctor Who RPF
Relationship:
Alex Kingston/Matt Smith
Character:
Alex Kingston, Matt Smith
Stats:
Published: 2012-09-26 Words: 9742
Second Impressions
by Jade_II
Summary
Today was the day he was going to meet Alex Kingston. That itself wouldn't have been a problem, if only he hadn't… met her before.
Notes
I figure if I post this here it will be in a nicer format than over on Tumblr. Thanks to Charina for the beta :)
Matt Smith was terrified.
Today was the day he was going to meet Alex Kingston.
That itself wouldn't have been a problem, if only he hadn't… met her before.
It had been on a flight to Sicily. He was supposed to be going with a friend, but the bastard had cancelled at the last minute, so Matt was alone. And so, apparently, was the woman sitting next to him.
She was dressed in cheery summer clothes, but that cheer did not extend to her face. She looked… lost.
Matt wasn't sure that she didn't want to be left alone, but it was a long flight and after an hour and a half of trying to stare at her less obviously he decided to take the plunge and speak to her.
"Peanut?" he said, offering her his complementary bag.
"What?" she said distractedly; then looking mortified, "Oh God, sorry, I was miles away. What did you say?"
"Just offering you a peanut," he repeated, unable to help a grin at her reaction.
"Oh! No, thank you, darling. I'm fine without."
"You sure? They're very… peanutty."
"Yes." She smiled. "I'm sure."
"Okay then. Just checking." He put the peanuts away and made himself turn to look out of the window; clearly she wasn't in the mood for conversation.
He watched the clouds, instead. Interesting things really, clouds. From up here they looked almost solid, like a blanket of untouched snow.
"Would you like one of these?"
He turned back to find a small box of Lindor chocolates under his nose. Looking up, he saw the woman smiling at him again.
He needed to find out her name, he decided firmly.
"Yes, absolutely yes, thank you!" He helped himself eagerly. "I'm Matt," he said, sneaking a hand around the chocolate box.
She took it, shaking it warmly. "Alex. Nice to meet you."
"You too." He beamed. "Especially with chocolates."
That made her laugh – a warm, glorious sound that Matt decided instantly he needed to hear again.
"So what do you do, Matt?" she asked, settling back into her seat.
"Oh…" He hesitated without even knowing why. "Um. Acting."
"Snap." She was smiling, again. Matt wondered if she knew how distracting that was. "Let's not talk about work, then. Hobbies?"
"Er, football, sometimes."
"You know, I've been living in America for so long that whenever someone says football I have to stop for a moment to work out what they mean. Terrible, isn't it?"
He laughed. "Yeah, actually, it is."
They talked all the way to Sicily.
Not only were they on the same flight; it turned out they were staying in the same hotel.
Alex raised an eyebrow at him, pulling her suitcase towards the taxi rank. "What a coincidence."
"Must be serendipity!" Matt declared, trotting along beside her like a besotted puppy and perfectly aware of the fact. Amazing, what a couple of hours could do to you. "Share a cab?" he suggested.
"How did I know you were going to say that?"
"Is that a yes?"
"Oh, I suppose."
"Excellent! While you're in a saying-yes mood, can I buy you a drink later?"
She stopped then, studying him, and when he stopped moving himself and saw her biting her lip he worried that she was going to say no. Which would probably change the shared cab idea to a 'no' as well, and dammit, he'd probably just buggered it all up…
"Yes," she said eventually, and Matt let himself breathe again.
It was more than one drink, in actual fact. They were on their third by the time he got her to spill the reason she was here, alone.
She leaned her elbows on the bar and massaged her forehead before she answered, without looking at him. "My husband and I split up. And now he's got my daughter, and I'm… by myself. Everyone kept telling me I should go away somewhere, so here I am."
"Oh. I'm sorry. That sounds… rubbish." Matt cringed even as he said it – rubbish was probably not the most appropriate word. And really, he thought, he should have rehearsed an appropriate response, because it had been pretty clear from the start that something big had been bothering her. "No, sorry," he said again. "Rubbish probably doesn't really cover it, does it?"
"No, that's a pretty good word, on the whole." She managed a smile then, picking up her wine glass to clink with his. "To rubbishness."
"To—" Matt began to repeat, then shook his head. "Nope, sorry. That's a rubbish toast."
That made her laugh. "Okay. What shall we drink to, then?"
"Wonderfulness," he replied immediately. "May this week be full of it."
"Ahh." She smiled. "Sounds wonderful."
They clinked glasses again.
He found her sitting on the beach the next morning, her hair tied back in an unruly ponytail, part of her covered by a one-piece swimsuit and the rest of her gloriously bare. He tried and failed to estimate her age – she must be older than him, but he couldn't guess by how much. Not enough to render her unattractive, anyway.
"Good morning, he said, watching her look up as his shadow fell across her.
"Oh, hello." She waved her phone. "I was just sending my daughter a picture of a dead jellyfish I found. It's disgusting – so of course she'll love it."
"Ah, that kind of child, is she?" Matt replied, depositing his towel on the sand and flopping down next to her. He inched closer. "Can I see?"
"You're that kind of child as well, are you?"
"Oi," he protested. "I am not a child, thank you very much. I'm very manly."
"If you say so, darling."
"I do. I'll prove it to you." He paused. "After you've shown me the jellyfish."
That made her laugh, as intended, and he grinned gleefully as she handed him the phone.
"Oh, wow," he said, squinting down at the image. "That is disgusting. Don't let me get stung by one of those, will you?"
"If you're so manly, dear, shouldn't you be the one protecting me from the ghastly monsters?"
"I would," he said, "but you survived this one on your own. Clearly you can look out for yourself."
That made her sigh, and Matt cringed guiltily. He hadn't meant to remind her of her new 'on her own' status. "I hope so," she said finally, looking out to sea.
"Hey," he said, smiling cheerily and pressing her phone back into her hand. "You got any plans for today?"
"Sit on the beach and mope?" she said, just about managing to return his smile.
"Well, that sounds like loads of fun, but…" Matt pulled his guidebook from his bag and began to flip through it. "We could also wander the streets of Palermo, or visit some ancient Greek temples, or the wine country…"
"Hang on, hang on." Alex rested a hand on his arm, preventing him from turning any more pages. He wondered if she could feel all the little hairs standing on end at her touch. "What's this 'we' that you're talking about?"
"Oh." He closed the book and tried not to sound too disappointed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to impose; I just thought since you're alone and I'm alone it might be more fun to be… alone together."
"Are you sure you wouldn't rather be alone with someone closer to your own age, darling?"
"What? No!" he said dismissively. "I mean yes, I'm sure." Matt fidgeted a bit, then confessed, "I like you."
She laughed, patting him on the head. "I think I'm starting to like you too, dear."
They visited the wine country in the end, Matt insisting on driving the rented car because he thought Alex probably needed the wine more than he did. She was much jollier once she was a bit tipsy, all smiles and giggles and awe at the landscapes they passed through, and that made him smile and giggle and awestruck too.
He was almost glad he'd had to come here alone. He had a feeling it was going to be a much more interesting trip than it might have been otherwise.
They bought more than one bottle of wine, stashing them in Alex's hotel room when they returned before heading out to a real Sicilian restaurant for real Sicilian food. She'd sobered up a bit by the time their dinner arrived, but seemed a lot more content than she had this morning. She closed her eyes and sighed happily as she dug into her starter, and Matt wondered if it was possible to fall in love with
someone in just one day.
The more rational part of him hoped not, because falling in love with somebody who'd just split from her husband seemed like a monumentally bad idea, but the sentimental part of him was already too far gone to care.
"Thank you for today," Alex told him. "It was a lot more fun than I was expecting to have this week." "Yeah?" Matt grinned. "We'll have to top it tomorrow, then."
"Tomorrow?" She raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to be entertaining me for my whole holiday, then?"
"Well, I certainly plan to try."
That made her smile. "That's really sweet. But don't feel obliged to keep me company if you'd rather be doing something else."
"Fat chance of that. I'm afraid you're stuck with me." "Well. That sounds terrible," she teased.
"Sorry. But unless you flat out tell me to leave you alone, I'm going to be your constant companion for the rest of the week."
"Hmm." Alex rested her chin on her fist, narrowing her eyes at him. "Nah." She grinned. "I think I'll keep you."
They wandered the streets of the city the next day, visiting all the tourist traps and buying postcards and ridiculous souvenirs.
"You're not seriously buying a dishcloth," Alex said, watching as he went through the selection in one of the larger shops.
"I always buy a dishcloth!" he explained. "Everywhere I visit. Because they're not just keepsakes, they're actually useful."
"You're not supposed to use them. Don't they get worn out? You can't run your souvenirs ragged and then throw them out; the whole point of keepsakes is that you keep them."
"Oh yeah? What are you going to buy, then?"
Alex nodded at the shelf behind him. He turned, opened his mouth, and turned back to her.
"A snow globe? From a country that probably has snow once a millennium?"
"I like snow globes." She shrugged. "They're pretty."
"But useless, and fragile! How are you even going to get that home without breaking it?"
"I've managed in the past, darling; I think I'll be fine."
Still, Matt insisted on wrapping the globe in his dishcloth and carrying it in his rucksack for the rest of the day, reasoning that it would be far safer there than in the flimsy plastic bag the shop assistant had given Alex.
They roamed the streets until dusk, Matt keeping a lookout for disgusting things that would amuse Alex's daughter (the Capuchin Catacombs were particularly good for this). When it started to get late they grabbed some food and headed down to the nearest beach to eat.
"Well?" Matt asked, licking grease off his fingers as he leaned back on one elbow. "Did that beat yesterday?"
"Hmm." Alex leaned back next to him. "Not sure. Yesterday was less creepy."
"Ah, but today's photos will be your daughter's favourites."
"True, unfortunately."
"And you got that silly snow globe thingy."
"Also true. Assuming you haven't broken it."
"I've taken very good care of it, thank you very much! I think I've done pretty well, for someone as clumsy as I am."
"Wait." Alex narrowed her eyes, looking at him mock-seriously. "I entrusted my snow globe to a clumsy person? You've misled me, darling. That's terribly dishonest of you, you know."
"Well." Matt licked his lips, conscious that he was about to do something probably very stupid. He leaned in closer to her, trying to judge the look in her eyes. "Not that clumsy…"
And he kissed her.
For a moment he thought she was starting to respond, opening her mouth under his… but then her hand was grasping the front of his shirt and she was pushing them apart, shaking her head.
"Sorry. Matt, sorry, I—"
"God, I'm sorry, that was stupid, I don't know what I was thinking…" He shuffled backwards awkwardly but Alex grabbed his wrist, keeping him from moving any farther.
"No, no," she said firmly. "It's not that, it's just…" She bit her lip. "Look, if someone happens to recognise me, and snaps a picture… I don't want my daughter to have to see it. She's nowhere near ready for something like that."
"Right, right, sorry. I'm sorry." He was blushing now, embarrassment enveloping him like fire.
Dammit. He wondered briefly about digging a hole and burying himself in it.
"Matt," Alex was saying, and he realised belatedly that it was the second time she'd done so.
"Yes?" he said, cringing.
She was worrying her lip again, and he really wanted to replace her teeth there with his own, but a fresh wave of mortification reminded him that he'd probably just blown any chances of that.
"Just… if you wanted to kiss me somewhere less public… I wouldn't object." …Oh.
He woke up the next morning with sunlight beaming into his eyes and Alex's hair tickling his nose.
She smells nice, was his first thought.
I hope this isn't a dream, was the next.
Then, bloody hell, I shouldn't have left the curtains open. I might actually go blind if I don't move.
Squinting, Matt carefully disentangled his limbs from Alex's and stumbled across the room to close the curtains. He ran a hand through his hair, turning around to survey the room – which was, frankly, a tip. He was not the tidiest of people to begin with, and now his already littered floor was covered in hastily shed clothes from last night, as well as what must be yesterday's entire contents of his backpack, which he had unpacked carelessly in his mad search for a condom.
Well.
Matt grinned.
Three condoms, actually.
Still, he had been in Alex's room and it had been spotless, so clearly she liked to have things clean and tidy. And Matt liked her enough to keep things clean and tidy for her, he decided, beginning to pick things off the floor and shove them into the wardrobe.
"Are you loving and leaving me, darling?"
He turned to see Alex watching sleepily from the bed. "My hotel room, remember?" he said, immediately abandoning his efforts in favour of climbing back on the bed, lying down beside her on his elbows with his face cupped between his hands. "If anyone's leaving it should be you, which is not allowed because I'm ordering us up some breakfast in a minute and you have to be here to eat it."
"In a minute?" She raised an eyebrow. "What are you going to do before breakfast then, Matt?" Matt leaned closer and planted a firm kiss against her lips. "Oh, I've got a few ideas." Alex grinned, and kissed him again.
The rest of the week passed in a blur of sex and sightseeing, and all too soon they were lying in Alex's bed on their last morning together, trying to summon the will to get out of bed and start preparing to leave.
They ate breakfast quietly, neither quite wanting to acknowledge that this was their last meal together, then headed back up to Alex's room to pack her bags. Her flight was earlier than his; she was getting a connecting flight from Germany straight to the States, while Matt wasn't headed back to the UK until late that afternoon.
He fetched and carried things and sat on her suitcase for her so that she could get it closed. Then he remained seated there when she stepped back with a sigh, looking around to check that she hadn't forgotten anything.
"Done?" Matt prompted.
Alex nodded. "I think so."
They looked at each other, an uncomfortable silence slowly permeating the room.
"Can I call you sometime?" Matt blurted out, bolting to his feet.
The look on her face told him the answer before she even opened her mouth. "I don't think that's a good idea."
Matt forced himself to swallow, to not show her how much she was hurting him by saying that. "Why not?"
Alex looked away, fidgeting; after a moment she took a deep breath and made herself turn back to him. "Look, Matt. This week has been fabulous. Far better than anything I could have imagined when I stepped onto that plane. But I really can't be in a relationship right now, especially not long-distance. I think it's best if we just… let it be."
"Can I at least have your e-mail address?" he pleaded. "I get the relationship thing, I do… I just want to know that you'll be okay."
"Google me. If I'm really not okay, I'm sure the whole world will know about it in short order." Matt clenched his teeth, shaking his head. "Alex, I don't want this to be goodbye forever!"
Her expression softened a bit then, and she reached up to cup his cheek. "Neither do I, darling. But I think it has to be goodbye for now."
He sighed, trying to stop the panic rising in his chest. She had made up her mind; there was nothing he could do. "If I ever see you again, promise me you won't run away from me without giving me a chance," he said finally.
Alex pressed a kiss to his lips. "I promise."
Matt glanced at the clock behind her. "Half an hour til your cab gets here." He hesitated, then shrugged. "One for the road?"
Alex rolled her eyes and pulled him closer.
Half an hour later he carried her suitcase down to the lobby for her, helped her into a cab and watched it drive away until it was out of sight.
It wasn't until he was packing his own bags that he realised he still had her snow globe.
The worst thing was that he didn't actually know if Alex knew that he was the same Matt who had been… well, been such good friends with her for that week. He was terrified that she would walk into the room and go Oh, it's him! No, no, I can't work with HIM.
The same way he had watched her first Who episodes and thought, Oh, it's her! Oh God, it would be amazing to work with her…
They were shooting in a forest, tonight. He was wandering around the set waiting for everything to be set up and fiddling with his sonic screwdriver when Steven came up behind him.
"Ah, Matt!" he said, and startled him so badly that he dropped the screwdriver and then, upon turning around, stepped on it.
"Steven," he said, glancing up at him before bending to pick up the remains of the prop. "Um. Sorry about that."
"Worry about that later," Steven said, clapping him heartily on the shoulder. "Right now I'd like you to meet River Song."
He stepped back to reveal Alex Kingston, who was watching them both with the same amused smile she had been sporting when he'd picked out his dishcloth in the souvenir shop. He still had that dishcloth. He tried not to use it too often in case he wore it out.
"Hello," Matt said, holding out his hand and trying not to let his nervousness seep into his voice. "Doctor," Alex said, shaking his hand and nodding at him, her eyes crinkling. "It's a pleasure. "Yeah," he said, swallowing. "Likewise."
That night was both wonderful and frustrating by turns. Wonderful because really, she was an amazing actress and he was enjoying the hell out of all the flirting he got to do with her; frustrating because he wanted to be alone with her for just five minutes and ask her how she was doing and if she maybe wanted to have dinner sometime without the whole cast and crew overhearing.
Especially if she said no.
He had agonised for weeks over what exactly he wanted to say to her – but 'Hi, how are you, dinner?' seemed to sum it up, really. The response he was expecting after all this time was 'Hi, fine, no,' but he had to try. Had to. It had taken him months to even start getting over her, and just when he had finally begun to go whole days without thinking about her here she was, waltzing back into his life without giving him any choice in the matter whatsoever.
And there was a teeny tiny part of him that was hoping that was some kind of sign.
He finally, finally got her to himself once they'd been dropped off at the block of flats reserved for the production. They said goodnight to Karen and then stood there, looking at each other as she wandered off.
"Well," Matt said eventually. "Can I walk you to your door, Ms Kingston?"
"Mr Smith. You may." She smiled, hooking her arm easily through his as they ambled towards the stairs.
"So how've you been?" he asked after a moment.
"Not bad. Yourself?"
"Yeah, okay." Apart from obsessing over this woman who had turned him down, but hey… She had also promised to give him a chance before she did so again. "What floor are you on?"
"First. Number 15."
"Really?" Matt swallowed as they reached the top of the flight of stairs and held the door open for her. "That's just across from me."
"Oh, is it?"
He nodded as they walked the few short steps to her door. "Yeah." He pointed. "That's me."
Alex smiled. "Good to know."
She was fumbling for her keys now and Matt panicked – he couldn't say goodnight to her without some acknowledgment that they weren't just strangers. Not if he wanted to survive this episode without going insane. "You want to come over for a quick drink?" he asked, trying not to sound too desperate.
Alex froze with her fingers closed around her keychain. "That's… not a good idea, Matt."
"No!" he protested quickly, "No, no… connotations or anything. But we should talk."
"My daughter is asleep in there," she objected. "Her babysitter will be wanting to go home."
"Please. Just five minutes. I just… today's been hell, Alex. We need to sort this out."
"Sort what out?"
"You know what. And I really don't think it's a good idea to be talking about it here in the middle of the hall, where anyone could walk past."
Alex sighed, looking at her closed door and then back to him. "Okay. Five minutes."
He successfully kept himself from jumping for joy and went to unlock his own door instead, ushering her inside. He had tidied the place just in case; picked his clothes up off the floor, disposed of the empty drinks bottles, put away the dishes… he had told himself he was being overoptimistic, but right now he was very, very grateful for his foresight.
Matt went straight to the kitchen, pulling a bottle from the fridge before she could object. "Wine?" he asked, rummaging in the cupboard for glasses.
Alex followed him in. "I'm not sure—" she was saying, but paused when she saw the bottle already on the counter. She sighed. "Oh, go on, then."
Hiding his grin, Matt poured the wine and led the way back to the living area, where he deposited himself on the sofa and handed Alex her drink once she joined him. "Cheers," he said with a smile, raising his glass, and a wave of relief rushed over him when she gave a small smile back and clinked her glass against his.
"Cheers," she said, closing her eyes as she took a sip. Half a dozen mental images of her doing the same thing under far better circumstances flashed through Matt's mind. He drank some of his own wine and pushed them aside.
She raised her eyebrows expectantly. He decided to dive right in.
"You promised me you would give me a chance before you ran away," he reminded her.
Alex looked away. "Matt…"
"Sealed it with a kiss and everything," he pointed out.
She sighed. "Matt, you can't seriously think it would be a good idea for us to pick up where we left off?"
"Since we left off with you telling me goodbye, no, I don't." He tried to hide the little leap his heart
made just from hearing her admit that she remembered. "What exactly are you asking me, then?" "For a chance. Like you promised. That's all."
"A chance to what? We can't become involved again, Matt. We're working together now, you're about to become a huge celebrity, not to mention the fact that we still live on opposite sides of the Atlantic—"
"All arguments to bring up once you've given me a chance. Come on. Just… have dinner with me."
Alex looked down, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head, and he felt suddenly guilty for pushing her like this.
"Sorry," he apologised, putting his drink down on the coffee table. "I'm sorry, Alex; if you really don't want to…"
"I do want to." She looked up at him, and he was dismayed to see that there were tears in her eyes. "That's the problem."
Matt blinked, baffled. "How is that a problem?"
Alex smiled sadly, and reached out to run a hand down his arm. "Because it's never, ever going to work, darling."
"But how can you know that unless we try?"
"How can it not be obvious? The cards are not stacked in our favour, you must see that."
"Alright." He nodded. "Okay, yes, I can see that. I just don't think that means we should give up before we've begun. Sometimes people beat the odds, you know."
"Only in stories, dear. Magic like that doesn't happen in real life."
"What?" Matt was truly astonished now. "What do you mean, magic doesn't happen in real life? What about… I don't know, the northern lights? Have you seen them, Alex? Magic! There's… rainbows. Meteor showers. Medicine, medicine is magic – all those people saved who wouldn't have had a chance a hundred years ago, you don't think that's magic? What about… what about the two of us, thrown together by chance, twice." He swallowed, then steeled himself and took her hands tightly in his. "I think that's magic."
She was really crying now – but she had confessed that she wanted to say yes, so he was damned if he was going to let her get away with not doing so. "Matt…"
"Just dinner," he said. "Come on. Just… take this one chance with me."
Alex sighed, shaking her head from side to side; quickly at first, but then slower and slower until she stopped and her eyes met his.
"Okay," she said at length. "Fine." After a moment, she even managed a smile. "Okay."
The next night on set, Matt was in much higher spirits. He had to consciously keep himself from doing a little victory dance every time he caught Alex's eye.
She was trying to be restrained, he could tell, but every now and then he would look at her and she
would look at him and try to look away again before he noticed, only to break eye contact with a barely concealed grin when she failed.
It made him even more clumsy than usual, but fortunately nobody had really had time to gauge his 'usual' yet. As far as they knew he was like this all the time. As far as he knew he would be like this all the time, if Alex kept looking at him that way.
He had been going to wait until they were shooting at more reasonable hours again to take Alex to dinner, but halfway through the night he had decided that that might actually be physically impossible for him, so he'd have to try a different approach.
He was bouncing with nervous energy by the time he got Alex alone.
"So, dinner," he said unsubtly, ushering her up the stairs towards their floor.
"Yes?" Alex said expectantly.
"Do you think your babysitter would be able to start an hour early tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow?" She sounded surprised. "I don't know. I'll have to see. You want to take me out before work? I won't be able to dress up too much for that…"
Matt waved his hands dismissively. "As if I care. Wear what you want; we're going to have a picnic."
"Really?" Alex raised her eyebrows. "Isn't it supposed to rain tomorrow?"
He shook his head; the weather was not allowed to mess up his plans. "Nah. Don't be silly. It's July."
It rained.
Matt stood looking out of the window, willing it to stop, but the weather was being most uncooperative today.
He harrumphed grumpily and turned to survey his living area.
It wasn't much, he decided, but it would have to do.
There was a knock on his door twenty minutes later and he tripped over his own feet and just barely managed to keep from falling flat on his face as he hurried to answer. He stood in front of the door and ran a hand through his hair, trying to look like he wasn't the clumsiest man alive, and reached for the handle.
Alex was standing there in the sundress she had been wearing on their last day in Sicily. He wondered if that was intentional.
"I think the picnic might have to wait til another day, darling," she commented wryly.
"Says who?" Matt replied, trying not to grin too much.
"The weather? Me? I'm not going out in that until I bloody well have to," she said, waving a hand at the window behind him.
"Ah. Well," Matt said smugly, turning his back and walking the few short steps to the living area. "You see, I never said anything about going outside."
He heard her footsteps behind him. "Then wha… Oh," she finished quietly.
"You might want to close the door," he said, kneeling down on the blanket he had laid out on the floor and reaching for the hamper in the middle.
Alex did as he asked and sat down beside him. "You are mad," she said, accepting the glass he handed her. "Absolutely bonkers."
"All part of my charm, Kingston. Wine?"
"Just one glass," she said firmly. "We are working later, I hope you haven't forgotten."
"I know; I've only got you to myself for an hour."
"Well, maybe that's a good thing."
"Why?" Matt grinned. "Am I wearing you down?"
Alex tried and failed to hide her smirk. "Maybe a bit." She shuffled closer to the picnic basket, peeking inside. "What are we eating?"
"Hmm. Let's see." He unstrapped the plates and cutlery from the lid of the hamper and put them down on the blanket, then pulled the lid off a tupperware box and began to spoon salad onto the plates.
"Oh my God, Matt, you've got real plates and forks," Alex said delightedly. "This is a posh picnic."
"Nothing but the best," he said, reaching for the little bottle of vinaigrette dressing and pouring it liberally over both plates. He pushed one across to her and handed her a fork. "Dig in."
"Thank you, dear." She picked up her plate and took a bite.
Matt watched her for a second to make sure she didn't hate it, and then grabbed his own plate.
And dropped it.
He tried to catch it, but that only made things worse, because it slid out of his fingers and onto Alex's lap, causing her to shriek and drop her own plate on herself as well.
She froze, hands in the air, staring at the greasy vinaigrette stains all down her front, the salad pooled in her lap and the plates sliding slowly off her knees and onto the floor.
"Shit!" Matt said, reaching hastily for a plate and scooping handfuls of salad off of her. "Fuck, Alex, I am so sorry…"
"It's… okay," she managed, still not moving.
"It's not, it's really not, I've absolutely ruined your dress…" He picked the last pieces of salad off her legs and dug around in the hamper for some napkins, one of which he stuffed into one of her hands, and used the other to try to soak up some of the oil in her lap.
Alex finally moved, dabbing ineffectively at her chest and stomach, but she soon gave up and tossed the napkin aside. "It's no use, Matt. I need to change; I can't go to work like this…"
She stood, and Matt scrambled to his feet as well. "I'm really, really, sorry, Alex, I—"
"It's fine, Matt," she cut him off, squeezing his arm. "Not your fault. I'll be back in a few minutes," she promised. Then she turned and left.
Matt resisted the urge to scream curses at himself the moment she had closed the door. Ranting at himself under his breath, he fetched the plate heaped with dropped salad and emptied it unceremoniously into the bin. The blanket had been splashed with dressing too, so he put everything on the coffee table he had pushed into a corner to make room for it, and dumped it in the laundry basket along with the dirty napkins.
He got onto his hands and knees to inspect the carpet, which was thankfully stain-free, then leaned back against the sofa with a sigh.
"Well done, Matt," he grumbled. "That went really well."
When Alex hadn't returned ten minutes later he sighed and grabbed his glass of wine, finishing it in three long sips. He wondered if she was going to come back at all.
Fifteen minutes after that he decided that she definitely wasn't, and got to his feet. Dejectedly, he picked up the other wine glass, piled the remains of the picnic back into the hamper and carried it into the kitchen to empty it.
He put Alex's wine on the counter, stored the bottle and the dessert in the fridge, returned the crockery to the cupboard, and then stood in front of the counter for a moment, contemplating the tub containing the quiche he had made. It sort of felt wrong for him to just eat it, but he was starving and would have to leave in a few minutes.
Sighing, Matt pulled the lid off and grabbed a fork.
"Starting without me, are you?" Alex's voice said from behind him.
Matt whirled around to face her, narrowly avoiding throwing the quiche onto the floor in the process. "Alex! Sorry, I… Well, I thought you weren't coming back."
"I know, I'm sorry – Salome was jumping on the bed while I was getting changed, and then of course she lost her balance and crashed right into the dresser. So I had to go into mummy mode for a bit."
"God, is she okay?"
"Oh, she's fine. Just some bumps and bruises and wounded pride. She's in bed now." Alex joined him at the counter, looking down at the quiche. "That looks delicious," she said, reaching into the hamper for a fork. She quirked an eyebrow. "Shall we?"
Matt blinked, surprised. "Yeah, yeah, of course."
They demolished the quiche right there at the counter, standing side by side and elbowing each other occasionally.
Alex threw her fork down when she was done and reached for her wine, which she finished with closed eyes and a sigh. "Oh, that's better." She checked her watch. "We should be going."
Matt licked his lips. "Not quite." He stepped closer, turning to trap her against the counter.
"Oh?" she said, looking up at him.
He nodded. "Just one thing I need to do first."
"And what might that b—"
He covered her mouth with his own, cutting her off, and his hands wandered up and into her hair of
their own accord. Alex sighed, folding into him and wrapping her arms around his back.
She tasted just like he remembered.
When he pulled away she was smiling softly, and he reached out to tuck a curl behind her ear.
"How am I doing so far?" he whispered.
"Not bad," Alex whispered back. "But you haven't convinced me yet."
"I will," he promised. "Just you wait."
They spent a lot of time sitting around that night, jumping up and in front of the cameras whenever the rain let up enough to allow them to film, and then being wrapped quickly in raincoats and shoved under cover when it started coming down in sheets again.
Matt stood as close to Alex as he dared, nudging her occasionally and grinning. She rolled her eyes and nudged him back, keeping her gaze carefully averted from his face.
Eventually they were allowed to go home two hours early due to the ever-heavier rainfall, and Matt bagged the seat next to Alex's on the ride back to the flats. Karen was dozing on his other side when he felt Alex slip her hand into his.
He looked at her, a smile playing on his lips, but she was looking out of the window like there was nothing out of the ordinary.
Their by now customary walk to the space between their doors left a trail of rainwater up the stairs and down the corridor. When they slowed they were equal distances from the two flats, and they contemplated each other in silence for a moment.
"Well," Alex said eventually.
"Well what?" Matt replied, doing a very good job of sounding light-hearted considering what he really wanted to say was hey, two hours until you're expected back, please spend them in my bed.
"Well…" she said, drawing out the word before biting her lip. "You know, we never ate our dessert." Matt couldn't help the grin that spread over his face. "I'm sure we can remedy that, if you want."
Alex looked over her shoulder at the door to her flat, and then, turning back to him, took a deep breath. "Okay."
Turning quickly to his door so that she couldn't see the unmitigated glee on his face, Matt unlocked it and led her inside. He hung their raincoats on the hooks by the door, and they both shed wet shoes and socks as well. Then he installed Alex on the sofa with the TV remote while he went to make tea and retrieve dessert.
"Oh, you are marvellous," Alex sighed when he came back carrying two steaming mugs. "Just what I need."
"Anything on the telly?" he asked, depositing Alex's tea in her waiting hands and his own on the table.
"Nope." She tossed the remote on the sofa beside her.
"Oh, well. We'll just have to entertain each other instead. Back in a sec."
He pulled two small tubs from the fridge and removed their lids, sticking a spoon in each of them and carrying them back to the living area.
"Here you go," he said, settling onto the sofa next to Alex. "Dessert is served."
"Mmm, smells chocolately." Alex took a tub and snuggled into his side.
"Yeah, chocolate mousse does that."
Alex grinned, digging into her mousse and slowly licking it off the spoon.
Matt swallowed, and then ate several spoonfuls of his own dessert just to distract himself.
"How are you, anyway?" he asked, suddenly feeling guilty for not asking earlier. "Compared to… before, I mean."
She looked up at him, surprised. "I'm fine," she said. "Better. Even happy, sometimes."
"Good," he said. Then, "I can tell, actually. Your eyes are different. You don't look like it's the end of the world anymore."
"Was I really that bad?"
"Yes."
"Sorry about that."
"What are you apologising for? You're not the one who made you miserable."
"Sometimes I am," she said, licking the last of the mousse off her spoon and setting it down in the tub on the table.
"Well, you need to stop that," Matt decided.
"Hmm." She ran a hand up and down his arm and smiled. "Maybe you're right."
Then she kissed him.
He was still holding a half-full tub of mousse in one hand and a spoon in the other so he couldn't manage the most dignified of responses – in fact he was quite pleased with himself just for managing to keep the mousse out of her hair – but he leaned in eagerly, trying to show her what a good idea this actually was using only his lips, and his tongue, and his teeth, and he thought he might be succeeding because Alex moaned into his mouth and pushed him back onto the sofa.
"Mmpf," he protested weakly, waving his mousse around helplessly.
Alex laughed, breaking the kiss and carefully taking mousse and spoon from his hands and laying them on the coffee table. She leaned back in and Matt swallowed, because he really didn't want to risk making her change her mind about this but he had to. "Are you sure about this?" he asked breathlessly.
"Yes," she said, attacking his neck with short, sharp nips of her teeth that sent shivers straight down to his groin.
"Really really sure?" he asked, even though a part of him was cursing himself for it. "Only two nights ago you were completely against it, and the only thing that's happened between then and now is a ruined picnic…"
Alex paused, looking up at him seriously. "Can we talk about this later?" she said.
"Oh," he said dumbly; then, when she pressed a thigh between his legs, "Oh, oh, okay…"
"Good," she said, baring her teeth with a grin that was almost feral, and reached down to pull his trousers and underpants off in one fell swoop. She shuffled backwards and bent her head to prod at his growing erection with her tongue, and he was actually irrationally worried for a moment about those teeth but then forgot about them completely a moment later when his cock was suddenly enveloped by her mouth. It was quite difficult just remembering to breathe, in fact.
"God, Alex," he managed, and his head fell back onto the arm of the sofa without Matt himself having much say in the matter.
She hummed in response, and he could feel her lips tightening into a grin, and yes the breathing thing was really getting quite complicated now; he could only manage it in short little gasps, and oh God she was moving her mouth now and doing obscene things with her tongue, and –
"Stop, stop," he blurted, because it had been a long night and he didn't know if he'd be able to manage a second round, and when she pushed him over the edge he wanted to be damned sure he was taking her with him.
She released him with one final stroke of her tongue and smirked at him. "What?" she asked smugly, her face flushed. She licked her lips, and any words he might have said in response were instantly wiped from his mind so that all he could achieve was a low growl, with which he got to his knees and pushed her off of him into a sitting position. He began to unfasten her buttons, pressing urgent kisses to every inch of hastily exposed flesh, and she reached around to undo buttons from the bottom as well. When their hands met in the middle he grabbed hers with his, raising them up over her head as he pushed her backwards into the cushions and kissed his way from her neck down to her chest. He pressed his teeth into the swell of flesh half-covered by her bra, using the friction to pull her breast out a little more, and then pushed his tongue down between fabric and skin until it just brushed the edge of her nipple.
Alex moaned at that, pulling her hands away from his to pull off her shirt and unfasten her bra. She tossed it aside and grabbed him by the back of the neck, trying to guide his mouth back to where it had just been, but Matt decided not to comply so easily and moved lower instead, planting kisses down across her ribs and her stomach until he could run his tongue over the skin just above the waistband of her trousers. Alex, clearly growing impatient now, pushed him away again forcibly and stood, divesting herself quickly of her trousers and knickers.
"Condom?" she said, resting a hand on her hip, and Matt found himself very torn between following her clear instruction to find a condom now and the urge to run his hands all over her body a few times first. Her quirked eyebrow made the decision for him, and he scrambled to his feet and hurried into the bedroom and back, pulling a condom from the box, managing to open it without dropping it and rolling it on hastily. Alex was watching him expectantly, running the fingers of one hand slowly down across her stomach and between her legs.
"Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?" he breathed, closing the distance between them and brushing his fingertips over her hips.
"Yes," she said with a grin, throwing back her head when he ran his tongue up her neck and around her ear.
"Turn around," he told her in a low voice, smoothing his fingertips down over her buttocks, "and bend over."
Alex's grin widened. "Whatever you say." She reached down between them to squeeze him firmly before she complied and he closed his eyes involuntarily with a hiss; when he opened them again she was on all fours on the sofa, looking over her shoulder expectantly.
Matt stepped forward, taking himself in hand and sliding his hard cock slowly over the very tops of her thighs to glide over the slick wetness between them, making her whimper, which in turn caused a moan to escape his own mouth. He reached down with one hand and cupped her breast, squeezing gently and running his thumb slowly back and forth over her nipple, still sliding himself over her folds and just nudging her clit with every stroke.
"Matt," she growled breathlessly. "Get inside me before I explode."
He grinned, pinching both her nipples hard before he did as he was told and buried himself forcefully inside her. Alex let out a guttural moan and her head fell forward between her arms when he began to move, hard and fast the way he knew she liked it. He reclaimed her nipples, pinching and twisting before moving one hand to tangle in her hair instead, wrapping it around his fingers and tugging steadily as he pounded into her.
"You are magnificent," he whispered, bending down to lick and bite at the skin of her back.
She moaned loudly again, shifting her arms so she could reach one hand down between her legs and rub at her clit, reaching farther back momentarily to give his balls a brief squeeze.
"Fuck, Alex," Matt managed, gasping.
"Yes please," she murmured, pulling her fingers back to where she needed them most. "God, Matt, I'm almost—"
Her supporting arm buckled underneath her as she came, making the most glorious noises, and that and the sudden adjustment of their position were enough to send Matt over the edge a moment later, gasping her name and pulling harder on her hair until he was sure he was hurting her but she didn't complain, still making contented little noises as she rode out the aftershocks of her own orgasm.
He collapsed on top of her; resting his chin on her back as he took a moment to be sure his legs would work. Then he stood shakily, disposed quickly of the condom and dragged Alex to her feet.
"What are you doing?" she said dazedly, stumbling after him as he pulled her away from the sofa. "Bed," he said firmly. "Soft. Comfy. Blankets."
"Bit late in the game for that, isn't it?" she commented, but did not protest when he led her into the bedroom and pushed her onto the bed, pulling the covers up over them both when he followed.
"That's better," he declared, pulling her close.
"You know I can't stay," she reminded him, even as she laid her head on his chest.
"This time," he said hopefully.
"You're assuming there will be a next time, are you?"
"Hoping," he clarified. He paused, and then decided that he had to take the plunge. "You want to talk about it now?"
Alex hummed, closing her eyes. "Oh, if we must."
"We must at some point. Maybe sooner is better than later." Maybe not, of course; it was possible that the Talk would put an end to the possibility of any next times, but there were things that needed to be said. "You know I don't just want sex from you, right?"
"Yes, dear. Though it would almost be easier if you did."
"Why? What do you want from me?"
She sighed quietly. "Everything. That's the trouble."
"You're afraid," he surmised.
"Got it in one."
"But we want the same thing. That's good, isn't it?"
"We hardly know each other," Alex protested.
"I know you like it when I take you from behind," he pointed out.
"Oh, shut up."
"And I know you well enough to want to know you better," he continued more seriously. "Can't we just start there?"
She looked up at him, reaching almost hesitantly to run her thumb over his cheek. "Yes," she said eventually. "Yes, I suppose we can."
The next time they had a day off he took Alex and her daughter to the seaside. Unfortunately it was too cold for swimwear and Salome was unimpressed at first, comparing everything to the always-sunny beaches of California – but then Matt found a crab in a rock pool and she spent the next hour and a half with a bucket and a net trying to collect more.
Matt, in the meantime, tried to bury Alex alive.
Salome had left her spade where they were sitting and he was just playing with it idly at first, digging a hole in the sand while he talked to Alex.
"Favourite colour?" he queried, shovelling.
"Purple. Favourite food?"
"Burger and chips – I'm boring that way." Matt paused in his digging. "Age when you lost your virginity?"
"Oh, God." Alex groaned. "Eighteen. You?"
"Fifteen."
"And have you always liked older women?"
"Yes." He grinned. "My GCSE maths teacher was the love of my life for at least a year. She had the most magnificent waist."
"Pervert," Alex said, elbowing him with a smile.
"Cradle-robber."
"I'll have you know yours is the only cradle I've robbed so far, darling. Though I must admit I'm not regretting it yet."
"Yet?" he protested. "That rather implies that you expect to regret it in the future, Kingston." "Well, maybe I will," she said, smirking.
That was when Matt eyed the hole he had been digging and realised it had grown quite large. "Maybe indeed," he said speculatively.
"Ooh, that sounds ominous."
"That depends on what exactly you're willing to do for your daughter's amusement," he declared.
Alex narrowed her eyes. "What are you proposing?"
It was Matt's turn to smirk. "Oh, you'll find out. Anyway, I think it's my turn to ask a question. Favourite cheese?"
"Cheese, really? Camembert."
"That squishy stuff? Eurgh." He made a face. "I prefer hard cheeses, myself," he said, settling himself on his stomach so that he could dig his deepening hole more comfortably.
"There are other things I prefer hard."
"Oi! Your daughter is right over there, you know."
"Oh, please. Even if she heard me it would go right over her head."
"For now. And then one day you'll say something like that and she'll actually get it, and she'll realise how dirty her mother's mind actually is. And then she'll want to bleach her brain. Trust me, it's not fun."
"Are you speaking from experience, Matthew?"
"You are evil. I told you that only my mother calls me that."
"Precisely, dear."
"I'm getting you back for that. Salome!" he called, and she looked up from the tiny shell she was examining. "I need your help!"
Salome looked surprised, but came trotting over willingly enough. "Help with what?" she demanded.
"Look," he said, "I've dug a hole, and your mum is being mean to me, so I'm going to throw her in and cover her with sand. Only I need you to help me lift her feet."
"What?" said Alex, shuffling backwards. "No!"
But Salome was already grabbing her ankles. "Come on, Mummy. Don't spoil the fun."
Matt grabbed Alex from behind and she shrieked, but the grin on Salome's face told him to keep going. "Ready?" he said, and hauled Alex into the air. "One, two, three, heave!"
They dumped Alex into the hole and Salome pounced on her immediately, keeping her from escaping while Matt piled sand in on top of her.
"You're going to regret this," Alex swore, but the effect was rather ruined by the fact that she couldn't stop laughing. "Oh, I'm going to get sand everywhere!"
"We'll just have to scrub you clean later," Matt said into her ear, for which she shoved him.
"You smug git," she complained.
"Mummy!" Salome said, shocked.
"Darling, I was just teasing," Alex reassured her quickly. "Get off me, then – help Matt in his ridiculous endeavour."
Salome grinned and clambered off her mother, and with her help Alex was soon buried in sand up to her shoulders.
Matt sat back on his haunches opposite Salome, who was by now laughing so hard it was making her hiccup. "Go on, Alex," he said. "See if you can escape."
Alex smirked, pulling her arms out of the sand easily and bracing her hands on either side of the hole to heave the rest of her body out. Matt and Salome looked at each other.
"Uh-oh," Matt said, scrambling to his feet. "I think we'd better run."
He grabbed Salome's hand and they fled towards the ocean with Alex pelting after them, shedding sand as she went. Salome let go when they reached the water, shrieking from the sudden cold lapping at her bare feet, but Matt soldiered on just to see if Alex would follow.
He never got to find out because he tripped and fell in. Alex and her daughter were both shrieking with laughter now and neither of them was making any attempt to help him.
But it was worth it, he told himself later, wrapped up in Salome's fluffy pink towel and taking sips of tea from Alex's thermos.
Definitely worth it.
And then suddenly Alex was off back to the States.
"I don't want you to go," Matt complained, burying his face in her curls and sighing. He had snuck into her flat after Salome had gone to bed, feeling oddly like a secretive teenager, and had spent most of the night in Alex's bed trying – sometimes unsuccessfully – to be very quiet.
"I'll be back for the finale," she reminded him, running her hand down his arm.
"That's weeks and weeks and weeks away."
"You sound like Salome does when I have to go away."
"But she's going away too."
Alex chuckled. "I'm really glad you like her so much, dear."
"'Course I do." He got up on his elbow and leaned in to kiss her. "So am I allowed to call you this
time?"
"Yes, Matt."
"Every day?"
"Whenever you like, darling."
"And can I e-mail you?"
"If you like."
"Can we skype? Have you got a webcam?"
"Ohh, what are you thinking now, Matthew?"
"Stop calling me that."
Alex giggled, then turned to look at the clock. "Salome will be up soon," she said, sobering.
"How soon?"
"Any minute now."
"That's too soon," he said, scowling.
"I know." Alex sighed.
"I should go," Matt said, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. "Can I take you to breakfast before you leave?"
"That would be lovely."
"Good."
Breakfast was a glum affair, really. Matt didn't want Alex to go and he was pretty sure she didn't want to either. Salome was looking forward to seeing her father and friends again, but her mother's mood was clearly infectious and she picked at the full English breakfast Matt had treated them all to without much enthusiasm.
Matt didn't want the gloomy expressions on their faces to be the last he saw of them until the finale.
Fortunately, he had an ace up his sleeve.
"So," he said brightly, making a show of digging enthusiastically into his fried eggs. "Did I tell you how when I was cast as the Doctor I decided to give up the place I was renting in London?"
"Is that why there's so much junk in your flat?" Alex said, shovelling baked beans onto her fork.
"There is not," he protested. "I'll have you know that I downsized my possessions considerably when I moved here. I threw a lot of stuff out, and I stored some things in my parents' loft. Which is a tip, by the way—"
"—must be genetic then," Alex interrupted.
"Which is why I didn't tell you about this before," Matt continued, ignoring her. "I didn't know if my
mum would be able to find it."
"Find what?" Salome asked.
"Aha." Matt grinned, reaching under the table for his backpack. He hauled it into Alex's lap. "Look inside," he commanded.
Knitting her brows, Alex unzipped the main compartment and looked inside. She reached in with both hands and pulled out a spherical object wrapped in several layers of tissue paper. "Matt…" she said, staring at it as she unwrapped it carefully. She knew what it was, he could tell, but she wouldn't let herself believe it until she actually saw… there.
"Oh my God," she breathed, lifting the Sicilian snow globe out of the paper. "You've kept it all this time?"
"All this time," he confirmed. "To remember you by, you know. But I'd like you to have it back, now. To remember me, while you're away."
Alex laughed then. "Oh, honey. I'm never, ever going to forget you." She paused. "But you'd better phone, and e-mail, and skype, just in case."
So he did.
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