As requested by a close friend, I received inspiration to write this little story. It's pretty badly written as I haven't had time to edit it so please bear with me, and if you would like to beta this story and have msn! I say that again, because its very hard to talk to my other beta's that don't have this particular chat program. So yes, if you want to beta this, send me a note.

(Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, it would be cool if I did because then Haruka and Michiru wouldn't be stupid cousins in the dubbed version.)

Have fun!

----

I Put A Spell On You

Chapter 1

It's never fair you know, me Haruka Tenoh, Sailor Uranus, famous racer and current couch occupant. I swear if I had a dollar for every time I was banished to this couch with an assortment of flying hairbrushes, lipsticks and general apparel, well… I'd be a very rich little girl indeed, sadly the only thing I receive that does me any good is the small pity hugs my daughter grants me.

-- Previously that day…. --

"Haruka-papa? I don't think Michiru-mama will appreciate you taking work off to go to the track," Hotaru's worried voice called out from the seat next to me.

"Well then she doesn't need to know does she!"

"But…"

"Hotaru, honey, when you grow up you'll understand that when adults get into fights, they sort it out in a very mature manner. Like taking a day off hard work to relax and relieve all that fighting stress."

"So by telling Setsuna-mama that the house was on fire when she woke up causing her to panic and run out of her room to greet the inners half naked you sorted it out?"

"Well… no…"

"And when you ordered all those undressed women to 'dance' at Michiru-mama's parents anniversary, Did that sort it out?"

"Hey! Ok you know what Hotaru, I think we should drive in silence from now on." I muttered grabbing the bridge of my nose and squeezing to lull back the headache.

"Ok Haruka-papa whatever you say…"

"Thank you."

"Haruka-papa?"

"Yes?"

"You missed the turn off for my school five minutes ago."

"Shit."

-- Present time --

It's really cold out here, seriously it's freezing. Maybe I can sneak into Setsuna's room and cuddle up to her… Yes! What a dazzling plan, oh Haruka where do you create these things. Lifting myself off the hard couch I crept upstairs to meet the door of one time guardian, grinning like a maniac I slowly turned the knob to creep in.

"Damn its dark," I whispered tip toeing over to the slightly illuminated bed. I could just make out a large lump in the middle.

"Oh Setiepoo? I was really cold out there so I'm going to room with you tonight… If that's ok and you promise not to send me to ancient Greece again then don't reply." I whispered as softly as I could. Leaning over the warm bed I crawled across the blankets before snuggling under and latching onto the large lump.

"Mph… baby let go its too hot." The voice of the blankets said, my eyes widened and my jaw dropped. Shit! Who the hell is under there, and if they're hot why are they under so many goddamned blankets!

"Haruka?" The voice said, I looked up and let out a loud yelp.

"Rei!" I screeched jumping back to fall off the bed and land on something quite soft. Rolling off the soft now moving object I clutched my bottom and cringed further. Whimpering I stood and began to piece together what the hell was going on.

"Oh crap," The voice on the floor said, Setsuna? Oh man, I'm going to have such a headache in the morning.

"Setiepoo darling, may I ask why the Senshi of Mars is lying in your bed?" I implored hands crossing over my chest and my foot tapping the cold floor.

"Why are you in my room?" Setsuna replied coolly. This is why I try to avoid fights with Setsuna, it normally leads to a gross amount of rock solid emotional walls and scary glares.

"I was cold… Michi kicked me out again." I said defeated hanging my head in shame. I looked up to hear giggling from the bed so I shot Rei my best death glare.

"What did I tell you about coming in here uninvited?" Setsuna asked as sweetly as the supreme Senshi of Time can get.

"That I should never come in here without being previously asked as you might be extremely busy with other matters and even the slightest disruption to your work might cause the time continuum to collapse and everyone to promptly die a burning death." I recited with as much prowess as a dead fish could muster. I looked up and grinned sheepishly, "So inviting innocent cute girls to your bed at night is work huh?" I added.

"Out!"

"But…"

"OUT!"

"Fine…" I grumbled walking out of the room, not before giving Rei a knowing wink and a growl. This was met by an artillery of pillows and blankets being projected at my head. I should give up, go and lie on the cold mean couch for the whole night and not disturb anyone. Yeah, right.

What did I do today that was so bad anyway? Ok so I forgot to take my communicator to the track, and when the Youma showed up in the mall everyone thought I had been kidnapped. Oh and then when I finally did return home to find a crying Hotaru and Michiru I might have laughed a little bit and told them they shouldn't have worried. But that was hardly worth sending me out to this bloody death bed, I bet the floor's more comfortable than this. Not that I want to test that theory.

Why! Why me? Michiru should love me enough to not banish me out to this desolate wasteland, I should be in our warm bed snuggling up to her and hiding my face in her peach scented hair.

Wait a minute, why don't I just go sneak in now? It's three am Michi wont be awake enough to send me out again! And even if she was, how could she resist my utter charm and grace. Lifting my body off the couch again with new vigour and trust in the plan I carefully crept up the stairs again but this time stopping at our room. I gulped and quickly opened the door before turning to close it behind me.

"Michi darling, I'm back and I'm really sorry about before but its really cold down there and since I love you and all I'm sure you'll let me stay here..." I whispered praying she wouldn't stir or throw something. I listened to the cold silence before stepping over clothes and random items to reach our plush bed, crawling over the top I felt for the usual curvy lump. Aha! A leg! Grinning devilishly I crept more up the bed to find the peach scented haven that I missed so terribly.

I crawled under the warm blankets and pulled my little aqua goddess closer.

In the Morning

"HARUKA TENOH! If you don't get out of this bed this instant you'll be on the couch for the rest of your life!" A voice wailed waking me up from my deep sleep.

"Huh?" I said opening my eyes to a fuming Sailor Neptune.

"Deep submerge!" Michiru called somehow summoning a gross amount of water to hit me not only soaking me to the bone but pushing me off the now dripping bed.

"Michiiiii," I wailed pouting and giving her my best puppy dog look.

"Don't Michi me! Tenoh, did you ever think for one second that yesterday we thought you were kidnapped, you might have been already killed. Do you know what its like to think that your soulmate has been taken away from you, six hours Haruka… I lost you for six hours." With that she turned away from me, I took the hint and stood up to leave.

Walking out of the room I looked back to see her shoulders start to hunch and the body wrecking tear attack to begin again.

"I love you Michiru, you need space right now, and so do I, don't look for me." I spat, many curses began to roll off my tongue as I stormed down the stairs, picking up my keys from the table and a large trench coat I sped out of the house and jumped on my motorbike.

Where to go where to go… where the hell do I have left? I just walked out on my wife my crazy 'sister' and my only child. What am I talking about, me the great Haruka Tenoh renowned for being the best racer and the biggest flirt. I can stay wherever I want, I can go wherever I please. I revved the bike as I waited for the next light to go green, turning to my side a large grin appeared on my face as Rei pulled up next to me in her little bright red convertible.

"You can't beat me, red makes everything go faster." She called pulling her sunglasses off her eyes.

"You can't beat me, I'm the wind." As I yelled that and shot her a dashing smile the green light suddenly came into my vision and we both sped off. I watched as Rei began to take the lead, but I wasn't giving up just yet, I willed my bike to go faster as I felt the cool wind whip around my neck. I turned to see myself bypassing her and let out a chuckle. Only to be silenced by the loud siren of a police car, I slowed down quickly and pulled over cursing my bad luck.

"Shit." I whispered pulling my helmet off.

The Police car pulled up behind me and I listened to the sound of the door being opened and shut and the loud clinking of boots. Yes! It's a woman, come on Tenoh time to work out the charm.

"Why hello there officer, how may I help you?" I said flashing my dazzling smile. The officer was young, I'd guess she'd be around twenty-four or twenty-five.

"Well, you were doing about a hundred and twenty in a sixty zone." She said chewing quite viciously on her gum. I feigned confusion, my brows knitted together and I scratched my chin.

"I'm so very sorry, you see I'm Haruka Tenoh. And I'm normally on the track, I must have gotten caught up in this beautiful weather. Beautiful weather for a beautiful woman like yourself." I purred trying to keep a straight face. This woman was definitely not beautiful, average yes, but nothing compared to my Michiru.

"Really?" She asked taking the bait.

"Really." I replied grinning yet again looking up to meet her dark blue eyes. A scarlet blush crept over the woman's features and I could only wink.

"Maybe we could get together sometime?" I asked running my spare hand through my hair. Please take the bait, no more traffic violations for this little Senshi.

"Yeah sure," She said, smiling shyly she wrote something down on a piece of paper and handed it to me. I glanced at her number and grinned before leaning up to kiss her hand.

"Until we meet again fine lady," I said before putting my helmet back on and going down the highway. Score one for Tenoh! Oooh I got it going on! Now where is that pesky Rei, making a hard right I began to make my way to the shrine.

Upon arrival I realised three things, one: That Rei was sleeping with Setsuna, two: I still hadn't had breakfast and three: The wind seemed to have partially dried me off. This was becoming a very, very bad day. I pulled my bike up to the bottom of the steps and got off, walking up to the shrine I stopped to see Rei sitting in the tree.

"Not fire reading today?" I called out, she grinned and leapt down landing just like a cat would.

"Not when I could wait for you to come, did you get a ticket?"

"Would the great Haruka Tenoh get a measly ticket?"

"Flirt,"

"Prude."

"Couch dweller."

"Setsuna rapist."

"I'll have you know that it had her complete consent." Rei said proudly her smug grin tugging at her lips.

"Too much information," I muttered shaking my head. Rei put on a fake gasp before her face went serious again. "Michiru was crying after you left again." I nodded. "Setsuna and Hotaru were trying to comfort her… So I decided I'd go after you, you need comfort too." She said the last part almost quietly enough that I didn't hear it. I stepped forward and gave Rei the best hug I could muster.

"I do," I said, we broke apart and Rei grinned at me.

"Never mention this again?"

"Never."

We broke into a fit of laughter which was cut short as a very distinct wailing began at the bottom of the steps.

"But Mina! You said I could have the last tootsie roll, don't be soo mean! You're just like Rei." Usagi whined. Rei and I exchanged knowing grins as we quickly jumped into the tree completely concealed from the world. We watched as they reached the top of the stairs and began to walk under the tree.

"YARR!" Rei and I screamed jumping off the branch to dive bomb the four unsuspecting girls. Ami, Minako and Rei all let out a high pitched squeal, Makoto just stood there and held me in her arms.

"Nice of you to drop by Haruka," She said, I grinned. Even if the other Senshi are total girls, at least I had good ole' Makoto.

"Thank you for catching me my lovely knight," I purred batting my eyelashes, Makoto just grinned and began to carry me bridal style towards the shrine. In the distance I listened to the various banter between Usagi, Rei and Minako.

"So what brings you here, sent to the couch again?" Makoto asked me quirking an eyebrow. I grunted in response and just pouted.

"Nobody loves me any more Makoto, its like I'm the butt of every joke." I said over dramatically placing my hand to my forehead. Makoto put me down as we touched the hard floors of the shrine.

"So why are you guys all here?" I asked gently brushing the non-existent dust off my shoulders.

"We have a meeting today remember?"

"Shit."

"Fight that bad?"

"Worse."

Makoto gulped and I just sighed, the girls grew closer with evil grins on their faces. I looked at Makoto in confusion before being leapt upon and pinned down by all five of them.

"We're here to take you away Sailor Uranus!" They all said grinning their evil grins.

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"We're all going…. BOY HUNTING!" They all cheered, well except Rei who just snickered. I was pulled up and quickly escorted back down the steps and onto the main street.

-- Back at the Outer's house --

Setsuna smiled grimly as she looked down at the puffy eyed tear stained woman on her lap, after several hours of reassuring Michiru that the world wasn't going to end. And even more hours of assurance that she wasn't too harsh on Haruka the poor woman had finally gone to sleep.

"Is she okay now Setsuna-mama?" Hotaru asked her sad eyes looking at her two mamas. Setsuna nodded and pulled the girl closer gently kissing her forehead.

"Michiru-mama just had a bad night, she'll be ok later…" Setsuna said, Hotaru lit up and joined the two on the couch. Leaning on Setsuna's other side she quickly joined her mama in a deep sleep. Setsuna's stoic gaze turned into one of worry as she looked at the two girls in her arms.

"Come back soon Ruka," She whispered before nodding her head into a dull sleep.

-- At the Café --

I can't believe I'm stuck here, with these idiots drooling over these 'men'. I mean, look at them, these guys wouldn't last a second in a real fight, and I have more charm in one of my fingers than their entire body.

Getting another sneaky grin from Rei I began to think light of this situation. A rather smug looking guy began prowling up the street grinning at girls left right and centre.

"Hey there hot shot!" I called grinning ear to ear. The guy looked at me with utter confusion.

"Why don't you come over here and work your magic, ooh boy you're making me all hot and steamy! Come here and give me a kiss why don't ya!" I called, the man obviously taking me for another guy suddenly panicked and ran down the street.

"Aww you big meanie, that one was cute!" Usagi pouted sniffling at the now non-existent chance of getting that guy's number.

"Yeah right." I said rolling my eyes.

----

And so ends chapter one, so yes. Yet again, I have left my many unfinished stories to write a new one. And I am very sorry, but I just got this burst of inspiration and I had to write it down.

Yes this story is actually supposed to be amusing, yes I realise this chapter wasn't in the slightest. I apologise and hope the next will be better.