Here we have chapter two, its good I think…. I haven't had time to edit so don't get cranky at me about bad grammar et cetera.

(Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, if I did as I said Michi and Ruka would have been lovers in the dubbed version.)

I Put A Spell On You

Chapter 2

It was cold in the shrine, after various cat calling, wolf whistling and general flirting between me and many random men on the side of the street the girls decided that it was time to head back. Rei extremely impressed with my wonderful display of utter feminism bought me a lolly pop and a promise of dinner. Although, as per usual I'll probably end up paying.

You know sometimes I wonder things, like why am I here, why is there life but never in my entire life have I wondered why women have such a fascination about breast size comparing till now. And that's a lot coming from me.

"No way Minako! Yours are tiny compared to mine," Usagi yelled glaring at the grinning blonde.

"Nuh uh,"

"Yah huh."

"Nuh uh!"

"Yah huh!"

"Shutup!" Ami yelled quickly jumping to her feet with her fists raised, everyone gasped. Well except me, because I had total faith in random outbursts of silent girls, I mean I do live with three.

"Sorry Ami," Usagi and Minako said in unison. Usagi quickly went back to patting herself down and pulling at her top to make some illusion of size. I grinned, Rei started to chuckle so she quickly leant over.

"You know, you'd think that we'd be enjoying this but I've seen bigger breasts on a sparrow." She whispered into my ear, I laughed and nodded rapidly.

"Usagi, Minako, I hate to say this. But I personally have bigger breasts than both of you." I said giving all the now shocked girls my signature wink.

"No way!" Everyone said in disbelief, I could only nod.

"Prove it!" They yelled, I just grinned even wider before opening the trench coat and quickly undoing my shirt's buttons and sticking my chest out. There was a long silence with many gasps, I chuckled before doing back up my shirt.

"Damn!" Exclaimed Rei giving me a thumbs up, I just winked and nodded my head.

"No way,"

"That's so unfair,"

"How come we didn't notice before?"

"Why can't mine be like thaaaatt!" Usagi wailed pounding her fists on the floor. Yet again, I'm fascinated on how easy it is to astound these girls. Astound… scare… aggravate… The list goes on, they say these are the famous Sailor Senshi that protect our streets? Lets pray a youma doesn't show up and flash them before attacking.

"Setsuna has bigger breasts than Haruka," Rei proudly announced, everyone raised an eyebrow except me, I just nodded with a false sad smile.

"Really?"

"Wow,"

Rei and I nodded yet again before I felt a buzz from my pocket, reaching inside I brought out my communicator and greeted Setsuna on the other side.

"Morning Ms. Big breasts!" I greeted grinning like a maniac.

"Have you been speaking to Rei?" Setsuna queried giving me yet again a deadpan expression. Rei leant over me and winked into the screen which I swear made the Senshi of Time blush.

"Anyway, I'm here to report that perhaps you should pay a visit here. It's getting pretty hectic," Setsuna said sighing briefly.

"How hectic?"

"She's in the kitchen baking cookies,"

"How is that bad?"

"She started hours ago, our house stinks and the table is full to the brim with 'Mrs Take's shake and bake cookies.'" Setsuna muttered shaking her head in disgust. I pulled at my collar and cringed, its time for the mighty Haruka Tenoh to win back her woman. And she knows just how…

"Sooo how are you getting your foot out of the shit this time Ruka?" Rei said leaning back from the fire. The girls had left an hour ago and I was still busy plotting and writing down my ingenious plan.

"Well, I'm going to give Michiru five reasons why I love her and to show her how much I care." I stated proudly sticking my chest out.

"That's it?" Rei asked unimpressed.

"Well five reasons in gifts," I added a bit too sheepishly. Rei just laughed and sat down next to me snatching the list, after a few nods of approval and a kiss on the cheek we were off heading downtown to get us some gifts!

"Well, the first thing I'll send is a rose, and I'll have a note saying 'Dearest Michiru, this is for you because every time you look at roses they sigh with envy of your everlasting beauty.' I ran a hand through my hair and looked at Rei, she was holding her throat and gagging.

"Oh god! That must be the cheesiest crap I've heard in my entire life!" She exclaimed now laughing so hard that she could barely stand still. I was not impressed, it didn't matter anyway. We went to the shop and ordered a single red rose with the note and got it sent straight away to our house.

"Next on the list! Away we go!"

--- Back at the house ---

"Michiru! Look what's at the door for you." Setsuna said smiling, shaking her head at Haruka's absolute idiocy she waited for the Senshi to take her hands away from the dough pile bigger than her head.

"Is it my Ruka?" She said walking closer, catching sight of the rose she sped up and quickly read the note. "She's so precious, aww!"

"Apparently there's going to be four more gifts," Setsuna said raising an eyebrow.

"I hope one of them is her," Michiru swooned with a lovesick puppy expression. Setsuna quickly muffled her gagging and just shook her head.

"Shouldn't you be baking?"

"Yes!"

--- The Jewellery shop ---

We began to browse the various necklaces, bracelets and rings in the small shop. I of course noticed that the girl behind the counter had a steady eye on Rei, well it wasn't that steady as she kept looking her up and down. After various comments and small nudges I received a wonderful slap on my butt and further looks to either of us were scarce.

"So what are you ladies looking for?"

"Something that speaks a thousand words," I poetically said leaning across the counter.

"A diamond perhaps?" The woman replied gazing across my shoulder to see a very entranced Rei.

"Perhaps, do you have any nice emerald and diamond combinations?" I asked feeling my pocket for the vast wad of cash I had taken out earlier. There were some perks to being Japan's number one racer.

"I think I have just what you're looking for," She said rather mysteriously, I just nodded and waited for her to come back from the room she shuffled off to.

"Damn, this is going to cost a lot." Rei said pursing her lips together tightly. I just shrugged and nodded letting out a small sigh. The woman came back and opened a small box with the most beautiful ring I've ever seen. Rei and I both gasped, before reaching out to inspect it closer. On a premium silver chain stood two diamonds and a large emerald, it was arranged in a trinity and was absolutely breathtaking.

"We'll buy it!" I exclaimed my face lighting up with joy.

"Now or delivered?" The woman said now passing me the price tag which almost made me faint.

"Delivered please," I croaked out, Rei just slapped her forehead and whispered 'told you so'. After that was done we set out on our next wonderful gift idea.

"So what's next Romeo?"

"Err well I didn't think that far,"

"How about something that doesn't cost a small car."

"Err yeah good idea, we need more 'from the heart gifts'…." I muttered scratching my chin in deep thought. From the heart… from the heart… Perhaps a puppy? No, Setsuna would chuck a fit and then send me to the middle ages.

"Aha! I've got it," Grinning like a Cheshire cat I quickly grabbed Rei's arm and began to pull her off to our next destination. The toy shop.

---- Home again ---

Setsuna grimaced as another package appeared at the door with another small note.

"Because my love for you has no limits or bounds." Setsuna read out loud, wincing she began to call Michiru from the kitchen.

"God Haruka, you better not have broke the bank on this one." Setsuna muttered, Michiru's hurried footsteps got closer and Setsuna quickly passed her the small bag. Reaching inside Michiru pulled out the small box and opened it, tears began to well up and pour down her cheeks.

"Oh Ruka," She whispered sniffling into Setsuna's awaiting arms. Smiling faintly Setsuna began to rub Michiru's back as she opened the floodgates yet again.

--- At Timmy's Toy World ---

"So what's this one about?" Rei asked as Haruka began running through the aisles like a madwoman.

"Well… I'm getting two from here, firstly a toy planet because 'for her I'd get the world' and the biggest cuddliest teddy bear in the shop because well… She loves animals," I explained quickly shooting Rei a proud smile.

"Animals huh? Well, that makes sense," Rei said dodging a flying fluff ball. There it was, I quickly sped up to reach the giant panda bear that reached up and above my head. It was the softest thing I'd ever felt, oh Haruka, you're going be getting sooo much love after this. After quickly paying the shop assistant and getting her number we left the shop.

"Perhaps you shouldn't have flirted so ruthlessly with that poor woman." Rei sniped making a small 'tsk tsk' noise with her mouth.

"Yeah well, I did get that bear half price." I retorted grinning as we began on the prowl for the next gift.

"So are they arriving separately?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"What's next?"

"Oh my darling Rei, I'd hope by now you would know that for Haruka Tenoh. Anything could be next!" I proudly said leaping up onto a nearby bin and saluting the sky. Well… The ceiling of the shopping centre at least.

"Where are we going then Ms. The sky is the limit Tenoh?" Rei asked laughing slightly as I tripped and landed face first into the hem of some woman's skirt causing it to come down at the back giving Rei a lovely flash.

"Sorry!" I said to the woman before leaping up and pulling Rei down the stairs. We finally found our destination not a minute to soon. The fruit shop, browsing through the isles with an extremely confused Miko I finally found the biggest, juciest apple in the entire shop.

"Oh no, don't say it Haruka. I'll puke, I swear I will vomit all over you!" Rei warned fear clouding her eyes.

"An apple for my love, for she is the apple of my eye." I proudly announced causing many people to take their children and move them away. Looking around I noticed Rei seemed to have gone, until I noticed her walking towards me with something concealed behind her back.

"For the cheesiest woman in the world," She said pulling from her back a small box of crackers.

"Real funny Rei, now hurry up we have to get back to receive gross amounts of love! I mean… go back to beg for forgiveness…eh heh heh…" I said warily. This was met by a smack and a small giggle, this was it, we were off after an entire day of gruesome adventures and terrifying feats!

--- Back at the ole' Outers house –

Setsuna stood at the door as a small package appeared yet again, chuckling she picked it up and beckoned Michiru in who quickly appeared in the door way with Hotaru in tow.

"For you madam," Setsuna said mock bowing at Michiru. Hotaru giggled as Michiru began to unwrap the gift.

"Because for you I'd get the world," she read aloud, looking inside the box she pulled out a small model of Neptune. Michiru looked up broadly smiling as there was a knock at the door, opening it a greasy looking man stood waiting with one of the biggest boxes she'd ever seen.

"Oh crap," Setsuna whispered, taking Hotaru's hand she began to walk towards the box chewing viciously on her bottom lip. Michiru quickly signed for the package and ran forward pushing and pulling all the bright green wrapping off. Inside she noticed there was a small 'pull' tab, so giving it a mighty yank the front opened up to reveal the giant teddy inside.

"Because even it isn't as cuddly as you." Michiru announced dropping the small paper to beckon Hotaru to come over and help her give the bear the biggest hug in the world.

--- A few blocks away ---

This is it, by the time I get home she will be putty in my hands, Haruka Tenoh, you've done it again. Revving the bike some more I sped down the road with a very ill feeling Rei gripping my waist tighter than a elastic band on an egg. We pulled up to the house to see a box's package near the door and lots of lights on inside. Getting off the bike Rei and I approached the door, quickly pulling a comb out of my pocket I gave myself a couple more brushes through before rapping softly on the door. The door swung open a second later and before I knew it I was on the ground with a very teary Michiru on top of me sobbing uncontrollably.

"Hey Michi, I missed you." I whispered holding her tightly, this was met by a loud grunt and more sobbing.

"I love you," She managed to get out between sobs, I grinned and gave Rei the thumbs up. Setsuna who had quite sneakily made her way over to Rei had slipped her arm around the young miko and had placed her hand on Hotaru's shoulder.

"I love you too," I whispered into her ear, giving Setsuna one last wink I helped Michiru stand up and we all walked into the house.

This must be the best well planned plan that's gone right in my entire life, well actually its probably the first planned plan to go right… Err, maybe I should just stop thinking at all, yeah that would be wise.

"Haruka-papa! You have to come see this, a giant panda bear came here in a big box and he's really cute and Setsuna-mama said that he was your replacement but I didn't believe her." Hotaru piped in grabbing my hand, she gave my arm a bit of a tug and I bent over as she indicated she wanted to whisper something. "Between you and me Haruka-papa, I think Setsuna-mama's gone a bit crazy ever since Sailor Mars started coming over at night."

I grinned as Hotaru placed her finger across her lips to imitate them being zipped up.

"Not a word I shall speak, but between you and me, how long has that naughty Sailor Mars been coming here at night for?" I said glancing at Setsuna and Rei who were mildly amused at the situation.

"Almost every night for the past three months Haruka-papa," Hotaru said smiling innocently at Setsuna who was now slowly backing away.

"WHAT!" I yelled glaring at the now grimacing Miko and Time Gates Guardian.

"She comes at night and makes lots of noise on the stairs and then goes into Setsuna-mama's room and makes even more, I think they've been practicing their attacks on each other." Hotaru said with a fearful expression on her face. Michiru giggled and bent down to be eye to eye with her daughter.

"And this is why I love you more than anything else in the world," Michiru whispered placing a kiss on her forehead before standing back up. I pouted so I received a complimentary kiss on the cheek, Setsuna was the first to clear her throat and point to the dinner table which was currently flooded with a gross amount of cookies.

"Oh…" Michiru said looking down in shame.

"Don't worry Michi, this is nothing Usagi and Minako can't fix." I said patting my little sea goddess's head. This got a little smack over the head by Setsuna and a nod from Rei.

"So how about we all go out to dinner on me?" I boldly announced giving everyone my million dollar smile.

"Good plan,"

"Indeed that sounds fair,"

"My Ruka's so generous,"

"Yeay!" Cheered a very excited Hotaru, before we knew it she had sprinted to put on her coat and was waiting at the door.

"Italian?" I asked, this was met by nods so off we went out of the house and into Michiru's Mercedes. With me at the wheel, Michi next to me and the three musketeers in the back we were off in a flash. I shoved a cd into the cd player and a very familiar violin began to play throughout the cow. (1)

"Wow this must be the best violin playing that I've ever heard!" I exclaimed grinning at the frowning Michiru.

"How the hell did you get that," She muttered reaching to turn it off, I quickly ushered her hands away and turned it up.

"Hotaru honey, I want you to be my little warrior tonight ok? I want you to make sure that that naughty Senshi of Fire over there doesn't lay a finger on your dear Setsuna-mama." I said, this was met by a gentle tug on the back of my hair by Rei and the smallest whisper of "I hope you like the middle ages during the plague…."

"Oh god no! Forget I said anything honey…" I pulled the car into a spot outside and we all got out and walked into the resturant. A middle aged man came up to us and ushered us into our seats where we began to browse the menus.

"Oh by the way Michi, here's your last gift." I reached into my pocket and pulled out the apple, Michiru raised an eyebrow while Setsuna just rolled her eyes.

"Because you're the apple of my eye," I said, I leant over and planted a kiss one her lips before pulling back and grinning.

"Hey there hottie!" A voice from behind called, I turned around and was met by a very happy looking police officer. Oh god no, oh of all the places I could have chosen to go for food, why oh why did I choose here.

"Err… hi," I said, Michiru's hand suddenly appeared on my leg under the tablecloth.

"Hey so how about that date you promised me sometime cutie?" She said before winking and walking away hips swaying faster than the slap that I knew was coming.

Michiru narrowed her eyes, gritted her teeth and leant right up to my ear. Oh please goddess of the moon! Take pity on this poor racer, please oh please don't let her say those words!

"Haruka Tenoh, you're on the couch for the rest of your life."

"Shit."

-----

Another chapter down, heh I liked writing this one. Even though it was sooo cheesy and fluffy, I thought it was kinda cute.

Wow, I was looking at these 'story stats' and you wouldn't believe how many people read this story. And didn't review, lolll ah well. Let me just tell those people that don't review one thing, review please. I'd bat my eyelashes at you but as you can see sometimes flirting to get your way can backfire horribly!

See my stories actually have morals! Heh,

Tune in for the next update!

(1) If you found the other number one in the story you can see i wrote " a very familiar violin began to play throughout the cow." I actually uploaded it like that and well i decided that this is supposed to be a comedy so i just left it. If you haven't already realised it, it's supposed to be car not cow. Hope it gave someone a laugh, ;)