Chapter three: Scenes from a hat
End of commercial break….
The camera turns to Yusuke's desk and there is something missing! Yusuke!
Everyone wonders where the spirit detective went off too. Kuwabara got up from his seat and walked over to the desk. He smiled and he sat down in Yusuke's desk. He picked up the microphone.
Kurama couldn't believe what he was doing. ' He is so going to get it when Yusuke gets back… and knowing Kuwabara he was going to do some extremely stupid.'
Kuwabara picked up the microphone. " Hello and welcome back to whose line is it anyway… the show we everything is made up and the points don't matter…. Just like it doesn't matters who hosts this show. I'm the new host… Kazuma Kuwabara…."
" Hey! Baka! Get out of my chair… this is my show… and your not the host." Yusuke said as he came into view.
" Well uh.. Urameshi… this is… to whose line is it anyway… the show we everything is made up and the points don't matter…. Just like it doesn't matters who hosts this show."
" I'm only going to say this one more time…. Get out of my fucking chair!"
Kuwabara quickly got out of his Yusuke's chair and he ran behind Kurama. " Save me…"
Kurama and Hiei look behind them and there was Kuwabara, peeing in his pants in fear. " Your such and idiot! It amazes me how every time you do something you prove that fact." Hiei said.
" Watch it Shrimp! Don't make me come over there and beat you up!" Kuwabara shouted.
" Just sit down and SHUT UP!" Hiei yelled.
Kuwabara did as he was told. Kurama shook his head and muttered, " Why does this always seem to happen to me?"
" What was that Fox…"
" I didn't say anything of importance Hiei."
" Hn."
Botan looks over at Yusuke. " So where were you?"
" If you guys really wanted to know… I went to the guys in charge and asked them if I accidentally beat the crap out of you all in this round if I would still get paid…"
" You'd hurt me…." Botan said nervously.
" If you pissed me off hell yeah!"
" I have a wager that we are about to play… Scenes from a hat." Kurama said.
" Yeah that's so true." Yusuke pulled out a patriotic hat.
Everyone had a smile on their faces. He didn't enjoy this game at all and he knew they did. Yusuke looked at the hat and then at the players. " Alright this round we are going to be playing scenes from a hat. Before the show we ask our audience to write down some suggestions for our performers to act out… we pick the good ones and we put them in this hat… and I have absolutely have no say what goes on… which sucks. Because after the show… they are going to hear it from me."
Kuwabara and Botan were on the on left side of the 'stage' and Kurama and Hiei were on the right side. Yusuke picks though the yellow notes from the hat. He picks one up. " Alright, first one…" He cringes. ' Oh yeah sure… it already starts! Oh they are all going to get it from me.' " What does Yusuke do when he's not on a case."
Kuwabara and Botan come forward. " Hey Kayko, you wanna go out of a date with me?" Kuwabara asked, " Oh hey nice skirt."
" Yusuke you jerk!" SLAP Botan hits Kuwabara hard.
buzz
Kurama mentions to Kuwabara to come forward. " Hey Kuwabara… you in the mood for a beating?"
" No."
" Well two bad… here's an knuckle sandwich." bang Kurama throws a fake punch.
Kuwabara feel to the floor.
" Ah that felt good."
buzz
Kuwabara comes up again. He picks up a fake remote. " Oh come on! I can beat that guy faster then you, you old hag!"
buzz
" Alright I gotta admit, that was my favorite so far."
" Well that's what you do…."
" Alright next one, people Yusuke would love to kill."
The whole gang stands on the stage.
buzz
Yusuke lets out a small laugh. " Nah… not all you guys…"
Hiei comes forward. He starts talking like Genkai. " Does it hurt Slacker!"
Buzz" Oh yes, Grandma is on my top list."
Kuwabara walked forward. " Yusuke Urameshi… you got twenty reports to do by the end of the day! And if I don't get them… you will get an F for this semester."
buzz " I think that about covers who I hate most of the time… the teachers, and Grandma…. Nice job guys. Alright lets see what's next."
Yusuke puts his hand in the hat again. " Oh boy… things you thought you would never see Yusuke doing."
Kuwabara and Botan came forward. They are walking along. " You know Kayko…. I wanted to tell you something…."
" Oh and what's that?"
" I love you Kayko…."
Yusuke cringes. buzz.
Kurama calls Kuwabara next to him and Hiei. They are stilling down on the stairs. " Uh… Yusuke… how do you get this answer?" Kuawabara asked.
Kurama pretending to be Yusuke looks at the pretend book. " Well its quite easy Kuwabara… you take the numbers and put them in the equation… and then you add… and then divide."
" Ah thanks man…."
" Uh I got a question?" Hiei said.
" Yes Hiei… what can I do for you?"
" How did the Japanese loss the world war?"
" Well…. The American fleet came and sunk all their ships…"
buzz " Yeah that's is something that I would never do… I'd be the one asking you Kurama."
" That is the point after all." Kurama responded.
" Ooo… I got one." Botan says. She drags Kuwabara to the stage. " So… Kuwabara what do you want to do today?"
" Your asking me? Well that's something new… uh… lets go beat up some demon ass!"
" That's so fuc….. er… not good."
" Uh… Yusuke, you alright? Your not your acting right, where's the language?"
" I gave it up for lent!"
buzz " Oh that will be the day Botan… Hell, on wait better yet, the fucking demon world will freeze over…and the ass holes won't be causing any more trouble… no offence, Hiei, Kurama."
" None taken." Kurama replies.
" If you meant that, I would have cut out your voice box." Hiei said.
Kuwabara leans over to Botan. " Remind me not to make Hiei that mad…"
Yusuke looks at the clock. " Damn…. A few more minutes… and I was really enjoying this game too…. Oh well, one last one." He picks up the last thing of yellow paper. " If Yusuke was fired… what other jobs would he have?" ' Oh please, like I would have another job.'
Botan came forward with a microphone. " Hello, all you ladies and gentlemen, and everything in between… I'm your announcer… and I have big news… you have another announcer, I think you all heard of him before, lets here it for YUSUKE URAMESHI!"
Kuwabara came forth pretending to be Yusuke. He had a microphone in his hand too. " Alright all your scumbags… I want some good fights you here me, and if I don't I'll come out of retirement and beat the shit out of ya! Good… now let the dark tournament begin!"
buzz " Alright, yeah that would be a cool job… but not as exciting as Spirit detective."
Kurama, Hiei and Kuwabara came forward. Kuwabara pretended he was old.
Kurama and Hiei were normal.
" Uh Sensei… what will we be taught today…" Kurama asked.
" Will we learn some cool demon ass kicking attacks?"
Old sounding voice " Well… you punks are going to play some video games."
Kurama and Hiei fall over anime style. Botan comes forward. old sounding voice " cough you…. cough slacker… cough don't…. cough get… cough it…. cough "
" Shut it old lady… your one thousand years older then me… but your still that old hag that you always were."
" cough, cough, cough And your still the same…. cough slacker/ puck you use to be! And you think you can take over my job as sensei! I doubt it!"
" Oh yeah… alright hag… I'll race you! Who ever gets to the fucking tree first wins!"
" Your on slacker!"
" On your mark…"
" Get set…"
" GO!"
The two of them run off… Kurama and Hiei look at each other. " I still say they are both a bunch of old geezers…." Hiei said.
" Agreed…. They are both the same… so shall we?"
buzz
Everyone comes back to there seats. Yusuke was rather annoyed. " Alright, well if I ever get as bad as that fossil of an old hag…. Please, one of you… no wait, better yet, Kurama, make me planet food!" cough " Anyway, one million points to you all."
" Oh yay! I'm swimming in points here!" Kuwabara said.
" I'm not going to spend the next 500 years with him around." Hiei said, " Fox… if he does live that long… use him as plant food… I rather have an old detective."
" Oh thanks a lot Hiei!" Kuwabara said.
Yusuke laughed. " Alright, we will be back at the end of this commercial break."
Commercials….
Hey everyone. What did you think? Alright I don't think that was as funny as the last two chapters. But in any event I hope you enjoyed it.
trunks and goten