Author's Note: I've had some trouble deciding where to take this story, and this chapter was harder to write than the ones before it. So I hope it came out all right. Please review and tell me what you think.
I know I said there would be some Alan and Don in this chapter but I'm afraid it's just Charlie and Jack again (well sort off), but I'm about half way through the next chapter and I promise they're in that one.
Also I raised the rating because there is some strong language at the end, but I'm not to sure about the system so if it's not high enough please tell me.
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"No I can't. I'm sorry Larry. I know I should have called earlier, but the emergency didn't come up till this morning. No everything's fine. I just need a personal day. Thanks, Larry. I owe you one."
Charlie hung up and took a moment to take some deep breaths.
"You could have told him the truth. I don't mind."
Charlie didn't look up. Didn't have to. He had known that Jack had been there for about 5 minutes. This was the first time he had spoken.
"Leave me alone."
Charlie spared one last look at the phone before heading outside again. He had spent the last hour 'rearranging' the dozen or so blackboards in the garage, so that they were all now leaning against the walls, backs turned to Charlie so he couldn't see the numbers. He didn't want to see the numbers. Didn't want to have to think about them. He needed his mind to be clear.
It was only after he started about his task that Jack appeared. He stood watching him from the corner of the room. Moving every now and then so that he was always in Charlie's peripheral vision. Charlie didn't look directly at him. Tried to ignored him. To pretend he wasn't there. Maybe he would just go away again. Why was he even there in the first place?
After his phone call to Larry he went back outside to the garage, knowing full well that Jack would be there when he arrived. Waiting silently for him, like some kind of goddamn angel of death. And there he was, sitting on the lone chair in the room, whistling softly.
Not wanting to give him any attention, Charlie turned his back, looking at the now bare walls. He sighed and put his head in his hands. This really was too much, he thought. He didn't want to encourage Jack. He could tell he was in one of his moods, but he really couldn't take it anymore. He knew Jack wouldn't leave until he was sated.
"What the hell are you doing here, Jack?"
As if suddenly empowered by Charlie's words, Jack sprung to his feet and walked over to him. Grabbing him by the shoulders, he turned Charlie round.
"What the hell am I doing here, Charlie?"
Charlie could tell Jack was making a point. Shrugging off Jack's grip he strode to the other side of the room. Wanting to be far away from of the gaze of...this thing.
"Because I'm going insane." He answered quietly.
"Wrong." Jack smirked. "You are not insane, just momentarily free of your senses. But they'll be back soon enough."
Charlie was looking at the ground refusing to acknowledge the dead man in front of him. Talking to him. It was crazy. He was crazy. He didn't feel crazy but then again he had never been crazy before, so who was he to judge.
"Just go away, all right. I don't want to have to deal with it."
"Yes you do. If you didn't I wouldn't be here." Jack paused for a moment. "I'm here because of that."
Charlie had to raise his head to see what Jack was talking about. He was pointing at Charlie. At the pocket in Charlie's jeans. The pocket where he had put the letter. Unable to read it for the hundredth time, he had stuffed it there before beginning to rid himself of the numbers.
He slowly pulled it out. Holding it out to Jack. If he wanted it so much he could have it.
"Here take it. I don't want it."
Jack didn't move.
"TAKE IT."
But Jack wasn't there anymore. Shocked at the sudden disappearance, he looked around the room, trying to located him. He was gone. Charlie's head hurt. He looked at his watch, it was only 11:30. His dad was out for the day and wouldn't be home for hours. Charlie found himself sitting on the floor without knowing how he had got there. Crossing his legs and closing his eyes, he tried to think.
"Don't think too hard. Your head might explode."
Jack's harsh whisper in Charlie's ear not as much of a surprise as maybe it should have been.
"You're just in my head."
He heard Jack chuckle quietly. "Man, that's got to be the most intelligent thing you've said the whole time I've been here."
To emphasis his point he rapped Charlie on the head with his knuckles. "But then maybe I've always been in your head. Maybe I never really existed. Maybe that letter is a fake you made up. Here give it to me, let me see if it's your hand writing."
Jack attempted to climb over Charlie to get the letter from his right hand. Feeling the sudden pressure he tried to push Jack away.
"Get off."
Jack persisted and Charlie was about to smack him when he suddenly stopped. Checking himself as he realised that he was about to get into a fist fight with a hallucination. Jack stopped too. Settling back down to his previous position. An awkward silence descending upon the room. This time Charlie was the one to speak up.
"Why are you wearing that?" Looking pointedly at the black suit and tie Jack was wearing.
Jack was staring into space, and didn't divert his gaze as he answered Charlie.
"I guess because it's the last thing you saw me in."
It took a moment for Charlie to realised what he was talking about. The memory of that night at the conference flashing in his mind. Right, of course. That night. Seeming to sense Charlie unease, Jack nudged his shoulder gently.
"That was awkward, wasn't it?"
Charlie couldn't help but smile. "I didn't mind."
"Yeah I know. I always knew."
At Jack's last words Charlie turned to face him. "What do you mean?"
"Come on Charlie. I wouldn't be saying this if you didn't already know. You were a door mat to me. I walked all over you. Used you when I needed you, and threw you away when I was done. I was a user..."
"Stop it. That's not true. I don't think that."
Jack laughed. "Of course you do. If you didn't I wouldn't be saying it."
Charlie wanted to argue but he realised Jack had a point. He had a point. But he didn't really think those thing, did he? Jack was his friend. Jack was his...well his soul mate. He liked Jack. He liked him.
"Hey, don't cry." Jack reached up to wipe a tear from Charlie's eye. "If you start crying, then I'm going to start crying. It's okay, you're allowed to feel this way. I was a jerk."
"No, you weren't." Charlie's voice sounded weak and desperate.
"Yes I was. Remember that time when we were 16 and I lost my virginity and I made you sit and listen to all the graphic details even though you begged me to stop. And then later I confessed that I made it all up. And then a year later I did it again and said it was for real."
Charlie nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
"Well I lied that time too." Jack paused for a beat. "See, jerk."
Jack put his arm around Charlie's shoulder, holding him close. "It's okay." His voice was barely more than a whisper. "We were kids. We were friends. And then we grew up. And shit happened. We're not the same people anymore."
"You're not even a person anymore."
Jack laughed at that, before getting serious again. "I was too dependant on you. I made you feel like you were obligated to look after me. That was wrong. And when you tried to care, I screwed you over. And then I went and killed myself. And sent you that damn letter and made my death all about you. That wasn't fair."
Jack stopped and Charlie took a moment to think about What he had said. Was it true? He guessed that there was some truth in it. He loved Jack so much. Loved knowing that he was out there in the world and now that he was gone he felt empty and alone. But there had been times when he had wished that Jack would just get it together. Stop wallowing in self pity and get over it. And as the years went on he started to think of Jack as more of an idea, rather than a real person. But still he would never say those things.
"You don't have to. That's why I'm here." Jack flashed him a wicked smile, and started to get up. "But I'm afraid there is only so much I can do and the last step is all yours."
He turned to stand in front of Charlie, looking down on him.
"I have to go. But before I do, I want you to know something. Jack never blamed you. He loved you and wanted you to know it. In fact it was you that kept him going all these years. But you already know that." He winked. "Now tell me to go away. No wait, tell me to fuck off."
Charlie balked at that, but Jack was insistent.
"Just say it. You have nothing to lose now. Go on, live on the wild side."
Charlie studied his friend closely. "I'm going to miss you. Now fuck off."
Jack was gone. Gone for the second time. And Charlie was at peace, but still alone.