A.N I saw Ice Age 2 yesterday. It was very funny, really cute too. Liked it better then the first, but then, I haven't seen the first one in forever. Anyway, thank you, yet again, to all who review, who sent me virtual muffins and tacos, I am quite grateful to have them. And to people who read without reviewing, or who just scan each chapter lightly, just to see how many ZATR moments there are, uh. . .thanks for your time, dears.

Only three more chapters after this. . . I have mixed feelings 'bout this. . .

Chapter 7- The weak can't relax

Emotion.

What is it really? What's its purpose? To drive someone?

Heh. Drive them crazy.

The only emotions that I've ever been accepting of are hatred anger. . . is pride an emotion? I've never been prone to anything else.

Right? Right?

Damn it, I don't know. I can't remember. I feel weaker then ever. It doesn't even help to train anymore. I know I can destroy anyone I want, physically, I'm strong, but then. . . my mind's so screwed up now. . .

Zim. . .

Why the hell am I thinking of him anyway?

I kick the wall, and then decide to take a walk. Clear my head. Don't think of Zim. DON'T THINK OF ZIM.

Luckily, he's no where in sight as I leave the base.

Joon is though, and he tags along, which I wouldn't mind so much, if I didn't think he was going to ask about what he had walked in on earlier in the combat ring.

We're quiet during our walk down the block, but as soon as we turn the corner, Joon says in a loud voice,

"So what the hell were you doing with Zim before?"

"Training," I mutter.

Joon's quiet again, obviously dissapointed that I didn't get all flustered.

Even though my insides feel like they're flipping over, but not like he'll ever know that.

"Where are we going?" he asks.

Hmm. Didn't think of that. . .

"Ocean," I say, after a moment.

"What's an ocean?"

"You'll like it, don't worry. . ."

And then we're quiet again. For a long time, until we reach the beach.

Joon looks amazed and just slightly confused as he stares at the ocean.

"What's that?" he asks.

"It's water," I say, "But don't touch it, you'll get burned."

Joon nods, and we both find a spot in the sand and sit. Listen to the waves.

After a few minutes of silence, Joon sighs, and I can sense he's about to say something, but I don't want to hear it, so I say,

"You haven't called me 'kid' once since you arrived..."

"Well,"Joon says,"You're shorter then me now. Now it's like you really are a kid, so the joke isn't funny anymore."

"So?" I say. "When you call me 'kid' everything feels. . .normal."

"Well, you have a freaky life, right? You should be fine. . ."

"Joon..."

Geez, why does he suddenly sound bitter?

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"You like Zim, right?" he asks suddenly.

"Wha-? No! Why do you keep-"

"Just friggen admit it! You always have to avoid everything!"

I jump back a little in surprise and blink, then stand up, fists clenched.

"What are you talking about?" I say.

"You heard me!" Joon shouts, standing up and towering over me. "You're always running from something, Tak. Always distracting yourself with something stupid that could get you killed. Act like you're so strong, but you're weak."

Damn it, if only I was still taller then him. . .

I kick him hard enough in the shin so that he falls to his knees, and then I grab him by the collar and bring him close to my face.

"I can kill you," I whisper, "I can."

". . .I know," Joon says, "but that's not the kind of weakness I meant."

And I knew that, I just knew.

"You can't just relax and be happy, can you Tak?"

I don't answer. I drop his collar, and he falls on his face.

"Don't die," I whispered.

Steg's eyes were closed, but he was still breathing. Barely.

"Please don't," and tears came from my eyes.

"God," said a voice from behind me, "Don't tell me the almighty Irken is crying

I looked up and there she was.

"Hey bitch," Ginna said with a smirk.

"You. . ."I whispered. I stood up slowly and said, "You did this. . . you. . ."

"My revenge," Ginna said,"You see, after awhile, I figured having your parents die on you wouldn't affect an unfeeling little bitch like you. . . but you seemed to have a thing for this guy. . ."

Her head jerked in Steg's direction as she made her way toward me, and then suddenly, her heel was on my scalp, and she hissed,

"So how the fuck does it feel to watch the one you love die right in front of you?. . . oh, God, as if an Irken could love. My mistake, bitch."

She dug her heel into my temples, and I couldn't even cry out in pain. I could barely breathe.

Tears were coming from my eyes though. They wouldn't stop.

"I can crush you with my foot, you're so pathetically small

Die, just die. . .

Or just kill me and shut up. . .

"But how about we both act civilized for once? Have a fair duel...without your Irken technology, without my Slaytian blades. . . we fight on our strength alone, to the death. . . see how far that gets you. . . what do you say?"

Somehow, I don't know how, but somehow I managed to vocalize an agreement.

So she removed her boot. I sit up and gasped for air.

That's all I needed.

Ginna seemed ready to fight properly, but I couldn't care less about the duel.

Without even activating my spider legs, I just jumped and kicked Ginna to the ground, took her own blade that she wore on her waist, and held it above her.

I wanted to scream, "I hate you," tell her how much I've always wanted her to die, the horrible, filthy bitch, I wanted to kill her, so, so badly.

I don't remember how I struck her, but I remember looking, and from her forehead blood was gushing out, I had cut it wide open.

In the distance, I barely saw Joon approaching us, but then Ginna screamed,

"Dirty, lying, fucking little Irken!"

and in the next instant, I was thrown off of her, thrown straight against the wall, headfirst.

And then I blacked out.

Heh. Weird. When I wake up, my pillow's a little wet. . . I look around my room groggily, and then I see Mimi's lying at the foot of my bed, just watching me. I wave without really thinking, and then Mimi waves back, and for some reason I find that funny.

I suddenly get the oddest urge to pick her up and give her a hug, I don't know why.

I feel like it would be. . .comforting. . .

But why would I need comfort?

"This is crazy Mimi," I sigh, though I'm not really sure exactly what I'm talking about.

I think I just mean everything.

Suddenly my door slides open, and I instinctively pull my bed sheets up to my chest.

It's only Zim.

"Geez Zim," I say, "couldn't you knock?"

He mumbles a quick, "sorry," then says, in his typical controlling tone,

"Tak, I want to know what you were planning to do to me yesterday during our training."

He could ask me in a less condenscending voice, he doesn't have to make it sound like I was in the wrong. . .

And what does he mean, "What were you planning to do"? He was the one lifting his head, closing his eyes. . . well, I was too. . . where would that have lead to anyway?

My face is hot again, and suddenly I'm very conscience of the fact that my pajamas only consists of a low-cut tee-shirt.

Which has been getting tight on me lately, I think, as I bring the bed sheet to my neck.

"I was planning to beat you Zim," I say, "as always."

He scowls, and is about to retort, when suddenly his expression looks alarmed, and he says,

"What's wrong with your eyes!"

I stare for a moment in confusion, then rub my eyes, and I'm surprised to discover that they're wet.

"Hm," I say thoughtfully, "Guess I was crying."

"Why?" Zim asks. He takes a slight step toward me, and he looks. . . concerned. . .? Heh. Yeah right.

"Don't know," I say. "Maybe I had a bad dream."

Suddenly, my head starts to pound. And then it comes back.

It wasn't a dream.

Just another God damned memory.

One I haven't thought of since it happened. . . and I think Joon lied to me.

"I don't remember killing Ginna."

Joon looks up in surprise. It's later.

"Geez, don't just pop up like that," he says.

I ignore him and say again,

"I don't remember killing her. I remember fighting her, but in the end, I just got knocked out."

"You slashed her in the frickin' skull," Joon says, sounding defensive, "Of course you killed her."

I sit beside him, and after a moment, I say calmly,

"When I woke up after that, her body wasn't there. But I never thought anything of it until now. She got away, didn't she?"

"Tak, this was a long time-"

"Didn't she?" I repeat sternly.

Without looking at me, he says softly,

"Yes."

I jump up and shout angrialy,

"Why did you lie to me!"

"Because you were gonna get yourself killed!" he screams. "You killed Stir, Ginna killed your parents and Steg. . . if you killed her, it wouldn't just end there! Someone would try to avenge her death! They'd be after you!"

"I COULD'VE HANDLED IT!"

Joon freezes, and for a second, I do too, as I hear my own voice ringing in my head.

Then Joon looks to me and says softly,

". . . I couldn't."

My face, which had been contorted in anger, relaxes, and then I fall beside Joon again, only I'm not looking at him.

"I don't know how to get to Slaytia from here," I say, "Can you take me there?"

"Tak, please don't. . .Ginna might not even be around. . ."

"Well, I can try," I reply. "Besides, I want to say 'hi' to Steg."

I smile at the last part, to let him know I'm not holding a grudge against him, but he doesn't respond to it.

"You know Joon, you can't protect me anymore."

And now he does smile, only it's real, but not happy.

"I never could," he says.

End of Chapter 7. . .

Once again, I felt like crying as I typed this. The last scene. Though I didn't rewrite anything this time. . . but. . .uh. . .I feel for Joon! And he's not just protective over Tak in the brother-type-way. He's actually in love with her. But it's never stated in the story, cuz he knows Tak won't feel the same way, and he wouldn't wanna cause her agony of finding out he's into her and all. . .and he thinks he can't make a good life with her and all. . . only he still wants to protect her, but he can't. . .lol, and this is all in my head. My insane little head. . .

First sentence of Chapter 8. . .

"We're almost there."

It is at this point that I realize that the first sentence of all my chapters really suck. lol, oh well. . .

Well. . . review my prettys. . . review. . . and I'll. . .be. . .not sad. . .