Title: Random Bits 4 - Chapter 1
Setting: Now that Sin has been defeated, Yuna takes Tidus sightseeing in Bevell.
St. Bevelle Palace - Yuna and her Guardians are doing a little sight-seeing, and things are about to go horribly wrong. At least for one person.
Yuna could not explain what had happened. One minute Tidus was recounting the horrible wedding tale and Yuna's heroic escape, and the next he was wobbling on the edge of the terrace. On the other hand Auron knew exactly what happened and could describe it in great detail. The little sin spawn, aka. Spawn of Jecht, aka. Tidus, (Jecht was Sin, so technically Tidus is a Sin Spawn.) was flailing around and gabbling excitedly with the vocabulary of a six year old, complete with sounds taking the place of words. He had climbed up on the edge of the terrace where something that not even Spira's greatest psychics could have foreseen happened (no matter how long they spent meditating under icy waterfalls and fasted). Tidus fell.
As Tidus' arms pin wheeled comically in a vain attempt to keep him on the terrace, Yuna felt strangely calm. She even had time to contemplate whether she was married to Seymour or not. The ceremony was a little rushed, but completed, so did she really get married? Was it still legal if you were forced into it? Since he was dead was she considered a widow? If she were to get married to oh, say...Tidus, would she be able to wear a white dress? Would it be considered adultery?
Yuna's mental Train of thought was effectively derailed when Tidus lost the fight with gravity and toppled over the edge, only Lulu having the presence of mind to attempt to stop him. There were various degrees of horror/fright/concern, dancing across her companions' faces as Wakka and Auron ran to where Tidus had fallen. Well, it would be wrong to say that Auron ran. He never seemed to run for or from anything. It goes against the Cool-Battle-Hardened-Slightly-Older-Legendary-Guardian image. (Also being Unsent tends to put you above the threat of bodily harm.) It would be more appropriate to say that he 'hurried'. Kimahri and Lulu stayed back to shield Yuna and Rikku from unnecessary ghastly sights, i.e. mangled, broken, splattered, or 'chunky' corpses.
"Is he alive?" Rikku quavered, her voice several decibels above what a dog can tolerate. As it was, Kimahri's ears flattened themselves against his skull in an attempt to prevent his temporal lobe from exploding. Before Auron could lean over for a look, a familiar sound drifted up on the breeze. It was a giggle followed closely by the word 'knockers'. Against all odds, Tidus had landed squarely in the ample stone bosom of one of the many statues decorating the tower, (Okay, I know there were no statues on the tower of Bevelle, but its my story and I can have statues if I want to.) and was clinging tightly, grinning like an adolescent who found his dad's Playboy magazines.
"Hold on Tidus! I'm sending Valefor." Yuna shouted, while her companions scattered to give her room. The Aeon alighted next to her Summoner to receive her ritual pat.
"Quickly, over the side!" Yuna commanded. Valefor launched into the air, glided towards the parapet, banking in preparation for her dive, then veered sharply to the right and soared up to the highest point of the tower. Yuna gaped, dumbstruck, at the Aeon perched high on the tower, looking for all of Spira like a fish attempting to breathe air.
"Valefor! You have to save him!" Yuna cried, stamping a foot in frustration. The Aeon turned her back to her Summoner and glared over her wing, letting Yuna know that she would do no such thing.
"I guess she loathes him for the Giant Cat incident." Lulu said
"Hey you'd better hurry, Yuna." Wakka interjected, glancing over the side. "I think I see finger marks in the marble."
"I just hope no one sees him." Auron groaned. "All we need is a bunch of priest to condemn him for molesting the High Summoners' statues..."
"Too late." Lulu said with a hint of amusement in her voice.
Auron reluctantly peered over the parapet to see a sizeable crowd gawking and pointing, while Tidus attempted to wave to his audience.
"I love knockers!" The blonde shrieked, drawing wild applause from the crowd. The crowd didn't know what knockers were, but they had to be more exciting than hours of prayers and chants. The Legendary Guardian noticed that most of the people were young novice priests. He wondered how many of them would give their inheritances to dangle from Tidus' current handholds. Lulu snorted when Wakka leaned out and waved to the crowd, earning a ringing silence.
"I'll try Bahamut." Yuna called, leaning over the parapet and causing Kimahri's fur to stand on end in fright.
"Uh... hurry. I'm slipping!" Tidus called back, a hint of desperation in his voice. He had had some time to see how far the ground was while entertaining the crowd. He had also had time to see how many hard ledges were waiting to hinder his descent.
"Can't you shorten it up a bit?" Lulu asked Yuna as Bahamut made his grand entrance.
"No! No!" Yuna cried, waving her arms in dismay as the Aeon attempted to land. "Just fly over the side and pick him up!" The draconic Aeon managed to abort his landing and dive over the wall of the tower. He spotted Tidus clinging to the statue and glided in to pluck him off. It was a routine rescue up until the little human began kicking and screaming. Bahamut hovered in bemusement as Tidus vigorously fought his rescue attempts, unwilling to relinquish his grip on the statue. He hung tenaciously, ignoring his friends shouts to let go, and twisted to kick at Bahamut's claws.
Bahamut flitted around the flailing human in utter bewilderment, wondering why he was behaving so strangely. He finally got his claws on him and pulled gently to avoid tearing the stranded human in half. (It had happened before with a fluffy orange kitty.) The boy must have been terrified, the Aeon decided as Tidus managed to hold on to the statue with both his hands and his feet. Seeing that Yuna was becoming more distressed with every passing minute, Bahamut closed his eyes and yanked.
Tidus came free with the screeching of fingernails on stone and, to the Aeon's relief, in one piece.
"What on Spira is he doing?" Lulu muttered as Yuna and Rikku began giving instructions to the much set upon Aeon. Bahamut was desperately trying to hold on to the bits of Tidus that kept slipping free. It was like trying to hold on to a wiggling Jell-O Jiggler. (If you don't know what a Jell-O Jiggler is, you're missing out!) Sensing the impending disaster, Kimahri materialized behind Yuna and Rikku, a massive paw clamping on each girls' shoulder. Silent as always he drew them away from the edge, Lulu following in his wake. Pushed beyond the limits of tolerance for the stupidity of others, Auron shouted at Tidus. It was a warning that Auron would later realize was a complete waste of breath.
"Stop struggling! You're going to make him drop---!"
He watched as the boy plummeted to the ground with much less grace and a lot more screaming than Yuna had.
The audience of priests below scattered in a symphony of screams, which was completely unnecessary. Tidus landed on one of the outcroppings several levels up with a smack, 9998 appearing in the air above him. As he unsteadily staggered to his feet a brick struck him on the head, removing hisone remaining life point. Auon and Wakka leaned over to stare at Kimahri, who was wiping dust from his paws. The Ronso grinned sheepishly. Unnoticed by anyone, Bahamut flew up and landed on the top level, stood a few moments in isolated embarrassment, then inconspicuously dismissed himself.
Yeah, I know the beginning sucks,( blows, bites, or whatever word you young kids are using now) but I promise chapter 2 will be better! How about a sympathy review for Bahamut?