It was a long while before Anakin's sobs gave way to quiet sniffles. Through it all, Obi-Wan held tight to him, rubbing his cheek against Anakin's forehead and murmuring soothing nonsense to calm him. One of the medical droids had draped a warm blanket over his bare shoulders before leaving and Obi-Wan wrapped the ends around Anakin, rocking him slightly.
"Calm down, love," Obi-Wan whispered into Anakin's hair. "I need you coherent if we're going to remain among the living."
Anakin's arms tightened around his waist. "'M not letting you go again."
"Hush now, Anakin, I'm not going anywhere," Obi-Wan tried to assure the trembling man huddled against him. With a bit of shifting, he managed to enfold Anakin's tear damp cheeks in his hands and coaxed the younger man into lifting his head. "I need you to calm down, Anakin. Utapau isn't as safe as either of us would like it to be so I can't have you falling apart on me."
Anakin's eyes remained squeezed tightly shut, his breath coming in ragged pants. Slowly, though, he began to calm, the tension in his body relaxing marginally. Obi-Wan lightly stroked the pads of his thumbs along Anakin's flushed cheeks and leaned forward to touch his forehead to the younger man's. Anakin wasn't talking much yet and that worried Obi-Wan. It was never good when Anakin internalized things too much. Quite the contrary. Anakin felt things in an all consuming way. Love, anger, friendship—all were felt with the exact same intensity. As was betrayal. As completely as Anakin loved those he considered his friends that was how completely he felt it when those same people betrayed him.
"I cannot erase what has happened, Anakin, but I can do whatever is in my power to make it right," Obi-Wan said with as much force as he could muster while keeping his voice light. "I will not leave you, now or ever."
There was so much that Anakin wanted to say, so much that he needed to apologize for, but each time he even thought of opening his mouth another sob welled up in his throat and his struggle to swallow it down each time took all of his concentration. It was all chaos inside of him, light and dark swirling about inside of him, and Anakin could no longer tell which way was up; which way would take him to safety or which way would destroy him. All that he had was Obi-Wan's arms around him and the wetness from the drying bacta fluids seeping into his clothes.
"I will not leave you, now or ever."
Moaning, Anakin pressed his lips to Obi-Wan's if only to mingle his breath with his beloved's. "He told me that you were dead, but that he knew a way to bring you back. In that moment I didn't care about anything but saving you. Not even Padmé or our child. I only wanted you to be alive."
Anakin would have kept talking except Obi-Wan's lips smashed against his then, silencing him. He clung to Obi-Wan desperately then, hands sliding up to clutch at his shoulders. Anakin all but climbed into Obi-Wan's lap then, frustrated that he couldn't feel Obi-Wan's flesh against his own. When he felt Obi-Wan's bare hands slip under the back of his tunic, Anakin nearly sobbed with relief. Those rough calluses were so familiar, so comforting.
His every muscle ached, strained beyond endurance. Time and again he stumbled, unable to keep his footing for more than a few steps. He had to get back to the camp. That was the one thought running through Anakin's mind. The entire scouting party he'd gone out with was destroyed, fallen prey to an ambush set by Grievous' army. He had to get back to the camp and warn the others. They needed to be mobilized, ready.
"Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan! Master!" Anakin screamed as he passed their sentries. "Obi-Wan!"
When he stumbled again, he was caught around the waist from behind before he could fall. The clone held him steady while Anakin regained his footing, half-supporting him as they continued on towards the camp. Once he had the breath for it, Anakin began calling for Obi-Wan.
"Anakin!"
Wiggling his way out of the arms that supported him, Anakin scrambled towards the sound of Obi-Wan's voice. He practically slumped when he saw the older man appear through the foliage, but kept to his feet as he sprinted forward.
Obi-Wan's arms enfolded him as soon as he was close enough, holding him upright as his knees threatened to give way once again. He was held securely against his lover's chest, the fingers of Obi-Wan's left hand slipped through a rip in his tunic, sliding against his bare skin. Anakin relaxed against him, sucking in huge lungfuls of air as he struggled to calm himself. He could keep Obi-Wan and the rest of the battalion safe. He knew Grievous' location and could move their own men in time to prevent an ambush.
"Grievous is in sector Z Alpha," Anakin gasped against Obi-Wan's shoulder. "We have to move now before they find our camp."
After giving orders for the camp to be dismantled, Obi-Wan led Anakin back towards their tent. Now that the adrenaline had left his system, Anakin couldn't prevent the limp that slowed his steps. He clung tightly to Obi-Wan's arm to keep his balance, speeding as fast as he was able. Their command tent was no larger than any of the other tents so it was up to them to do their own packing. It also gave them a few moments as there wasn't really any packing for them to do given Obi-Wan's fastidious habits.
"Sit," Obi-Wan ordered as he all but dumped Anakin onto his cot. "I'll get us packed and ready to go. Do you need anything from the medikit?"
As soon as Obi-Wan passed close enough, Anakin latched onto his arm. "Slow down, Obi-Wan. Just hold still for a minute."
Obi-Wan knelt down in front of Anakin, his hands working methodically to search out any wounds. In only a few moments Anakin was stripped to the waist, Obi-Wan's fingers gliding over his bare skin. And worried as he was about what was going on, the rough calluses on Obi-Wan's fingers were familiar and comforting. They were as distinctive as the hilt of Obi-Wan's lightsaber. Anakin knew his lover's hands intimately—had had countless fantasies about them in his teens. For so long Obi-Wan's hands had been the only part of his master's body that he'd seen. The only part of him he'd been able to touch. Now he could touch all of him and Anakin feared the day when Obi-Wan would be taken from him permanently.
Obi-Wan's hands on his face were so warm. He leaned into that touch, breathing deeply through his nose to inhale Obi-Wan's familiar scent. A scent which was tinged with something else; a clinical smell of antiseptic and bacta.
"Anakin? Are you back with me?"
Anakin leaned forward, pressing himself fully against Obi-Wan. As he tried to clutch at Obi-Wan's tunic, Anakin realized for the first time that the older man had no shirt on. It was Obi-Wan's bare skin beneath his fingers. It was something he had feared would never happen again. Something that he wasn't entirely sure was happening again.
"Obi-Wan…." Anakin moaned into his lover's shoulder. He shifted himself still closer, burrowing himself against Obi-Wan's chest. "I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me. You were dead and I didn't know what to do. I only wanted you to be alive again."
"I could never hate you," Obi-Wan murmured against his temple. "But I worry for you, Anakin. I fear what will happen when I do pass into the Force."
Anakin squeezed him tightly as he was able, as though the embrace would bind Obi-Wan to him forever. "No. You cannot die. I won't let it happen."
"If it is the will of the Force even you can't stop it," Obi-Wan whispered, sinking his fingers into Anakin's hair.
"I won't lose you, Obi-Wan. I can't."
"And you won't so long as it is in my power to prevent it."
Obi-Wan was certain he'd have bruises in the shape of Anakin's arms about his middle. The younger man was squeezing him tightly, but in that moment Obi-Wan didn't care. He only wanted Anakin to be well in both mind and body. The chaos that currently abounded in Anakin's mind was not lost on Obi-Wan. With only a nudge along their bond he could feel the full force of that chaos. The darkness that was Palpatine's influence warred with Anakin's innate goodness. No matter what he had done, Obi-Wan knew that Anakin was still the selfless little boy he'd met on Tatooine. No amount of darkness could fully smother that part of Anakin.
Breathing deeply, Obi-Wan relaxed his muscles and slid his arms further up Anakin's back so that he was touching the ultimate amount of bare skin. It was a type of meditation; only instead of encompassing him alone he enfolded Anakin in the tranquility as well. It was something he had not done in many years when he was first teaching Anakin how to meditate properly. Through Obi-Wan the light of the Force seeped into both of them, joining them in ways far more intimate than anything physical.
It joined them closely enough that Obi-Wan could feel the darkness swirling inside of Anakin. Whatever foulness Sidious had corrupted Anakin with was sunk deep into the crevasses of him. Even with all of the mental wiggling and Force manipulations, Obi-Wan couldn't reach all of the darkness. It had seeped so far into Anakin that Obi-Wan feared for the younger man. At the moment Anakin's mind was far too fragile to even consider confronting Sidious.
"Anakin, please don't force the issue," Obi-Wan sighed as he slumped onto the bed rather unceremoniously. "This is beyond our control. You forget that we ultimately answer to higher powers."
"But Palpatine is my friend," Anakin insisted, remaining where he was leaning against the wall next to the 'fresher.
"Which is why it grieves me to be the one delivering this order."
Anakin snorted as he pushed himself away from the wall, slowly making his way towards the bed. "You don't even like Palpatine."
"My mistrust in the Chancellor has nothing to do with this," Obi-Wan corrected, looping a finger into the waist of Anakin's sleep pants and drawing him down onto the bed. "It angers me that the Council shows such little regard for you that they insisted upon this course of action. There are many ways to gain the necessary surveillance without resorting to forcing you to betray a friend."
Stretching out alongside Obi-Wan, Anakin hooked a thigh over his lover's hip. "You don't think they suspect anything, do you? That they're separating us because they know that we are… whatever we are?"
"If they had, we would know it," Obi-Wan assured him as he turned his body into Anakin's. "Mace wouldn't keep it quiet. The entire Council would know it."
"He could just be trying to protect you."
Chuckling quietly, Obi-Wan rolled over so that he was lying half on top of Anakin. "You forget how nervous you make Mace. If he thought for one moment you were corrupting me he'd report you to the Council. Then you would be expelled from the Order, and, like a dutiful, devoted lover, I would follow. It would all be horribly romantic like one of those wretched Holonovels."
Anakin cocked his head slightly, arching an eyebrow. "And just how do you know what is in one of those wretched Holonovels?"
"I found the one you had stuffed in the sofa cushions."
The next instant found Obi-Wan on his back with an armful of smirking blonde. There was a great deal of wriggling and twisting and several quick pinches to his side that made Obi-Wan twitch and squirm about. He managed a few well-aimed pokes himself before he once again managed to twist Anakin under him.
As Anakin began to lean more fully into him, Obi-Wan longed for something to rest again. It was putting a great deal of strain on hi lower back, but he couldn't find it in himself to move as Anakin was finally calm. There was no doubt in his mind that Anakin's transformation into Darth Vader had been an act of desperation. Its residue still clung to Anakin even as the younger man began to slip into a healing trance.
Obi-Wan waited for Anakin to slip deeper into the healing sleep before he began to ease his way out from under the younger man. He made sure that they were not out of physical contact as he laid Anakin down on the platform, taking up an all too familiar position at its head. There was a slight chill now that he and Anakin were no longer sharing body heat and wrapped the blanket more securely about himself. Clothes would have been preferable, but Obi-Wan could find no sign of his clothing.
"What happened on Coruscant?" Obi-Wan murmured aloud as he called a chair over to him with a wave of his hand. Easing himself down onto it, he slid his fingers between the flesh digits of Anakin's left hand. "How could you have fallen so quickly?"
Anakin felt almost detached as he dueled with Obi-Wan across a fiery landscape. From Obi-Wan's features alone he could tell that this was no training session. The playful smirk was completely absent from his lips and there was an emotion in those familiar blue-grey eyes that he couldn't quite decipher as it was one that had never been directed at him.
Anakin began to realize that while Obi-Wan was using a form that was far more defensive than it was offensive, his own movements hinted at a desire to not merely disarm his lover, but to kill him.
"No! Stop this! Please stop this!" Anakin screamed, desperately trying to disengage his lightsaber without success. Worse still, his lips didn't move as he shouted. The sound could be heard only in his own mind.
"It's over, Anakin. I have the high ground."
"You underestimate my power!"
"Don't try it," Obi-Wan pleaded, his voice desperate.
But he jumped. He jumped and then Anakin could feel fire racing through his three remaining limbs before he plummeted to the charred ground.
Anakin woke with a start just as his body made contact with the heat-infused surface. The scream died on his lips and he immediately felt a pair of soothing hands on him, gentling him back down. He didn't fight the hands as much as he normally would have, recognizing Obi-Wan's touch.
"Lie still, love," Obi-Wan murmured, lips brushing against his forehead.
Contrary to Obi-Wan's words, Anakin rolled towards the sound of his lover's voice, sluggishly blinking his eyes open. The image was slightly burry at first, but he could easily make out his features. That desperate look from his dream was still present, the lines at the corners of Obi-Wan's eyes deep at that moment.
"How are you feeling?" Obi-Wan whispered as he slipped an arm behind Anakin's back to support him from rolling back.
"Like I'm underwater," Anakin sighed, blinking his eyes shut once again. "What happened?"
Obi-Wan smiled down at him fondly, his fingers brushing through the blonde's rumpled bangs. "There is no need for you to concern yourself with that at the moment. Rest. You'll feel better for it."
Even though he knew from experience that it was better to listen to Obi-Wan's advice, Anakin fought off sleep as best as he was able. Obi-Wan merely chuckled at the futile attempt, his fingers instead gliding down to brush Anakin's eyelids down.
"Obi-Wan…." Anakin yawned, arching his torso and twisting himself about slightly. "So sorry, Obi-Wan."
"Hush now," Obi-Wan chided gently. "We've been over this already. You have nothing to be sorry for. I only want you well."
Snuffling, Anakin fumbled with his left hand, blindly searching out Obi-Wan's fingers. Almost immediately Obi-Wan's fingers slipped between his, squeezing tightly. Despite his best efforts, Anakin began to relax into sleep. He didn't want to admit it, but he was utterly exhausted, barely having slept at all over the past week.
Obi-Wan's lips brushing against his forehead was the last thing Anakin was aware of before he drifted off to sleep.
Sighing, Obi-Wan dropped into the co-pilots seat of the Millennium Falcon. He rubbed his right hand across his forehead before sliding it down to cup his jaw. His bond with Anakin was fully open so that he could sense when the younger man began to stir. Under no circumstances did he want Anakin waking up alone.
"How long until we reach Tatooine?" Obi-Wan asked Cody.
The clone glanced away from the controls briefly, meeting his gaze. "I'd say roughly another six hours. What happens then?"
"That, my friend, remains to be seen."