Tatooine was not a place Obi-Wan Kenobi remembered fondly. He was far too fair-skinned to be comfortable spending extended periods of time in desert climates. No matter what precautions he took he inevitably ended up with rather uncomfortable sunburns. He couldn't completely disregard Tatooine, though, as it had given him Anakin. Still, it was a place he had never wished to return to. It was a place that held a great deal of pain for his lover.
For nearly an entire month Obi-Wan had no clue about what had happened on Tatooine. He had known that Anakin had gone to see his mother, but not what had actually occurred while he was on the planet. Between the events on Geonosis, their recoveries, Anakin's trip to Naboo and the beginning of the war, Anakin's reason for being on Tatooine had been pushed into the background. It likely would have remained there, one of many forgotten things, had Obi-Wan not returned to their quarters earlier than expected on afternoon.
The instant the door to their apartment slid open Obi-Wan could feel the anguish rolling off of Anakin. He was across the room in an instant, kneeling down next to Anakin who twisted about in the grips of a nightmare. Leaning an arm against the armrest, Obi-Wan slid the fingers of his free hand through Anakin's hair. Almost instantly Obi-Wan's mind was filled with that he would have rather not seen, Anakin unconsciously projecting his nightmare.
Sitting back on his heels, Obi-Wan cupped a hand across his jaw as he stared down at Anakin's twitching form. He sent gentle pulses along his and Anakin's bond hoping to ease him into a more peaceful slumber. Yet despite the comforting thoughts he sent to the younger man, Obi-Wan's own mind was in turmoil. He berated himself for not having realizing sooner just how much pain his padawan was in. He had foolishly assumed that the disquiet that had surrounded Anakin for the past month had been because of his lost arm.
"I never knew," Obi-Wan murmured as he rose rather unsteadily to his feet.
Bowing his head, Obi-Wan strode towards the large window that overlooked Coruscant's busy traffic lanes. He cursed himself silently for not having realized sooner that Anakin's mother was dead and that he had killed the monsters responsible for her murder. His own predicaments on Geonosis aside, he should have immediately sensed Anakin's torment.
Obi-Wan didn't know how long he stood there, but after a time he could feel Anakin beginning to stir. Pushing aside his own worries for the moment, Obi-Wan turned just as Anakin was climbing off the sofa. He smiled over at the younger man, hoping to set him at ease.
"Your therapy went well?" Obi-Wan inquired as Anakin slowly made his way towards him. Though he gave no indication of it, Obi-Wan noticed how Anakin's right hand immediately clenched.
"It's better," he admitted.
The two stood in silence for several long minutes, neither of them speaking. At last Obi-Wan lifted his head, waiting until Anakin met his gaze before speaking.
"If I had known the utter truth of your dreams I would have let you go to her."
Anakin sucked in a deep breath through his nose. "I know."
To be back on Tatooine now after all that had happened filled Obi-Wan with unease. He did not wish to cause Anakin any further pain, but feared that it would be impossible. No matter where they went in the galaxy there would be no avoiding the pain that was to follow once Anakin became aware of the full import of what he'd done. Obi-Wan hadn't lied when he told Anakin that he didn't hate him, but at the same time he couldn't rationalize what his lover had done. He desperately wanted to understand what had happened and help Anakin, but on his own he couldn't do that. He needed Anakin conscious, he needed to understand what had happened. He also needed to get Anakin somewhere more secluded than an inn in the middle of Mos Eisley.
"There's a homestead just out beyond the Dune Sea," Cody said before taking a swallow of Jawa juice "The land around it is too eroded for any farming, but I'm told that the house itself is still in order. The owner is still down in the cantina if you wanted to talk to him."
Obi-Wan could only marvel at what Cody was able to accomplish in such a short amount of time. He would have had no qualms about leaving things in his hands except that, at the moment, discretion was necessary. And though he may not be a Jedi any longer he still possessed the talents of one. His only concern was leaving Anakin.
"If he wakes do what you can to keep him calm," Obi-Wan instructed as he donned the sturdy beige poncho popular among Tatooine's inhabitants. "I'll return as soon as I can."
Before leaving their rented room, Obi-Wan made his way back to the bed, sitting himself down next to Anakin. He stared down at his lover's slumbering form, his features relaxed for the moment. Concentrating briefly he infused the area around Anakin with peaceful energies in the hopes of keeping the younger man's dreams light.
"I will be back soon," Obi-Wan whispered, leaning forward to brush a kiss against his forehead near the scar that bisected his right eyebrow. "Be at peace, my love."
It took a supreme amount of effort for Obi-Wan to rise to his feet once again. Even with Cody there to watch over him, Obi-Wan felt uneasy about leaving Anakin. There was too much still in question. For the time being Anakin was calm, but if he once again gave into his fear it could all be for naught. He could still loose Anakin to the darkness that clung to the edges of him.
"Watch over him," Obi-Wan repeated as he palmed open the door to their room.
Casting a final glance over his shoulder at Anakin, Obi-Wan left his side for the first time since their reunion. It couldn't be helped, though. At the moment Anakin needed to be hidden away. Until he was able to protect himself from Sidious' manipulations he had to be kept sheltered for a time.
Uncertain, Obi-Wan wandered into the cantina below their room to search out the man with the ruined farm. The location Cody had described would suit their current needs perfectly. He could keep Anakin away from others as he helped his young lover focus his mind and turn away from the darkness Sidious had filled him with. So far out into the desert there would be very few beings to interfere with them and Cody would provide the necessary protection from Tusken raiders and any other dangerous creatures that could prove a nuisance to them.
"So I hear that you are interested in purchasing my land," the old farmer said as Obi-Wan slid in across from him. As a gesture of goodwill, Obi-Wan slid a mug of ale over to him. "If you don't mind my asking, what do you want with it? It's worthless."
"I need the homestead more than anything," Obi-Wan told him, taking a sip from his own drink. "A friend of mine is ill and has been ordered by the healers in our system to spend some time in seclusion in an arid atmosphere."
"You certainly won't find anything more arid than this," the old man chuckled, the weathered skin crinkling at the corners of his eyes. "Let's have another drink and then we'll talk price."
With a quick wave of his hand, Obi-Wan summoned the T'wilek barmaid. "We need another round."
The only thing he could hear was a loud, almost mechanical breathing. It was very slow and even, frightening in its regularity and in the way it would echo in his ears. As much as he didn't want to admit to it, Anakin knew that the breathing was his own. Even as his agitation increased the pace of his breathing remained the same. It was unnatural.
His vision was tinged red with blood and through that haze he could see Obi-Wan striding towards him. There was an odd gait to his lover's walk and Anakin realized quite suddenly that he was hesitating. Obi-Wan had never hesitated before. And when Anakin tried to call out to him no sound passed his lips.
Then Obi-Wan drew his lightsaber and Anakin was horrified to see that he ignited his own blade. There was no enemy that he could see and Anakin struggled to turn the glowing blade of his lightsaber away from Obi-Wan. The disembodied voice that spoke next sounded just as harsh as the rumbling breathing.
"I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the apprentice. Now I am the master."
The words could only have come from him. Obi-Wan had never had another apprentice and had decided long ago to never take another padawan. It had always been a joke between the two of them that Obi-Wan didn't have the energy to keep up with a new apprentice in his old age.
"Only a master of evil, Darth," Obi-Wan said, his features impassive.
Years of training together had given them insight into each other's fighting styles. It made it difficult to get a blow in. Anakin was grateful for it. He didn't want to be responsible for killing his lover. He loved Obi-Wan and would have willingly given his life for him. He couldn't kill Obi-Wan.
The mechanical voice that wasn't his own continued to taunt Obi-Wan even in the midst of their battle. "Your powers are weak old man."
"You can't win, Darth. Destroy me and I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
"You should not have come back," was the words that he spoke when all that he wanted to do was scream for Obi-Wan to run. If Obi-Wan wasn't there then he couldn't possibly hurt the other man.
Obi-Wan glanced quickly to the left, his lips quirking briefly before he turned back to face him. The smug smile on Obi-Wan's face had him instantly worried. Things had a habit of dying when Obi-Wan smiled that way. Except, instead of going on the defensive, Obi-Wan merely straightened his shoulders and held his lightsaber up vertically in front of his body.
Anakin screamed as his lightsaber unerringly swiped through Obi-Wan's body across his chest. Obi-Wan's physical body disappeared and both cloak and lightsaber tumbled to the ground in a heap. Anakin's own terrified screams were echoed by a second one which was much closer to his own voice than the mechanical one that had been speaking earlier.
"NO!"
Anakin jolts to awareness suddenly, his body arching off the ground as he barely manages to swallow a scream. Slumping back down, he scanned the area quickly with his eyes while he struggled to get his breathing under control. He could only sense one other person in the small room and that person wasn't Obi-Wan.
Moving sluggishly onto his hands and knees, Anakin lifted himself up so that he could see things better. He didn't know where his lightsaber was and he needed to be able to defend himself until Obi-Wan got back. He couldn't trust anyone else. Not even Cody because Cody had tried to kill Obi-Wan. He would have killed Obi-Wan if he hadn't been ordered to take the other man alive. He had to find Obi-Wan.
Anakin ended up tangled in the thin blanket that had been draped over him, tumbling onto the hard ground. He somehow managed to turn the fall into a roll and by the time his body stilled he ended up resting on his elbows. A pair of boots rested just before his face and Anakin immediately rolled onto his back in order to see the owner of the boots.
"Are you well, General?" Cody asked, squatting down so that he no longer towered quite so high over the blonde man.
"Cody," Anakin gasped as he more or less collapsed onto the ground, arms spread out on either side of his body and legs sprawled. It lasted for only a moment before he remembered what part the clone commander had played in recent events. With a movement quick as a thought, Anakin was on his feet and glancing about the interior of the room for Obi-Wan. "Where is General Kenobi? Where are we?"
His fingers itched for his lightsaber. Anakin didn't like this one bit. Obi-Wan wouldn't have left him; he'd promised. Anakin had to hold onto that because at the moment it was all that he had. He was responsible for destroying the democracy that he and so many other Jedi had fought and died for. He had murdered younglings who had never harmed a soul. Children that he had played with in the Temple gardens had been cut down by his lightsaber.
"Master Yoda was right," Anakin moaned, dropping suddenly to his knees. "Master Qui-Gon should have left me on Tatooine to rot in the slave quarters or die in a pod race. I never should have been brought to the Temple."
Bowing his body forward, Anakin pressed his face into the mud brick floor and screamed. He had destroyed everyone and everything to care about and if Obi-Wan hadn't been alive it would have ended so much worse. He would have been the monster from his nightmares. Even with Obi-Wan alive he still could have become that mechanical creature if they hadn't been reunited when they had.
A pair of arms slipped around him then and he was pulled onto Obi-Wan's lap. Anakin immediately wound himself around his lover, clinging to him tightly. Burrowing his face against Obi-Wan's throat, Anakin couldn't stop the sobs that choked his breath. All that he had ever wanted was to keep the people he loved safe. He had become a Jedi so that he could free his mother, but she had died because he was too far away to help her when she needed him. He had become a Sith so that he could bring Obi-Wan back to life and keep Padmé from dying, but in the end it had been for nothing. He had been manipulated by a man he had considered a friend. Sidious had used him for his own ends, using the ones Anakin loved most as leverage. And he had fallen for it. Each and every lie Sidious had told Anakin had believed without question.
"I would never hurt you, you know that right?" Anakin demanded, leaning back suddenly so that he could see Obi-Wan's face. "No matter what he said to me or what he wanted me to do I would never hurt you."
Anakin would have rambled longer, but Obi-Wan pressed a thumb over his lips, his hands holding Anakin's face. Anakin squeezed his eyes shut tight as he leaned into Obi-Wan's touch, immersing himself in the comfort Obi-Wan's mere presence offered. Focusing his senses on Obi-Wan, Anakin began to pattern his breathing on his lover's so that after a while he was breathing in time with Obi-Wan.
"You need to stay calm, Anakin," Obi-Wan murmured, leaning in to brush his lips against Anakin's forehead. "There are too many people about for you to loose control. Please just hold it together for a little bit longer. I'd really rather not have to sedate you for the time being."
Glancing about, Anakin realized for the first time the state of the room. What little furniture the room contained was in complete disarray. The table had been upended, and the two chairs were toppled about and on opposite sides of the room. The bedding was near the door and the filling of the pillow billowed about the floor.
"What's wrong with me?" Anakin moaned, escaping the other man's hold and returning to his face to its earlier position against Obi-Wan's throat.
"You've lost your focus," Obi-Wan said simply.
There was more to it than that, but for the moment Anakin could find the energy to press the issue. All that he wanted was for it to stop and for things to go back to how it had been before he'd given into Sidious and lived down to the lowest expectations the Jedi Council had ever had of him.
Obi-Wan had been about to have a drink with Radir Kanzik after the concluding the sale of the homestead when he felt Anakin awaken. Whatever hopes he'd had that Anakin would be calm were dashed when he felt the fear emanating from his lover. It was swirling around Anakin, seeming to swallow him whole. Quickly making his excuses, Obi-Wan hurried towards the stairs and up to their room.
When they had first arrived they had managed to obtain a more secluded room which gave them some privacy. Obi-Wan was glad for that now as he could hear the sounds of furniture being flung about the room before he was even halfway down the corridor. Cody met him at the door, the clone looking very uneasy as he hovered half in the room half in the hallway.
Nodding tensely at Cody, Obi-Wan stepped around him and immediately spotted Anakin curled forward on the floor. A moment later Obi-Wan was across the room and had Anakin gathered up in his arms. He was relieved when Anakin immediately began clinging to him. It meant that Anakin was aware enough to know that it was him. Obi-Wan could feel Anakin's lips moving against his throat, but not what the words themselves were. Until Anakin drew back, staring at him with exceptionally wide eyes.
"I would never hurt you, you know that right? No matter what he said to me or what he wanted me to do I would never hurt you."
Obi-wan leaned forward, touching his lips to Anakin's forehead. "You need to stay calm, Anakin. There are too many people about for you to loose control. Please just hold it together for a little bit longer. I'd really rather not have to sedate you for the time being."
"What's wrong with me?" Anakin moaned, escaping his hold and returning to his face to its earlier position against Obi-Wan's throat.
At first Obi-Wan didn't know how to answer that because he honestly didn't know what was wrong with Anakin. It was easy just to say that Anakin had fallen prey to the Dark Side of the Force, but that was not the answer. There were reasons why Anakin had fallen victim to Palpatine's lies except at the moment Obi-Wan didn't know what those reasons were. The state of the room, however, gave him some insight into what was going on.
"You've lost your focus."
What was not necessary to say was that he would help Anakin regain his focus. That would happen without question. Obi-Wan hugged Anakin to him tightly, hoping to keep him calm long enough for them to start out towards the Dune Sea. It would be safer to let Anakin fall apart once they were far away from the settlement because there would be no one there for Anakin to inadvertently hurt.
After a while, Anakin relaxed against him. Obi-Wan relaxed as well. Glancing over his shoulder at Cody, he nodded in response to the unasked question. They were leaving Mos Eisley as soon as possible to head to the homestead beyond the Dune Sea. Hiding from Sidious would be much easier out there. They couldn't relax their guard completely, but it would allow Obi-Wan to focus his attention on Anakin. Getting Anakin whole once again was his main concern. His only concern.