I wanna be the first to call and tell you
Yesterday I heard the news
I hear you oughtta be congratulated
So I guess that's what I'll do
I'm so happy for you
I could cry
Yeah, I'm so elated
Cross my heart and hope to die
I don't think about you every night
Before I close my eyes
I'm so happy for you baby,
I could cry
The hatch shut behind him with a resounding clang, but it wasn't loud enough to stop him from hearing Kara's drunken shriek of delight as Anders… well, he didn't even want to think about what he was doing to Kara.
He walked through the hallways silently, trying desperately to fight the revolted feeling in his gut. He wanted Kara to be happy, he did. When he had said that he wanted her to find him, he had meant it. But… gods, this was so frakked up.
A few minutes later he found himself outside of his father's quarters. He honestly didn't want to see him right now, or anyone else for that matter, but he followed his orders like a good little soldier and entered into the room.
His father was seated on one of the long couches, eating noodles and going over what he suspected were mission reports from the Caprica rescue.
"You wanted to see me sir," he said as he stood at attention.
His dad looked up from the papers and gave him a brief smile. "Sit down son," he said gesturing to the place beside him.
Reluctantly Lee sat. Maybe if he played the family card he could make an early escape. "Did you need something Dad? Because if not, I've got things to do on Pegasus." He kept his voice on the lighter side, despite all of the emotions that were running through his veins.
"No you don't," he said looking Lee in the eye.
He didn't even bother to try and cover his surprise and skepticism. "I don't?"
His father shook his head. "No you don't, you have a week of leave starting right now."
"What?" he asked loudly, his temper rising. "I didn't ask for leave."
"No, but you need some."
Lee couldn't stand the sympathetic look that he was getting from his dad, and he stood up. "No, I don't." He tried to keep his voice quiet, but that didn't hide the anger.
"Lee, sit down."
Grudgingly he did as he was told. He shifted his gaze toward the hatch, hoping that he could escape from the sympathy he didn't want or deserve.
"You have a week of downtime on the Rising Star. Everything's already set up Lee, there's no point in arguing it."
"Yes there is Dad. I don't need any downtime, I'm fine."
He heard his father's sigh, and felt the couch shift as he leaned back. "I didn't expect him to be alive either."
Lee's head spun around so quickly that he thought he might have pulled something. "What?"
"I'm not blind son, I've seen the way you look at her." The sympathy was back and turned his gaze towards the hatch again, not saying anything. Maybe his dad would just drop it.
The comforting squeeze on his shoulder a few minutes later was almost enough to set him talking about it all. Instead he just took a deep breath and said, "Maybe I will take that downtime."
"Good," he father said quietly.
"Is that everything?" he asked in a steady voice.
"Sure son."
Lee stood up and walked towards the hatch. The sound of his father's voice made him pause in front of the exit and look back over his shoulder.
"Maybe you should tell her."
Lee took a deep breath before answering, "No." He was firm in his decision. "She's happy with him and that's all that matters."
He woke up three days later with a pounding headache. The artificial sunlight streaming through the window to his room wasn't helping matters either.
Groggily he lifted his head and looked around. Despite the hangover he was quick to notice that he hadn't even made it to the bed. He closed his eyes again and let his head fall back down onto the worn fabric of the couch.
Slowly, he sat up and placed his sock clad feet on the faded carpet. He pushed himself up off the couch and wandered towards the tiny bathroom. He didn't turn on the light, and instead went straight to the shower and began to run the water. He opted for leaving it more on the cool side, hoping that it would help wake him up.
It worked a little bit, and within the hour Lee found himself dressed and heading down to the restaurant for some breakfast, or more accurately lunch.
He managed to spend most of the afternoon keeping up some appearance of normalcy, walking outside in the fake summer day, taking the time to swim a few laps in the pool. On his way back from supper he saw a group of deckhands from Galactica, but they didn't seem to notice him.
They were walking toward him in the hallway and as they approached he could hear snippets of their conversation. "Starbuck" "That pyramid player" "Finally settling down" "Who'd have thought" "Of all the people to tie the knot"
The words themselves were enough to stop Lee in his tracks. She was engaged.
It took Lee one day to work up the courage to call her. Well that and half a bottle of ambrosia. He was just waiting for her to pick up now. For a second he thought about hanging up, but instead he twisted the top off the bottle sitting on the table beside him and took another gulp. Just as soon as he'd swallowed it he heard her voice.
"Captain Thrace."
It took him a few moments before he said, "Kara."
"Oh, hey!" She sounded really happy. "How's you're downtime going?"
"Fine," he lied. His grip tightened on the receiver as he heard Sam's voice in the background asking her who it was. But it was her reply that caused him to grasp his glass with the other hand, tight enough to shatter it.
"It's nobody."
This was a stupid idea; he should have never called her. He never did the right thing when it came to her. The only thing that stopped him from hanging up was the sound of her voice.
"You still there?"
"Yeah," he said quietly. "I'm still here."
An uneasy silence stretched between them until she said, "Well, I'm glad you're having a good time."
He nodded even though he knew she couldn't see him. "Listen Kara… I, I was just calling to say congratulations."
"You were?" she asked tentatively.
"Yeah," he said, trying to keep his voice steady. "I'm really happy for you Kara."
He could hear her hesitation. "Thank you." Her voice was quiet, but very sincere. "It means a lot to me."
"Yeah," he whispered. He wasn't even sure if she heard him.
Then he could hear Sam's voice in the background telling Kara to hurry up so that they could go to the gym.
"Listen," she said softly. "I really should go…"
"Ok," he said.
"Lee… thank you."
He sighed. "I'm just really glad that you're happy Kara." He heard a soft 'bye' and then the click that meant she had hung up.
Lee let his head fall against the back of his chair. He sat there in the dark of his room for what seemed like forever, just letting the tears fall.
The End