Author's Note
In all seriousness I don't own Sailor Moon or Fullmetal Alchemist, yet the concept is mine. Please don't take it without my consent… PLEASE…
I had fun this week. I've started new jobs (no, that isn't a typo) and I think it is going to be loads of fun for me! Well, I gotta go get ready for work, so enjoy!
Sailor Moon and the Philosopher's Stone
Chapter 5: Fireside Spats
"So this is the 'Negaverse' you all were talking about," Ed said, looking around at the glum and dreary realm of darkness.
"It's kind of scary," Al whimpered.
"I agree," Winry exclaimed.
"Don't tell me you want to back out now," Ed asked them. "We just got here."
"They have a reason to be afraid," Sailor Venus, as Mina requested they call her, said.
"This place isn't very friendly to anyone, native or foreign," Sailor Mars, or Raye, added.
"OOH! I hate this place! It gives me the creeps!" Sailor Moon, or Serena, squealed, as the group hushed her quickly, looking around.
"Phew, no giant," Sailor Jupiter, or Lita, said softly.
"No, we're clear for a few miles or so," Sailor Mercury, or Amy, replied, typing away.
There was an unspoken sigh of gratitude from Sailors Mars, Venus, Jupiter, and Mercury.
"What are you all talking about?" Sailor Moon asked, confused.
"While you were playing hide-and-go-seek with the Sandstonian Princess, we were running from a giant, remember?" Sailor Mars asked angrily.
"Oh yeah," Sailor Moon said thoughtfully.
"Giant?" Roy asked, disbelieving.
"Yes, a giant," Sailor Mercury confirmed. An awkward silence ensued.
"By the way, I've—um—taken the liberty of making a list of things that might make this trip go—well—smoother," Roy said finally, handing Sailor Mercury the list.
"First, refer to Roy as Colonel Roy Mustang or Flame Alchemist," Sailor Mercury read, as the group looked around. "Second, Ed is to be called Fullmetal Alchemist, and he is not to be insulted for his stature. Third, although Al is indeed a suit of armor, no one is permitted to use him like such. Fourth, Winry is to be defended with the utmost care, for she is a civilian!"
The last lines were read with shock, as the group sighed.
"All of those are easy enough," Sailor Moon noted.
"So there's no calling E—I mean Fullmetal Alchemist—for his shortness then," Sailor Jupiter noted.
"Like we'd want to jump inside someone's body for protection," Sailor Venus said, slightly perturbed.
"And although Sailor Moon doesn't look it, she's strong enough to take on most everyone here," Sailor Mars said.
"Hey!"
"Stop that right now you two," Sailor Jupiter said quickly. "This is not the place to fight!"
"She's right," Sailor Mercury said, still typing. "We probably should also—establish ground rules."
"You all are not to leave on your own for anything," Sailor Mars said quickly. "This is no place for anyone to be by themselves."
"If we tell you to do something, by the Moon, you better do it," Sailor Venus said. "Strategy is key in any fight, even if you fail to follow even one suggestion without fail, then you best pray for your life, because this is a serious life and death situation."
"Right," Ed said. "Anything else?"
"Um, yeah," Sailor Moon said, shaking some. "RUN!"
She dashed off promptly afterward with Winry.
"What could have—oh no! RUN!" Sailor Mercury cried, following her friend.
"Brother, is there any reason we suddenly have a giant shadow?" Al asked.
"Might be early morning here or something," Ed said.
"GIANT!" Sailor Jupiter screamed, running off as well. The group now turned to see that a familiar giant was coming after them.
"I LOVE TO PLAY WITH SAILOR SCOUTS! GIMME SOME SCOUTS TO PLAY WITH!"
"You've got to be kidding me," Roy said in pure disbelief. He then followed the first set of runners in a race for his life. The others followed shortly after.
"COME BACK SAILORS! ME WANT TO PLAY!"
"Playing involves death so you can forget it pal!" Sailor Mars shouted from the rear guard.
"MARS FLAME SNIPER!"
"MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY!"
The giant started to run away. The ground shook as the group slowly reconvened.
"Please tell me why you didn't do that in the first place Mars!" Sailor Moon exclaimed.
"I'LL CRUSH THOSE WHO HURT MY BABY!"
The voice in the distance made them quiver.
"That's why probably," Roy said. "And that's the second time you've proven to be useless Mars."
"Can it Flame Boy!" Sailor Mars said angrily. "You're lucky he didn't catch up with us. We would have been flattened!"
"Did you ever stop to think that maybe all he really wanted to do was play?" Winry asked.
"Once again, we've been here, you haven't. You don't kno—what?" Sailor Mars started, as Sailor Mercury put a hand on her shoulder.
"We have to get out of here," Sailor Mercury reminded her quietly. "Less fighting, more running."
The group then ran on, for what seemed like miles. Miles of endless dreariness, coupled with the faint odor of blood and gore, with a dash of giggles somewhere not too far away. The group shivered at the thought. Who could possibly giggle in a place like this? A little girl came out from behind a dead tree. She had shining silver hair and giant grey eyes. She held in her hands a little doll that reminded them of a puppy. Yet what caught them was that she stood next to a dead body, and was laughing about it.
"What the hell?" Ed whispered.
"We should go talk to her," Sailor Moon said. "Maybe she knows where this book is."
"The book you seek is not far from here," the girl said with a small giggle, startling them. "However, this man tried to take the book, and look what happened to him."
"What did happen to him?" Al asked calmly.
"He was destroyed by the very powers he wanted to control. The silly man has no concept of self-worth, does he?" the girl giggled.
"Which way to the book?" Roy asked bluntly.
"Follow the flowers," the girl said, smiling demonically. "But be warned. Those who try to use powers unfit for them face a peril greater than death."
The group once again trudged forward.
"She killed him, didn't she?" Roy asked the girls, who all nodded.
"Most likely. However, there were no marks on her face. We might have to fight her on the way out," Sailor Mercury said.
"We're going to fight that pipsqueak? She looked like she could hardly lift a feather, let alone take all of us on," Ed said, looking too relaxed.
"Looks can be deceiving Ed," Winry noted. "Look at these girls. You couldn't possibly have known that they possessed any skills at all when we first met them."
"So don't judge somebody by their size Fullmetal," Sailor Mars said bluntly.
"What is it with you people and making fun of my height?" Ed asked.
"It's because you get so annoyed so easily about it," Sailor Venus giggled. "Like Sailor Moon does about being called meatball head."
"Hey!"
"See?" Sailor Venus said. "We don't mean it, really."
"I'm not short," Ed said, as he stood next to the outrageously tall Sailor Jupiter. The group couldn't help but laugh. "What?"
Then he realized that he was next to her, seeing how short he seemed next to her.
"You probably shouldn't stand next to people who are taller than you then!" Sailor Moon laughed.
"Brother, I don't think they're trying to be mean," Al said, as he stood next to Ed, and happened to make Ed seem even shorter (if even humanly possible). The group tried to suppress giggles and fits of laughter as Roy gave them hard looks.
"Look, come on! You all need to lighten up!" Sailor Jupiter said, stepping away from the Elric brothers. "Even though we're here, that doesn't mean get all angry and stuff."
"Actually, yes it does," Roy said. "Didn't you say this place was dangerous?"
As they moved on, ignoring the Colonel's question, they now noted the air was filled with an inexplicable silence and all scents had vanished.
"It's like this area is pure," Sailor Mars noted, looking around.
"Yup, we're beyond clear. It's like none of them wish to come here," Sailor Mercury noted.
"You know something really scary is here if THEY don't even want to come close to here," Sailor Venus said. Ahead lay one flower. A tiny flower with gossamer petals.
"This must be the flower she said to follow," Sailor Moon said.
"So much for the scary thing that is here," Ed said, as it bloomed to reveal a giant Venus flytrap of a head that nearly ate the curious Sailor Moon. She scurried back.
"What the hell!" Ed demanded.
"So much for the scary thing that is here?" Sailor Moon demanded. "Hello! That's scary!"
"I have," Sailor Mars said, as Roy placed a hand in front of her.
"Please, allow me."
"Okay, let him. It's not like he hasn't had any good shots either," Sailor Jupiter said.
With a simple snap of his fingers, flames came towards the plant, and it lit aflame.
"That seemed simple enough," Roy noted. However, with one shake, the fires were extinguished, and the monster of a plant laughed.
"Simple, huh?" Ed said.
"I'll just be happy I didn't do it," Sailor Mars said, sighing.
"That was really good for someone who wasn't a demon or scout!" it laughed. "You all pass."
"We all pass?" Sailor Moon demanded.
"What is this about?" Ed shouted.
The plant seemed to be smiling.
"You have just entered the Trials—of DOOM…"