Chapter 18 - The pressure is to hard to take

16:19, St Gloriana Sensha-do training fields, 16th May

It was another of those school days at campus for Sarah. Slog through the lessons of stuff that would never be useful ever in her life. Keeping her head down, only paying really enough attention for if she was to be summoned to answer a question, which she could reasonably give the correct response which would satisfy most of her teachers.

But the thing really keeping her going was the Sensha-do club. The B team were all on board, well mostly; some of the up and coming girls had joined in a heartbeat however convincing some of the others with the silly names was more of a challenge.

Even though they were rather incompetent to say the least, Sarah did miss having the Shamrock girls around. Their confidence and ambition drowned out most of their inconsistencies and incompetencies but this is what the new look St Gloriana team was missing in bucketfuls and this showed in practice.

"Look, the target is only moving at ten miles per hour. It doesn't take Einstein to know you have to lead the shot," Teapot said in as poetic a term as she possibly could without added any expletives from her commander's seat as Orange Pekoe stood behind the Churchill Mark VII turret watching the 75mm shell lob itself into a large raised part of mudded ground at the end of the firing range, as the tank sized canvas target speed along unphased and unblemished.

"Teapot, I'm trying my best here!" the gunner said. From her tone it was easy to gather her emotional state as she kicked the side of the turret wall.

"Girls, it's fine," Orange Pekoe interjected instantaneously to calm the situation with her soft voice.

Unfortunately for Pekoe it seems her voice couldn't travel too well as both girls started to pipe up. "Just aim ahead!"

"Have you fired a seventy-five before, huh?! I was brought up on two- and six-pounders and it's way…" but by this point even as team commander Pekoe had given up and had already climbed off the Churchill shaking her head, muttering some incoherent words to herself.

"Lady Orange Pekoe, Lady Orange Pekoe!" came a voice which ominously became louder and louder and a pink head girl with a smile as wide as the Ark Royal herself, came sprinting over and with a crushing hug knocked all of the air out of Pekoe's lungs. "The drivers did amazing, we taught them everything! Roselle showed them how to drift and short shift and wheel spin! It was so cool!" Rosehip said at a speed unmeasurable by humankind.

Dissecting the small amount of information she could, Pekoe responded back. "Drifting? Even the infantry tank drivers?"

"Yep J turns and all!"

Looking at Rosehip hoping she would see the non sequitur, but due to her response it seemingly was unabsorbed by Rosehip, she continued hoping to add a positive spin to it. "Did they have fun?"

"Yes they did Lady Orange Pekoe. I swear on the Crusaders' reliability they did," she beamed.

Pekoe, knowing Rosehip wasn't really the greatest book worm, let this little historical slip up slide, 'I mean the tank never broke down on her when using it herself so it's a true enough statement to her,' Pekoe pondered to herself."Great then, I'm going to…" she said as she moved off to the tank shed. A slender shadow fell upon her.

"Lady Darjeeling! You're here! How amazing! I did some great lessons with the drivers today! We practiced a ton of new things!" The ecstatic speedster announced.

"Oh how lovely Rosehip. Have you been following your commander's orders to the fullest?"

"Yes! And never less than 110%"

"Good Rosehip, keep it up," Darjeeling said. She turned her gaze down towards Orange Pekoe, "Ah, commander, hopefully I'm not interrupting you, but may I ask you a favour?" The school uniformed Darjeeling asked, with ever inch of clothing being perfectly ironed.

Not really expecting her previous senpai here and the shocking state of the training unfolding around her, Pekoe began to blush and stumble over every word. "Y, y, yes of course commander."

Darjeeling giggled with a light smile. "Ex commander," she said as she placed a gentle hand on Pekeo's shoulder, passing some sort of calming presence over her. "I'm here to see your vice commander. Would that be possible?"

"Rosehip, could you check on the loaders and if they need any spare stocks of practice shells?"

"Right away Lady Orange Pekoe!" The girl replied, turning to sprint off to the tank at the firing range. "Have a good rest of your day Lady Darjeeling!" She finally said before she charged off not even waiting for the response.

Waiting before Rosehip was out of ear shot Pekoe continued. "Would it be wise? She hasn't really been in the best frame of mind for the past couple days. And not wanting to know personal details but I don't think she has taken the break up very well,"

"I insist, it's a rather important letter addressed to her from the hospital, which I think she needs to have a look at,"

"She's in the mechanics office in the tank shed," Orange Pekoe added, nodding her head in the direction of the open garage door.

"I mean it's a shame I had to do it. But sadly university and my grades take precedence. In time she'll understand," Darjeeling said. "But do you know this saying 'Problems in relationship occur because each person is focusing on what is missing in the other person.'" Before Orange Pekoe could answer Darjeeling had glided off towards the tank shed.

Pekoe rather just stood there not knowing really what to do. All she gathered in a growing ball of confusion filled her mind was she didn't want to be in that office right now, as items of all description may be launched at one's head by mistake or on purpose. Either way she looked around to busy herself with the team commander's business, while slowly dying from within.

Clangs could be heard on the light metal stairs as step after step was being made. Sarah was not really paying much attention to the window, and sat at the table in the middle of the room with the world's most uncomfortable wooden chair. Her eyes were glued to the screen of her laptop with the location of the match finally being released. It was a rather good one to say the least, it was a deep canyon with thick forests covering both banks of a very shallow river that made the basen of the said canyon. All Sarah was really worried about in this match wouldn't be the location but of the BC tanks, but only one certain type of tank. The ARL 44 with its 90mm gun and it's thick hide. The beast was really going to be a hard nut to crack that only the Challenger could deal with reasonably comfortably.

The steps moved to the slightly firmer grilled metal just before the door and the knock was made moments later. "Come in," Sarah said rather nonchalantly, not really wanting to be taken out of her stratagem state of mind just to be interrupted by a mechanic wanting to make a brew.

"Of course you would be here and not with the team,"

The voice, that voice, that tone, it made her skin crawl. The fake motherly tone that she knew was all just a facade to lure unsuspecting people into her grasp.

"As you can see I'm busy," Sarah jabbed back with not any hint of a tone.

"Shame really," Darjeeling said a little teasingly. "If we were still together I could have helped you with that, and plus the office door has a lock and blinds…"

Remaining cool and collected, after many months being with her ex she knew this was nothing but a power move.

"Why are you here, ex commander Darjeeling? I'm rather busy trying to help your protege win a very important match, so if you have nothing to offer me….?" she opened up her palm and gestured to the door. It sounded so professional as if she felt as if she was a top class lawyer. She looked up to hopefully be presented with a gawking face or an angry snarl, but got nothing of the sort.

"This letter for you was sent to my apartment," Darjeeling said, taking a slip of paper out of her bosom, which she had presumably placed it, to rub salt in the wounds, she then holding out a folded piece of paper. "It's from the hospital or more specifically the doctor from the hospital who has been trying to mend you," she added.

"Oh, I told them I'd moved back to… wait! You read it!?" Sarah said. Darjeeling nodded.

Sarah took the letter from her with an annoyed snatch. She unfolded it and skimmed though the letter.

"Further to your recent leg and knee injury… 85% recovery… no likelihood of further improvement… what, what does this mean?" she asked no one in particular. '85% it's better than nothing, I mean it could be a lot worse with all that's gone on with that bloody joint.' She thought rather positively to herself.

"It means, my little broken teacup, that your knee isn't going to get any better," the only other soul in the room stated. "They recommend using the knee brace permanently, not putting undue strain on it, and to be careful on stairs and in icy weather etc. etc.," she further explained.

"Yes, thank you I got the picture," Sarah responded with a salty voice, taking her out of her positive outlook on the situation.

"It's not the end of the world. You're not smashed china, good only for the bin. You're just... well... the chipped cup at the back of the shelf that no one wants to use," Darjeeling said back in an uncouth jokey voice.

"Yeah, go fuck yourself Darjeeling," Sarah just threw back rather blandly.

"Oh, I intend to," she added with a smirk. "I have a nice little party planned tonight with some cute girls and some boys. Of course you're not invited. Third years and people able to walk are only allowed to come. And well you fail on both criteria."

Before a snarky comment could be forwarded back about Darjeelings promiscuousness, she had headed for the door, with her hand hovering over the handle "This is most likely the last time we will ever properly speak to each other personally so do you want to say anything?"

What was she to say? What could she really say? She was in a better frame of mind to start, all the arguments that she had practiced in the long shower of that day and countless following washed back to mind. She could only feel bitterness and resentment towards her ex-girlfriend.

The ideal woman that stood triumphantly in front of her, the hour glass figure, the eyes filled with the Pacific Ocean, a mind so full of knowledge and potential. She could just say sorry, accept she was wrong and everything could go back to the way it was, she could be happy. Would she be happy? Yes of course they had countless differences but that's to be expected in a relationship but that's always something that they could fixed over time. But wasn't the last time long enough?

Things would be different for sure, if she could just feel the tender love that she knew deep down Darjeeling could give her, James saw something in her for Sarah. She could have played him like he did Sarah, being an actress in the spotlight but a new person off the stage.

But the question is...

Does Sarah still love her?

"Okay then," Darjeeling said she opened the door and closed as she left with the door thudding behind her.

Sarah was left there, she was a deer trapped in her own headlights. She must have uttered something in the heat of the moment but didn't know if she did or not, perhaps her actions did the talking for her.

9:29 JSF Battleground, 18th May

The rag tag St Gloriana team moved through the thick mist-covered battlefield along the small flowing stream, with its shallow waters rolling over the pebbles in the river.

"Teapot, can you see anything?" Orange Pekoe said as she tried her best to spot the tanks leading them, with only the small hazy marker light five meters ahead giving any indication of a tank in front of her.

"No Miss Orange Pekoe. I can barely see the end of my gun barrel, let alone anything else" Teapot replied.

Orange Pekoe made her decision. "It's settled then. All tanks are to stop and stay together till the fog lifts."

Sarah sat in the turret of her Challenger, lightly massaging her knee not wanting a repeat of the Pravda match. Sarah listened to Orange Pekoe's message and would have usually protested. But under the circumstances, this was out of her control. The safety of the crews was the most important thing right now and driving a 30 ton vehicle blind was asking for something bad to happen.

"Understood commander," Sarah said back. She quickly switched to intercom "Driver stop the tank." The tank was travelling so slowly, that the tank stopped instantly.

"English, do you think BC are going to take advantage of this?" Jasmine asked looking up so Sarah for guidance.

"They could. But it would just be wrong to do so. But I know Rosehip would be a little upset not being able to use her inner speed demon."

Jasmine turned back to the sights. All she could see was grey and white wisps of moisture dancing around the end of the telescopic sight, not even able to break through to see the dark silhouettes of tanks ahead.

"English, what would you do if you were team commander right now?" She asked vaguely, her eyes still glued to the sight.

"Hard to say really... but what Orange is doing is the right thing, safety first and all that,"

"I know full well Green Gunpowder would have ploughed on no matter what. She would want to smash the enemy."

Sarah looked down to Jasmine. Her words suggested a little dissatisfaction. "So what would you do then Jasmine?"

"I don't know, I'm not a commander,"

"It sounded like You would rather have Gunpowder as your commander? This cautious tempo doesn't seem to fit your style of Sensha do? Should I take this up with the commander herself maybe she might listen to my gunner more than her own sense," Sarah snarked.

Jasmine just kept looking through the sights, not daring to look back to see Sarah. Sarah on the other hand was fuming.

"Fine. No more chatter," Sarah said, opening up the commander's hatch. Using the only useful sense in the conditions, she closed her eyes and listened. The meteor engine slowly hummed.

Time was acting rather unfairly to the St Gloriana team as it seemed to endlessly drag on and on, with no end in sight and the fog not lifting at all.

"Miss Orange Pekoe, they must call this match off. We won't get anything done in this weather," Sarah said, now slouching inside the tank again.

"Until they say it's called off. Then it's called off. Keep alert."

"So we are playing to the whistle then,"

"Yes and I can't remember for the life of me where that saying came from," Orange Pekoe answered back, scratching her head as she did so.

The light snapping of branches, and a rhythmic rattling of pistons slowly made its way around the St Gloriana tanks.

"Can you hear something?" Teapot asked over the radio.

Camomile, now a commander of a Crusader instead of her usual A13 Cruiser, looked around scanning the cloud. "Nope. Nothing." said lifting one of her ear buds up from headphones blazing away loud techno music.

Through the fog eight pairs of headlamps cut though blinding the commanders looking out of their hatches. Orange Pekoe covered her eyes with her hand grabbing the microphone. "Ambush! Move!"

But it was too late a shell slammed into the of Rosehip's turret with two other tanks knocked out in a matter of seconds.

"We need to break out! We are like fish in a barrel!" Sarah yelled over the radio, as she looked out, watching the glow of the shells mixing with the yellow cones of the enemy tanks' headlamps. She scanned around to her left was emptiness with no lights or shells heading in her direction. "I see a gap. North east!"

"All tanks follow English's Challenger full speed. Fire on tanks that you think are close." Orange Pekoe commanded as a shell flew uncomfortably close to her head, feeling the breeze as it whizzed past, nearly taking the headset off in the ensuing wind following the shell.

The scattered tanks began revving their engines and tracks started to rattle on the damp mixed surface.

The Challenger started heading for safety, the shells seemed to dissipate with the loud cracks of cannons firing slowly fading away. Sarah held on to the turret hatch as hard as possible moving her head as far as it could go to her left and right. Then it happened, busting through the fog a shell slammed hard into the side of the Challenger. The flag raised instinctively.

"I'm out!" Sarah called over the radio, but it was too late, a Crusader at full speed smashed right into the back of the Challenger, nearly throwing Sarah out of the turret.

Orange Pekoe Churchill stopped as she heard the crash not too far ahead of her. The Churchill revved its Bedford engine, turning to face what she guessed as the closet threat. A pair of headlights to her right. The 75mm fired, hitting what must have been one of the headlights with a loud scraping noise following the impact.

"Again! Fire again!"

The headlight moved forward, 'the shell must of bounced' Orange Pekoe thought with that a large dark grey blob of mass emerged out of the fog, its features becoming more and more prominent with its ever screeching tracks and barking engine getting closer and closer to form into a tank. An ARL 44, its 90mm barrel piercing the fog, like a knife through butter.

Orange Pekoe looked up to the commander of the tank. "Oshida! NO!"

BANG.

The Churchill was disabled with one devastating strike.

Climbing out of smoking Challenger, its smoke exactly the same colour as the mist covering them, Sarah slowly eased herself out and placed herself onto the ground looking at the road wheels of the Challenger. "Uurrgh. I can't believe we lost to these French wannabees," Looking around to try and find the rest of the platoon of tanks she was confronted by the same impenetrable fog. "Why didn't the judges call off this bloody match it's so unsafe why would they continue?" Sarah muttered to herself.

"Well we gave it our all," Jasmine said, a little defeated but still in an upbeat tone, as she climbed down to stand next to her commander.

"No we didn't give it all because we fucking lost!" Sarah spat out with venom.

"I'm just saying …"

"Just, just don't. You're not what the voice command of this team, you! don't know What was riding on this match you don't understand nothing so just shut the fuck up."

"It's just sensha-do Sarah; there's no need to be so so angry over it, it's just a sport,"

Sarah began to then cackle to herself. "Jasmine just go, run away to Green Gunpowder and all of my so-called friends I just don't care anymore. I thought we were the best of friends. You would be the one by my side through thick and thin, but all you do now is just criticise me over and over and over, nagging all the time. I can't even stand to look at your stupid face anymore."

Jasmine stood there for a moment in awe of what was said. Would she hit her? Would she cry? She just didn't know what to do or what action to take. After a small moment she opened her mouth. " Do you remember… that… girl, Lady Grey?"

"Of course I do; that is such a stupid question we have a painting of her in the main tea room!" Sarah scoffed.

"Do you know what happened to us when it happened?"

Sarah said nothing as she pondered about what was being said.

"That day was the worst day in my life, we watched her burn alive. And all we could do was nothing. All three of us were crying as we walked back to the base. Assam showed us to a small room with three hard, small and uncomfortable folding beds. The room had no windows, just a door to let people come in but we were not allowed out. All three of us were in there for two days. We didn't know what we did wrong, we still don't even know why we were there. Was Darjeeling punishing us for not saving her? I still blame myself for not doing anything to help her. All of us do. But ever since you returned. You were never the same. The Sarah Alexander I knew who was always there for us, the one who I taught to speak Japanese, the one who always was by my side. She died when you returned back here." Jasmine took a few steps back and faded into the mist.

"Fine, fine, I don't care. You don't know what it was like, my brother was taken away from me and you will never understand that! I felt his warm blood run cold in my own hands, you couldn't do anything to save Lady Grey but he was killed because of my actions! Me! I lost everything to Sensha-do. Now this is all I have left! And you're trying to act the victim! No, just no and I won't accept it." Sarah bellowed into the grey abyss. She hoped for a response, a scream of pure anger, an apology, even a hug but nothing came back from the blankness.

The Spring League Tournament: Final Round results

Anzio Girls' High School 3-v-2 Chi-Ha-Tan Academy

St. Gloriana Girls' College 0-v-5 BC Freedom High School

Kuromornine Girls' Academy 3-v-2 Pravda Girls' College

Saunders University High School 5-v-2 Ooarai Girls' Academy

The Spring League Tournament: League table after Final Round

1st Pravda Girls' High School - 29

2nd Kuromorimine Girls' Academy - 27

3rd Saunders University High School - 24

4th Ooarai Girls' Academy - 23

5th BC Freedom High School - 19

6th St. Gloriana Girls' College - 15

7th Anzio Girls' High School - 12

8th Chi-Ha-Tan Academy - 8