Alone No More
Remus Lupin closed the Hospital Wing door quietly behind him leaving Molly, Arthur and Fleur alone with Bill. He walked quickly down the corridor towards the main staircase. He needed to get out into the open air. The battle and its results coupled with his confrontation with Tonks had left his head pounding and his chest feeling tight. Just as he reached the stairs he heard a voice call his name and turned to see Tonks coming towards him.
"Can we talk?" she asked quietly, looking nervous as though she expected him to refuse.
"Alright," he replied, "but can we get outside first? I need some fresh air."
"Sure, let's walk to the Three Broomsticks and we can talk in there. It's not a good idea to stay outside in Hogsmeade these days.
They walked in silence across the school grounds towards the gates. Remus looked sideways at Tonks several times as they walked and noticed that she was shaking slightly. He sighed inwardly. He wanted to say something comforting to her but had no idea what to say since it was his refusal to be with her that was upsetting her.
"Remus," she said softly, startling Remus out of his reverie, "what you said in the Hospital Wing about me deserving better than you, does that mean that you do feel something for me?"
Remus paused before answering, unsure about whether to admit his feelings for her or not.
"Yes," he said finally, "but I thought you knew that already."
"I wasn't sure. Since you always had so many excuses not to be with me I thought perhaps you just didn't like me, not as more than a friend anyway."
"Oh," replied Remus, not sure how to respond. He had never been very good at talking to women about things like this and the situation between him and Tonks had been so delicate for so long that he couldn't think of anything to say that didn't sound foolish.
Tonks sighed.
"Sirius was right about you," she said glancing over at him.
"What do you mean?" asked Remus in surprise.
"He said that you won't let yourself believe you might be happy with someone so you try and keep them away from you. You've been trying to avoid me for months when you haven't been away."
"Sirius told you that about me?" he said incredulously.
"Sirius told me a lot about you," she replied with a small smile.
"I cannot believe Sirius knew you liked me before I did," said Remus, "or that he didn't tell me. He could never could things like that to himself before."
"I made him promise not to tell you," said Tonks as they reached the Three Broomsticks.
"Can we go somewhere quieter to talk," said Remus suddenly as she pushed the door open. He didn't think he could cope with this discussion with other people around, it was too private.
"Of course," she sounded slightly surprised as she let the door close again, "we can go to my flat if you like."
"I suppose so," he said reluctantly although he wasn't sure that it was good idea.
"I'll apparate us both since you don't know where it is," she said taking his arm.
A moment later they had materialised outside a door in a small corridor.
"Isn't this a muggle building?" asked Remus looking around.
"Yes, why?" she replied taking her keys out of her pocket.
"Don't you worry that someone will see us appear form nowhere in the corridor?"
"Not at this time in the morning. Anyway as an auror I'm authorised to do memory charms on muggles if they see magic being performed. I can't apparate straight in because I put anti-apparition spells on the flat. Come on in."
Remus followed her into a small living room which appeared to be decorated in every shade of brown in existence.
"My lease says I can't redecorate without the owner's permission," she explained following his gaze around the room, "my landlady is a miserable old cow, I prefer not to get involved with her so the room is staying brown for now."
"Fair enough," said Remus. He sat down on the sofa while she went to the kitchen to make some tea. He felt nervous sitting in her flat and was anxious about what she might say to him when she returned.
She came back into the sitting room and handed him a mug of tea and then sat down at the other end of the sofa.
"So," she said, "shall we have the usual too old, too poor, too dangerous talk again, or are you going to be sensible this time?"
"The thing is Tonks," replied Remus placing his mug on the coffee table and staring into the unlit fireplace, "you might not think that my being a werewolf doesn't matter, but it does. I spend the days after the full moon completely exhausted and sometimes I lose so much blood that I get really ill. It's hard for me to cope with and it would be hard on you too."
"I know it would be hard Remus, I've known that all along. If you being a werewolf doesn't worry me why should it make a difference?" she said leaning around trying to look him in the face.
"It's not just that. I can't get a job and I can barely afford my rent. I would never be able to take you anywhere, if we went out for dinner or something you would have to pay for me and I'd feel completely useless."
"You're being selfish Remus," interrupted Tonks sternly.
"What?" Remus exclaimed, looking round and seeing the irritated expression on her face.
"You're refusing to go out with me because you're worried that you will feel bad. Did you ever think about my feelings?"
Remus stared at Tonks, taking in what she had said.
"I don't mind about you not having much money," she continued more softly, "it isn't like we would have to go out all the time anyway. If I cared about you being poor, or a werewolf, or older than me I wouldn't have asked you to get together with me."
Remus had returned his gaze to the floor as she talked. He didn't know what to say to her. All the reasons he had said which had appeared so logical and sensible seemed to fall down when he looked into her eyes.
"Remus," she whispered reaching over and taking his hand, "Please don't shut me out. You're lonely, I know you are and I want to be with you so badly. Please Remus."
Remus turned slowly and looked into her eyes. He saw such understanding in them that the little resolve he had left crumbled. His throat felt too tight to speak so he simply nodded.
"Oh Remus," she cried looking completely amazed. She flung her arms around him and Remus responded, wrapping his own arms around her and pulling her closer to him.
He felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off his chest. Even though Dumbledore was dead and Greyback knew he was a traitor he felt curiously happy.
Whatever happened know, he wouldn't have to cope with it alone.
I haven't written fanfic for a few years so I'm a bit out of practice. Reviews and helpful tips to improve my writing are very welcome and tragically enough make my day. I do have a life I promise :)