Author's Note
ISobsessedXO, I read your comment and said, "huh?" lol but now that I've gone back through my story, your right. I have no idea why I rated this story as M. My story is strictly T rated, for now... Thanks for pointing that out to me so I could change it.
NotAContrivance, it's an honor that you consider me a good writer! I'm a huge fan of your story "Consequences" and I think your amazing in your work.
The new episode, Visciousness, was so...interesting. I felt so bad for Tommy because he dropped out in the 7th grade and didn't know what charts were or how to read them. I almost cried...I know it sounds lame. Then Kat and Stuart! Wow. Like I said, very interesting episode. But I loved it, and the new song.
Disclaimer: I don't own the song "Square One" by Coldplay.
"Thanks for laughing at me" I said as I got myself comfortable in the passenger seat of his "special" viper.
Please! He needs to get a new car. I've told him numerous times that it's embaressing being seen in it in public. His eye did this wierd spasim thing then he told me to shut it. He could get a great deal on this car if he would just listen to me and trade it in for something more up to date. But noooo, he doesn't. Nobody ever listens to me anyway.
"I wasn't laughing at you persay...besides I just love your new morning look" he smirked.
"Funny..." I muttered, sinking even lower into the seat.
Imagine what he would do if I slid down to hard and ripped the leather with my ring or bracelet. I'm sure he would be pissed but I wouldn't care. Actually, I bet it would be friggen hilarious.
"So, new song?" he questioned. He slipped on his "shades" which he called them and started the car.
"Yeah...I worked on it last night so it might need some adjustments. You know...sleep high" I widened by eyes.
I'm really considering going to see a doctor about why it's so hard for me to sleep at night. During the day, I'm fine. I could fall asleep right here in the viper if I didn't drule all over Tom's seat. I know I will to. Maybe I have insomnia. Or maybe I'm just a freak who's nocturnal.
"Adjustments are always good" he replied, nodding his head.
He pulled out of the driveway and we once again started our drive along the never-ending road to G-Major. It felt like an even longer drive than usual. I savored the feel of the wind blowing my hair back and how it felt as if it was sweeping away all my negative emotions from my pale face. I never wanted the ride to end.
"Jude? You coming?" Tommy asked.
I opened my eyes to find we were parked in G-Major's parking lot. The ride had ended. Which ment I had to get off (technically get out).
Sighing, I nodded slowly and staggered out of the car and though the studio doors.
Everything was the same as it was yesterday. Same color of paint on the walls, same faces running around looking for something they needed or wanted, and the same tension as always between me and Tommy.
"Let's get started" he said.
We made our way to the studio and I took my place in the same recording booth. I waited for Tommy's signal. Waiting...waiting...waiting...Finally! He gave me the 'ol thumbs up. Psh! He thinks he's cool.
You're in control
Is there anywhere you wanna go?
You're in control
Is there anything you wanna know?
The futures for discovering
The space in which we travel in
From the top of the first page
To the end of the last day
From the start in your own way
You just want somebody listening to what you say
It doesn't matter who you are
Under the surface trying to break through
Deciphering the codes in you
I need a compass, draw me a map
I'm on the top, I can't get back
Whooooaaa, whooooaaa
The first line on the first page
To the end of the last page (you were looking at)
From the start in your own way
You just want somebody listening to what you say
It doesn't matter who you are
It doesn't matter who you are
You just want somebody listening to what you say
You just want somebody listening to what you say
It doesn't matter who you are
It doesn't matter who you are
Is there anybody out there who
Is lost and hurt and lonely too
Are they bleeding all your colors into one?
And if you come undone
As if you've been run through
Some catapult if fired you
You wonder if your chance'll ever come
Or if you're stuck in square one
I didn't realize my eyes were closed. Evidently I was pouring everything I had into the song in that one moment. But what can I say? This song, my song, was what I felt. No, it wasn't about Tommy or my dad or Shay or anyone else who's ever hurt me. My song was about me. My feelings, my emotions that no one ever listens to me or for that matter cares. I'm like a small raisin compared to a huge grape.
"That was good, come on out" Tommy said, using his hand to signal me into the main recording room. Like I don't know where to go dumbass.
I sat down on the floor and waited for him and Kwest to start in on me. Nobody said anything. I hate silence.
"So...what needs to change about it?" I asked slowly.
Tommy stood quickly, fallowed by Kwest. I stood quickly, fallowed by a head spin and minor confusion. More silence. Ok, so, we all stand really quick then just stare at each other. What is this some stupid, new game?
"Come on, let's talk" Tommy said. He then grabbed me by the hand and pulled me out of the room. I glanced back at Kwest just in time to see him raise his shoulders in a look of what read he to had no clue what was going on.
In some wierd fantasy world I would have wanted Tommy to take me into an empty room at G-major and kiss me passionately. I would have wanted him to confess his undying love for me and me only. Then we would run away together.
But this was not Judes fantasy world. In the real world, it would so happen we ended up in a stupid, smelly abandoned room of the studio, that was so small we could have stuck a horse fly in the room and it would have suffocated. Ok, ok I used a little bit of over-exaggeration. But it was still a very small space.
"What's this?" I gestured to the room.
Tommy took a seat on an old folding chair. "You wanna talk?" he asked sternly. If he was trying to comfort me, he needs lessons. Because his tone of voice wasn't at all reassuring.
"To you?" I snorted, "No thanks."
He leaned forward and studied my every move. "Is something wrong?" he questioned again.
I shifted my wieght from my left foot to my right then crossed my arms over my stomach.
"No" I said, looking away.
That wasn't a very logical lie considering I was under Tommy's watchful eye. Dear lord, I'm rhyming! Somebody help me!
The thing is, everythings wrong. Literally, everything in my life is destined to be shit these days. I can't focus on my music with my parents, Sadie, school, and of course Tommy. He doesn't even know he's the major factor of why I'm so miserable! And I'm not going to tell him it's all his fault when in reality I can't blame him for something he doesn't even know he's responsible for. I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown...
I collapsed to the floor and hung my head. He was right by my side though as quick as you can say "Mentally Unstable".
"Everything is going wrong! I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't focus. I can't...do anything" I confessed.
Believe me, Tom's the last person I thought I'd ever be telling this to. But in a way, now, I feel like he's the only one I want to be telling this to.
"I knew something was up" he said, as he took me in his arms.
Once he held me, I can't even begin to explain what it felt like. It felt as if this was where I should be. With him. I know that sounds really cliche, but I don't care. He smelled so good and his cheek was so soft rubbing against my face and his hand caressing my hair and his eyes radiating every type of sympathy he could possibly give and how perfect his lips felt against mine when I kissed him.
It was on impulse. We hadn't kissed since my 16th and to be honest, I missed his kisses. I expected him to pull back or at least break away first but he didn't. I took this as a sign he missed mine as well.
I didn't want to let go of him. Maybe this is my fantasy world that I stumbled into by mistake. He slipped his hand under my shirt just slightly. My eyes widened and I sort of panicked. I never really have been so close to a guy pyhsically like I was in that small room with Tommy.
I broke away first, stupid me. My breathing was very unsteady, as was his. I stared at him and he stared at me. Nothing was said.
He stood and shook his head, then walked out of the room, slamming the door on his way out, purposely hard.
I jumped and put my hand on my forhead, running it through my hair. What had I just done? If I thought my life sucked before, then by kissing him just now I've made it worse. Sometimes it amazes me how stupid and unpredictable I am.
Now, I had alot more than just finishing an album and attempting to make good grades coming to me. Way more.