Author's Note

Thanks for the compliments guys. It's so cool to read them and see what you think I should improve on or what should stay the same. Positive criticism is always a good thing.

Also, I'm going on a trip to Missouri (I'm on Spring Break now) and won't be back till Sunday night. So, there probably won't be an update for a while. But I will definately work on it in the car, it's a long drive. I hope this chapter keeps everyone intrigued and to keep reading my story. Patience would be appreciated. lol Thanks again!

The thing about kissing your producer then attempting to apologize for it is that the producer is most likely a stubborn jerk. At least, mine is. I try to do the right thing for once and bam! it get's thrown back at me. In the mortal words of one Dr. Evil, "Throw me a fricken bone here!" I can't help if my teenage hormones go a little off the chart sometimes. And evidentally niether can Tom because by the way he was sliding his hand up my shirt, I'd say his adult hormones need to simmer down a bit to. Either way, I'm screwed.

"I'm sorry for trusting my gut and acting on my feelings!" I exclaimed sarcastically as I gave him the "stare down". I made the word up myself.

"Not the point, Jude! Do you think I care about a kiss? No! But when your feelings interfere with how quickly and accurately we get this album done!" Tommy realized how loud and angry he was getting so he stopped, persed his lips, then continued on a more calm voice level. "Then that's a problem" he finished.

Let's analyze shall we. He said he didn't mind the kiss. That means he likes kissing me, right? But then again when you look at it from a different view it's not so good. I kiss him and all he's worried about is finishing my album. I hope this doesn't mean that when the day finally comes that I confess I love him he shrugs and says, "Let's work on those chord progressions". I'll be one pissed musician. If I don't fix this now then my future love life mine as well start burning in hell! Say bye-bye. Damn reproduction!

"Ok, so what do we do?" I asked.

I really didn't care what he thought we should do. At the moment, I only cared about what I wanted us to do. I wanted to be with him and anyone who thought bad of our relationship we would tell to screw off. I wanted to rewind and re-record the last few days and never push playback. I wanted him to forget the stupid album and tell me how he felt for once! Do I sound selfish? I hardly ever use the word "want". It's not programmed into my vocabulary. So, forgive me for thinking of myself for a change.

Please don't let him say "Forget it ever happened"! If he does, that ash tray over theres lookin about the right size to throw at his fat head. Don't think I won't. He could actually sue me. He wouldn't dare! Technically I could sue him to. Ha!

"Put feelings on the side for now and concentrate on finishing what really matters" he replied.

"What really matters?" I asked. "Not to be blunt, Tom, but I consider our relationship something that really matters" I threw back at him like a slap in the face.

I've been thinking about hitting him for weeks now. Not just a silly little slap. A full on deck in the face is my idea of a "hit". He'd never see it coming...(insert evil laugh here)...

"Jude! Relationship?" he questioned. His expression was the same as when Chaz surprised him in the studio last year.

That's highly offensive. Having a romantic relationship with me wouldn't be that bad. Having any type of relationship with me wouldn't be that bad! Speed and I sometimes want to rip each others heads off then throw them into the street but then again we are capable of hugging, and making things right. That's the type of relationship I have with him. Love-hate. Seems I have that relationship with everyone. Except my dad. That's just a Hate relationship right there.

Then theres Sadie. Beautiful, Perfect, Never-messes-up-at-anything-and-does-everything-right Sadie! I don't even think you could call what she and I have a relationship. More of a pair of human beings on the verge of becoming an orgy. Just kidding! Sadie can be alright...when she wants to. Most of the time though...how can I put this nicely? Most of the time she's a real bitch. That sounds pretty nice.

"Yes, Tommy. Did I stutter?" I said actually quite rudely. I'm not going to yell at him. Not this time.

"We don't have a relationship that goes beyond these walls. I don't know, maybe...someday. But for now, it's non existing!" he exclaimed.

Theres a big step! I hate that word. Someday. That's another word that's not in my vocabualry. He's insinuating that maybe, in the future, we might possibly have a "closer" relationship. Do you know how happy I am right now? It's pretty stupid that someone can say one sentence and lift all my troubles and worries off my shoulders. But he did. Just by saying that one word. Someday.

I smiled so big I think my lips were actually stretching a goodthree inches. It didn't even occur to me that Tommy was still in the room. When I took notice of him, afterfive minutes of smiling, he was staring at me like I was on crack.

His face made me bust up laughing. Think about it. Your sitting on a bench in the park next to a total stranger and they just keep smiling at you and giving you these wierd eyes. Then they just start cracking up hysterically. I'd say someone forgot to take there meds and is a little coo-coo.

Which is probably what Tom thought of me right then. That I was completely crazy.

"Are you ok?" he asked cautiously. He was acting like he was scared of me! This is hilarious. I think I should jump out at him and see if takes off screaming. This thought made me clutch my stomach. Tommy running around G-major, with his hands in the air, schreeching like a girl, and yelling, "She's crazy! She's crazy!" Classic.

"Yeah! Yeah!" I wiped the tears from my eyes. "I'm fine..." I took a few breaths and tried to remain calm. But once I looked back up at him (he's like 5 inches taller than me), I think I might have spat on him. That's how bad I was laughing. Let's just start foaming at the mouth, Jude! I covered my mouth with both hands.

"Are you...drunk?" he asked, as he swatted at his clothes trying to get rid of there dampness.

Truce...I took like three muscle relaxers and two sleeping pills. That's not bad. It didn't say on the box that they'd make me go crazy and laugh uncontrolably. Actually, it probably wouldn't huh. If it did, no one would by the product. That just shows how desperate and greedy those stupid pill-making industries are.

"No silly" I said. Whoa. The rooms spinning just a tid bit. And I have a throbbing pain in between my eyes.

"Want me to drive you home?" he asked. All these questions! Stop with the questions! I just went cross-eyed. I think I under estimated the power of Sominex.

"I wanna go home" I began to sway. Tomorrow is going to be murder. Think of the embaressment.

"Ok, let's go" he said sweetly. Aw, Tommy's taking care of me. What a guy! Although I didn't expect him to pick me up, I guess it was a good thing considering I wouldn't have made it two steps out the door without collapsing and falling asleep on the tile.

I remember nuzzling my face into his neck and smelling his cologne. I remember all the stares we got from the many co-workers of G-major. I remember holding onto him like he was god and never wanting him to put me down. I remember most of the things that happened...

"Tommy, I love you" I said, right before I passed out and my head hit his shoulder.

Crap. Now that I wish I didn't remember.