Happy Christmas Eve to all!

This is a Captain Swan SS gift for jrob64! Merry Christmas Joni!

For your Christmas present, I wanted to encompass as many of the things you mentioned in your answers to my asks on tumblr, and so I present to you (literally, haha) a canon divergence of the season 4 episode White Out. I love this episode so much too, and had this idea that I thought you'd like! You mentioned wanting hurt/comfort and that you liked some good-old hypothermia, and a happy ending (um, always!).

So here we are! :)

In this, instead of Emma and Elsa trapped in the ice cave, it will be Emma and Killian.

But I need to preface this story by saying there is a very happy, very fluffy ending. I promise! (Even when things seem sort of dire…..) haha.

(I listened to Cornelia Street by Taylor Swift while writing this whole fic. The themes in that song fit this story beautifully, and funny enough, I didn't even make that connection until the later chapters. Haha;))

I hope you have the best Christmas and that you like your gift!

~cosette141

The title of this story and the part below are based off lyrics from Frozen's "Let It Go", which is so perfectly fitting for this fic that I honestly can't believe it. :)

Don't Let Go

(Because I Can't Hold it Back Anymore)

"A kingdom of isolation

And it looks like I'm the queen

Conceal, don't feel

Don't let them in

Heaven knows

I've tried."

Killian followed the ice wall, thankful that his heavycoat was keeping out most of the chill of the night.

After receiving Emma's… what do they call it? Talking call? He'd done as she asked, scoping out the mysterious wall that erected overnight. It was far too high and too icy to climb over, and the cold alone was enough to keep Killian from standing too close to it as he walked its length toward the town line where Emma said she and her father would be waiting.

He heard them before he saw them, and he couldn't help the little tilt of his lips when he heard the sound of her voice.

Stepping out from the trees, Killian saw her standing with her father, both of whom were regarding the ice wall.

"In case you were wondering," said Killian, gaining their attention, "it goes the whole way around."

Both of them looked over as he stepped out from the forest, a comfortable, perhaps slightly smug, smile on his face. He saw something flicker in Emma's eyes when she saw him, and he liked to think it was some brief contentment in his company.

Yet, the look on David's face was anything but.

It seemed like Killian had managed to do something to irritate the prince before even having arrived.

"Hook," said David, and Killian heard that irritation color his words thickly. "I didn't know you would be joining us."

Truthfully, Killian himself was less than pleased when Emma told him to meet her and her father, so he understood the feeling.

Because Killian had built quite the residence on David's nerves, he allowed his smugness to grow. "I get a distressed call from a fair maiden," he said with a flick of his eyes to Emma, seeing her brow raise in an unimpressed look the way he knew it would, "and I'm on the spot."

"I was not distressed," said Emma with a slight roll of her eyes. "And you're saying, what, this wall goes around the whole town?"

"That it does."

"So, once again," said David, "we can't leave Storybrooke."

"Doing more than keeping us inside, by the looks of it," said Killian, eyeing the wall distrustfully. It didn't look as if it were made from do-gooding fairies or any of the snuggly sort. Killian's gaze followed the ice and snow until he saw the large, crumpled metal structure lying in a heap on the ground, surrounded by tangled coils of black cords and broken glass. From what he's gleaned from this town, he's seen them spark what Emma coined electricity. "I guess that's what caused the loss of power?" He asked, looking to Emma for confirmation.

If he wasn't mistaken, her brows rose with surprise. "When did you become a twenty-first century man?" Killian did his best not to let onto the fact that impressing her pleased him. "Yeah," Emma went on. "It looks to me like whoever was putting up the wall wasn't trying to take out the lights, they were just… putting up the wall." That smile of hers faded, once again her attention taken by the endless strings of danger that seemed to follow her.

Her father's gaze followed hers. "To keep us in," he agreed. "Why?"

"Kill us all, one by one." Killian smiled goodnaturedly, even when both of them gave him looks. He shrugged. "It's what I'd do."

What I used to do.

For he wasn't that man anymore.

And the woman not a yard away from him was why.

Some garbled voice laced with static sounded from the driving vessel, and David turned back to go check it.

Perfect.

Killian stepped into the space David had once stood in, finding himself next to Emma. The indescribable urge to touch her, to kiss her welled in his entire being, but he attempted to keep it at bay.

Only days ago, they'd gotten back from their trip to the past.

Only days ago, he'd finally given up his secret to Emma—how he got to her. Trading his ship–his beloved ship–for the magic bean that would take him back to her realm.

And only days ago, Emma had kissed him.

Given into what Killian could only hope—only dream—she'd been fighting for as long as he had.

It was the second time they kissed, yet it was nothing like the first.

The first was desperate and fueled by passion and doomed to be what Emma had firmly said: a one-time thing.

But the second…

She'd proven herself wrong, and she'd kissed him again. Made the choice herself, for Killian knew by now, Emma was equal to that of a frightened animal when it came to anything emotional. He had to let her lead this all the way through. He was a patient man. And more than that…

She was worth it.

That recent kiss…

Killian could still taste her.

It was something soft and sweet and so unlike the persona that Emma puts out, this armor she wears. For as tough as she likes to be perceived, Emma is one of the most innocent souls he's ever met, and also one of the most damaged. And how anyone could damage someone as pure as Emma…

One day, he might ask her for some names, and decide to teach a few people a very painful lesson.

But the other day, their moment wasn't rushed.

It wasn't desperate.

She'd kissed him, and he'd felt himself melt.

Everything he's waited for.

All that time, after all of her attempts to push him away, he'd truly wondered if he was chasing after someone who simply would never want him in return.

She'd disappeared after they'd gotten back from the past, and he'd thought perhaps he misread it all. Even the moments trapped in the past… he could still feel her against his chest, could still feel her crumble into his embrace in a way that suggested she trusted him, in a way he might have fooled himself into thinking she needed him, even for just a moment.

He'd sat outside the diner that night while she and her family celebrated the baby, alone with his thoughts and rum, facing the terrifying thought of what if she doesn't want him? What the bloody hell was he to do then? He'd never call the time he spent chasing her, the things he'd done for her, the times he'd saved her as wasted time. To him, it was a dream, a gift, a privilege that he played any part in her life.

But the idea that she could want him back, that he could have her without having to chase her, without having to fight her walls every step of the way…

It was something he wanted so badly it hurt.

But that night, when that diner door opened, when she'd come outside with a gaze that was looking specifically for him….

His hope had flared, a dying firelight flickering in a windstorm.

"How did you do it? How did you get to me?"

He'd never intended to tell her.

The idea of telling her felt as vulnerably naked as when he'd been forced to reveal the depth of his feelings for her in the Echo Cave. When he knew that even if she'd felt an attraction for him, even if she felt something, it was too soon. No matter what feelings she might have had, she'd fight it to the bloody death before admitting it, especially to herself.

And this, this secret, how he'd gotten to her… it felt just as… revealing, if not so much more.

He'd, more than once, told her how much his ship meant to him.

His ship, for so many years, had been his one and only love, and ever since he and Liam had commandeered the Jewel and since she'd become the Jolly, had been his home.

Until…

Killian took a moment to look at Emma, even when her attention was drawn to the ice wall.

Home was no longer a place to him.

He felt something tug at his lips, looking at the only home he'll ever need for the rest of his days.

He'd been so afraid to tell her such a thing—for he already knew with a painful certainty that he was in love with this woman, far deeper even than Milah, which he once would have never, ever believed could be possible, and only recently admitted to himself—and it almost felt as if telling Emma how he managed to get to her realm was saying those three words all the same.

And after all the times she's pushed him away…

"How about you try cursing the lips of someone I'll actually kiss."

He knew she had been scared.

He knew that Emma knew admitting to Zelena that she felt anything for him was a dangerous move.

And Killian knew Emma didn't mean it.

But it didn't mean it didn't hurt.

And it also didn't mean it didn't make him worry that there was truth in those words.

If he told her what happened to his ship…

If he told her what he gave up for her…

If he told her before she was ready to accept her own feelings for him, if he told her before she even had any…

He was terrified it would scare her away for good.

He was bloody terrified that a rejection from her at this point would be a break his weathered heart finally couldn't take.

But that night outside the diner, that look in her eyes…

Something had changed, after they'd gone back in time.

He'd felt it, he knew it was finally mutual, and that look in her eyes as she waited for his response…

She was ready.

He could see it.

He could feel it.

She might still be as hesitant as a fawn alone in the woods, but…

She wanted it.

And that kiss…

Her choice…

That night was proof that his doubts were wrong.

It was proof that she did want him.

And what he felt from her in that glorious moment, a moment that he re-lived from the moment she'd left him that night to every moment since…

He finally had the answer to the terrifying question he's had since Neverland.

She wanted him.

He knew she did.

But right here, standing next to her amidst the newest town dilemma, he could see it in her face.

Her walls were as solid and imposing as the ice wall in question.

And now that he knew she wanted it, knew that she was only scared…

He was determined to take those walls down completely.

Unravel her, and heal as much of the damage that had been done to her in her life.

"Be patient."

He was a patient man.

But he had a feeling that Emma would only keep running if someone wasn't there to stop her.

"I ran. It's just what I did."

He'd follow her anywhere, but he was ready to not have to chase her.

So, gently, Killian took a breath, and attempted to try to hack at her walls, and reveal the Emma he knew and loved inside.

He treaded carefully, saying lightly, "Oh! I should have brought the champagne."

His abrupt change in subject grabbed her attention, and she looked at him like he was mental. "What?"

"To celebrate our second date," he said smoothly. "And… because we've got the world's largest ice bucket," he added, gesturing to the wall.

"Second date?" she asked, and he felt himself smile wider because she was playing along. "Did I miss the first?"

"Aye," he said. "Snow monster's the first, ice wall's the second." And treading even more carefully, yet rising to those imposing walls of hers, he said, "After all, if I only count the quiet dinners, we wouldn't even get one."

It was a push, he knew it, but he had quite the idea that Emma wasn't planning on making any move herself. It was a slightly firmer push than the more gentle ones he's made since that glorious moment, allowing her to avoid him, allowing her to take her own time.

But Killian knew it was only her fear, those damn walls keeping her from truly being with him.

A man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets.

He was ready to fight those walls of hers with everything he had, one scratch a time.

Killian watched her carefully as she looked away from him, shifting her stance like she was unsure, but then in pure Emma-fashion, her eyes caught hold of a distraction. And just like that, he and his attempts were forgotten with her whisper of, "Hang on, I think I see something behind the wall."

Killian let out a breath, hanging his head a little in defeat.

"Wait here with the ice bucket while I check that out," murmured Emma, still not looking at him, her full attention drawn to the supposed danger.

Emma started toward the wall, and Killian tried to think of another way to approach the subject in a way that wouldn't scare her off when David returned, stopping to stand beside him. "I think it's time you and I have a little chat about your intentions with my daughter."

Killian's brow rose. The tone of his voice suggested this was a long-time coming. Though at least now he understood the irritation from earlier.

Not exactly in the mood, because it seemed it would be years before anything even remotely happened with his daughter, Killian couldn't exactly hide the edge to his voice. "That's a little old fashioned, even by my standards," he muttered. "And I still pay with doubloons."

David swung the flashlight beam around, as if his full attention wasn't on his attempt to intimidate Killian, which was quite impossible. "Remember," said David, "I know your reputation. Emma's not some conquest."

Killian's brow hitched even higher at that, because did he honestly think that's what this was about? David has seen the amount of times Killian has risked his life for Emma, from Neverland to the Wicked Witch, to their trip to the past, where David had physically witnessed the lengths Killian would go for her. Killian would not have given up his revenge and traded his damn ship simply for a good time with a beautiful woman.

Feeling his own frustrated heat, he said firmly, "I wouldn't risk my life for someone I see as loot." David said nothing, and Killian went on, just as firmly, "Whatever we become, it's up to her as much as me." Killian kept his gaze firmly on David until the prince finally turned to look him in the face. Killian held his gaze, and when the prince was still silent, lifted his brow as if to dare David to contest the truth in his words.

David held his gaze, looking the slightest bit surprised at the amount of emotion in Killian's eyes. Perhaps David was only trying to make up for lost time as a father, perhaps it was just his way of trying to protect her when she was already all grown up, but the insinuation that Killian would use Emma was something that disgusted him. And after all this time, for David to even suggest it…

Hadn't he done enough to prove the lengths to which he'd go for Emma?

It seemed, unfortunately, that it was a constant battle to prove himself to both Emma and her family, no matter what he did.

David gave a little nod, but there was still a question in his eyes. Small, faint, but there.

Pirate.

Killian let out a breath.

He'd just have to prove himself.

Again.

But if he was being honest with himself, the life he led and the man they had met so long ago certainly warranted such distrust.

But he was really, really ready to be free of that curse.

Whether he brought it on himself or not.

"Oh–"

Both Killian and David looked over at the sound of Emma's quiet, startled voice.

They could faintly make out the conversation she seemed to have with someone else as both men rushed toward the wall. Was someone trapped in it?

"My sister. I need to find her."

It was another woman's voice.

And with it, a flurry of snow began to fly around the wall.

Killian exchanged a look with David as they ran.

Killian covered his face as the snow picked up with speed and power, making it hard to see and the temperature drop even lower. But Killian could see blond hair fly just beyond the few icy stalagmites Emma had climbed through.

Sudden fear seized Killian's chest, realizing that whomever Emma was speaking to must have created this wall, for they were also creating the sudden snowstorm.

Emma.

Killian exchanged another fearful glance with the prince who seemed to put two and two together just as he did, and David deftly drew his projectile weapon, aiming it toward the figure of the unfamiliar woman.

Emma was still beside her, and Killian could see her now, the fear in her eyes, hair flying wildly, but her hands were out toward himself and her father in a placating gesture. "No," said Emma quickly. "No, it's okay, you don't have to—"

The figure of the woman backed away even as the storm picked up around them, as if the magical ice witch was completely unaffected by the buffeting wind that made Emma, Killian and her father cover their faces from the icy wind.

But it was when the ground shook, the distinct sound of a crash and Emma's scream that Killian's eyes snapped open, panic like a dagger to his chest.

Something struck her, and she fell to the ground.

"Emma!" cried both Killian and David.

Killian watched in horror as ice fell from the wall, cascading down—

Emma.

It was going to crush her.

Killian ran before he could think.

He dove through the structure, hearing the prince's yell behind him but he didn't stop.

He reached Emma, covering her body with his just as the ice struck them both.