Wow! I havn't updated in forever! I'm really sorry! Theres so much that's been going on in my life lately. Plus all these EOI tests coming up. I apologize for the delayed chapter. I hope you like it though...

-Kaley

Ahhh...man...it's him. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to talk, look, touch, kiss, or ever be anywhere near him again! I don't even want to sit in his stupid car one last time. If I could, I would just run. Run away. But, as we've already established, I hate running. Plus I have a touch of Asthma. So that's not a real good plan. Suppose I go into the witness protection program. I could even pick my new name! How about Natalie? Or Rose? Or Jane! Nah.

Maybe I should just talk into the phone like regular people do when someone calls. But what if he yells at me? Oh! If he does, he can be sure that the last thing he'll ever be seeing is my fist meeting his face! Sorry, had to get some of that anger out. What if he rejects me?...I'd be more hurt than mad. In the back of my mind though, I keep telling myself, "Of course he's gonna reject you! He could do so much better! Plus, you're 17..." Ok, Jude, banish these thoughts. I should go on a fast. A fast to "replenish" the soul. Ha! Like I could live without more than 1,000 calories a day. Pshh...

Shutup and say something, idiot!

"Hey...Tom..." I said into the reciever as cooly and collected as possible.

I hope we don't end up fighting. We always fight. Actually, if we were in a relationship, it'd probably end by the third day. On account of I can't stand to get yelled at and not say something back, and he can't resist to yell.

"Finally talking to me?" he asked. I could tell he was resisting a smile. Isn't it funny how I can read people without even having to be looking right at them? Look, I'll do it again. Right now, Sadie is...standing on a street corner, pouting her lips, and hoping to catch the eye of some lucky guy. Amazing!

"Yeah, sorry about that. I dropped my phone" I played the lie off as best I could. You think he bought it?

"Right...Jude, what did you mean yesterday when you told me you loved me? Or are you just gonna lie again and say you don't remember?" he sounded very persistant.

I guess that's a no. I'm the most gullable person in the world and he wouldn't even believe me if I told him his pants were on fire. Or his car was rolling off a cliff. I always fall for the lamest things. Like last week. Some kid told me gullable was written on the cieling...I looked up. Then he told me it was written on my shoe. I spent five minutes examining my flippen shoe!

Gullable people, I mean really gullable people (like me), have the hardest time out in the real world. You could get hurt, used, and abused. Certain people think, "Hey! There stupid enough! Let's tell 'em they have to pay me ten dollars just to ride the escalator". It's really very sad. I'm not pitying myself here either. I just think it's sad when innocent people get sucked into crap like that.

I did the one thing I was best at when I was hurting inside. I laughed. "Of course I love you! You're like a big brother I never had. You're my mentor...my friend" the words echoed.

Don't ask why I just did that, and don't assume it's because I'm scared. I'm not scared! I just don't think I'm ready for him to know my true feelings. Every girl has to keep some secrets, well, secret. I'll just hold onto mine a little bit longer.

He's not supposed to be laughing. "What's so funny?" I asked.

He's laughing to hide his pain. Let's stick with that scenario.

"I guess, I guess I'm just relieved. I thought we were going to have to go through the whole 'Why can't we be more than friends?' issue again. I'm glad I'm considered a friend, Jude" he sighed.

Whoa! Hold up, put your hands in the air! He's happy? He's not supposed to be happy with what I told him. It was a lie! He doesn't know that though...either way, he's supposed to be miserable! Like me.

This is (excuse the language) shit! A little recap...he kisses me, gets fierce, occasionally irritating, jealousy when I'm with another guy, shows me affection and looks at me with those beautiful eyes, then agrees with me when I basically say I don't love him. Oh god! That must mean he doesn't love me. How come he always does the little things that drive me crazy! He knows they do to. Like playing with my hair, giving me shoulder massages after long hours in the studio, and leading me on. I'm so stupid. He does all of it just to prove to himself that he has a hold on me. It makes sense...

This odd, thrilling rush of anger invaded my body. I was boiling. "Well, I'm glad you're ok with it!" I exclaimed. I decided I should probably go outside and talk. I knew I could explode and it wasn't the best idea to stand in the school hallways and yell. I'm ditching, sew me.

His laughter died down after about two or three minutes...maybe more. "Yeah..." he replied slowly. "So, how about tonight we work on that song?" he asked as if nothing had happened.

It might not be important to him but it's important to me! I hate men. I withdraw saying I was the stupid one. He's, without a doubt, completely clueless!

I never think before I speak. You all should know that by now. "I can't, I...I have a date" I said quickly.

What the hell was I thinking? I havn't had a date in the last two months. Unless you count my cousin, Matt. But that was considered more of a favor. It wasn't his fault he couldn't get a date for prom. Poor guy. It was actually alot of fun.

"A date? We have work to do in the studio, you know that! Why didn't you plan it for this weekend or something? Who's the guy?" he questioned.

Uh...can you say, "Slow down with the questions, Bud". I think I hit a nerve. Suprise, suprise coming from someone who claims theres nothing between us and doesn't want there to be.

Panic mode has been reactivated.

What guy was I supposed to tell him? Jaime? He wouldn't believe it. Speed? One word: spaz. Wally? Has a girlfriend. Kyle? He's my buddy! I can't go out with my buddy. Running out of people here...

"His name's...Dylan. You wouldn't know him" Yes! He can't be suspicious about that now can he.

One problem. I don't think Dylan would go out with me considering I practically collided with him earlier in the halls. I don't even have his number. I don't even know his last name. Maybe Jaime has a class with him...I hope. Even if he agreed to it, it would be very awkward. I'll just have to deal with all that later.

"Jude-" he started.

"Ok, gotta go. Bye!" I said like at ultra speed then snapped my phone shut. I leaned against the cold brick of the school building and looked at my watch. One hour and eleven minutes 'til he'd be picking me up. Seeing as my mom won't let me buy my own car yet! I'll vent about that another time.

Until then, I had to somehow find Jaime, get a hold of Dylan, attempt to get him to go on date wih me this evening, and in between all that get a shower. I can't be to upset though. I did get myself into this mess on my own.

Reviews are appreciated:-)