Title : I'll show you mine…

Fandom : Harry potter

Genre : Slash, angst. (slightly AU maybe)

Pairing : so far, Draco/Justin Finch-Fletchley/Neville

Note : Companion to "I thought you cared" (song from the offspringcan't repeat et jars of claywaiting for the world to fall)

Summary : Neville wonders what it's like to have friends; Justin and Draco have to share a compartment on Hogwarts express because they both have some issues with their respective housemates…

I'll show you mine…

If you show me yours first…

Third part

Memories are bittersweet

The good times we can't repeat

Those days are gone and we can never get them back

Now we must move ahead

Despite our fear and dread

We're all just wishing we could stop, but

Life goes on

Come of age

Can't hold on

Turn the page

Time rolls on

Wipe your eyes

Yesterday laughs

Tomorrow cries

The more I think about them, the more I realise that nothing will ever be the same. Best friends my ass. Ernie, Susan, Hannah… those memories I hold so close to my heart sound like an old, distant lullaby.

The games we used to play, the jokes we used to share. The love I had for them…

It's so stupid, the way it all came crashing down on me. The way they all turned their back on me…

The way I drove them away.

Honesty is a plague.

I thought they could understand, I really thought they would. When I told Ernie, I did it with so much love, with so much trust and faith. The shock written upon his pale, childish features will haunt me until the day I die.

Still, I'm getting back on my feet, slowly but surely.

I've come such a long way already. Why would I give up now?

Let's try to take it like a man… with a big, goofy smile at them when I pass by. It's just an opportunity. A chance to make new friends…

And new friends I've made!

Smiling warmly at Neville as he comes to sit besides me on the grass, I take the book he is handing back to me.

"Here" he says softly "I'm done with it. But… I don't know where it goes"

"It's okay, I'll put it away later…"

Two weeks have passed and I've been spending more and more time with the Gryffindor until it almost became an automatism to look for him whenever I enter a room. It's nice, really, having someone who shares my interests in pretty much everything. We both love herbology and transfiguration which makes it even easier to see each other since Hufflepuff and Gryffindor are paired for those two classes.

On the counter part, Draco has been avoiding me ever since I started hanging with Neville. And I'm quite worried about him. His birthday is at the end of the week and… and well… I'm worried.

Sighing, I watch as Neville nibbles his quill, deep in thought.

"Aren't you done with this? You've been at it for a days… what is it by the way?" I ask curiously.

"Potions essay…" he whines miserably.

"Oww" I wince in sympathy.

Snape may be very helpful when it comes to Malfoy but when it comes to this poor Neville, the man is a real sadist.

Still, Neville's cute when he tries so hard to concentrate on his parchment instead of the lake. He likes to stare at the lake when the sun goes down to hide behind the mountains. He's such a kind an innocent little thing that Gryffindor. With his gentle smiles and those deep, haunted blue eyes.

He has grown so much over the years. Well, I guess we all have but… he's changed a lot more than most of our other schoolmates. He's tall now, and he's lost most of his baby fat over summer. His face still holds that innocent look that is so typically Longbottom but his eyes seem deeper, clouded with the ghosts of his past.

So yeah, I know I didn't come up with the last part, but hell! It doesn't fit Potter the way it does Neville.

"So, have you talked to him lately?" he asks, tearing me from my musing. "Malfoy I mean."

"Oh…" I sigh, resting my head against the tree "No… not really. I tried, but it's like… I think he's avoiding me. I don't really know why…"

"Maybe because he can never get you alone" Neville starts, guilt written all over his face.

"Hnnn… maybe" I admit.

I don't really feel like lying to him. I know he's right and all. Still, I don't want to let go of him just yet.

I'm afraid it's been too long to try to find the reasons why
I let my world close in around a smaller patch of fading sky
But now I've grown beyond the walls to where I've never been
And it's still winter in my wonderland

))))))))) OoO (((((((((

But I've grown to understand, over the years, that if there's something I really can't do, no matter how hard I try, it's purposely ignoring someone's distress.

Yeah, yeah… I wasn't sorted in hufflepuff for nothing.

It's obsessing, the way he walks alone, his cold mask of indifference held so firmly, his shoulders so straight as he brushes the walls on his way to the Dungeons.

Stupid, stupid me…

Stupid for addressing him in the first place, stupid for trying to help him out, stupid for worrying so much about him.

Stupid for not being able to do anything to help.

This is such a frustrating situation.

Slowly catching up to him, I plaster my most reassuring smile before calling out his name, just loud enough for him to hear me.

"Hey, Malfoy"

"What do you want, Finch?" he sighs, rolling his eyes.

"Your birthday… it's… coming up this week end, isn't it?" I ask softly, tentatively leading him towards the gardens.

"So…?" he says, watching me cautiously.

"So, I… I was thinking… Oh Hell, Malfoy! You know pretty well what I was hinting at! C'mon, we're gonna hide you somewhere no one can find you and… we'll… errr…" I groan, shaking him by his slender shoulders.

"Very stupid plan, mudblood…" he utters.

Remind me why I bother with him?

"I know! I fucking know, Malfoy! But I've been thinking about it all fucking week and I can't seem to find a better one!" I croak, clenching my fists in his robes. "There must be a way out of this… we should ask for help, do something. But you just won't move your fucking ass! You're just… waiting."

"What do you want me to do? Come up with a plan to kill my fucking father before he puts me in irons to cast the cruciatus curse on me until I surrender to the Dark Lord?" he snaps suddenly.

Horrified, I look around to find a second year staring at us with a shocked look upon his youthful face.

"Shit" I groan, drawing my wand and waving it around "Obliviate!"

))))))))) OoO (((((((((

Once outside, I drag the slytherin by his sleeve until we reach the whomping willow.

"Are you fucking crazy?" I snap.

"I knew you'd obliviate him" he smirks smugly. "What wouldn't you do for me?"

"Shut up, Malfoy, just… shut up, will you? My god, you're so stupid it hurts. You're about to receive the fucking Dark Mark! Do you realise that?" I howl, pushing him so hard that he falls to the floor. "Say something, DO something, for merlin's sake! I can't come up with something on my own…"

"I didn't ask for your help…" he breathes out, losing his eyes on the lake.

"Damn straight, you didn't! You're too fucking proud for…What are you fucking grinning for?"

"The word 'straight'... in your mouth." He grins "the irony of it all"

"What…?" I ask, frowning. "Oh fuck, you're such a dumbass."

But this grin and the smug look on his face don't fool me. I see that glint in his stunning grey eyes. That glint of fear, that glint of regret.

"Don't you see" I ask softly, letting myself drop beside him. "Don't you see I can see right through it…? The mask, the false self-confidence… it's no use, Draco"

"Shut up…" he groans, lying down on the grass.

Too tired to argue, I sit cross-legged beside him, brushing away the few tears gathering on his smooth, flawless cheeks.

Somehow, I can't take my eyes of that blank, tear-stained face.

Because deep inside it's the way I've always seen you. The way you are, deep down.

When I catch the light of falling stars my view is changing me
My view is changing me

I'm waiting for the world to fall…

))))))))) End of Third Part (((((((((