Title : I'll show you mine…
Fandom : Harry potter
Genre : Slash, angst. (slightly AU maybe)
Pairing : so far, Draco/Justin Finch-Fletchley/Neville
Note : Companion to "I thought you cared" (song jars of clay 'boy on a string')
Summary : Neville wonders what it's like to have friends; Justin and Draco have to share a compartment on Hogwarts express because they both have some issues with their respective housemates…
I'll show you mine…
If you show me yours first…
Fourth part
The marionetter has your number
Pulling your arms and legs till you can't stand on your own
Dragging your conscience on the stage
and your heart gets rearranged
and you cannot tell your mentor from your Maker
Look at the crowds bleeding with laughter
Over the way you entertain at beckon call
They don't see behind the lights, or the painted backgrounds
They just like to see you fall
But you don't really mind
Cause you're just wasting time
You can't feel anything
You're a boy on a string
)))))))))OoO(((((((((
Somehow, it feels like every time I try to make you proud I fail miserably. And it's hard to come up with excuses all the time. Excuses…
I'm your lame excuse for a son.
I will never be what you want me to be. Because I can't… and because I don't want to.
And it hurts, just to look at you. Just to see the disappointment in your eyes, just to see the disgusted wince contorting your lean features.
There was a time we used to spend time together. You would teach me and I would eagerly learn everything I could from you.
I don't know how it came to this…
I don't know when you went from Dad to Father and from Father to Lucius.
Now, you're just… a stranger.
And I'm blind without you…
Just as quickly as it was built, my empire crashed down in front of me. And I'm alone now…
Because I'm not you.
Because I will never be you…
)))))))))OoO(((((((((
And Finch is fucking annoying. With his gentle eyes and his reassuring words. Always ready to help, no matter what.
And he can't accept his helplessness. He can't leave me alone.
He just won't give up.
And so I lay down on the grass, tears rolling down my face, trying to look as blank as humanly possible as I let him brush away those tears, because it's just the only thing he can do to help.
But he won't accept it.
"We'll… we'll find a way out of this mess, Draco." He whispers softly. "I'll ask Neville to help, maybe together we can come up with something… it's gonna be alright."
Just what I need. Have Longbottom around for my last few days as a free human-being.
"There's no way out, Finch."
"What did Snape say?" He asks, suddenly.
What did Snape say? Oh yeah, that…
"He said he wouldn't let my father get to me. As if he was strong or influent enough to stop him…" I laugh bitterly.
Surely, Snape has a plan. He must know. He said he would help me…
"Maybe he has told Dumbledore." Justin adds helpfully, resting his hand on my chest. "Surely your father is no match for Dumbledore… no offence of course."
"None taken…" I sigh. "I'm so tired…"
"I know… no teenager should be put through something like that… ever."
And it feels strange… strange to feel so grateful suddenly. Grateful for all those kind, reassuring words. Grateful for the calm understanding in those soft hazel eyes. Grateful for the mere presence.
"Why don't you go to sleep?" he smiles suddenly, looking way too cheerful for a rejected, lonely Hufflepuff. "I'll go and try to find something in the Library… a curse to make you invisible for a few weeks, a potion to render you unfit for the Dark Mark, or I dunno… I'll find something!"
"Yeah, whatever" I sigh, standing up.
Brushing imaginary dust from my robes, I turn around to glare at the castle.
"Thanks… I guess"
"You're welcome."
Damn hufflepuffs.
)))))))))OoO(((((((((
I feel a sadness like Gapetto
watching the life that he created run away
Seeing the puppeteer's intrusion,
and holding the remains of puppets that had rotted away
One day the curtain will not open
And all of the crowds will go away
Someday those strings will choke you, but until that day
But you don't really mind
Cause you're just wasting time
You can't feel anything
You're a boy on a string
)))))))))End of Fourth Part(((((((((