Betwixt & Between

Part 8

"How is he?"

The Doctor spared nary a glance at the Captain as she entered the cargo bay. He tapped a few commands into the console before answering. "Mr. Paris's energy levels have risen since we moved him to the Cargo bay. I've yet to determine a cause for this."

"So he's recovering?" Janeway asked looking over at the still and silent man.

"No. The increase in energy has stopped and shows no signs of resuming. I'll continue to monitor him for any changes and attempt to determine the cause."

Janeway nodded. "Keep me informed." She left the cargo bay and headed to engineering to see how repairs were going.

On the bridge Chakotay was in command. He'd left sickbay just a few minutes before they transported Tom to the Cargo Bay since he had bridge duty today. The Doctor had informed the Captain immediately about the change in Tom's condition and in turn she had told him. Chakotay had already been turning around to take the lift to deck six but the Captain had reminded him of his duties and reluctantly he'd continued to the bridge. No doubt Chakotay was unhappy about being away from Tom and although he knew there was nothing he could do to help his lover he felt he should have been there anyway.

Resisting the urge to slump in the command chair the commander pulled up the repair log on the small console next to his seat. Repairs were on schedule. They'd be ready for another jump in four days, provided the Alorem still allowed them to detour through their space. Upon further inspection Harry had discovered the fatal interaction between the barrier and Voyager's shields. They'd probably need to change their course and their point of entry to prevent the same event.

The Alorem still had not contacted them and Chakotay wondered if the damage done by the Relor was worse than initially estimated. He hoped they'd found something to heal the damage done by the Relor weapon, something, anything that would help Tom because Chakotay didn't know what he'd do if he lost Tom again.

"Hey, Harry!"

Turning around Kim saw B'Elanna jogging to catch up with him. "Hi, B'Elanna. Where are you heading?" It was late. He had worked well into Beta shift in order to help with repairs. Torres must have done the same. In fact Harry was surprised to see her out of engineering so early. She usually stayed there for as long as possible.

"I'm probably going to the same place you are. Cargo Bay Two."

Harry smirked. "So, you and Seven are going to trade baking recipes or is she going to tell you how to recalibrate the warp core?" He could see the rage bubbling in B'Elanna at the mention of Seven of Nine, their resident Borg. He was beginning to understand why Tom enjoyed goading her so much.

"That peroxide-top Amazon couldn't recalibrate a wrench!" And she punched Harry in the arm for the first suggestion. "I'm going to see Tom," she stated. "I want to know what the Doctor has found about what happened to him."

"I thought that Osa would have come back by now. Y'know…just to check up on Tom."

B'Elanna shrugged. "I guess he's busy."

Harry concurred but still, "as a father you think he'd at least stop by just to see."

"Sorry, Harry. I can't help you with that. I don't have a lot of experiences dealing with fathers." She said it with a shrug but Harry knew he'd hit a nerve. B'Elanna's father had walked out on her and her mother and, as far as he had figured out, she blamed her klingon heritage. Before he could say anything, even apologize, they were at the cargo bay.

The Doc greeted them in his usual tone and manner. "Lieutenant, Ensign, are you injured? Bleeding? Dying?"

"…no…" Harry responded unsure why the questionnaire.

"Then you have no business here. I am busy. Mister Paris's condition has not changed, so shoo!" B'Elanna stared at him for a moment contemplating how to decompiled him and then brushed past to see Tom. Harry smiled at the Doc and followed her.

Tom was completely still and deathly pale. In sickbay the imposing medical machines that kept him alive were ominous enough, but with the background of Borg alcoves and technology made them even more menacing. "So what's the prognosis, Doctor?" Harry asked.

"Nothing has changed," he repeated.

"But I heard that Tom had improved. I thought he was doing better."

"You've been misinformed Ensign. Lieutenant Paris's improvement appears to be a fluke. I've determined no cause for it and no indication that it will happen again." The hope on Harry's face faded away and a certain algorithm in the Doctor indicated that he felt guilty. In accordance, he attempted to return some of that lost hope to the young man. "However, Tom has not given up. He's still with us. Nor have I given up. I still have many avenues to venture down. So, if you'll clear the area, I'll continue." Harry nodded and after a minute he and B'Elanna left.

They walked in silence with no destination in mind. "This must be hard on Chakotay," Harry said, thinking out loud. It was hard on him too. Tom was his first and best friend on Voyager. They'd shared many things with each other: their pasts, their dreams. He did not want to think of Tom, comatose and steps from death.

B'Elanna didn't like the depressed expression on Harry's face and decided that they needed to get some air. "Come on, Starfleet!" She grabbed his arm and dragged him to the holodeck while Harry protested the entire way. "Loosen up, Harry! We'll just relax for a few minutes then you can go to bed!"

"I don't know…"

"I'll even tuck you in!" Harry smiled. He and B'Elanna had been getting close for the past few months but nothing had happened yet. "So, let's go!"

They arrived to find a moderate number of crewmembers mingling and lounging in the resort program. Kim and Torres decided to lie in some lounge chairs and enjoy a luxury that was only available to them when they were on shoreleave. 'Soaking up sun' was hard to do when they passed thousands of stars every hour and were too far away for them to be anything more than a streak of light. The holodeck was the next best thing.

"This is nice," Harry said to no-one in particular. He had his hands folded across his stomach and his eyes closed.

B'Elanna nodded in agreement. Harry, Tom and Neelix had done a great job on the program. Neelix had done most of the work but Harry and Tom had added the finishing touches to make it more inviting (and of course B'Elanna had made some additions of her own). They could come here and try to forget that they were nowhere near home and that the life of one of their closest friends was hanging by a thread. There was no guarantee that they'd be able to continue their jumps through Alorem Space and they still had over fifteen thousand light-years to go. They'd shaved decades off their trip already but Tom had nearly died in their first encounter with the Alorem and Relor and now he was on his death bed again. B'Elanna looked over and saw a sad look on Kim's face.

"Don't worry Harry. Tom will pull through."

"Yeah…just like always," he said dejectedly. "What if his luck runs out this time? We're so close to getting home." B'Elanna didn't respond. Harry was in a depressed state of mind and B'Elanna didn't know how to bring him out of it; Tom would know.

The two were silent for a long time. The holographic sun shone down on the officers and more people, both holographic and real, came and went occasionally casting shadows on them. Pieces of conversations floated to them: words, phrases, ideas. It added to the mind-numbing background noise of the resort but an off-hand comment had the gears in the chief engineers mind turning overtime.

"…I know…it's like the sunlight re-energizes me…."

Suddenly B'Elanna sat up, eyes wide. The sudden movement from the previously dead still woman startled the two officers who had been speaking nearby. "That's it!" She turned to the startled officers, one of whom was an engineer under her command.

"…L…Lieutenant…?"

"That's why he got better! He was closer!" The two officers looked at each other in confusion. The commotion roused Ensign Kim.

"B'Elanna what are you going on about?"

She pulled him up from the lounge chair, her klingon strength coming in handy. "Come on, Harry! I've got an idea!" He barely had enough time to get his legs to work before B'Elanna was dashing out of the holodeck. He only managed to catch up with her at the turbolift.

"Would you slow down and explain it to me?"

"The warp core!"

"What about it?"

"That's why his condition improved! When they moved him to the cargo bay they brought him closer to the warp core! I think that's why he got a little better."

"Are you sure?"

"Well… no but what else could it be?"

B'Elanna could tell that they were sceptical. It was written on each of there faces but she knew she was right. Damn the Doctor. Why couldn't he just agree to give it a try? The two of them had argued for several minutes and eventually the Doctor decided to bring the captain in on it. She brought Chakotay along with her and now all the senior officers except Tuvok were assembled.

"Doctor, is it possible that the energy from the warp core is somehow affecting Tom?" Chakotay asked reasonably.

"Of course it's possible. Maybe even likely but I don't know enough about his physiology to say for certain. Even things that could be good for him, in excess, could harm him. I would advise against any rash treatments before I have a chance to run proper tests." He looked at B'Elanna as he spoke.

"I'm not suggesting we hook him up to the warp core and give him a transfusion of plasma!"

"I should hope not," the hologram huffed.

"Enough you two," interrupted Janeway. "B'Elanna, are you sure about this?"

She glanced around before answering. "Fairly. I saw Tom once on the engineering upper deck and he was sitting there in his Alorem form. He told me that he could feel the core. During the warp assembly maintenance we did months ago –it was Tom that stabilized the core while it was running at minimum output."

"I think it's worth a shot," said Kim.

"We have to try anything that might help him." Chakotay was desperate to get Tom back. He'd already spent one night without him. He couldn't face another. It was already getting late and Chakotay was dreading the idea of going to bed without Tom.

"For now, Doctor, I want you to continue running tests. Look into B'Elanna's theory. Have a report ready for the briefing tomorrow before Alpha Shift. The rest of you, get some rest." She raised her hands to halt the protests. "Tomorrow we can continue this but right now we're all tired. Tomorrow when we have more information we can go from there. I want Tom back just a much as you do but I will not put him in danger by attempting something without knowing all the facts."

Harry and B'Elanna backed down, agreeing that they needed to know more, however, Chakotay was not as easily convinced. As the two younger officers left Chakotay aired his argument but Janeway wasn't in the mood to listen. She was tired too. This was her ship. They were her crewmembers. She'd nearly lost one in yet another desperate scheme to get home. The guilt was weighing her down. Looking into her first officer's eyes didn't help any. She could see the pain and longing there. This tragedy was worse for him because he was so close to Tom. Despite his pain, despite hers, now was not the time to be arguing this.

"Tomorrow, Chakotay." She turned away. "Goodnight, Doctor." And she left. Chakotay remained there, angry that she would not even listen to him. As an officer he knew that they had to wait but as a man, as a lover, he couldn't. Tomorrow was hours away; a few long, almost eternal hours away. Sighing silently, releasing pent up frustration he slowly made his way to Tom. He pulled a cargo container close and sat on the corner. He'd stay by Tom's side this night, just as he had done in the last. He folded his arms on the edge of the biobed and turned his gaze to Tom's face. He couldn't even touch him. Being close would have to be enough.

It was early afternoon of the next day when they finally brought Tom all the way to Main Engineering. They couldn't use the transporters while Tom was in the condition so it was, again, a tricky matter of manoeuvring the biobed into the lifts and through the corridors. Chakotay was with them the entire way, as was the Doctor who monitored his patient. As the Doctor had expected Tom's energy readings increased proportionally with their proximity to the warpcore. He had done extensive testing nearly all night and had confirmed B'Elanna's theory but even moving Tom directly next to the warp core would not be enough by his estimation. Tom still continued to loose energy –the force-feild could only do so much. It was not a dire threat to Tom now that his energy level was higher but he could not recover if the wound didn't close.

The Doctor set up shop on the upper deck of engineering, not far from the spot where B'Elanna had first seen the new Tom those months ago.

"One hundred and sixty-two percent improvement," He saw the smile appear and then disappear as he continued, "but still only three percent of normal."

"Any other ideas?" the Captain asked of B'Elanna. Most of them had been up half the night unable to sleep and contemplating how else to help Tom. It amounted to about fifteen wasted hours between the four of them.

"No plasma transfusion I presume," B'Elanna said in a sigh and the Doctor shook his head. "That's what I thought." She thought for a few moments. "I don't know how to get him any closer, short of transporting him into the core."

"It was a good try Lieutenant."

"In the mean time, I will remain here with Lieutenant Paris. Perhaps something will spark my creative genius."

"The rest of you, return to your duties we need to finish repairs." Kim and Torres nodded and after a last look at Tom they headed their separate ways. "Commander, we should try to contact the Alorem –determine if we can still cut through their space and if they've found anything to counteract Relor weapon."

"Alright." They headed for the exit but along the way Janeway realized that Chakotay was no longer with her. She looked back and saw the commander gazing sadly at Tom. He looked very lost just then but he pulled himself together. The shoulders rose from their previous slump, the head was high, the commander was back. He turned and continued to the exit joining Janeway and together they went to the bridge.

How long had he been coming here? How long since those eyes had last seen him? Too long probably. He sighed and leaned back in his dark little corner. The deck was quiet. All but the fewest personnel were at the celebration. He snorted what kind of party could it be with Tom still here? Still here after so many weeks and so many attempts to heal him. He wasn't ready to give up though. Neither was the Doctor but even he had to rest. He deserved a break too. He'd been researching almost non-stop to find a way but there'd been no 'Eureka's to speak of.

He stared at the biobed with the prostrate form with the blinking lights on the medical equipment around him. All the while the core droned on with its incessant hum; it teased him y'know! It held the secret to curing Tom. He knew it did. The swirling column hummed to him a taunting tune, the brilliant blue eddies, reminded him of the eyes he hadn't seen in so long. It was becoming more than he could bear not because he could not live without Tom but because he could. He still came to see him everyday, rain or shine so to speak and while he missed his lover's voice and touch, he was growing accustomed to the loss. He could sleep in bed without Tom next to him. Dreamless and hardly restful, it was the sleep of the damned. Before he'd had dreams, confusing, sometimes scary dreams but he believed that they guided him gave him warnings, now there was nothing, he was lost. And yet he was home now.

The last jump had been completed today. They were in the Beta Quadrant, one thousand one hundred and ninety seven light years from Earth, at the edge of klingon territory. They'd arrived at 1751, Baytart at the helm and Tom still in engineering. It had felt so awkward arriving back in known space with Pablo seated in front of him. He'd come down to engineering as soon as he'd been able. While most went to the holodeck or mess hall for the party, Chakotay came here to his second home, at Tom's side. The area was pretty much off limits to regular crew. The lights were dimmed since no one was really here. Chakotay had walked past the biobed to the dark corner. "It should have been you at the helm," was all he could say. Today it hurt vastly to look at Tom but as soon as he left engineering he'd be comfortably semi-normal again. So he stayed. He wanted to feel as deeply and as strongly as he always had with Tom. And didn't Tom deserve that someone should hurt over him? Wasn't he important enough to warrant some heartache?

At some point Chakotay's legs had given up and he slid against the wall down to the floor where he had stayed. The machines beeped annoyingly, the warp core hummed mockingly, Tom lay silently and Chakotay grew more and more used to the situation, his mind and heart almost ready to close the book on this sad chapter. Still, everyday he would come and sit and wait and hope; hope that one day the hurt would feel like it did at the beginning because he could handle that. He couldn't take normal. Normal was too little and too much.

"Depression."

She wasn't surprised.

"It's appeared as a mild imbalance in neurotransmitters. I've prescribed an antidepressant but he refused to take it."

"He may have chosen seek spiritual healing instead."

The Doctor was tempted to roll his eyes but refrained. "Ah, yes. The spirits." While he was more a believer in science he could not dismiss all the evidence of the supernatural. 'More things in heaven and earth…' Hamlet had told his friend. Even hundreds of years later Shakespeare was still accurate.

"Keep an eye on him but let him seek his own healing." She changed the topic, slightly. "Anything new about Tom?" They'd all been asking the same question for many months now –the last two months of their trip through Alorem Space and the first eight months of the fourteen month trip back to the Federation. In half a year they'd be home. They'd already been in contact with Starfleet and received a batch of letters from family and friends. Tom had received one too.

"I'm afraid not. Ensign Kim's last idea was no more successful than the dozens before. I'm looking into a new procedure it's promising but still only in the planning stages." The Alorem had not figured out anything either. Their survivors of the Relor attack were in a similar state to Tom's but many of them had died. Unlike them Tom had a human half that could be kept alive almost indefinitely so long as they could keep some of the Alorem energy inside him. The other Alorem were not so lucky. Once their levels dropped below threshold they could not be saved.

Osa had spent much time on Voyager with his son. At first he'd been working on finding a cure with the other Alorem but as they ran out of ideas and options he spent more time in normal space. He'd even come with them for the first two months of their journey towards the Federation, two months worth of travel he had to make up alone before he could get back to a suitable passage to Alorem space (though the trip would not take Osa anywhere near the time it took them). He'd tried to save Tom the same way he had when Tom had first been sent to their realm from the Relor attack but after an initial improvement there was no change. Now they could only hope that the medical professionals in the Federation could think of a novel solution.

Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay were once again in the Ready Room. They'd been in contact with Starfleet command using a Klingon relay network. They were still four months away but Janeway and Chakotay had immediately begun looking into the status of the Federation-Cardassian conflict and the Maquis. The information was not as detail as they would have liked but they had expected it. Starfleet would not send any information that they thought would cause problems on Voyager.

They had discovered through Chakotay's personal correspondence that the Maquis resistance had ended with most of the members either dead or imprisoned. It was depressing news for much of the crew. B'Elanna has sunk into a dangerous depression but with the help of Chakotay and her friends she was improving. Chakotay also seemed to be doing a little better. The news about the Maquis was a stumbling block on his road to recovery but when he felt weak he turned to the spirits and they had guided him. He still visited Tom daily but his lover's state didn't seem to weigh on him as much as it had. Kathryn hoped this was a good sign.

The rest of the news from Starfleet went something like this: a few systems had joined, there was peace between the Federation and the Klingons, the Cardassians had joined forces with the Breen and the Dominion, the Dominion had been successfully subdued in the AQ. No details were forthcoming but the war had only recently ended. The current state of peace was in its infancy and just as fragile. There seemed to be worry that Voyager's appearance with half a crew full of wanted criminals and a Borg would ignite the powder keg, so to speak. Even so they didn't seem to be planning to put the Maquis crew in jail. They had been right after all, even if it was for the wrong reason. The Maquis had never trusted the Cardassians, not with maintaining the Demilitarized Zone and not with following the guidelines for the truce set by the Federation and the Cardassion Union. The rest of the quadrant had to learn the hard way what the Cardassion Union was like, and that had led to war.

"Well so far so good," Kathryn sighed as she put down the padd.

Chakotay nodded absently and continued reading. He wanted to make sure this was air tight. They hadn't been able to negotiate the Maquis crew remaining in Starfleet but they stated that "after the debriefings a personnel review board will evaluate each former Maquis crewmember individually" and from there determine who stays. The Federation statute of limitations would take care of some of the charges against them and the sympathy towards the Maquis will put Starfleet in bad light if they were to prosecute aggressively. The Maquis had also been smart group of people. To minimize potential charges were they ever caught, they made sure that as little information as possible was leaked and that evidence was destroyed if they were in danger. The result was that they could only be prosecuted for minor crimes and if they were lucky the sentences would be commuted to time served on Voyager and probation.

Finally Chakotay put the padd down. He rubbed tiredly at his eyes. He thought reports on Voyager were long winded. These Starfleet guys were experts at superfluous language. "Well as soon as we get there, we'll know for sure." He flipped through a few other padds that lay next to his cup of tea. "Have you seen anything on Neelix, Seven or Tom?"

She picked up a stray padd. "They don't have any problem with Neelix. His file was pretty cut and dry. I don't know what threat even the most suspicious Admiral could accuse of a lone foreigner, half a galaxy from his home."

"It's going to be lonely for him here –the only Talaxian, the only being from the delta quadrant. It'll be quite a culture shock for him."

"I don't know. I think we've sufficiently acclimatized him to weird Alpha Quadrant tastes and customs." She smiled at her and he couldn't help but return the grin.

"So, anything on Tom and Seven?"

"They're interested in meeting a person freed from the collective but they haven't given any details." She picked up and discarded a few more reports. "Nothing on Tom."

"They got his file right? They know about how he's changed."

"It was all there. I can't speculate as to why they haven't said anything about him but there's no way they can put him back in prison."

"Is his sentence over?" Strangely Chakotay never thought to ask Tom how long he was sentenced for. In the beginning he just didn't care. He figured that Admiral Paris would look out for his son.

"No. There's still six years minimum to go. They couldn't lay on too many charges. They couldn't definitively prove he was working for the Maquis but they gave him the max far all the other crimes."

Chakotay closed his eyes and wondered what would have happened to Tom had he been in Auckland for ten years. It was already plain to see (for those who chose to look) that his incarceration had affected him. How much of it was and would have been his fault? Before, the indifference had shielded him from the guilt but now, he was vulnerable to all the pain he had helped cause.

"They won't do anything Chakotay. Tom won't be well enough to go to prison even if he woke up tomorrow. I also doubt that Auckland would be able to hold him. Given his Alorem abilities I don't think there's anyway to imprison him if he doesn't want to be."

Chakotay nodded silently in agreement but that didn't negate the fact that Tom still had a prison sentence hanging over his head.

Weeks had passed and in another set of letters from home they finally received word about Tom's status. Starfleet was going to put Tom on probation pending a full inquiry. They also sent some information from Starfleet medical researchers who had been informed of Tom's condition. They theorized that the energy of the warp core needed to be modified just like a blood transfusion between species had to be modified. They'd sent schematics of a device they thought would be able to do the job but the Doctor and B'Elanna were sceptical. The holodeck simulations were not highly promising and Chakotay, next-of-kin or not, refused to have a procedure done that may endanger Tom's life.

They had just reached the two month mark on the countdown to home when Osa and Nie caught up with them for a visit.

"How is he?" Osa asked Chakotay. He was aware of how Tom felt about this man and knew that the feelings were returned.

"Still the same." His voice was level.

"You're Federation has not been able to help?"

A sigh. "They tried but it's not enough."

"May I see their attempt?" Osa tolerated Chakotay's brief scrutiny before the other man shrugged and went to a nearby console.

"The doctor's made some modifications to improve the device but it's just too unstable to risk." He indicated the schematics on the screen. Osa remained silent as he perused the data. Their own Alorem experts had conceived a similar concept –an energy transplant –but there was no universal donor, not in Alorem space anyway.

"Your warp core is compatible." It wasn't quite a question but Chakotay felt he should clarify.

"It's similar. Tom had told a friend of his that he could feel the warp core and that the energy resonated with him. His condition improved a little when we relocated him to engineering."

Osa nodded to himself thinking rapidly. "This could work." He turned to leave.

"Wait! What is it?" Chakotay asked.

Osa ignored him and detoured to Tom's side. He placed a pale hand on Tom's shoulder and whispered something to him.

"Osa!"

Finally the taller man faced him. He placed his hands on Chakotay's shoulders. "It could work. I need to speak with Nie but I'll return swiftly." Before Chakotay could say anything the man was fading away.

Ensign Kim stood at the side, far enough away not to interfere but close enough that he could see. He wanted to help but they said that there was nothing he could do. The chief engineer was present to monitor the core. The Captain was there because she was a scientist and could help. Chakotay was there against the Captain's better judgement –you wouldn't want a person's family member to watch as they underwent brain surgery –but he would not be kept away. She had been mildly surprised at his insistence. Lately he'd been very calm, very collected, very commander-like. She had thought (half angrily) that he was over Tom. He was coping almost too well.

The Doc was there for obvious reasons and then there was Nie and Osa. They would be the one who did most of the work. It didn't seem possible –to go into the warp core –but that was the plan. Yesterday Kim had been helping B'Elanna place the Modifier on the port plasma injector. It changed the plasma and then they had it shunted back into the core. They allowed the process to continue until the core was filled with 99.999 modified warp plasma.

Initially they'd intended to use a separate chamber but the plasma lost its kinetic energy too rapidly once it was out of the core. Now all they had to do was put Tom inside and make sure he didn't burn to a crisp. That job went to Nie. Osa had volunteered but after what was assumed to be an argument between the two masses of glowing energy, Osa conceded.

The final preparations were complete. Now was the moment of truth. The Doctor turned off the force-field that had kept him alive for these many months. The medical devices were disconnected and Tom was still and silent. Nie quickly scooped him up, his large frame having no trouble with the extra weight. Just at the threshold of the warp core Osa approached and touched Tom's face gently. He mumbled a prayer and leaned over to touch his forehead to Tom's.

"We'll both be back," Nie promised. He stepped confidently forward and into the swirling blue mass that could easily kill them but just might save Tom.

Chakotay watched silently. He had double and triple checked everything but it all came down to trust. He trusted Nie to keep Tom safe. He had to because he had realized this chapter of his life was not ready to end, not now, if ever. He could not go back to the way he was. Contrary to what his friends and colleagues conjectured, he was not coping, he was numb.

End Part 8

Sagga Bott…