Chapter 19
Draco Malfoy has never been hurt to the point of extreme mental breakdown. No punch or kick or combination has ever made him hate himself for not reacting quickly. He has blown it, he lost her.
He has lost the one thing he had been dreaming of, the one thing he had loved. He had lost his will to live. He grew worse every single day and Pansy noticed.
"Draco? Are you okay?" she would ask again and again every single day.
"Leave me ALONE!" he would shout back at her then skulk back to his empty room where he would stay for the rest of the day and have his meals brought up to him.
Pansy knew Draco as one who would get up when he fell. She knew he loved Hermione very much and Pansy had a little hate towards the girl for bringing Draco to that state. She had given up on Draco and had also moved on. She only saw him as a big brother now but he won't even see Marco.
The child had also stopped speaking again. Pansy knew it was because he could feel Draco's pain. She wished she could convince Hermione to speak with Draco but she also knew it would be a miracle if Hermione hadn't killed her the moment she would see her.
She just sighed and frowned. She did not like this feeling of complete uselessness. She wanted to do something about it! Not just sit here and watch the remnants of this emotional battle.
She suddenly had an idea. She quickly got on her feet and grabbed some floo powder.
She had to hurry.
She shouted her destination and arrived.
"Blaise!" she shouted.
Blaise Zabini walked in.
"Hey Pansy. What's up?" he asked.
"Is Hermione here?" she asked.
"Hermione? Why would she be here?" he asked confusion in his features.
"Didn't Hermione choose you over Draco?" she asked a little put out. Hermione wasn't here?
"Hermione's still a friend but we would have never worked out. But I thought she chose Draco?" he said sitting down on one of the couches.
"What! But she broke it off with Draco! I assumed she chose you!" Pansy needed an explanation.
"No way. Here, sit down and ill tell you what she told me, word by word."
Blaise POV
Flashback
"Naturally unreal." Blaise said surveying her from behind.
She turned around and smiled.
"Blaise." She said with a loving voice.
"Hey Mione." He greeted coming closer.
She back up a little.
"Look, I don't think we should go out anymore." She told him.
He was a little taken aback.
"Um… okay… but why?" he asked.
She broke down in tears right in front of him.
"Hey… You're breaking up with me. I should be the one in tears." He joked.
She laughed a small laugh and looked up at him.
"It's just that… I've pained so many people now. I… don't want to anymore. I want everyone happy." She said.
"It's Draco isn't it?" he asked sincerely.
She stopped crying.
"How did you know?" she asked.
"Sort of obvious really. I knew you liked him and he loved you but I wasn't sure." He smiled.
"You're okay with it?" she asked wiping her tears.
"Of course I am. You're one of my best friends!" he smiled at her.
"Your one of mine too."
"Good. Now tell me why you're so sad."
"I want to be with him but I cant." She explained.
"Why not?" he asked.
"I got too hurt last time. I can not go through it again. I'm afraid he might hurt me." She confided.
"But how do you know that?" he asked.
"I don't. But I think he will. I have planned this all out in my head and it won't work with us. It just wont." She said.
"Hermione, that's what your problem is." He laughed a little.
He pointed to her head.
"It's not up to your head…"
He pointed to her chest.
"It's up to your heart. What does it say?" he asked.
"That it would be alright to fall for him again." She confessed.
"No Hermione. You already fell for him." He told her.
"But I wont let anything happen." She told him stubbornly.
"What? Why?" he asked.
"I… I just don't think he is ready for this… I don't think I'm ready. I have to wait. If we meet again another day and I fall for him again and we're both ready then maybe then we would be together. But not now. I'm not ready yet." She said a tear falling down.
"Okay. Well, it's about time you have a touch-up. You look like a troll." He joked.
She laughed.
"I'll wait outside. Don't worry. Just wing it later." He smiled.
They hugged and he went outside to wait with the other guests.
End Flashback
"If that's what happened then… How can we help?" Pansy asked.
"Whoa… wait a minute. We? I never agreed to anything." He said.
"You have to help! They need all the help they can get!" she told him.
"No way."
"Please?" she said putting the puppy dog eyes in place.
"Not the eyes! Not the eyes! Fine. What do you propose we do?"
"Well…"
Draco POV
Draco was in a bad state of mind. He just drank and drank every day and night. He had not had a wink of sleep for the past few days. He felt like there was no more life to live. No more point to it.
He drank the last of the firewhisky and threw the bottle aside hearing the sound of glass breaking.
"Hermione…" he grumbled.
He suddenly was standing up.
"Why!" he screamed to the ceiling.
"Why!"
He fell to the floor.
He had a last glance at the door and saw a pair of shoes in front of him.
"Hermione…" he grumbled before he blacked out.
He had awful dreams. His dreams were filled with the memories of his last encounter with her.
Flashback
"Draco… we can't…" she said, her eyes welling up in tears.
"Why not Hermione!" he asked.
"It's… I…" she cried. She had broken down and cried, Right in front of him.
He quickly enveloped her into a hug.
She pushed him away.
"No." she told him.
"What?"
"No… I can't... We can't…" she tried to explain.
"Cant what!" Draco exploded. "Be together!"
She just nodded.
"Why!"
"I… I just can't Draco. We have hurt too many people and will hurt even more. I will be no part of this." She cried dropping to the floor.
He knelt down at her.
"I won't lose you again Hermione. I have already had a life without you and it was a life I can not live again. You are the one thing in this world that makes me get out of my bed and live. You are the only thing keeping me from going on to a place unknown to me that is filled with sorrow and regret. Don't make me go and giving me a one-way ticket there! I don't want to be without you ever again. You are the reason I am alive!"
Hermione cried even more.
"I… I'm sorry." She whispered.
End Flashback
He awoke with a start as cold water was splashed all over him.
"Bloody hell!" he shouted.
"Wake up Ol' buddy boy." Blaise greeted with a bucket in hand.
"You!" he pointed at Blaise.
"You took her!" he said and pounced on Blaise.
Draco started punching every part of his 'old friend' he could find.
Since he was intoxicated he did not notice he was beating up a couch.
Pansy placed a glass of some stabilizers on the table next to him.
"Drink it Draco." She ordered.
"What is it?" he asked.
"DRINK IT NOW!" she screamed.
Draco obliged and drank the whole thing in one gulp.
He suddenly felt better and all traces of alcohol left him.
He suddenly felt replenished. As if he just woke up.
"What is he doing here?" he asked Pansy.
"He had some information I think you would want to hear." She said calmly.
"No way. Not from him."
"JUST SHUT THE BLOODY UP AND LISTEN!" she shouted.
Draco shut up.
"I have to explain it again?" Blaise asked.
"NOW!" she shouted.
"This is going to be a long day…" Blaise sighed.
Hermione POV
She sighed as she hugged her best friend goodbye.
"Hermione, do you really have to leave?" Ginny asked.
She nodded.
"I just have to Gin. I have to take this or else I think I would completely break down. I need this." She explained with tears in her eyes.
"Write to us." Harry said also taking her into a hug.
"Of course." She smiled.
"Where are you going again?" Ron asked.
"To Beauxbatons for a teaching job. I'm teaching Charms there." She smiled as she got a hug from Ron too.
"Do you really have to take the job there? Why not Hogwarts? I heard they need another Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and Potions too. Old Snape finally retired." Harry tried.
"I'm sorry Harry but no can do. I have too many memories there. I have to go." She said.
She was greeted by one last group hug.
"Bye Guys…" she said as a carriage appeared out of thin air.
"when are you coming back?" Ginny asked.
"When I'm ready. I'm not sure when that will be but I will write to you. I'm sorry but I won't visit, okay? I need time. Don't visit me either. Don't worry. I'll owl you." She smiled at them.
"Take all the time you need." Harry told her and they waved to her goodbye.
The carriage disappeared in an instant and Hermione was on her way to a new hope… a future she was unsure of and strangely, she liked it that way.
A couple of hundred miles away…
"She what!"
"She loves you."
Authors Note:
Please review! I worked hard on this! Okay… maybe the drunken Draco could've been written better but hey! I have never been drunk before. How was I supposed to describe it?
Love you guys! Please review!
Sorry that i havent updated sooner! I kept trying but wouldnt let me log-in! I've ben trying for days now. Oh well, this time it worked! and i updated! That's all that matters right?