Chapter 22
Hermione sighed as her students knocked on her door.
She opened it and they all came in.
"Hello girls." She greeted half-heartedly.
"Ms. Hermione? Why don't you love Mr. Malfoy anymore?" Daniela asked.
"Um… Girls… I don't think I can talk about this right now." She pleaded.
"Why not?"
Suddenly, another knock came on the door.
She opened it and more students filed in.
"About Mister Malfoy…"
She did not need this right now.
"MALFOY!" she shouted to let Draco know that she was mad… no, she was furious.
She asked all the girls to leave and put on her coat.
They all hurried out. No one was scarier that Hermione was at that exact moment.
She went outside and spotted Draco right in front of her.
"Hermione, I…"
"Inside. Now." She barked.
He obliged and entered Hermione's house.
"Draco! Did I not tell you that we can't be together? What did you get the girls to interfere as well? Why? Why can't you just leave me alone? Why can't you just let me live my life? Why must you torment me!" she shouted at him, her tears were hardly hidden anymore.
"I… I'm sorry. But… I still love you. No matter how hard I try, I still love you." He said and began to leave.
"I wont lose you again…" he whispered and disappeared.
Hermione shut the door as hard as she could and lay sobbing on the floor. How could she show him it was over? She just had to let him know.
'But is that really what you want?' a small voice in her head said.
'Of course!'
'I don't think so. I can see right through you. You still love him. You just don't want to hurt yourself! Talk about selfish.'
'Shut up! All lies!'
'Sure… keep telling yourself that, honey.'
'I don't love him. I just like him as a friend but I know he won't agree to that… and…'
'And because you know you'll end up together again if you become friends… again.'
'No way! Stay out of my life!'
'How could i? I am you.'
The little voice laughed and Hermione sobbed as reality finally hit her.
She still loved him. After all she had gone through with him she still loved him. No matter how crazy it was she did love him. Maybe fate had wanted to split them up. Maybe Blaise was right. We did make our own fate.
Blaise chose his when he agreed to stay friends, Harry and Ginny decided theirs by getting married; Ron made his choice when he finally got the courage to ask Lavender out and Draco… Draco decided his fate when he came there.
She suddenly felt so inadequate. All her friends knew what they wanted in life but her? What did she want? Did she want to stay there until she was as old as McGonagall? Did she really want to be single all her life? No. Somehow she knew she didn't.
She knew she wanted something. Something great. Something she was dead sure of.
But Love wasn't sure. It had twists and turns and it has hardships and pain. No Love goes without suffering. No Love would ever last without tears. With a single sentence love could kill you from the inside. She didn't know what love was. She… finally admitted it. Hermione Granger did not know everything. She was human. She had made mistakes, she was not perfect in anything she thought she was; she was… flawed. Normal.
She hugged herself tightly as a chill ran down her spine. What if that was all that was left to her. She was pushing back true happiness and embracing tears. Why did she do that?
'It's your pride you prat.' The voice returned.
She didn't feel at all like arguing so she sat and listened to all she needed to her… from herself.
'The only reason you are afraid is because you feel inadequate. You feel as if you may not bring him joy and he would leave you for someone new the second you break. But you're wrong. If he would desert you he could have done that, hours ago. In fact, years ago.'
She could hear the words yet she couldn't grasp it.
No matter how hard she tried she couldn't believe.
She did not believe in destiny but she believed in making her own fate. She was… confused. She did not know what to believe.
She had to sort out all her feelings. She just had to.
But the nerve of him. To ask her students to question her. She did not need all that. If he wanted a talk he should have just asked.
'But would you have listened to anything he said? Would you have actually given thought of what he would have proposed or said?' the voice questioned.
Hermione had to swallow all her pride to answer that question.
No. She wouldn't have thought about it. She wouldn't give him the time of day. She would still be seething.
But if all she was doing right now was that same outcome to what would have happened that what was the difference? He was there for her and she wasn't. He listened to what she had to say and left without anymore word to offend her.
What had she done?
She had pushed away the one man she finally admitted… to still love. She had pushed him away in his most fragile moment. She had denied him of her love.
But what was she to do now? She couldn't just walk up to him and tell him she wanted him back. Her pride could not accept that.
What was wrong with her? She was so proud. How could she be this way?
Love was not proud. It was giving and she had to give him what he deserved.
She had to finally swallow her pride and talk to him. He had swallowed his pride, why couldn't she?
She had always loved the quote that her muggle friend told her…
The only time you would succeed is when you finally admit you have failed.
She had failed. She had failed in pushing him away, she had failed in trying to run away and she had failed… to stop loving him.
She finally felt free.
It was like she knew her spirits could finally soar. If only she was complete. She felt as if she was a wizard without a wand, a knight with no shield… a woman with no man. She needed him. He was what made her perfect and without him she was just a woman without a cause. She hadn't realized but she was lost without him.
Not that she wouldn't live. No she would but she had nothing to live for. He was that very reason she had been put to this earth. He was… her match. But he needed to hear all this. He deserved it.
She had to… she had to learn to accept her faults and to finally admit her mistakes. Starting with the very first and greatest mistake of all.
Authors Note:
Hey! I hope you like it. It's very confusing. I know. I have no idea what I was thinking writing this. Oh well. Next chapter is going to be extremely… sad. I know. I'm so mean. But it the way it has to be. By the way. I'm not sure but I think next chapter is the last chapter to this wonderful tale of love and sacrifice.
Ciao!
By the way, I would like to thank all who have reviewed this story. The next chapter is dedicated to all of you.
I would like to thank all of you. If it wasn't for you my life would have been hell right now. Please take this moment to applaud yourselves. You have somehow saved my life.
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Okay that's over with. HeheÜ. Have a nice day! (Or night in some cases)
Oh yeah. Announcement! Unless you already know, Harry Potter 6 is coming out so I am so going to be so excited! I'll be right at the front of the line! Whee!
Hope that my momentary relapse was for your enjoyment.
Forever yours,
Sam-derevko