Welcome! and Merry Christmas!
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Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me, otherwise the NejiTen would be canon.
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Enjoy.
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The distant sound of what sounded like a melody brought him out of his own head, getting up from his desk to go to the window and peek out. It was a different time of the year, and this could be noticed in the various lights that glimmered in most of the doors and windows of the village, denoting the festive air that should surround everything. The song he heard was intoned by a group of children who were in front of one of the houses, a house where a couple smiled while listening to them. A Christmas carol whose lyrics made no sense at all but for some reason everyone ignored that fact and just smiled every time it was played.
He didn't quite understand it, although much of that could be due to the fact that Christmas was a quintessential family moment and, in his case, well, in his case his family had hated him and tried to kill him since he was just a child. And even though circumstances had changed, it wasn't unusual for him to still not know how to behave or feel at ease at Christmas time. Despite the constant efforts of his siblings to try to repair, or create, a good relationship between them.
He spent several minutes simply looking at the village, not focusing only on the children but on all the lives that lived there, and whose fate was now in his hands. His job now was to protect them at any cost, it was what he had accepted when he was appointed kazekage, and he was sure he would do his best to achieve it.
The song ended and then he could hear the voices rising, so he looked back at the group of children, they were all pointing at him. He stood still not knowing exactly what to do, all his life he had been pointed at and treated with contempt, it wasn't the action itself that surprised him. What surprised him was that the hands stopped pointing at him and now began to move from side to side while smiling, including the adults who also repeated the action. They were waving at him.
Not entirely sure what to do, he simply raised his own hand and waved it from side to side, mimicking what they were doing, now hearing some laughter as they waved their hand more before starting to walk to the next door. He watched them ring and waited for a new family to open to resume their singing. As he lowered his own hand, he could see that the couple from before were still watching him, nodding slightly in his direction and subsequently disappeared from his sight.
He waited a while longer still by the window, letting his head wander on how strange it all was to him. Those smiles, that nodding as if approving of his work, that everyone in the village had accepted him as the new leader, and decided they would put their lives in his hands when all his childhood they had rejected him and even tried to kill him. He was grateful that the contempt was no longer there, that thanks to Naruto he no longer saw himself as a monster, but it was still strange to him the change that everyone else had towards him.
He had grown up among hatred, starting with his own parents. Among the fear he provoked in absolutely everyone around him, including his siblings. Among several assassination attempts, including that of his uncle. First without understanding what he had done to deserve to be treated that way and then accepting that that was him, a bloodthirsty monster who would never be accepted by anyone, neither loved nor understood. Just an aberration that no one wanted to have around.
Those had been the predominant thoughts in his head for most of his life, understanding in passing that fear was a good way to get others to obey him. But everything changed after that fight with Naruto, after he began to understand who was the creature that resided within him, and that he wasn't the same as that creature, that neither of them was a monster nor had they asked for anything that had happened to them.
But it was hard for him, so many years of conceiving himself that way didn't disappear out of the blue, and that's why many times without realizing it, thoughts of self loathing returned. Being unable to trust anyone, being suspicious of everyone around him, and always on the lookout for any new assassination attempt that could be made on him. Instead what he was getting was just that, villagers waving at him from afar and smiling in his direction.
He returned to his desk not wanting to think any more about it for the night, deciding it would be best to focus on his work for a while longer. He never used to have work on hold, despite the time of year and the fact that many of his advisors had decided to take days off. He still used to be in the office every night to make sure he was aware of everything that was going on in the village.
As 3:00 a.m. approached he felt his eyes close on their own and his head drift forward. It was another night he had stayed up late working and he was beginning to feel tired. He moved his neck slightly from side to side before standing up and going to a corner of his office, sitting on the floor in a meditative position. Slowly he began to breathe calmly and deeply, letting the drowsiness wash over him. As he began to doze off more and more the sand left his gourd, completely surrounding him just as he drifted off to sleep.
Many years he had feared falling asleep, feared that during those moments when his guard was completely down the Shukaku would begin to devour his soul, taking over completely to kill people. It had been years in which insomnia was his only faithful companion every night, unable to neglect himself and fall asleep for more than short naps so as not to allow the beast to be unleashed. That was the reason for his ruthless and unstable personality in the past, his thirst for blood.
But given the change he had made in his life, and in the way he related to the bijū within him, he could now sleep a little more. There were 2 types of mistrust which surfaced at night and were the reason why it was not many hours that he did so. The first was that he still feared for his soul, that the Shukaku would break free when his guard was down and kill innocent villagers. The second was distrust of others, just as in the day he watched for any attempted attacks by the people around him, there was no exception at night, that someone would try to take advantage of him in his rest.
That was why he slept surrounded by sand, his supreme defense was activated while he rested. It was partly his decision, partly Shukaku's decision, but it was the only way to get his eyes closed for more than 3 seconds, he also didn't feel comfortable to go to the apartment and sleep in what was technically his room. Anyway, it was only a couple of hours that he gave himself to the dream world before waking up again to continue his work.
•──•─•──•✦•──•─•──•
In the mornings he liked to go to the greenhouse and spend some time there, he had as a hobby growing plants. Many things were strange in his life nowadays, or they had been before and what he had now was the normality he should have been in since his childhood, the point is that it was his siblings who built that greenhouse for him, and had given it to him as a birthday gift.
Neither Kankuro, nor Temari, much less him, knew how to start creating a sibling relationship, sometimes while eating they would all sit in the dining room in complete silence. Many times he had heard them talking to each other, telling each other about their days, or his sister complaining about everything around her, even if he was present they didn't include him, they had never included him. But now they wanted to include him, they were looking for a way to put aside the fear they had had of him in the past, and see him as the younger brother he had always been.
It was hard for them, they didn't know what to talk about. With his promotion to kazekage there was a first step, they recognized and admired him as the leader of the village, so talking about plans to improve the future of Suna had been a starting point. After that it was one or another personal question that he didn't always know how to answer. Bloodlust had blinded him so much before that he had no idea what to answer when he was asked if he had a hobby. He had thought about it for a couple of days before answering that he liked plants, and with that answer his siblings gave him the greenhouse in which he now spent time every morning.
In such a way he spent his free time, not only in the greenhouse with the plants he had planted there, but reading books on gardening so that he could be the one to take care of them himself. Learning about soil substrates, types of fertilizer, insecticides and other necessary subjects, proudly seeing how not only the village under his care was safe, his plants were safe as well.
With slow steps he returned to his office, responding with a nod of his head to the various greetings from the villagers on his way. Taking up what he had thought the night before about now being accepted by others. Already at his desk he saw that there was a folder that wasn't there when he had left, so he picked it up at once to begin reading it. There was a couple of knocks on the door, and he spoke all at once to ask her to continue.
"Go-good morning, Gaara-sama," he heard the soft voice that always started with a stutter and looked up.
"Good morning, Hinata," he answered in turn, "I already told you that just Gaara is fine."
"Ex-excuse me, Gaara-sama, it's just that..." she turned completely red.
"It's fine," he pointed to the folder, "any other pending so far?" the Hyūga shook her head, "very well, thanks."
Without another word he was left alone again, so he went back to concentrating on his work. About half an hour had passed when the door was knocked again, so he spoke again to ask the person on the other side to come in.
"Excu-excuse me, Gaara-sama," he hadn't taken his eyes off the sheets he was reading, "b-but you didn't go to breakfast this morning," only then he saw her, Hinata was holding a tray with food in her hands.
"You didn't need to bother."
"No, it's no bother."
"Thank you," he said again after having moved the documents he was reading so that the plates could be left on his desk.
"Bon appetit," were the words with which she said goodbye before leaving him alone.
He stood looking for a moment at the dishes in front of him, there was a person in charge of cooking for the household, but it was noticeable that it had been the Hyūga who had served each of the food. The way the fruit was arranged on the plate, and the way his scrambled eggs were decorated, even though he had never asked her to take care of that. A small grimace, which was as close to a smile as he managed to make, settled on his lips before he picked up his fork to start eating.
Hinata had been in the village for about 1 month now, and he couldn't deny that while it had taken him a while to get used to her presence at first, he now enjoyed seeing her in the mornings. It was worth clarifying that it wasn't only in the mornings, it was rather to see her daily, because the Hyūga was staying in the dwelling and it was usual for them to share meals, being dinners when he most heard her talking with his siblings.
He remembered that around mid-November his sister had gone to Konoha for a couple of days, returning accompanied by the Hyūga. Privately she had explained to Kankuro, and him that she had felt something like pity when talking to her, hearing Hinata comment that she wasn't entirely comfortable at home, let alone with the season ahead. Given the fact that the Land of Fire and the Land of Wind were now allies, Temari had decided to invite her to spend some time with them.
Neither the puppeteer nor he could believe that his sister had done such a thing, not because it bothered them or mattered in itself that she had invited a person to stay in the house, but for her showing interest in another living being outside of them. And the truth was that Temari couldn't explain it all that well either, she had simply had the need to do it, something like seeing a puppy abandoned in the street and not being able to leave it lying there. Yes, those were the kind of comparisons his sister made.
The first few days since the Hyūga arrived, there was no major change, except at meal times she was also present. After 1 week had passed Hinata went to his office and asked him if there was anything she could help him with. The person who had been his father's assistant had taken a medical leave, so there was some work backed up in that part, and Hinata offered to do it. In between stammering she explained that she felt embarrassed to be staying with them without contributing anything, plus she was also a bit bored. Because clearly Temari had already lost interest in devoting herself to entertaining the young woman she had invited.
He had looked her up and down before nodding, the kunoichi in front of him hardly if it was a genin, and it wasn't just that, she looked completely harmless. Since then it could be said that Hinata was something like his temporary assistant, there was still no date for the return of his real assistant, and he couldn't deny that the Hyūga was diligent.
On weekends when he didn't have to work, or not as much as he normally did, he sometimes went out with her to walk around the village, or they went to the greenhouse together because he had discovered that she also liked plants, and had knowledge of the subject, helping him to rearrange some of the pots according to those that needed more or less light.
Although he hadn't heard her mention the specific reasons for having decided to spend that season away from her family, he knew perfectly well that sad look, that emptiness that seemed to be inside her. He was a little curious about it, she was a calm young woman, most of the time she had a slight smile and was dedicated to helping others, so it didn't make sense to him. His siblings asked him if he didn't remember the fight in the preliminary tests of the chunin exams, the derogatory way her cousin had treated her and that he had tried to kill her.
That should give him a clue that she didn't want to be with his family, or at least it could give him a glimpse of the kind of family she would have. Being despised by the people around wasn't a reality that was alien to him, that was perhaps why he liked to spend time with her, to try to erase the sadness and loneliness he saw in her eyes, and that he had seen in his own reflection so many times.
•──•─•──•✦•──•─•──•
She woke up in the middle of the night because of the heat, having to automatically push aside the blanket. She sat up in bed looking around her in complete darkness, reaching out to turn on the lamp. She squinted her eyes slightly because of the light that now illuminated the room, noticing immediately the reason why she had woken up covered in sweat, she had forgotten to open the window before lying down to sleep and at that moment there wasn't a drop of breeze in the room.
She got up to go to the window at once, opening it wide while taking a deep breath, there was a characteristic smell in that village that she found pleasant. Since she was out of bed, she took the opportunity to go to the bathroom, leaving the room and looking from side to side of the hallway. The room that was right in front of hers had the door wide open and there was no one there, it was Gaara's bedroom and he never slept in the apartment.
In the first days after arriving in that village she had asked Temari about it, and Temari had told her that the red-haired didn't sleep, or not in the same way they did. And that room was only used in the mornings when he went to change clothes and nothing else. Initially she had found it impossible to believe that a person couldn't sleep, but then she realized that it wasn't a lie.
In the bathroom she washed her face because of how much she had sweated, when she came out she saw a clock on the wall that marked that it was past 3 in the morning. She bit her lip slightly as she thought that it wasn't healthy for Gaara to still be working at that hour, maybe she could convince him to go to the apartment, and sleep at least a little. So as not to turn on all the lights as she went, she reached for a small portable lamp she had seen inside the room she was staying in, carrying it to light her way.
When she reached her desk she noticed that the light inside the office was off. She hesitated for a moment before plucking up the courage and opening the door. At first glance there was no one there, she raised the lamp above her head to get a better look, noticing a ball of sand in the corner of the office that she hadn't seen before. She had once heard that in Gaara's fight against Sasuke, just before Orochimaru and several shinobi from that country attacked, they had seen the red-haired take shelter inside such a ball.
She brought her free hand to her face to make the appropriate seal and activate her byakugan, verifying what she had suspected about the redhead tucked inside the sand shield. She drew a small smile before deactivating her dōjutsu, turning around and returning to her own bedroom to continue sleeping. It was somehow reassuring to realize that he did sleep, even if it was in that strange way.
Before going to bed she opened the bedroom closet, checking to make sure the plant she kept there was okay. Given the fact that she was going to spend Christmas there, she had decided to start looking for gifts for the 3 brothers. As she knew that Gaara liked plants, and spent at least once a day in the greenhouse, she had managed to get a plant that only bloomed at Christmas. But for it to be in bloom that day it had to be completely dark several days before, which had fallen like a glove, because that way she wouldn't have it with the other plants and she would lose the surprise of her gift.
The room was much cooler than when she had woken up, so she covered herself again with the blanket and turned off the lamp on her bedside table, looking up at the ceiling in the darkness again. The time away from her own home had helped her to find herself, to be able to feel a little better and let go of the self-pity that had filled her mood in the last few months.
Looking back on it she felt a little foolish, and at the same time no, it was simply the fact that she hadn't yet decided what she was going to do with her life that had led her to feel somewhat stagnant. It wasn't just the fact that Naruto had left the village a little over 1 year ago and there was no sign that he was coming back anytime soon, the blond she liked had decided to go his own ninja road. It was also all her friends who were starting to define what they wanted to make of their lives, like Sakura and Ino who had put aside their rivalry, deciding that they wanted to learn medical ninjutsu from Tsunade. Her teammates used to go out to spend time together or train with each other, without calling her every time. Also that Kurenai wasn't always available, and she had to stop looking for her every time she wanted to talk to someone.
At home the situation had changed, which should make her happy. She no longer felt the contempt from Neji, instead her cousin had assumed his role as guardian and was helping her train. Her father had stopped fostering rivalry between her and her younger sister, so he no longer treated her as if she was a disgrace to the family, nor were there any more comments about her no longer being the heir. Even Hanabi sought her out more than before, resuming their sisterly relationship.
But she didn't always feel good, the change had been somewhat abrupt and she wasn't quite used to it, she liked training with her cousin, she liked spending time with her sister, she liked that her father no longer looked down on her... but at times she felt uncomfortable with them again, to feel that this wasn't completely her place.
Perhaps all these changes in her mood were due in large part to the changes that her body was also undergoing, to the fact that certain attributes and curves that she didn't have before were beginning to be noticed, that no matter how hard she tried to hide them under her clothes, they stood out. More than once when she left the grounds she realized that men's attention was drawn to that area of her body. That's why she hid in her clothes, it was something she hadn't asked for and she didn't like the attention it attracted.
It was then that she had run into Temari, who had invited her to go on a trip to an unknown country, which strangely sounded like a great idea. Her father had thought about it for several minutes, finally deciding that if that was what she wanted he would let her go. Temari had told her that in Suna there were no seasons, it was a desert, so heat was the daily fare. That in order for her to pack lighter clothes, but she wore her normal clothes.
She had gone out with Temari to tour the village at first, as if Temari had to entertain her, but soon the blonde's job came up and being doing nothing around the house wasn't to her liking. From there she was helping out as Gaara's assistant, finding the redhead's presence comforting somehow. His light turquoise eyes never judged her, they watched her attentively when she explained something plant related, they never lingered on any area of her body other than her face, his voice was calm and they seemed to complement each other to her.
She smiled looking up at the ceiling, they were both quiet and somewhat shy, it was curious. Just as well that their personalities had those similarities was good, at least when it came to work, or even when they went out on days off, there was no need to talk or fill the spaces of silence that used to surround them.
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She had protested with all her might the day before Christmas Eve when Temari said they were going shopping, that there was no way in hell she was going to let her spend Christmas Eve dressed in her rags. She hadn't even been able to get mad at the fact that woman referred to her normal clothes that way, being dragged through the village to a dress store. In the place there were some beautiful kimonos, similar to the traditional clothing of her Clan so she tried to go towards these, before taking a step in that direction she was stopped by Temari.
"It's hot as hell, you're not going to get under so many layers of clothing."
"B-but they're cute..."
"None of that!" Temari said raising her voice, "let's look over there."
Temari was used to tight dresses and short skirts, the woman looked comfortable with the attention she attracted from men while sending them to hell if they tried to talk to her, but not her. So she was just trying to control her impulse to run away, to go all the way back to her home village as she saw the options that were displayed by the blonde. When she sized up the first option she wanted the earth to open up and swallow her by the way Temari's eyes widened at the dress that was excessively tight on her breasts, which had hardly fit there.
She measured 5 dresses before deciding on the one she considered the least indecent, not feeling at all comfortable at the idea of wearing it in public, and thinking in passing that if her father ever saw her dressed like that he was going to reprimand her. But well, it would only be a couple of hours and then she would make sure that the dress would casually get lost and not make it to her suitcase when it was time to return.
"You should show them the dress you'll wear tomorrow," commented Temari when they were all eating dinner together, she shook her head, "come on, it's a nice dress that suits you very well."
"N-no..."
"Stop being so shy, Hinata!" commented the blonde, "show the dress to my brothers and you'll see that you look good," she denied again, "But...!"
"Temari," it was Gaara's voice that interrupted whatever she was going to say, "if Hinata doesn't feel comfortable, you can't force her."
"Killjoy."
"Tomorrow is the eve anyway," Kankuro added. Which meant she would have to wear it the next day.
Temari and Kankuro had left after finishing dinner because they had been invited to a meeting, she refused as soon as they invited her, and fortunately they didn't insist. So she was left alone with Gaara, she could assume that at any moment he would get up and say he was going back to the office, as he did every night.
Instead he stayed, sitting together in the living room to read. Apparently the redhead had a new book on gardening, she just browsed through the available options in the library looking for something light. Time passed slowly, from time to time she would glance at him out of the corner of her eye, he would look up at the same moments and then resume reading, it was very comfortable to be like that.
At some point she felt that her eyes began to close, it was time to go to sleep, so she turned to see him to say goodbye, and then saw that his eyes were closed. She remained with her gaze fixed on him for several minutes, noticing that his breathing was rhythmic, he was completely asleep. The strangest thing about the situation was that he wasn't inside his sand sphere, it was like watching any person who falls asleep reading, only with his head lying on the back of the furniture.
With slow movements she got up to go get a blanket, it was a cool night, and since all the windows were open a nice breeze could be felt. She returned to the living room, spreading the blanket out before moving closer to him again so she could cover him. As soon as the fabric touched him, the light turquoise eyes opened, sitting up immediately as he looked around.
"Did I sleep?" he asked confused and she nodded, feeling clumsy for waking him up, "how long did I sleep?"
"I-I'm not sure, I think a little less than half an hour," he narrowed his eyes, nodding before turning his back on her and leaving the place.
The next day was Christmas Eve, so they had a dinner planned. The siblings had never really celebrated Christmas together, and weren't entirely sure what traditions to follow, beyond exchanging gifts. So the decorating and preparations had been mostly up to her.
The evening came early and she took a shower before staring at the dress, thinking about pretending it had been lost or ruined for some reason. In the end she just took a deep breath, she was doing her best to be more confident, and wearing that dress was going to be a test for herself. Her hair went below her shoulders, so she just brushed it several times, leaving it loose.
She looked around the hallway before leaving the bedroom, walking with slow steps towards the living room where the siblings were, she was the only one missing. Temari proudly rose from her chair to approach her, taking her by the hand to walk around so her brothers could get a better look at her. She heard a flattering comment from Kankuro, and nothing from Gaara, which she thought was good.
Dinner was silent, waiting for everyone to wait for midnight to come so they could approach the tree and start handing out the presents. She could see something like a grimace on the redhead's face the moment the presents were finished and he hadn't received anything from her, it was something akin to disappointment she saw in his eyes. So she asked for a minute to go to the room and get her present, she hadn't brought it out before because she didn't know how to wrap it.
With a smile she took the plant in her hands, whose red flowers seemed to glow, perfectly matching the decoration of that time of the year. She felt the 3 pairs of eyes fixed on her as she advanced towards the redhead with her gift, extending it to him and watching his expression change. It wasn't a smile or a cheerful gesture, it was a sort of grimace, and an expression in his light turquoise orbs that she could define as gratitude.
"Merry Christmas," she said after he took it.
"Thank you," it was a whisper, Gaara had his gaze on the leaves of the same color as her hair, "I hope you liked my gift."
"Y-yes, they are beautiful earrings," she answered with a smile, it seemed for a moment that it was only them who were in the room.
"What do we have here!" Kankuro suddenly spoke after the usual minutes of silence appeared between them, "It's mistletoe!"
"What?" asked Temari.
"Come on, come on! Don't be shy, you know the tradition," the puppeteer was now also standing next to them while holding the mistletoe in the air, "I don't have all night," he insisted.
"Merry Christmas," the voice had been barely a whisper as Gaara approached her, depositing a kiss on her cheek.
Her heart skipped a beat, feeling all the colors rise to her face.
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Happy holidays!
I don't know if you knew, but I declare myself a fan of this crackship. I've been wanting to try to do something with them for a long time, this being just the occasion, a one-shot for the season to see how I did.
I liked the result, and I apologize in advance if I didn't fully achieve the personalities, I had never used them directly.
I hope you have happy holidays.
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Regards, Sally K.