AN: The 'revamped' ending. Starts out the same, but it's somewhat longer and hopefully not too mushy. I hope it makes some sense, as I wrote this pretty late atnight... You can decide for yourself whichever ending you like best (let me know?).
I hope you had at least half as much fun reading this story as I had writing it... Finally another big thank you to all the people who have reviewed, your comments have effectively doubled the size of this story to twice the original one...
And stay tuned, if you like, 'cause there are more bunnies hopping around...
4. Day
Into my heart's night
Along a narrow way
I groped; and lo! the light,
An infinite land of day.
- Rubaiyat of Rumi
"Carson…!"
The voice was soft and scratchy, but unmistakably held the plaintive whining quality of a recovering Rodney McKay.
John grinned from behind the privacy curtain where he was currently hiding, quite content to stay and just listen for a bit.
"Rodney?" The answering burr was as patient as ever, but held just a touch of long-suffering.
"It's yellow!" Rodney complained affronted.
"Huh?" Carson's recent chronic lack of sleep seriously didn't help in figuring out the quirks of brilliant astrophysicists.
"The Jell-O!" Rodney huffed in a 'duh' sort of way.
"Aye, so what of it?" Carson sighed.
"Hello! Deadly allergic to lemons, here… Did the word anaphylactic shock escape your voodoo medicine text books?" John just could imagine the way the scientist would be puffing himself up, crossing his arms and glaring heartily at the hapless doctor.
"Ouch…" The soft moan caught John off guard, and he nearly stepped around the privacy curtain.
"Easy, lad. That arm's still on the mend. You might wish to think twice about crossing yer arms any time soon." Carson gently admonished, undoubtedly now hovering over the pissed-of scientist, fussing for all his worth and secretly happy as a clam to have his least accommodating patient safely back under his watchful eye.
Rodney grumbled something unintelligible.
Carson carried on imperturbable: "Besides, yellow Jell-O does nae have any kind of citrus fer ingredient, so it'll be quite safe fer you to enjoy."
"Enjoy! Carson, I think I could die of a psychosomatic reaction to thinking I'm eating something citrus-related!" Rodney whined in his most petulant voice.
A sigh indicated the doctor's defeat. "Aye, Rodney. In your unique case, that would definitely be a possibility… I'll get you some other Jell-O."
"Not the green one!" Rodney voiced quickly.
"Huh? Wha's wrong with the green ones?" Carson asked bemusedly.
"Green's a mixture of yellow and blue, classic colour theory." Rodney stated confidently; "No yellow, not even if it's sneakily diluted with blue."
Another sigh. "Fine, no green either. Nurse?"
"Oh, Carson." Rodney smoothly intersected. "No blue either."
John chuckled inaudibly from behind the screen, thoroughly amused by the whole situation.
"Blue has nae got yellow in it, does it?" Carson ventured tentatively.
"Of course not," Rodney huffed, "but it strongly reminds me of radioactive waste products, and I'd prefer to keep my virility intact."
A badly disguised female snort told John the bidden nurse was now following the conversion as well.
It was a testament to how much Carson had been affected by Rodney's 'death' earlier that he didn't loose his already sorely tried patience. "No problem, lad, we'll just go fer some other dessert… without any citrus, of course. Nurse, if you'd check with the commissary fer …?"
"I like the red." Rodney cut him off again.
"Excuse me, Rodney?" Carson was a bit slow on the uptake. Of course, two days of trying to keep up with Atlantis' most demanding patient explained a lot.
"Red Jell-O is nice." Rodney said matter-of-factly.
The doctor's deep bone-weary sigh told John that Rodney was very likely to be discharged very soon.
Yep, everything was slowly getting back to normal, or -well- at least as normal as things went in the Pegasus galaxy.
John couldn't keep his merriment to himself much longer and sneaked quietly back into the hallway, where he had a barely controlled fit of laughter. It wasn't even that funny, definitely not by 'Rodney standards', but it just felt incredibly good to be able to laugh again.
His team member, his best friend, his brother had returned from the death and given him a second change. A change he didn't really deserve, but that had him thanking whatever God watched over the Pegasus Galaxy on his bare knees for this opportunity to set some sadly overdue things straight.
And he so he laughed. Laughed all the worries and sadness away. Laughed until his sides ached and he was desperately gasping for breath. Only then did he calm down, and did his brain start functioning properly again.
And came up with a brilliant idea.
With a silly grin still plastered on his face, John went to his quarters and retrieved a bright red blanket. He patted it affectionately, like a good luck charm at a job well done, and carried it back with him to the infirmary after a quick stop at the commissary. Noticing the privacy screen had now been removed, signalling the doctor was ready with his usual evening check-up exams, he went straight for his friend's bed.
Rodney was slumbering peacefully, an empty bowl with just the faintest traces of a gooey red substance on his bedside table.
John paused for a second to take in the pale and bruised face, his eyes lingering on the butterfly bandages liberally decorating it.
He would easily have been content to just sit there and simply watch the scientist sleep all evening, relishing in the fact that he could still do this, and partly needing to convince himself that this was no dream.
Although asleep, Rodney's face was not motionless. He briefly smacked his lips and sighed happily, no doubt dreaming about either red Jell-O or Samantha Carter, and happily wriggled a bit deeper into his pillow. John was pleased to notice some colour was returning to the pale cheeks, and this time not from a fevered flush.
This was not the lax, waxen face that had reduced the usually composed Elizabeth to unstoppably sobbing her heart out.
Rodney's chest was moving regularly in tandem with his breath, which still held a bit of a wheezing quality to it but already sounded light years better than his earlier hacking coughs that had reminded John of a particularly nasty case of hairballs. The one hand that was resting atop of the blanket twitched slightly, as if reaching for something.
This was not the stiff immobile body that had caused the usually tranquil and peace loving Carson to vehemently curse every deity in two galaxies.
John smiled softly as he took Rodney's hand and squeezed it affirmingly. Long eyelashes fluttered open, revealing blue pools of sleepy dazedness.
This was definitely not the empty stare that had frozen his heart and had kept haunting his thoughts during the past dark time.
These eyes held the spark of life, the spark of genius and the spark of the indefinable that made Rodney Rodney.
The light that replaced the darkness.
"Hey…" His friend whispered, sluggishly blinking away the sleep.
"Hey yourself." John couldn't help the shit-eating grin stretching luxuriously on his face.
Apparently, Rodney found it somewhat disconcerting as he peered up with a puzzled look. "What did you do this time? Steel Elizabeth's bunny slippers, sat on one of Carson's but-numbing euphoria inducing needles, enjoyed one too many of Zelenka's stomach-corroding 'cocktails'…?"
John tried to look mock-affronted, but decided this was no time for their regular horse-play. He was a man on a mission, and time was of essence to pull it off successfully, so he turned serious as he settled himself comfortably on the bed's edge.
John's suddenly unusually grave expression gave Rodney even more the creeps, and the scientist tried to strive to regain some levity. "Who died?" He joked.
"You did." John said in an emotionless voice, and Rodney winced visibly as he realized he had once again unknowingly blurted out something utterly insensitive.
"Sorry, I…" He started, but John's finger on his lips stalled any forthcoming excuses.
"Just for once in your life, Rodney, " the major smiled briefly, "don't talk back and just listen to me for a minute."
Rodney blinked fast, frowned slightly and then nodded.
"Okay. "John continued, "It's highly overdue that I'm telling you this… I believe we have all been taking some pretty important things for granted in the past. Things I have recently been beating myself up for not telling you when I still had the chance. And now that I'm given that chance, I'm going to plunge right in, before I get too scared to jump in again…
Rodney, no matter whatever wrong impressions we may have given you in the past, you are invaluable to us.
You are a highly respected member of this expedition, a very loyal team member and a most dependable friend. Your know-it-all attitude and your sheer stubborn determination may have annoyed me to no end, but they have also saved us on numerous occasions, and for that I, for one, am extremely grateful.
But there is one thing I missed more when you were … gone…, more than the brilliant scientist with his knack for saving the day."
John swallowed and took a deep breath, steadfastly holding Rodney's attentive stare.
"I missed my best friend. Over time you have inconspicuously wormed your way into my heart and in doing so you have inadvertently reopened old wounds I thought were healed. But they weren't, and the pain was just too much to bear… So I pushed you away. I tried so hard to shut you out that I failed to notice how badly you were hurting yourself… "
Unusually unguarded blue eyes revealed in their depths an amazing understanding and trust, and John allowed his own shields to drop.
And in the one moment of silence that followed, more was said than a lifetime filled with the most eloquent words could ever express.
The annoyed voice of an overworked nurse berating someone drifting down from the hallway effectively shattered the magic of the moment.
John breathed deeply, feeling much lighter than in a long, long while. It felt good to get things of his chest once in a while, he mused. He could almost feel some of the wounds in his heart mending…
Suddenly, he realised it was quiet. Too quiet.
His gaze snapped back to Rodney, who had apparently dozed off again.
"Well, that's the thanks a guy gets for baring his emotions…" He muttered mock-peevishly, though quietly enough not to disturb his slumbering friend.
Of course he's tired, John silently berated himself, he is injured and doped up to his ears and you just couldn't wait with the heavy-duty mushy talk because you were afraid of losing your guts, you big coward.
But when he shifted slightly with the intention of settling himself somewhat comfortably in the nearby chair, a soft reply stopped him. "Well, listening to you going Oprah Winfrey on me is highly disconcerting and equally tiring…"
John grinned at the barely visible slits of blue peeking from between long eyelashes.
"Cherish it, McKay, I only do the Winfrey-thing once every 30 years!"
"Great" Rodney slurred and yawned deliberately "How far in advance can we book days off again?"
The silly smile was back full force on John's face, and Rodney cracked his eyes open a bit further, suddenly feeling less tired and more curious with every passing second.
"What do you say about blowing this popsicle stand?" John raised his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side. "Here, catch!"
A red blur landed across Rodney's chest. Absentmindedly he rubbed the soft fabric, recognizing it as his 'outdoor' blanket. Then Sheppard was beside him, invitingly patting a quickly confiscated wheelchair, and his sleep-dazed brain finally understood. He grinned appreciatively and –with some help from the major- was installed comfortably in the wheelchair (IV lines neatly included) far quicker than John had thought him capable off.
And when an irritatedly grumbling nurse entered the infirmary, holding a cup of blue Jell-O and getting ready to speak her mind about stubborn Canadian scientists who demanded a second helping of red Jell-O and daft commissary workers who had run out of said colour, she found it suspiciously empty.
The waning light of the dying sun gave the corridors of Atlantis a special soft golden glow. John suddenly noticed how prettily the quickly changing light played in the decorative wall panels. Yes, the world surely was beautiful, but at this moment the most appealing sight was that of a snoozing scientist securely tucked in a wheelchair under a bright red blanket.
John felt very much at peace, and even the sudden appearance of dr. Pain-In-The-Ass Kavanaugh didn't burst his little personal bubble of Nirvana. It did wake up McKay, though, and bleary blue eyes wearily followed the grumbling man as he approached them swiftly, typing furiously away on a touch screen.
He nearly ran into them too, but Sheppard's cheerful 'hello' made him stop death in his tracks, with a particularly comical deer-in-the-headlights look.
John smiled beatifically. "Good evening, doctor. Busy, I see?"
Kavanaugh turned pink, swallowed and tried to look dignified: "Zelenka asked me to fix some of the doors' misbehaving access panels. Now, if you'll excuse me…"
"Sure," John drawled, "You'll all be pretty busy, now that the chief of science is back to watch your …ehm … ass again…"
Kavanaugh turned a very intriguing shade of red before disappearing so quickly that this time, there was no need to sprint to a conveniently nearby transporter. The agonizing pain in Rodney's still healing lungs was well worth the shared bout of hilarious laughter. Finally, acute lack of oxygen calmed him down somewhat, and John frowned lightly at the increased wheezing quality of his friend's breathing. "You okay?"
Breath still mostly elusive, Rodney could only nod, but the infectious grin convinced John that it had definitely been worth 'casually' leaking some information to Radek…
Still chuckling quietly, they finally arrived at John's intended destination, a desolate balcony with two loungers and an alien pot plant.
After being transferring to his usual lounger, Rodney sighed happily, thinking the only thing still missing now was his usual cup of coffee and a snack.
John grinned, and as if he could read minds, chose that exact moment to pull out 2 cups of the elusive red Jell-O.
No words were spoken, and none were needed, as they enjoyed their snack and each other's company while the Sun crept steadily lower.
There would be a beautiful sunset this evening, and John was planning on savouring every moment of it with his best friend, his brother…
(yes, this time it's really, truly, the) END