Instant Star- Rise Of The Next Generation
Chapter 10- Make Me Scared To Tell The Truth
(Author's Note: Ok. I know people are dying to know what's going on here, so I'll keep this brief- maybe add a little more at the end. I just feel the overwhelming urge to thank three very dedicated reviewers- Catch1Star, TommyQisMine and RedLA, who have pretty much commented on each chapter- thanks for the smiles and the loyalty! Also, equal thanks go to my co-worker, ML who has been devouring this like candy- love the enthusiasm- so encouraging!)
dorothy
Chapter 10- Make Me Scared To Tell The Truth
Carefully parking her car outside their record company, Jude shut off the ignition, and walked outside. Her hands trembled as she reached for her keys, de-activating the automatic alarm system, allowing her to enter the building. Increasing panic bubbled inside her, as she started down the darkened hallways and then up the staircases in the seemingly deserted office.
"What if he's not here? What if he's hurt? Or..." her thoughts raced on with mounting horror.
"What if he's with someone else?"
She reached the door to her husband's office; all appeared perfectly quiet inside. She turned the knob and entered.
Her eyes slowly adjusted to the dimness of the room, as she surveyed the space. It took her only a few seconds to see Tommy. He sprawled out on the sofa, his hair mussed, and his clothes completely disheveled, his shirt pulled out of his pants, as he slept. So out of it was he that he didn't even hear Jude, even as she sat down besides him. This surprised her, knowing what a light sleeper he was.
She smiled, as always, planning to use their favorite tactic to wake him up
Jude bent over and placed her mouth on his. Uncharacteristically, it took a series of kisses to rouse him; usually, all he needed was one. But the nature of his response remained consistent. Tommy's hands found Jude's back and pulled her down besides him, taking her fully into his arms.
"Jude" he mumbled, still disoriented.
"Of course. Did you expect someone else?"
"No. Never. No one else has ever affected me like this" he whispered. "I just..." he continued, confused.
"I just don't remember how I got here. Or falling asleep."
"Well, you were really out of it. I had to kiss you three times before you woke up."
"Really? We know that never happens. And I never sleep this deeply, you know that."
"Makes me wonder. Someone spike your coffee or something?" Jude teased, noting then tall, but completely empty cup on the table next to him.
"No" Tommy smiled. "I guess I was just that tired."
"You've been working really hard. Putting in so many hours." Jude replied.
"Just trying to get our company going right..." Tommy's bloodshot eyes penetrated deeply into his wife's nervous ones.
"I really scared you, didn't I?" he asked gently.
"Yes" she said, honestly.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to..."
"I know. I'm just glad you're okay. When you didn't answer your phone..."
"I didn't?"
"No. And the voice mail didn't go on..."
"Really? Strange?" Tommy wondered quietly, as Jude drew the phone from his jeans pocket, reading the text.
"No service" she announced.
"I dunno. Guess I'd better check into that tomorrow. I don't ever want to scare you like this again."
"I'd rather you didn't." Jude smiled. "I was so worried. I thought- something had happened. That you were hurt, or..." her voice trailed off, unable to finish verbalizing her horrible thought.
Tommy completed the sentence for her.
"That I was with someone else?" he whispered softly, drawing her in.
"Yes" she replied, suddenly feeling very foolish and a little guilty.
"I'm sorry" she apologized. "I couldn't help it. I just- freaked..."
His lips moved gently on hers, silencing her. Happily, she surrendered herself to him.
"I can understand you being scared tonight. But you never have to worry about us like that. Not ever. Remember that first night we spent together, here in the studio? How I kept you in my arms all night. Since then, I've never been able to think about anyone else. Hell, I've no place for that! Not in my head, my heart, my bed, or in my life. It's all been about you. Only you. Always. That's never going to change." he assured her with words and tender caresses.
Touching the delicate porcelain skin of her face, he felt he smile.
"I know, really. It's the same for me. I just get crazy sometimes, when something like this happens. I guess it's because of what happened with my parents. My father's affair- it scared me... messed me up really bad...You know..."
Tommy ran his hands up and down her back, soothing her as she spoke.
"Sometimes, I think... you're so successful and attractive. All these years, I've watched other women admire you. Want you. Young women. Gorgeous women... Sometimes, I just get scared... I know, it's ridiculous. But- I can't help it..." she confessed, feeling as if she were eighteen years old again.
He nodded, seeing the ghost of the beautiful and so irresistible teenage girl who loved him so much. The girl who was stunned, afraid and disbelieving when he finally chose her. Tommy selected his next words carefully, wanting only to completely dispel any doubts she could ever possess.
"Never be afraid. Like I said, I don't ever think about anyone else. I even dreamed about you tonight." he informed her, truthfully.
"Don't tease me like that." she whispered into his ear.
"I'm not. It was funny, though. You had blonde hair. But it was definitely you. Your kiss. Your hands. Your body. I'd know that, anywhere. Forever."
"Blonde?" she grinned.
"Like when you were 16."
"Darius's great idea." Jude recalled.
"Yeah. What's funny is that I didn't even like it then."
"I remember"
"You were so naturally beautiful. I hated what he did to you. Making you into something fake. I couldn't stand it. Not when, deep down, all I really wanted to do was love you, just the way you were."
"I hated it, too. You were right then. The blonde was just not me. Thankfully, the fans agreed. And Georgia and EJ really gave it to him! Demanding it be changed back."
"Yeah." Tommy smiled again, as his hands found that red hair and stroked it, lingeringly. He then yawned again.
"Still tired?" Jude asked.
"Yeah. I just can't wake up. I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Just exhausted. Like I said, too much hard work. Come on, I'm taking you home." Jude insisted, helping Tommy to his feet. Unsteady, he slipped an arm around her waist, bracing himself against her.
"Warning you now... I'm gonna need a lot of support to get home tonight." he grinned impishly.
"I could give you that."
Eagerly, Tommy let Jude take care of him, guiding him to the car and driving home. Once they arrived there, they quickly changed clothes, and again fell asleep in each others' arms.
Of necessity, Jude woke first, just a few hours later to insure that their children left on time for school. Afterwards, she returned to her favorite spot by the living room fireplace, to work out the kinks in the song she composed the night before. She already perfected the lyrics, but there were a few places in the tune that dissatisfied her. Carefully, she reworked it, testing chords on her guitar and then changing the melody slightly. She had almost nailed it, when she heard footsteps on the stairs.
Tommy entered the room, still dressed only in his sweatpants from the night before, his chest bare. He smiled at the sight of Jude, sitting with her instrument in her hands, hair falling over her eyes.
"Good morning" he greeted her, drawing closer.
"Good morning" she replied, deriving equal pleasure from his image.
She stood up as he easily closed the distance between them, gently taking the guitar from her grasp and setting it down. Tommy then wrapped his arms around Jude, kissing her softly, but throughly.
"Mmmm. Nice. What's this for?" she asked, running her hands tantalizingly over his bare chest.
"You know. This is how I need to wake up. Anything else and I know it's going to be a bad day."
"Charmer"
"Charming" he replied, resting his palm on her left cheek, then running that hand down the side of her face.
"Twenty years" Jude murmured thoughtfully.
"Yeah. And we were together just over four years before we got married. So really, it's more like twenty-five."
"You're counting" she smiled, pleased.
"Damm right. You think this doesn't matter to me."
"No. I never would think that."
"Damm right it matters. Because you matter. Everything important to me, I have because of you. The kids, the business, a home... it's all yours, too. We've built a life together, Mrs. Quincy. The life I always wanted and never thought I'd have. Never thought I deserved. But you didn't agree. And you gave me that. You still do." he said softly.
Jude weakened hearing his words; she felt her legs trembling. They might have given way altogether, if her husband's strong grip failed to support her; but that did not happen. Overwhelmed, she didn't know what to say.
"You just make me so happy." she finally stammered. "I love you"
"I love you, Jude."
After another passionate kiss, Tommy sighed.
"We have a problem. I really don't want to let go of you right now. I wish we could just stay here."
"Tom Quincy. You? Play hooky? I never thought I'd hear you say that again." she laughed.
"Well I think you're right. I've been working too hard lately. So have you. We deserve a break..."
"Hmm... we'll have to look into that. And soon." Jude promised.
"But not today. You have meetings all day, including that financial review with our accountants. I have production sessions. Including one with Stacie Sloan, to sort out the tracks for her new album." she groaned.
"That's not going well?" Tommy asked.
"Not really. It's tough. When her mother signed her up here, I took it as a signal that she wanted her to grow as an artist, not keep churning out the same bubblegum stuff she's always done. And she's got genuine talent. Quest says so. Even Ruby does now." Jude grinned, knowing what a tough critic their daughter was.
"So, I wanted to give her something different. More real. Challenging. But Amanda Sloan..." Jude began.
Tommy nodded understandingly.
"Not supportive," he said
"Definitely no. That's why I'm meeting with Stacie alone today. See if we can settle on something. Then tackle mom."
"Makes sense" her husband agreed.
"Except... I really wonder about that girl. I don't think she's who she seems." Jude commented, perceptively.
"Don't believe the hype..." Tommy quoted the old song lyric, so often applicable in their business.
"Yes. We know what happened with her the other night. And with a mother like that..." she continued.
"It will be interesting to hear what she has to say for herself today."
Ironically, her son shared those same thoughts, at that same moment. Uncharacteristically, Patrick had difficulty focusing in his classes that day. As soon as they ended, he drove Ruby to the studio, as usual. But atypically, he followed her out of the car.
"You lost?" Ruby asked him. "Shouldn't you be at some meeting? Future brainiac wizards of Canada or something?"
"That club meets Thursday." he easily replied.
"So, today I'm stopping off here. Your friend Stacie left me a message. Wants to talk to me." Patrick grinned smugly.
"Yeah. I got a message, too. She's been in New York. But Pat..." Ruby warned.
"Yes?"
"Just don't... expect too much. You know what I mean?" she babbled awkwardly.
"No, I don't know. But it seems like you sure do!" he angrily turned on her.
"Did she tell you anything?" he demanded.
"No. Not really..."
"Spill, little sister!"
"I just... don't think... she's looking to get involved right now." Ruby replied honestly.
"Well, I guess we'll find that out!" Patrick retorted, and stormed off.
"That went well!" Ruby thought, sarcastically, as she headed downstairs to work.
As planned, Patrick met Stacie in the small park next to the studio.
His nerves began fluttering from the second he saw her figure approaching from the distance. She looked exceptionally pretty today, in her bright red miniskirt and cropped white sweater.
"Hey" she greeted him, uneasily.
"Hey" he replied, shy as ever.
"You look good." Stacie commented.
"Yeah. I guess I should thank you for that."
"No need to do that" she smiled, as his heather blue eyes locked with her emerald green ones.
"Stacie... I... uh..."
"Shhh!" she responded, pressing one slender, delicate finger to his lips.
"I'm so sorry." she said softly. "Sorry, I caused you so much trouble."
"It's okay."
"And I'm also sorry... cause I think I may have led you on." she continued, as an unfamiliar awkwardness came over her.
"It's cool. You were... not yourself..."
"Drunk?" she clarified.
"Well, yeah."
"It's not what you think. I really do like you. You're a really nice guy."
"Now, that's a kiss-off!" Patrick muttered.
"No. It's true. And you did clean up nicely. You're really handsome. You look just like your dad when he was younger. Any girl would be lucky to have you. It's just..." she began.
"Yes? Do continue."
"I can't be that girl. Not now. I travel so much. I just can't get seriously involved with anyone..."
"I get it!" Patrick interrupted, furious.
"I'm not famous. It would hurt your image to be seen with me!"
"Hardly" Stacie replied, a small, wry smile on her lips.
"You are Jude and Tommy Quincy's son. If my career, if publicity was what I wanted, dating my record label owner's kid could only be a good thing. Hell, my manager and my mother would love this! If they knew about what happened the other night, they'd be all over me... pushing me to take it further. Which is exactly why I can't."
"Huh? Stacie... I don't get it." Patrick answered, completely mystified.
"No. You couldn't. You and I really do live in two different worlds. But I'll try to explain- you deserve that. If you and I were ever to really get together, I wouldn't want it to be about publicity or my career. Cause you deserve better, Patrick Quincy. The best. And that's not me Like I said, it's not you. It's me. I can't be serious about anyone right now. I just can't handle it. And with you, it would be that way. You aren't someone who just plays around. That's good. Just not for me, not now. I don't even deserve you."
"No. That's not true." he insisted.
"It doesn't matter. We'll just- be friends. Forger this ever happened."
"It never happened" he repeated, mindlessly.
"Yes" she confirmed, sweetly kissing his cheek.
"I gotta go"
He watched her image growing smaller and smaller, as she ran across the park, heading back to his parents studio.
Still breathless, Stacie crossed the threshold of Studio C. Fortunately, she was not late as she had feared. Enough time remained before her meeting with Jude that she could pull a brush from her perfectly coordinated red purse and run it through her hair, so it settled like a crown of gold upon her small shoulders. But right now, she felt anything but princess-like, consumed with guilt and pain over her words to Patrick.
"Dammit" she cursed, uncharacteristically.
"I do like him. I really do. And I'm sorry it has to be this way. He's gonna hate me now. And Ruby, what's she gonna say? That girl's the only one I've met in ages who gets anything about me at all. And OMG! Who am I working with today? Their mother. Great timing! Just great!"
She quickly pulled herself together, knowing that Jude's arrival was imminent. To relax, she used the same approach she always did. The identical one that Ruby used.
Stacie sat at the piano and started to play, vocalizing the same lyrics she had sung that first time when she and Ruby talked honestly.
"And they say... She's so lucky. She's a star. But she cry, cry cries in her lonely heart, thinking... If there's nothing missing in my life... Then why do these tears come at night? She's so lucky..."
Jude stood right inside the studio, carefully listening to the poignant song. When Stacie finished, she applauded.
"Wonderful! Just great! I see a huge hit here! I had written this one for you, but it seems you don't need it. You did just fine on your own."
"How did you know it was mine?"
"The way you sang it. It came from the heart, from a place deep inside you. " she answered.
"Yeah" Stacie agreed.
"So, shall we work on it? This could be really big. A whole new sound for you. More mature. Grown up. Your fans will love it." Jude enthused.
'But my mother, my manager, they won't. They never want me to feature my own stuff. Too depressing."
"Well, let's just see what we can do with it today. Try it. And when it turns out as good as I know it will, we'll speak to them. Together, I bet we could convince them."
"You really think so?" Stacie asked, hopefully.
"Yes. If this is what you want to do." Jude replied.
"It is. It always has been"
She carefully watched the blonde girl. Something about Stacie touched Jude deep inside. The teenager reminded her of herself at 16, being forced into a mold she didn't fit. Her inner voice told her that Stacie, too, felt trapped.
"Then, we'll make this happen" Jude promised, for Stacie, but also for herself.
"I'll just tell them what a mega-hit it will be. How it will make you even bigger!" she grinned.
"That'll definitely work!" Stacie smiled back.
"So, let's get to it."
The two women sat down and began. Two hours later, they paused, both stretching.
"Whew!" Stacie grinned "That's hard work!"
"Composing? Yes. You have to love it."
"I really do. I've just never... really. No one looks at me that way. No one takes me seriously." she replied.
"Except you. And your kids." her unspoken thoughts continued.
Jude's eyes met Stacie's
"Well, I think we've got something now. You and Quest can take it from here. See how it develops. I'll check in after you guys start practicing. See what happens. Meanwhile, like I said, I'll talk to your manager and to your mother. I think I can make them see it's a winner!" Jude offered, confidently.
"Thanks, Mrs. Quincy"
"Jude" she corrected, automatically.
"Jude"
Buoyed by her successful session, Stacie walked over to the studio next door to see Ruby, quietly slipping inside.
"I think that I'm throwing..."
"But I'm thrown."
"And I thought I'd live forever"
"But now I'm not so sure"
"You try to tell me that I'm clever."
"But that won't take me anyhow."
"Or anywhere with you."
"You said that I was naive"
"And I thought that I was strong."
"I thought hey, I can leave."
"I can leave."
"But now I know that I was wrong."
"Cause I missed you."
"I missed you."
"Then you say"
"Stay"
"You say..."
"I only hear what I want to..."
Ruby finished the take, and then focused her eyes on Quest, noting Stacie standing silently behind him.
"Good. job, Ruby" the producer responded, as his artist gestured with her eyes.
"Can I take a few?" she asked.
"Yeah. Go ahead. We're pretty much done here for today, anyway." Quest agreed.
"I'll leave you two alone." he grinned fondly at the red-haired girl, who was like another daughter to him.
He left the room, a signal for Stacie to move forward, closer to Ruby.
"Hey" she said cautiously, not sure what to expect.
"Hey. How've you been?" Ruby asked, naturally.
"Ok. I was in New York. Mom wanted me to meet some people there. Did a fashion shoot, too. Looks like I'm gonna be on the cover of Teen People magazine."
"Great"
Stacie snapped then, not being able to tolerate the tension in the room.
"Do you hate me?" she asked.
"No. Why?"
"Your brother. I think I really hurt him. I never meant to."
"I know." Ruby assured her. "But I don't understand."
"Stuff happens. You know."
"Yeah. But this wasn't "stuff" happening. I saw the look on your face when you talk about him. Even now, it's there. And I see how he is about you. So, what's wrong? Spill it." Ruby gently encouraged.
"It's complicated." Stacie began, reiterating to Ruby what she had said to her brother.
Dissatisfied, Ruby shook her head.
"That's weak and you know it."
"Yeah. It is. I like him Ruby. I really do. Too much. I could easily fall for someone like him. He's intelligent, kind, sensitive, fun... And wow, is he hot!"
"We sure performed a miracle there." Ruby grinned.
"But... I'm so confused. I'm just not used to being close to people. I'm not ready for this- for him. And if I tried, I'd only hurt him more. I don't want that. And I don't want to use him, either. You know, from the publicity if we went out..." she rambled.
"Yeah. I understand. You're scared." Ruby said simply.
Stacie's eyes widened with the shock of being found out.
"Scared of getting hurt. Scared of trusting anyone."
"Yeah." her friend confessed. "I'm not good at that. Letting people in. The way things are, I haven't had much practice. You know what my family's like. And I never even really had close friends, even. Always performing. You're brother, he'd get too close. I just can't handle it. I don't know how."
"I get it. But it's sad. What a waste!" Ruby's romantic heart struggled with these words.
"I just wish- it could be different."
"Me, too."
They sat together, sharing a few minutes of understanding silence, until the time came and both girls were summoned to leave the studio and head home.
(Author's Note 2- So? Guess I really am a tease... but seriously... it's not always going to be like this. Real trouble lies just ahead... There was a point to all this... Oh, and the song in this chapter is Lisa Loeb's "Stay"... not sure how well it fits, but I love it, and it suits Ruby's style...)