Disclaimer: Yes, okay, I don't own anything but me and the circumstances and this adorable little hair ornament I just discovered on the floor of the Prancing Pony. It is a very attractive shade of blue and is very sparkly. Oh, yeah, and the "Nancing Pony" inn-type-place-thing was thought up by someone else. Can't for the life of me remember who. Sadly, I am not that brilliant.

Day 29: Followed hobbits into lovely inn. Sign on door found to read 'Nancing Pony' and had cute picture of a pink pony nancing through a meadow, but image is somewhat askew. Must be because of all the weapons people left sticking out of pretty pink pony. Anyway, went inside and discovered that it was, in fact, a secret elf bar! Most importantly, it was a secret SINGLE elf bar. Oououh luok atthe lovly elves…

Later: Terribly sorry if the page is a bit hard to read. Stupid, fat, possessive hobbit servant knocked elf wine all over my diary.Yelled at him. Inadvertently called attention to pack...Damn. Much stampeding, screaming, and so on as elves tried to get away. I told Melime she could keep the trampled ones. There are about a dozen or so. At least will keep elf-inclined fangirls happy as we stalk hobbits to correct inn. New inn called 'Prancing Pony'. Full of smelly, dirty, unwashed humans. Aragorn would like a place like thi--Ah, there they are. Have just spotted Aragorn's fangirl pack. Mostly made up of older women. Heard of ginormous showdown between Aragorn fangirls and Aragorn fanboys took place last week. Apparently fangirls won, for time being. Fanboys known to be persistent, they just must have lacked numbers. My guess is fanboys will be waiting back at Imladris, one of Aragorn's favourite haunts. Territory scuffle will most likely ensue when Aragorn fans meet Arwen and Arwen fans meet Aragorn. Must watch; should be interesting. Anyway, back to hobbits. Had to beat off small, mixed fan pack apparently after fat, possessive hobbit servant. Only so much room in the frickin' inn, and besides, we were here first! Hmph. On brighter side, whilst piling into rooms on either side of hobbit rooms, found very nice, blue sparkly barrette. Glorfy must have been through here; he claimed blue sparkly barrettes in Great Barrette Debate. Legolas has pink sparkly ones, Elrond has purple sparklies. Fans need to know these things so as not to go forth upon the wrong trail.

Day 30: ARGH! Would kill Ringwraiths, but they're immortal, so shall just have to POUND THEM FOR ETERNITY! And I can, too, 'cause I'm an elf. GRRRRRRRRR. And poo. Cannot BELIEVE it. Damn damn damn damn and double damn! Aragorn, that hobbit fancier, convinced the hobbits to not stay in their room last night! Ugh. Who cares if they were going to get slaughtered by the Nazgul? WE would have saved them, but ooooooooooooh no, has to be Aragorn to the rescue! Had turf war with Aragorn fangirls this morning, but fortunately the other Pippin/Legolas group, lead by good friend Willow, arrived with Galadriel of all people! Any who, we had more fans, and won the right to be the group to stalk the hobbits and Aragorn, that smelly, awful, icky, horrid, vile, scummy…yeah. You get the idea.

Day 30 ¼: V. surprised to find that Galadriel is a fellow PHF and Legolas fan as well. Oh well. She doesn't like Aragorn much, either. Said he once bathed in her magic fountain. Don't believe her; probably just mad scruffy human is marrying her granddaughter. Sympathize. She had quite a rant; hobbits almost heard us. Lucky for us, others well-informed on whereabouts of gorgeous Prince of Mirkwood—he's headed for Imladris too! Was so happy. Frodo fans and Merry fans in friendly contact with Pippin fans, we sent word. They're to meet us in Imladris. Amusing themselves with elves whilst we trudge through Wild. Only thing that could make this worse is if Aragorn leads poor, tired, hungry, frightened hobbits into nasty swamp near here.

Day 31: Or Nazgul could go after hobbits and Aragorn (icky; am quite sure some Nazgul related to Aragorn) and then the Ringwraith fanfolk show up. Have heard there are even packs of die-hard Ugluk fans. Even some dwarves have fans. Wouldn't be surprised if old bag Gloin has pack. Also, have sneaking suspicion Gloin is female. Beard always seems better conditioned than rest of dwarves'...

Day 32: Am incredibly bored. And prediction came true; stupid, icky, scummy, slimy, smelly, unwashed human did lead them--no, US--into swamp. Ugh. Expect Nazgul and disturbed fan pack any day now.

Day 33: How do I do it? HOW do I do it? Must stop writing doom-telling predictions; often come true. WHY ME? Pippin had just spotted us and Merry invited us over for dinner; made lovely "BLT's". Frodo wakes up from nap, and hears screeching. Thought it was Aragorn's fangirls, but no. Had to be Nazgul. And THEIR fangirls. Heard old Gandalf was trying to get some of the Nazgul fans to like him. As if! Only saw 5 Nazgul; other four probably couldn't outrun fans. Oh well.

That night: Oh, way to go Aragorn! Leave poor, adorable, defenseless hobbits all by themselves in known dangerous territory, and come back AFTER your favorite's been stabbed! Sure this is all just plot for Aragorn to leave fat, possessive hobbit and get shirtless Frodo to Rivendell. Yeah. Way to go. Future King of Men, he is. Yeah. V. optimistic about future of human race. Uh-huh.

Day 34: Arwen showed up on horse. Most likely running from angry Aragorn fans. Heard Aragorn muttering to self. Apparently, Glorfindel was supposed to come and take Aragorn and green, violently ill, but still somehow completely adorable hobbit to Imladris in exchange for ultra-sparkly barrettes. As is, he had to hand over groaning hobbit to wimpy fiancé. Also couldn't fit on horse as well. Arwen's either been packing on a few pounds, or she and Aragorn--no, no, Elrond would have killed him already. Must be the first one. She eats far too much and never walks if she has to. Have heard her. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadaaaaaaaaa, will you send up a chair?" "Aaaaaaadaaaaaaaaaaa! I don't wanna go for a walk! Can't I stay heeeeeeeeeeeeere?" So whiny.

Day 35: Aragorn ran ahead with other hobbits, so got lost and argued about way to Imladris with other girls.

Day 36: Found out were going wrong way.

Day 37: Right way. Caught up with Willow; haven't seen her in AGES. Okay, a month and a half. Still.

Day 37 ½: Had v. nice chat with Willow; she actually saw a Sauruman fan. Didn't believe her, but apparently there are three Sauruman fans. There are even Treebeard fangirls and guys. Have seen one myself. 'Tis a sad, sad thing. Oh well, less competition.

Day 37 ¾: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IMLADRIS AT LAST!

Please review. Or I shan't continue. And I mean it. I'm not greedy, I just want five reviews (from 5 seperate people) and then you get another chapter. Again, if anyone else wants to be in here, please give a name. Yeah. Okay. I'm off. Ta, and may fangirls be blessed with free stuff and quantum warps!