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Chapter 18: Pomegranate Stains (don't you dare)
AN: This chapter was difficult! I had an argument with my spell check over whether unexpecting is a word (I think it should be). Rating was changed to M, and I got to have fun with free-verse.
HAPPY 200 REVIEWS! Congrats to Lady Samurai, reviewer 200! (throws edible confetti)
Disclaimer: blah blah blah (Naruto isn't mine. I'm just an evil person with no hobbies)
Red, red, red, pouring from his veins… such a pretty sight.
Pretty slits all through the white, let it seep out, seep in…
He closed his eyes, shuddering, and still able to see the image he had conjured in his head. Not real, no, but he could almost feel, smell, taste it dripping from his skin so thickly, all red red red and beautiful.
His pale arms were unmarred, keeping it inside, but something made him feel delightfully sick at the thought.
All that disgustingly lovely redness…
o
"You have your own apartment? Cool!"
Sasuke shook his head, quietly locking the door behind himself and Naruto. The apartment was small, consisting of a kitchen/living room area, two bedrooms and a bathroom, decorated in a rather mismatched fashion.
"Keep it down, would you?" he muttered, "I don't live here alone, you moron, I-"
"Sasuke?"
The raven-haired boy closed his eyes and let out an irritated sigh before turning to the doorway of the first bedroom, where the eighteen-year old Itachi stood, holding his long mussed bangs out of his face with one slender hand. Wearing only a loose black T-shirt and plaid sleep pants, he looked from one boy to the other with slight confusion.
"Naruto's staying the night," Sasuke said simply. "Don't worry, we're not going to fuck or anything and keep you awake." (Naruto's cheeks tinged magenta at the comment.)
"Where were you?" the older boy asked, giving the bemused Naruto a congenial nod beforehand.
Sasuke kicked off his shoes, narrowing his eyes. "We were out."
"Sasuke, it's-"
"I know, I know," said Sasuke, cutting his older brother off. He turned to Naruto. "Come on, we're sleeping in my room."
Naruto gave a wide grin. "Oh, heh, I forgot my-"
"You can borrow some of mine," Sasuke muttered in a tone that blatantly portrayed the fact that he had no want to continue the conversation, or any conversation for that matter, with Itachi present. He made his way past his brother and through the door on the left, labeled 'Sasuke' with a slanted piece of duct tape, peeling off at the edges. Naruto quickly followed, hearing Itachi sigh in manner that almost seemed like he were giving up. On what, well, Naruto could guess.
The blonde found the younger Uchiha lying on a pile of mattresses laying in the corner of the surprisingly clean room, posters and the like tacked abstractly onto the so-blue-it-was-almost-black walls. Two of the mattresses had been removed from the pile and placed beside the others, which was where, Naruto figured, he would be sleeping for the night.
"So," he started, making his way over to his irked boyfriend, "that was your brother, eh? He looks like you, only… older. And girlier."
"Don't say that…" Sasuke groaned, rolling over to put his face in the pillow. "That he looks like me."
Ever persistent (and even more so due to the high he had obtained during the party they had just been to), Naruto sat down on the pile of mattresses, leaning over Sasuke. "Why not? It's true, ain't it?"
Sasuke grumbled an inaudible answer.
"Don't be such a prick, Sasuke. Come on, tell me."
Sasuke lifted himself from the bed, eyes slightly bloodshot, and gave Naruto a long hard look.
"It doesn't matter, dobe."
"Don't-" But before Naruto could say anything more, Sasuke leaned forwards a little and placed a light yet driving and almost unreadable kiss on Naruto's mouth, his fine dark hairs brushing against Naruto's boyish cheeks. The blonde placed one hand on the back of Sasuke's pale neck and the other between his shoulder blades, giving Sasuke a gentle, comforting kiss back before pulling away. Sasuke stared down at his legs, almost ashamed, as he avoided Naruto's accusative, curious looks from beneath his shaggy bangs.
"I hate you, sometimes," Sasuke murmured with a smile, lying down on his unmade bed once again. "You and your stupid… Naruto-ness."
"Well you and your stupid 'I'm-so-cool' gothic Sasuke-ness isn't so fun to hang around sometimes either," Naruto told him, lowering his body on the mattress beside Sasuke.
"I know," said Sasuke, shifting over to the wall to make more room for Naruto, "just… don't talk about my brother. Please?"
Naruto ran his eyes over Sasuke, contemplating pestering him further. However he decided against it, due to the way the teen's black eyes looked almost vulnerable at that moment, the light layer of eyeliner he wore (and Naruto teased him for wearing often) smudged to give him a somewhat frightening appearance. With a foxy grin, Naruto rested his head on Sasuke's shoulder, pulling him near.
"Fine…" he said, "But we're having ramen for breakfast."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Fine."
"Goodnight, Sasuke-teme."
"Goodnight, dobe."
o
"Temari, get your crap off the table."
"It's not crap, Kankurou; it's my French project."
"Yeah, whatever. Just get it off the table."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because!"
"Stop shrieking! Jeez, you probably woke up Gaara…"
Yes, because I was actually sleeping in the first place, Gaara thought sarcastically from where he lay in his bed. All weekend he had been bedridden with a migraine that even the Extra Strength Tylenol™ Mariko had on hand could not cure, though it did numb the pain slightly. He wanted to call Neji to apologize again or even just to talk as a distraction from the things inside his head, which had dimmed down to a low murmur compared to the loud scream-shout-roars they had achieved late Friday night. Night passed sleeplessly, and he had taken to flipping somewhat mindlessly through his mother's poetry book again, recording lines and verses he found interesting on separate of pieces of paper to pass the time. Some he ended up taping up on his wall around the picture Neji had given him, reminiscing about their silly little game of the 'quest' for love…
Funny how the more he thought about it, the farther he seemed to be from actually figuring it out.
His siblings had not spoken to him directly about it, but he could tell they had some idea of what had happened Friday night, from their worried looks and the cautiousness they displayed when around him. It had been stupid to leave that knife sitting on the floor like that…
"Gaara…"
He felt a hand affix itself to his thin wrist, causing him to sit up quickly with a sudden burst of anger, ready to attack whoever was grabbing him. His eyes took on a fierce and almost primal glaze, and for a moment he felt himself almost lost.
"Whoa… calm down, pipsqueak," said Kankurou, swiftly removing his hand from his brother's wrist. "Look, I'm just here to give you some more Advil if you need it."
"Sorry," Gaara mumbled, drawing himself inwards. He accepted the tiny, white pills and cup half-filled with water from Kankurou, swallowing them with detest. He had always disliked medicine.
Kankurou sat down beside him on the bed, a bit of nervousness evident in his reassuring smile. "Think you'll be up for school tomorrow?"
"I suppose…"
"That's good," he said, nodding in approval. "Hey, uh… any reason why you might have this headache? It seems pretty bad… You haven't been like this in a long while."
Gaara cast him a sharp glare. "No."
"You sure?"
"Leave, Kankurou," he practically growled, hand jumping to his temple where there had been a sudden flare up of pain.
"Gaara… remember what I said Friday night? I was concerned, okay? I don't want you… starting your bad habits again," Kankurou explained, wrapping an arm loosely around Gaara. "I'm your big brother. I'm supposed to protect you, and it bugs me when I can't. So… don't do that stuff… kay? Or at least tell me or Temari."
Gaara nodded tentatively, leaning into Kankurou's embrace.
"I… Okay…"
o
"The snow's all melted…" Sakura whined the next morning as she glanced disappointedly around the schoolyard, which was now more slush and puddles than anything else. "That's no fun."
"Oh, fairest Sakura," Lee said proudly, "Even in the coldest of weather, I promise to keep your precious heart warm."
"…That's nice, Lee."
"Oh, Sakura," Ino said teasingly, "You and Lee are just meant to be."
Sakura flicked her eyes upwards, putting a hand on her waist. "You're just jealous, Ino-pig, because no one likes you."
"You shut up, Big Forehead!"
"Both of you…" Shikamaru grumbled, shaking his head, "Stop being such… girls."
Neji gave a quiet chuckle, watching the display with an amused expression. From the corner of his eye, he caught a flash of red and turned to see a tired looking Gaara trudging into the schoolyard, trying to avoid getting his sneakers wet by stepping in any puddles. The Hyuuga headed over to the school gate to meet him, noticing his scarlet hair was a little messier than it usually was, and the bags under Gaara's eyes seemed to have grown.
"Morning…" Gaara murmured.
"Hey," Neji said, giving a trying half-smile. "I take it you didn't sleep well."
"Why would you think that?" Gaara muttered sarcastically.
"Nightmares?"
"Sort of."
"I was kinda worried about you… after Friday."
An impatient pause resounded.
"I'm sorry," Gaara blurted out.
"I know. I am too," said Neji. "Don't worry about it."
Leaning forwards, he gently raised his fingertips to brush Gaara's jawbone and smiled. After glancing around quickly to make sure no one was watching, he pulled Gaara outside the school gates and placed a quick, virgin kiss on his unsuspecting lips. This caused the shorter boy's face to take on a dangerously pink color, the wave of bliss that was swelling inside of him washing all the jumbled noise in his head away.
o
"Good morning," Temari said cheerfully, approaching Shikamaru with a confident swing to her hips.
He lazily cast an eye in her direction. "Hey."
"Here," she said, pulling his scarf out of her bulging coat pocket. "Thanks for letting me borrow it."
He shrugged, taking it back and slinging it around his neck. "No problem. Mom gets bored sometimes and knits; I have a ton."
"I'll have to repay you sometime," she said.
"That's unnecessary," he answered.
Temari furrowed her eyebrows. "It is, actually. I don't like being in debt."
"You're not in debt."
"Yes I am," she insisted. "So I'll be repaying you sometime, whether you like it or not."
"Suit yourself," Shikamaru sighed as she turned on her heel and walked defiantly away. "Tch… Women…"
o
"I fucking hate Mondays," Tayuya groaned as she collapsed beside Kimimaro at the lunch table, resting her head on the cool, metal surface. Her bangles clinked against the table as she threw her arms out across the table, almost knocking over Sakon's opened but still mostly full bottle of Coke. He quickly moved it and went back to his latest morbid vampire novel, Ukon reading over his shoulder and commenting every now and then.
"And where were you this morning?" Jiroubou asked Tayuya, unimpressed.
"Sleeping, big man," Tayuya answered capriciously. "My stupid-ass alarm clock ran outta batteries, and a certain anonymous bitch didn't feel the need to wake me up."
She aimed the last comment directly at Kin, who shrugged and went back to fiddling with Temari's hair.
"Hey, last time I tried to wake you up, you almost gave me a black eye," she commented.
"Anyways, it looks like you're not the only space case this morning," said Ukon, eyeing Kimimaro. Tayuya whipped her head around, peering at her stoic boyfriend, who had been staring nonchalantly at the tabletop for almost the entire lunch hour.
"Morning, sunshine…" she teased, bending down so her face became dangerously close to his niveous one. Sakon averted his eyes almost as soon as he had looked up at them, a scowl taking over his usually smug expression. Ukon nudged Kankurou in the ribs and motioned to his disgruntled twin, but dared not say a thing.
"Hellooo? Kimimaro? Hey… Hey, you don't look so hot. You sick?"
Kimimaro started, jerking back from Tayuya a small bit.
"Stop that," he said, looking away.
She frowned in displeasure and rested a hand on his elbow, which was trembling minutely along with the rest of his frail body. "C'mon, I'm just worried for your goddamn health… you don't look good."
"I said stop, Tayuya," he said, standing up abruptly.
"Fine! Goddamnit!" The orange-haired girl exclaimed as she withdrew her hand, sinking back into her seat as if she had been reproached physically as well. She began to play with the multicolored bangles covering her forearms, careful to keep their melodious clinking in a hush.
"Actually, she's right," Sakon said quietly, the scowl on his face replaced with a look of concern. "Kimimaro."
"I'm fine," Kimimaro said in response, taking taut steps away. "I'm… just going out to get some air."
Sakon have a testy sigh, quickly dog-earing the corner of his page and snapping his book shut. He shoved it into his backpack and slung it over his shoulder, rising to his feet.
"You can have the rest of my lunch, Kankurou," he said as he began away.
"Umm… thanks?"
Ukon caught hold of the fraying hem of Sakon's T-shirt firmly, holding him back. "And where are you going?"
"After Kimimaro," Sakon answered coldly, meeting Ukon's insistent glare head on. No one seemed to notice except Kankurou, as Kin, Dosu and Zaku had started bickering again and were beginning in on creative death threats (Jiroubou and Kidoumaru were debating between breaking them up and continuing to watch) and Temari had taken it upon herself to cheer up Tayuya. A quiet moment passed between the twins before Ukon lowered his hand from his brother's shirt and Sakon swiveled quickly around, stalking out of the cafeteria.
"Idiot," Ukon muttered as he went back to stabbing his fries with his fork.
Kankurou rested his painted chin on his hand laxly, eyes following Sakon as he departed. "Ukon… why did you let him go?"
With tired eyes, Ukon just laughed.
o
Thursday night
Useless, worthless son of a-
(Stop it.)
Don't' you dare look at me like that again, you-
(Stop it!)
There was the sound of rubber scraping against pavement as Gaara stumbled over the sidewalk, able to regain his balance before falling face first onto the ground. He took a second to recompose himself, breathing in gulps of cold November air, thick with a humid stillness that was somehow haunting and calming at the same time. Every now and the wind would pick up and toss about viciously for a short while before dying down again.
Restless in his bedroom, Gaara had decided to take a short walk before dinner. As opposed to the usual route he took by the playground and around that area, he had gone in a direction more towards downtown, and had quickly gotten himself almost lost. The area he had come into was a bit rundown and practically abandoned, though he could hear voices from just a bit around the corner; clipped, vehement dialogue.
"…come on, now… don't…"
"Look, I said…"
Gaara perked up, his footsteps quickening. That voice… he recognized…
"…have that… you…."
"Yes…do… fucking rich…"
"…don't…!"
Gaara stopped still as he made his way onto the corner, eyes stuck on the sight ahead of him. He had tried convincing his ears it was not Neji's voice, that it was someone similar or he was hearing things, but the sight confirmed it. The Hyuuga had his fists clenched angrily at his waist while three adolescents stood before him; one female, two males, who went by the name of Kin, Dosu and Zaku respectively (not that Gaara knew that at the time, though). What scared him most, though, was the packet he knew contained a pretty white powder within it that Kin had produced from her messenger bag and was currently holding between her fingers in a sultry manner. This, along with the not-so-little pocketknife Dosu held at the ready, and the hand Zaku raised to the collar of Neji's shirt, gripping the fabric strongly, caused a stir inside of him, anger bubbling up quickly into his head, so loud. Neji could take one guy, but three… and the knife, it was…
"S-stop!" Gaara yelled in a tremulous voice, daring a step or two forwards. Neji glanced over Zaku's shoulder, eyes widening as he saw the redhead heading slowly towards them.
"Hm?" Zaku glanced back, smirking. "He your friend?"
"Go, Gaara," Neji hissed.
However, Gaara did not seem to be listening, his eyes hardening over. "I said stop! Let him go!"
"This is a waste of time," said Kin apathetically. "Let's just go."
Zaku gave Neji a slight shove, fist knocking painfully into the brunette's throat. "You know, I'm actually having quite a bit of fun here…"
"This is going a bit too far, Zaku," Kin said, an edge rising on her voice.
Zaku ignored her and turned to Dosu. "Make sure his friend doesn't interfere, got me?"
"Aye-aye, capt'n," Dosu said with a joking salute, and began over to Gaara.
Neji took advantage of Zaku's distracted state and kicked him hard in the shin. However, Zaku was able to keep his firm grip on Neji's shirt as he stumbled, and pushed him backwards onto the ground, pavement scraping painfully against his palms. As the Hyuuga fell back, he could vaguely hear Gaara yelling, and a mild protest from Kin, though they were out of his frame of vision. Neji scrambled to his feet, only to stumble again as Zaku's fist connect with his jaw.
"At first, I didn't mind you," Zaku sneered, "But then you had to go pissin' me off…"
"Fuck you," Neji spat, feeling a few flecks of rain land on his skin as the wind picked up again, and the heavy clouds hovering overhead let down a scattering of pieces of hail. "Leave Gaara out of this!"
He lurched forwards with a clenched fist, swinging his arm at Zaku's head, but the other ducked. However, Neji quickly brought his leg up to kick and was able to hit Zaku in the stomach before he was once again knocked off balance and down onto the ground. Pain shot up his arm as skin tore against the rough pavement. He lifted his arm to quickly check on the wound, wincing as he saw a long but thankfully shallow scrape, blood beginning to trickle out and down to his elbow, where small vermillion drops began to splatter the ground.
He heard movement before him and focused his attention back to Zaku. Fortunately, his attacker had been disabled by the knife pressed to his throat by…
"Gaara," Neji murmured, staring up at the petit teen that had somehow managed to catch Zaku off-guard and twist one arm behind his back, the knife he had stolen from Dosu pressed to Zaku's neck. Neji glanced to the side, seeing Kin tending to Dosu, sending Zaku a glare.
"I told you it was enough, Zaku!" she shouted, though her tone sounded defeated, her eyes slightly scared.
Neji paid no mind, though, as the feral look in Gaara's hazy emerald eyes had captured him. It was frightening to see him as such, muscles taut and quivering, breath coming in short, but controlled gasps. He looked a bit bruised and scraped up, but Neji could see no major injuries and was grateful for that. It was frightening, though… Gaara did not seem himself in the least…
"Oi," Zaku hissed, feeling the knife press a little more into his skin, Gaara's finger readjusting their grip anxiously. "Tell your friend here to let me go, kay? I'm sorry. I got caught in the moment. Okay?"
"Oh." Neji's almost dazed eyes looked to Gaara, his lips opening to speak. But to be honest with himself, he was a little scared to say anything to Gaara just then…
"Alright…" he started unsurely, trying to convince him it was the same Gaara whom he had coaxed into laughter; the same Gaara who had comforted him and had somehow broken down his shell; the very same Gaara he had kissed…
"Hey! Gaara!" came a shout from a ways away, accompanied by two pairs of footsteps. The wind swept in harshly, bringing another thin shower of rain and pieces of hail.
"What the hell? Gaara!" the voice came again. Neji looked up to see Kankurou running towards them, Ukon close behind.
Gaara's head snapped up, as if suddenly aware. The raw look in his eyes began to diminish as his fingers uncurled from around the knife, letting it clatter to the ground, the clang of metal against pavement ringing in the ears of anyone close enough to hear. He let go of Zaku quickly, his respiration quickening as he took a few staggered steps towards Neji and crouched down in front of him, seemingly oblivious to Kankurou's shouts. Slowly, he brought up his shaking hand, eyes staring widely at Neji's arm. For a few seconds he remained that way, looking in horror and astonishment at the blood drying on Neji's skin.
Neji, as much as he despised himself for it later, could not bring himself to speak a word.
"…I…" was all Gaara was able to choke out before jerking back and pushing himself to his feet. Shaking as if he were extremely cold, he went backwards a few steps before turning quickly and beginning off down the road in a sprint.
"What happened?" Kankurou panted as he came up beside Neji, doubling over to rest his hands on his knees. Zaku had gone over to Kin and Dosu, who were talking to Ukon in hushed, wary tones.
Neji struggled quickly to his feet. "With Gaara, I'm not sure… I was just… goddamnit, it's my fault! I'll go after him."
"I'm coming with you," Kankurou said, giving him a glare. "And after that I want the full story."
Neji gave a curt nod, and both set off in the direction Gaara had been headed, ignoring the harsh pitapatation of hail and an icy rain slapping against the ground.
o
Step, step, step, step.
Look what you did!
Breath in, breath out.
You stupid piece of shit!
Step, pant, step, gasp, keep running.
Are you doing this on purpose or something?
(blood, trickling from the abrasion like)
RED
What's wrong with you?
Step, step, keep breathing, keep running.
(running smooth over his skin, the lesion beginning to clot)
Running away again, huh?
LOVELY REDNESS SEEPS
(the blood on Neji's skin, he winced in pain)
Eyes close, eyes open, pant, gasp, step.
You cowardly little bastard!
SICK SICK BEAUTIFUL
(blood on Neji's skin)
Eyes close, pant, choke, step, step.
(blood)
PULSING PULSING
(skin, he winced in)
Why are you crying? It's not as if anyone cares!
THROBBING THROBBING
Eyes open, choke, sob, gasp, keep running.
(Neji winced in blood)
DRIP PRETTY SCARLET
You're so feckless. You sicken me!
Step, step, choke, cry, scream, keep running.
GLOSSY MACABRE STRAWBERRY
(Neji's blood)
Gasp, scream, shiver.
(Neji's blood)
Stop screwing up everyone else's lives!
SEEP IN, SEEP OUT
Step, step, pant, cry, cry, choke.
(Neji's blood)
I'm sorry.
o
"Kankurou, stop pacing," Temari murmured, looking up briefly from where she sat beside Neji on the couch, calmly wrapping gauze over the cut on his arm. Her voice was just barely audible under the loud cacophony of hail banging relentlessly against the roof. The rain that had accompanied it in short bursts had turned to a light sprinkle of snow.
"I'll pace if I want to pace, Temari."
"Actually," Mariko said, coming in the room with a few clean towels in hand, "You should probably change; you're soaked."
"I'm not soaked." Kankurou looked agitated, but took a towel from her nonetheless and began rubbing it against his mess of brown hair. "Stupid weather…"
Mariko hung the other towel over Neji's shoulders and neck, receiving a nod as thanks.
"I would like to have met you under different circumstances," she said, perching on the arm of the couch. "But that's alright. I'm Mariko, Gaara's caretaker."
"Hyuuga Neji," the damp-haired teen responded. "Gaara's… uh…"
"Boyfriend," Temari supplied, causing Neji to blush slightly.
A loud sigh escaped from Kankurou's lungs, the towel dropping to the floor. "I'm going back out to look for him."
"No you aren't," Mariko said firmly. "Not in this weather. Besides, it's dark out."
"I don't care!" Kankurou protested. "Gaara is-"
He was cut off be the creak of the front door as it opened, the noise of the storm outside going full force for a second before the door closed and muffled them once more. A soaking wet redhead slowly made his way to the living room, arms wrapped around himself for warmth even though it had all fled from his numbed body. His crimson locks were practically plastered to his scalp with rain and the snowflakes that clung to the strands, clothing hanging heavily from his thin frame.
"My God, Gaara…" Kankurou mumbled, heading over to his brother. Neji got up as well, draping the towel he had been using over Gaara's shoulders and back and taking his hand, having picked up the disinfectant from the coffee table with the other.
"Come on," he said softly, leading Gaara to the washroom, "We'll get you cleaned up."
Gaara followed wordlessly, looking almost dazed, and Kankurou followed, hopping onto the counter. The Hyuuga brought Gaara over to the toilet, having him sit on it.
"You scared us, kiddo," Kankurou said, trying his best to be comforting. "We were all worried."
Gaara said nothing, continuing his staring competition with the floor.
Neji sighed, unscrewing the bottle of disinfectant. "Damn, I forgot the cotton balls… Kankurou, are there some more in the cupboard?"
The brown-haired teen nodded, tossing the bag to Neji after rummaging around in the closet for half a minute or so. The Hyuuga had to admit, it was a little odd seeing Kankurou sans all his Kabuki make-up. Even after seeing him that one morning after Hallowe'en, he still had not quite adjusted.
"Here, Gaara," Neji said, dowsing a cotton ball with the liquid, "this will hurt a bit… okay?"
Gingerly, he raised his arm to cleanse the small scrape on Gaara's cheek. Gaara's arm moved forwards suddenly, though, his hand resting on Neji's injured right arm. He tilted the appendage to better see where it had been scraped, the wound now covered by Temari's bandages.
"Did I…d-do this?" he asked, unable to take his eyes from the gauze.
Neji shook his head. "No, of course not."
"You… you don't have to l-lie, I-"
"He isn't lying, pipsqueak," Kankurou said. "If anything, you saved his ass from being kicked."
Gaara had no reaction to the comment, eyes narrowing. "W-what… happened?"
"What?"
"I don't remember… quite what…"
"Sssh, please," Neji said, freeing his arm from Gaara's grasp as to begin to cleanse the redhead's injuries. "I need to clean these, or they'll get infected, alright?"
"Let him talk," Kankurou interrupted as he slid from the countertop. "What happened, Gaara?"
Gaara flinched at the touch of the disinfectant, then glanced up accusingly at Neji. "You… y-you were…"
"It would be best to do this later, when he's calmer," Neji tried to insist, loading another cotton ball.
"Actually," Kankurou said, "I'd like to know what you were doing there. Ukon and I were coming back from the theatre when we came across you… Those three were friends of mine and I know they can get a little violent, but they don't pick serious fights without some reason. What were you buying from them, Hyuuga?"
Neji winced, looking as if he had been slapped hard across the face. "Look, I wasn't…" He sighed. "I didn't buy from them, Gaara, I promise you that. I had agreed to meet them there a while ago… so, I went to cancel the deal, but apparently, the stuff they had gotten for me was expensive and hard to get. They were upset when I didn't… I owe them about $30, anyways… and the fight escalated from there." He dared a look up at Gaara, who still looked dazed. "That's all, Gaara. I promise."
"You've bought from them before, though…" Kankurou said slowly.
Neji put the cap back on the disinfectant, hesitating before giving a pained nod.
Both looked away as there came a knock on the door. It opened a small bit and Temari slipped in, a pile of dry clothing in hand.
"Here," she said, handing the bundle to Kankurou. "You all need to get changed." She glanced down at Neji and Gaara, eyebrows furrowing. "Is everything alright? I can help, if-"
"It's okay, Temari," Kankurou sighed.
"You're lying," she said casually as she exited, "And I expect the full story from one of you tomorrow morning. Oh yeah," she poked her head back in. "Neji, Mariko says you can stay the night if the storm doesn't let up soon. She's already phoned your uncle to make sure it's okay."
"Thank you," Neji said, looking up just fast enough to catch the clothing Kankurou had thrown to him.
"Gaara and I will use our bedroom to change," Kankurou said, leaning over to slip his hand into Gaara's, guiding the listless boy away.
Neji nodded, though as soon as he heard the door click shut, he leaned forward to bang his forehead against the wall, gritting his teeth together.
"Damn…"
o
Five or so minutes later, Neji cautiously pushed open the door to the bedroom, already able to feel Kankurou's piercing stare on him. The elder of the brothers sat on his own bed, chin resting on his clasped hands and eyes watching Neji. Gaara was slumped on his own bed, knees brought up to his chest and still shivering.
"Can I sit with you?" Neji asked him softly.
Gaara nodded, but without lifting his eyes.
None spoke for a small while, the only sound that of the hail hitting the roof above them in rapid percussion. Neji's arm brushed against Gaara's once or twice, but he felt Kankurou would stop him if he attempted to embrace Gaara, and he worried urging Gaara to talk would (he almost laughed at his word choice) damage him. Finally, the redhead tilted his head up slightly, opening his mouth to speak.
"I…" he started shakily, "What did… I-I do? I… went for a walk, but…"
"You don't remember?" Kankurou asked.
Gaara shook his head in response. "It's… blurry."
"This has happened before, hasn't it?" his brother asked.
The redhead nodded shakily, taking a deep breath. "I go away… It's like…" he squinted, trying to come up with the right words. "Th-the noise in my head got… got so loud… I couldn't… I was there, but… I don't know. I was bad, wasn't I?"
Kankurou stiffened. "You weren't 'bad', Gaara, you were trying to help Neji."
"It's true," Neji added, bringing a hand to rest gently on Gaara's shoulders, feeling Gaara flinch involuntarily.
"But you…you got hurt…"
"That was my own damn fault," Neji laughed tiredly. "Not yours. Alright?"
"To sum it up for you, Gaara," Kankurou said, standing, "You came across Neji about to get beat up, and were somehow able to fend the guys off. You did nothing bad. I repeat; You. Did. Nothing. Bad. Now I'm gonna go give Temari a little reassurance; she's probably going insane with worry."
The door shut behind him, leaving Neji and Gaara alone in the quiet bedroom, the air still thick with emotion and tension. Gaara continued to stare at his knees, another bout of sickness growing in his abdomen. The week had been going well for the most part, and now this… Something always had to happen and ruin things, and he could not help but feel it was his fault. However, at the same time, he was beginning to doubt that. It was strange really, the feelings that had come over him, forcing him to surrender himself… it was as if he had stopped restraining himself and let go for a moment… and it felt… not so bad… Coming back was hard, though, and he felt as though he were half there and flimsy… as if a ghost, an echo…
He was distracted from his thoughts as Neji removed his hand from his shoulder with a forgiving smile, and lay down on the far side of the bed. He raised a hand, flicking loose strands from where they had fallen onto his face, and smiled as he caught Gaara watching him, almost like he were pretending nothing was wrong at all.
"Come on," he said, patting the unfilled space next to him. "You should rest."
Gaara dared a glance up at him, shifting as if to comply to Neji's request, though completely different words came to his mouth.
"I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Neji told him.
Tentative still, Gaara lowered himself down onto the bed beside the brunette, flinching as he felt Neji's arms wrap around him.
"I should be sorry," Neji whispered. "I should be thanking you."
"But I-"
"Sssh." Neji placed a kiss on Gaara's forehead, drawing the boy closer to him. The redhead's temple rested on Neji's shoulder, warmth seeping in where Neji's body touched his. He allowed himself to close his eyes, body slowly relaxing from its tense, on edge state. He let his breathing slow, let himself feel safe, warm and protected, let himself stop hating himself entirely for a moment, and found it contagious. He snuggled into Neji's chest, effortlessly snapping the restraints he before had put on himself, if only for that moment.
Outside, the hail continued rapping against the roof, the light dusting of snow scattered over the ground beginning to melt.
End chapter 18