Stronger Than Fire

By: Aviantei

Chapter Four

"So in the end, the whole point of the Eastern Research Branch was to look into methods of rejuvenation, with the hope that the affliction on the Commander's human host could be reversed. Of course, Gedouin was actually looking into immortality as well, in hopes to be more useful…" Renzo slumped over his new desk, pushing his tablet aside. "Is it just me, or did Gedouin not think things through at all?"

"Of course not." Almost disinterested, Emília's fingers continued to scroll across her own tablet. Her eyes flitted back and forth, but Renzo wasn't sure if she was seeing anything in front of her. "He wasn't trying to help anyone out. He was a pathetic man who couldn't do anything but crave the affection of others. He convinced himself that he was special, but it wasn't enough. He tried to switch himself so that someone else would complement him. In the end, he created an idealized version of the Commander, and then destroyed himself pining after a fantasy." She paused, her finger hovering over the screen. "Like I said, it's pathetic."

Renzo felt a tightness in his throat. "That's a bit harsh, wouldn't you say, Boss?"

"No, I wouldn't," the woman rejected, instantly. She made eye contact, a sudden flash of bright green. "Everything I said is completely true. And I told you, 'Emília' is just fine."

Renzo chuckled. He couldn't really help it. He had made the joke of her being his new superior, and now –chan just didn't seem to cut it at all. "Sorry, sorry," he apologized, not wanting to be on the receiving end of a glare. "But the good news is that all the corruption is internal, and mostly centered on Gedouin. There were no outside leaks, and anyone who could have been a potential problem was abandoned at the base." Renzo sat up again, leaning backwards in his chair. "I guess that this assignment's closed up, then. Unless you noticed something while you were there…?"

Emília was already working on her computer again. She did shake her head though, her hairstick beads swaying into sight for a moment. "You're all right. We can hand your research off to Arlie, and xe can just take of things from there." Her frown deepened, and Renzo leaned forward.

"Don't frown like that, Emília-chan," he sang, "you'll get wrinkles that way." It was a familiar jab he had shot at Izumo before, and it felt strange to have someone else's name in it.

"I will not. I take plenty of care of my own skin." Renzo raised an eyebrow. That was a more defensive reaction than he had expected. "But since that was your way of asking, I'm a bit stuck in what to have you do. Officially, we're supposed to compose all the data you collected on the True Cross and Kamiki, but there's nothing wrong with multi-tasking. I just wanna have an assignment for you that isn't completely dull desk work."

Renzo nodded absentmindedly. It wasn't in his place to argue about these sorts of things, so he would take what he could get. Besides, just reporting information was boring, and a proper assignment sounded interesting.

"You would think that with war being declared, there would be plenty of interesting things to do." Emília continued messing with her tablet, each touch on the screen now admitting the small sound of a barely audible tap. "But it looks like everything else is confirming information or agent placement. True, those are important, but how dull can you get?" She tossed the tablet aside, it landing on a nearby couch. "You don't want to get caught up in anything lame like that, right?"

"I guess not." To be honest, Renzo didn't know what he wanted to do. Sure, that sounded boring, but so did just sitting around. It had only been a few days, and he was already tired of talking about the True Cross. "But I mean, it's your call, right, Boss? I'll go along with whatever you think is right."

Emília looked up again, but this time she actually seemed to be seeing him "Whatever I think is right, huh?" she said. Renzo didn't exactly feel a chill, but something shook him the slightest bit. "Well, putting that aside, you'll just be stuck on desk duty with me for a while. I don't feel like sending you to do things that are below your league. Sorry about that."

"No, it's fine." While boring, there was one perk; namely that Emília was probably the cutest boss that Renzo could ask for in a group of world dominating idealists. Especially once you started to consider that people like Gedouin were also part of the Illuminati. "But you sound pretty bored yourself. You don't want to go out into the field?"

Emília's smile turned wistful. "Yeah, fieldwork is what I'm best at," she said. "Well, you know all about that. But that's how things are; you're good at something and everyone wants you to be in charge of other people who do it." She shrugged, relaxing back into her seat. "I guess I can't complain too much, considering what all I've been working on. But you have to wonder if letting people be in charge of things is so they can't get any better at it, huh?"

That was an interesting theory. "Do you think that's true?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter if it is or not." She looked to the side, toying with her hair again. "Because when it comes down to it, I don't let other people stop me from doing the things that I want."

Perhaps the fact that her expression didn't change was the most concerning thing of all.

Once again, Renzo sat down in front of Arlie Nikita. It was like he spent most of his time sitting in the other agent's office, talking until his mouth was dry. The whole time Nikita would just transcribe everything Renzo had to say, asking for the occasional elaboration. Xe was the reason that Renzo didn't have to spend all of his time building reports for submission, and he was sure that was the reason that Emília spoke so highly of the bigender third-in-command.

"So what are we talking about today?" Renzo asked. He hadn't quite gotten the hang of all the terminology yet—as if English pronouns weren't ridiculous enough—so he tended to speak as ambiguously as possible. Emília picked on him for it, but Nikita never commented, so Renzo supposed he was in the clear for now. "I'm sure you're tired of hearing me talk all the time, but let's do good work today, Nikita."

"It's not any trouble at all," Nikita said, attaching xir own tablet to a small keyboard. Emília had gotten enough budget leaning their way that all officers had access to them, and all higher officers had personal ones. It made the fact that Renzo had his own a bit uncomfortable. Just how much faith did Emília have in him again? "Today, we're supposed to begin the discussion of Lord Satan's son, Okumura Rin."

Renzo blinked. "Okumura-kun, huh?" Thinking back to the meeting he had listened in on, it did seem like Lucifer did have an interest in him. "Well, he's definitely a character, then. What do you need to know?"

Nikita shifted xir wrist, toying with the several string bracelets there. It was the only action xe took in these sessions that didn't have to do with the workload in question. "Anything at all is helpful, as always," xe said. "But in this case, the Commander is interested in anything relating to Okumura Rin's powers and their manifestation."

Renzo wondered how to report this the next time he came into contact with Mephisto. It wasn't unusual to be interested in Okumura—he was the son of Satan trying to be an exorcist. But when it came from one of the nine Hell Kings, there were probably different motives at hand. But even with that being the case, asking about what powers Okumura had seemed oddly specific.

"Well, I don't know how much I actually can tell you," Renzo admitted. "He kept his powers secret until Golden Week. And even then, all I know is that he was practicing how to control his flame." And with Shura, too, the lucky bastard. "But in Kyoto, he made a temporary contract with Ucchusama, and defeated the Impure King that way. He's gotten some sort of control, too, because plenty of people were caught up in it and not hurt." Renzo spread his arms out. "Yours truly included."

Nikita didn't give any sort of recognition other than xir typing. "How prominent would you say his demonic features are?"

"Well, when he draws Kurikara, it's pretty obvious." The image from the Exwire training camp was practically burned into Renzo's memory. "His ears are elongated, you can see fangs, and of course his flame shows. And there's something in his eyes that's definitely not human." It felt bad talking about Okumura that way, but it was an accurate observation. "But without Kurikara? You can hardly tell. The rest of us Cram School kids were convinced he was perfectly normal for a whole month. A bit of a dork, but normal."

Renzo remembered it a lot more clearly than he would have thought. Part of him wanted to say it was for the investigation—if he was supposed to be a good spy, he had to remember. But beyond that, Renzo could easily say he remembered because it was enjoyable.

"And, well," he continued, trying not to get too lost in thought, "I'm sure you guys know all about his physical stats and stuff. He sucked at schoolwork, but was really earnest when things got rough. He never let us down, since we were his friends." And Renzo had abandoned him just the same. The fact that it was just a ruse didn't actually make it any better. "I guess you could say…the exact opposite of what you would think a son of Satan would be like."

Nikita tapped xir tablet's touchscreen a few times, then resumed typing. There was a prolonged silence, and Renzo waited his turn.

Which is what he normally did. But for some reason, talking about Okumura made things seem a bit wrong. Back at Inari, Lucifer had said it was just fine to leave both of the Okumura twins as they were; no death, no capture. They had to be gathering information on him for a purpose. Renzo shifted, resting his forearms on his knees. "This seems like a pretty specific line of questioning compared to normal."

"And that seems like a pretty lame attempt at getting information out of me," Nikita retorted. Renzo's eyebrows shot up. That was the first time he had ever heard the stenographer take the offensive. "Are you honestly that incapable? Boss chose you, and here you're pathetic."

Renzo held up his hands in defense. "Whoa there, I was just making a comment." Inside, he felt ashamed. He should have known better than to use such an amateur fishing technique on another Intelligence Division member. "And you don't have to tell me twice. Emília-chan goes ahead and berates me at least twice a day." For the sake of argument, he left out all the unfounded faith she seemed to have in him, too. Besides, a person could only get called Kid so many times before their self-confidence took a hit.

"Is that so." Nikita's tone didn't relax any, but it seemed more from a sense of control than any sort of continued irritation. "You wouldn't think it for all she talked up about you. She said you were brilliant at True Cross Academy. Wouldn't stop talking about it." Renzo's cheeks heated up in a flush of pride. It was nice to have a girl openly compliment him for once. "But I really don't get what's so special about you."

"Hey there, I'm just as confused as you are." Maybe playing the amicable route would make this whole mess easier. "If I knew just what she thought was so great about me, I would actually do something with it. Then again, she doesn't seem to know what to do with me, either."

Nikita shut xir tablet, closing the screen over the keyboard and setting it aside. "Well, if you're that out of the loop, I guess I can give you something to work off of: potential."

Renzo waited for the explanation, until he realized that had been it. Potential was the key to this, why Emília seemed to think so highly and so lowly at him at once. He wasn't impressive now, but he could be? Renzo wasn't so sure about that, but he would take it in consideration. Maybe once Emília stopped waffling and actually let him out of the office, he would properly believe it.

"Now," Nikita said, "since you're done wasting my time, there are several more questions to get through today. Don't be a disappointment."

Renzo could at least get behind that sentiment. "Alright. Bring it."

As it was, Izumo was still having a hard time adjusting.

Everything should have been alright. Tsukumo was alright, and the Pink Head hadn't really been trying to hurt anyone—just infiltrate and gather information. Still, the assurance hadn't been in much detail; Izumo wasn't fully convinced that the other Shimas were just keeping things quiet for the sake of security, or if they had no idea what their little brother was running around doing.

Either outcome wouldn't have surprised her much, but Izumo's pessimism tended to lean her towards the latter.

Paku, on the other hand, seemed to only have smiles left. After one relieved burst of crying when Izumo had come back to the dorm, everything had been alright, like she was too happy to worry about anything else. Izumo couldn't really blame her friend, but it was still scary. Like how Paku's withdrawal from the Exorcist Cram School had negated her need to worry about Shima.

"Izumo-chan," Paku said, waving a hand lightly in front of the other girl's face, "don't space out so much. It's time for lunch, you know?"

Izumo blinked, nearly jumping out of her seat. On her desk were her notebook and pencil, open, but not even used. She had spaced out through another class, again. It had been the same thing day after day since they had returned from Inari—Izumo would get lost in thought and completely forget that she had an education, conventional or otherwise.

Sensing her friend's worry, Paku put on a soft smile. "Still tired, huh?" she said. That had been the excuse Paku had made for Izumo, and the latter didn't have the energy to argue it. "No need to worry. You can borrow my notes, and we'll work on the homework together, okay?"

Inside, Izumo grimaced. Who knew just how much homework she had missed for the day? She had Cram School today and practical training, too, and while Moriyama was willing to help, her assistance was more enthusiastic than Paku's, and less actually helpful. Exhaling, Izumo gathered up her things, making sure to put everything back in its place. "Thanks, Paku," she said.

Paku smiled, then tugged on her friend's arm, leading Izumo out of the classroom. "It's no problem. Now come on, you're not gonna wake up any if you don't eat, Izumo-chan! You need to take care of yourself, okay?"

Dislodging herself from Paku's grip, Izumo let herself fall into step. They headed towards the courtyard, where the two girls usually ate lunch. The weather would start to get chilly soon, so every student seemed set on enjoying the sunshine while they can. Just as equally many were stationed under trees, using the shade so all they would get of the outside was fresh air.

Hey, Izumo-chan, you have any idea how to make someone stop seeing demons?!

That hadn't been that long ago, had it? It didn't feel that way, though. Izumo knew it was understandable; she had changed in Inari, probably the best way she had changed in years. But for everything before to seem like it had happened a long time ago, and to someone else…

"Izumo-chan," Paku whispered, dropping her lunchbox in favor of wrapping her arms around the other girl's shoulders, "don't make that face. It looks like you're about to cry."

But Izumo didn't think she could cry anymore.

Even if she could, she certainly wouldn't let it be over that idiot.

Maintaining a sense of self was difficult, no matter who you were. It's unavoidable that other people will put expectations on others; they will wholeheartedly insist in their hearts that another person will match up with their perception of them. And when they don't…there are two options.

The first is a pleasant sort of surprise. People can feel enjoyed to learn something new about someone else. They can think, I've learned something new, so that means that we're closer. Our relationship is now stronger. It can be argued that this is the preferred method, but it can also be said that one has to have a strong attachment to another already before they are willing to have this reaction.

This attachment allows them to see new things in a positive light. They have already considered that this person may act outside of their expectations, and like them enough to accept them.

The second is a sense of betrayal. How could they not have known this? How could the other not match up with the way they were believed to be? How dare they? How dare they, how dare they, howdarethey?

People respond to betrayal in different ways, but the core essence is really the same.

In that case, it was better to never stray from others' expectations. To lay out cards on the table right from the get go, and anything that was left out—it wasn't allowed to exist anymore. It was better off forgotten. Then you play the game, remembering who knows what, and never running astray.

But reality is naturally hard to keep track of. Stories are easier. So then the solution to everything was to make up a story and keep track of the pieces, hide some from some people, show some to others, but never, ever, being fully honest.

And the real self? That sort of thing could just be discarded.

Oh, Arlie. I love xem, even if that entire sequence was a crash course in properly writing out bigender pronouns.

That being said, much thanks to Amulet Misty, Torat134, and OriginFanfiction1432 for their respective reviews, follows, and favorites! There's definitely more to come with this story, so I hope you stay tuned and continue to share your support!

I really like writing the True Cross Academy sections to these chapters, too. I love Izumo-chan, too. Still, I hope I can make all these matching sequences come together properly. There are a couple of threads and possibilities I wanna poke that wouldn't hold up in Ordinary Life and Tilling Soil, so I guess I gotta play with them here.

Sometimes I wonder if I make my fics too self-indulgent, but whatever. The next chapter will be in two weeks, which is at the end of the year! Sheesh, where did the time go?

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