authorsnote: a lil late maybe, maybe? oooops but here it is! I do hope you enjoy.
our story moves on! so let me know your thoughts - review and tell me watcha think!
songrecs: the a team - ed sheeran
By the time they reach Eastwatch he feels ready to drop, but remains resolute, firm and holding onto Sansa (who would drop from the horse if his arms didn't circle her), as they journey forward.
He is tired yes, but if the Nights Watch had taught him anything (and in truth it had taught him a lot), was how to go on no sleep. Night time watches, long journeys ranging North, the exhaustion of pulling two watches in a row. He was used to running on little sleep, and sometimes even none. He could handle it.
And he would handle it, Sansa was relying on him.
He thought back to when others had relied on him. Robb, who he'd left, his brothers, who he'd deserted, Ygritte, who he'd abandoned, and now Sansa. He wouldn't make the mistake he had with the first three, no, he wouldn't leave her, not now, not ever.
They needed to stick together now. He'd be wanted now, and Sansa too, on the run the both of them. They had to stick together, he'd protect her, and with a smile he remembered what she'd said, that she'd protect him. They'd protect each other now, they would, they had to.
He lifted his head then, to see the great Castle of Eastwatch … well it had once been great, now it was crumbling, as every castle was. Still, the gate worked, and he didn't pause to jump down, leading the horse closer (just the one now, the second had long become redundant and he had let it trot off), whilst keeping one steadying hand on Sansa, who remained fast asleep.
He didn't blame her, it had been a hard journey, cold and dark, he was used to these kinds of things, but he knew Sansa wasn't. Aye, she'd been a prisoner (and he felt fury rise in him like a wolf when he thought of what she'd endured), but she had been kept in suitable accommodations. There would be nothing suitable now, not for a while.
The creek of the gate did nothing to wake her as he pushed it, normally it would be manned, but he knew due to lack of resources at this side of the Wall, that they only locked the gate. Thankfully the lock was easy to find, and though it took him a little while to get his arm through one of the unrepaired cracks to flip it, he managed it, and then opened it, the creek making him wince, though again Sansa didn't wake.
He knew she must be exhausted. He felt tired himself but rolled his shoulders back and took a breath. He needed to be alert, awake, on guard. It wouldn't be hard to sneak through the Castle to the docks, and ships from Eastwatch to the East and the South were plenty, he'd just need to get to one, he would get to one, he had to.
"Sansa" He whispered as the gate opened, and he nudged them through the entrance, swiftly closing it behind him. "Sansa"
He gave her leg a shake and she jolted awake, searching wildly, near tumbling off the horse as she woke up shaking, he didn't want to think why she woke up looking so scared.
He was quick enough though to grab her and pull her down from the horse before she could fall, and he noticed her cheeks go pink as he steadied her and offered her a smile of sorts, though it was strained. He'd never hold her lack of survival skills against her, she'd been doing well so far, and of course she was less experienced than he, though he knew he'd have to rectify this issue in the future.
But that was the future, and far off, for now they had to make off the continent, then they could think about the future.
"Sorry" He could see her cheeks were still pink as she stumbled into him, evidently still tired, and cold. He could see her shake and he placed an arm around her, rubbing her shoulder for a moment before his hand went back to his sword.
The horse had been left the other side of the gate, and Ghost was nearby but barely noticeable but for his red eyes, his white fur the perfect camouflage next to them.
Jon glanced around then, there was no one stationed nearby, no one. He couldn't see anyone in the two remaining Guard Towers, nor anyone at the gate he had just broken through. It seemed luck was on their side, or just the despair of the Nights Watch.
Eastwatch was poorly manned, and they were arriving in the early hours, close enough to catch a ship, but early enough that full patrol wouldn't be out yet, in fact it seemed none were out (though he knew there would be some). They should be able to sneak through easily … should, he had learned long ago not to take anything for granted, not to assume or presume, that was a sure way to get yourself killed.
'The only barrier to truth is the presumption that you already have it'
He remembered that phrase from Maester Luwin, and it had stuck with it. Truth was truth, not presumption, and so as he kept a hand on his sword he knew not to presume.
He would get them through Eastwatch and to that boat no matter what.
"Jon" He turned then, to see Sansa, eyes wide, looking nervous, and if he had been more considerate, he would have released his weapon, but he knew consideration could get them killed.
He wasn't sure when he had become so sure and confident in battle tactics, he knew he was a good fighter, but there was more to it than that, he knew he was a better commander now, planner and tactician, he wasn't sure when that had come to be, but it had, and he'd take it, he'd take anything right now, to see Sansa to safety.
Keep Sansa safe, keep Sansa safe, keep Sansa safe … like a mantra in his head, a chant, a vow, one he would not break, could not break.
"I'm hoping we can sneak through" He said, as he started to see Sansa's eyes widen, realising why he was holding his weapon, "Haven't seen anyone so far, and I studied the layout, the docks aren't far off, and we can hopefully avoid the guards"
"And if we can't?" She whispered, and Jon let out a sigh, she knew the answer to that, and so he turned back to the empty castle, taking a step forward, before he felt a hand on his arm, stopping him.
"If we can't?" She asked, and Jon felt a twinge of guilt, for worrying her so, and on instinct pulled her close as he had done more times since they'd reunited than he ever had when they had grown up together.
Stroking her hair down her back seemed to calm her breathing, and Jon tried not to let his tiredness make him snappy and agitated, he should appreciate Sansa was scared, even though he knew they just needed to get on, he couldn't expect the same from her.
Sansa was brave, she'd proven that time and time again, but she was more of a quiet brave, able to stand up, chin in the air in the face of pain. Jon, however, was a louder kind of brave, ready to sneak through a Castle in the dead of the night to escape death. Jon knew he couldn't have endured what Sansa had in Kings Landing, a prisoner, taunted and mocked, he'd have gotten executed, and so he could hardly expect Sansa to do as he did now.
He'd have to help her, he would help her, that was his job now, his job forever.
'And so my Watch begins…'
"If we can't I'll make sure we can" He said, he knew he sounded a little annoyed, and he tried not to, it was just exhaustion, and nerves, and so he took a step back and for a second released his sword and took both of Sansa's hands in his own, his gaze finding hers, his own insistent, hers scared.
"I will get us there" He said, he knew he sounded urgent, he felt it, urgent and insistent, because he would, he would get them through, there was no other option. His exhaustion had him singerly focused, completely, and utterly tunnel visioned on one thing only: getting Sansa on that boat and to safety.
"I know" Sansa said, nodding, "I'm just scared, I know you will" She said, nodding furiously now, her hands clutching his so hard they hurt, though he stayed fast, he did not flinch.
Her faith in him had him leaning forward, he placed a kiss to her forehead, swift and firm, before he kept his left hand in hers, his right hand going to his sword.
It was time.
"Follow me" He whispered, "Do not let go of my hand and do as I say" He didn't like to be so authoritative, but he knew he had to be clear, confusion could get them killed, "If I tell you to run, run"
"Jon… I" Sansa began but he squeezed her hand, cutting her off.
"If I tell you to run, run" He repeated, he went to repeat it again as Sansa fell silent, but he then heard the crunch of a boot and quickly pulled her behind the nearest building, the smithy by the looks of it, tugging her to crouch to the floor as a guard walked by, a yawn echoing across the empty courtyard, as the two of them held their breaths.
"Okay" Jon whispered, tugging her forward, around the smithy and out the other side of the courtyard. They were on the right side of the buildings, and the docks were on the left, and so he began to circle through to them, Ghost following, he had no troubles, padding along, silent, almost invisible, easily hiding in bushes or under the buildings if needing too.
They went slow, often ducking behind buildings, Sansa's hand clutching his tightly enough to hurt, though he didn't once complain, just held onto her, having to pull her once or twice into the snow to ensure they weren't seen.
It was quiet and tense, neither dared speak a word as they hurried through the shadows. Eastwatch wasn't that big but twice they had to double back, and though not many guards were on shift, there were enough to ensure they had to sneak slowly and quietly.
"Are we close?" Sansa whispered, after fifteen minutes of hiding, Jon nodded, for he knew they were creeping closer to the docks, though he hadn't caught sight of them yet.
"What was that?" Jon heard and his eyes widened as the sound of boots on snow began to creep closer to their hiding place, Jon gritted his teeth, his hand on his sword, knowing this might be it, he might have to strike. He glanced at Ghost who had flattened himself to the ground, but his eyes were alert, and Jon knew if he had to strike, Ghost would be there to aid him.
He didn't want to have to fight though, for several reasons. The primary being that he didn't want to kill a fellow brother; he'd already betrayed them, he didn't want to hurt them further. Also, he didn't want to kill in front of Sansa. He knew it was stupid, and he knew no doubt one day (and one day soon) she'd see him kill, for their journey was bound to be fraught with danger, but for now, just a few days into being reunited, for now he didn't want her to see him with blood on his hands.
Was that too much to ask? Yes, she'd seen him fight at Crasters, but that was different, she hadn't actually seen him in the fight, no blood, no death. Couldn't it be that way for just a little longer?
"Sansa" He barely spoke, but he knew she could hear as he leaned closer, his lips almost brushing her ear to ensure she could hear him, but the guard couldn't, "Run if I say so, you understand?" He turned to Ghost then. "Protect Sansa Ghost, if she runs, you follow" One blink and Jon knew his direwolf had understood the command.
He pulled back then, to see Sansa looking at him, scared but determined. He could see her shaking her head, and he shook his too, frustrated, for the guard was getting closer, his footsteps nearer and nearer.
He only realised, seconds away from the guard rounding the corner Sansa wasn't shaking her head at his command but indicating to the bush nearby, and he would have grinned, grabbed her, and hugged her for her idea if not instead yanking her forward.
He clapped a hand over her mouth to stop her shrieking, knowing it could be a reflex, and was quick in rolling them into the bush, taking the brunt of the roll onto his back, stifling a groan hard in his throat to stop any noise, before he rolled Sansa onto her back, he on top of her, covering them both with his black cloak, hoping it would hide them in the dark green bush, the dark of the night giving them extra camouflage.
They were both silent, not moving, not breathing, Jon's hand still clapped over her mouth, both hidden under the cloak, his body pressed atop of hers. Neither commented on the position, but Jon could feel Sansa's heart racing against his chest, racing furiously. At that, he pulled his hand back, only to place a finger to his own mouth, an indication to stay silent which Sansa nodded at, before nodded, propping himself up, though barely, for they couldn't make a sound.
"What was it Egor?" Another guard yelled, and Jon held his breath, heard Sansa do the same as the boots got closer and closer, stopping just shy of them, before they swivelled and turned, the crunch growing fainter before they heard perhaps the best words, they'd both heard since arriving.
"Nothing must have imagined it" The guard who'd near discovered them yelled, before their voices grew fainter and their footsteps were soon lost.
"Fuck" Jon breathed out, rolling off Sansa, to which she let out a sharp breath herself, he could see her shaking, and wished he could comfort her, but there was no time, none, he knew Eastwatch ships left early, and so he could only grab her hand and hurry them to crouch back behind the same building, Ghost at Sansa's skirts now as he reappeared.
Jon allowed a second to turn to Sansa who was still shaking, "Are you alright?" He asked, he'd never usually take the time, but for Sansa he would, he needed to make sure she was okay, he didn't know why, he just did.
Her nod reassured him, he knew she wasn't really okay, but it would have to be enough as he pulled them forward again, they didn't have time for anything else.
Another ten minutes of circling back, crouching down behind buildings and then finally, finally, he spied the frozen water, and there in the distance, not far off, a ship coming forth. No matter where it was going, they were getting on it, they'd make their way to Essos from there if they had to.
They crept closer, close enough to get to the last building, the guard tower overlooking the docks, which like the others was empty, mercifully empty. Could they get through this without spilling any blood? He truly hoped so.
"Okay wait here" He said, pulling Sansa down to sit in the snow, shadowed well by the side of the building, the docks on their other side, giving them a good view of the ship coming in, it was slow but would be here soon, and wherever it was going, they would go to.
"What if the ship isn't going to Essos?" Sansa whispered, leaning back, he could see she was still tired, and he had no doubt he looked worse. As soon as they got on the ship, he was bolting their cabin shut and collapsing on the nearest bed, or floor if that was all that was available.
"We get on it regardless" He said, and she nodded, again he felt warm at her faith in him, "We need to get out of here, unless it docks directly in Kings Landing anywhere else is better" Again she nodded, and he felt her shiver at the mention of her prison, to which he looped his arm around her shoulder again, to offer comfort and warmth.
Jon wasn't a particularly touchy person, but he could see Sansa drew comfort from it, and he from her in truth, and so he held her close until the ship grew closer and closer, until he was pulling her to her feet, it was near docking.
There was no way to tell where it was going, and he was just thankful it was early enough that the one guard checked the papers before nodding and moving on. Jon knew it wasn't unusual for passengers to come via Eastwatch to go South, but none this early, he just hoped their gold would curb any questions.
With a breath, he knew this moment would be crucial. Sure, he could kill the guards, and the Captain, even if he really didn't want to, he could, and would, to keep Sansa safe, but he couldn't steer or captain a ship, if they didn't get on this then that was where trouble would start.
"It will be okay Jon" He felt Sansa's hand close around his again, squeeze, this time, she offering him reassurance, "It will"
It was what he needed, and he nodded, squeezing her hand back before he strode forwards, there was no way to run onto the ship and with the guard gone, he knew now was the moment.
Now or never.
"Where you going?" Jon asked as they reached the Captain, who looked tanned and weathered. He looked up at them both, first at Jon, nervous a little, more so when he spied Ghost, and then at Sansa, with nothing more than curiosity. That made Sansa relax a touch but Jon stayed tense, his back straight, even covering Sansa slightly behind him, Ghost at her skirts doing the same.
"Pentos" The Captain spoke, "And then on to Lys, the wolf will cost extra, double"
Jon nodded, and tried not to let the relief show on his face, thankfully, thankfully he was stoic enough to keep his expression masked, and just managed a nod.
"A cabin then, and deal" He said, and the Captain nodded, the silver was exchanged and then that was that. Simple, easy, underwhelming. He wasn't about to haggle, not here, not now, they had enough money and enough they could sell, now was not the time to be cheap.
They boarded the ship, empty except for crew, though he knew the Captain proposed to stop in the Vale before going East, so no doubt more would come aboard, they'd need to be careful. For now though they made their way to the front, out on deck, the crisp cold air felt like home to him, and though Sansa shivered he could tell for her too, especially as he wrapped his black cloak around her, wanting to experience some more of the cold himself, he knew he'd hate the hot weather of the East, better to revel in the ice now.
The ice, the Wall, home. It had been his home for years now, and he was leaving. For Sansa, it was all for Sansa, and that was the only thing that could have pushed him – bar Arya, to leave this place, the only thing to have him abandon his brothers.
Family.
As they reached the deck Jon couldn't help but turn back to the Wall, resting his hands on the edge of the ship, looking back at the great creation of ice. Who know when he'd return? If he ever would?
Longclaw sat at his hip, and he felt a sudden regret at not leaving it behind, he hadn't even thought about it. He hoped old Mormont didn't hate him for it, wherever he was now, perhaps he wouldn't if he knew why? For family? But then he knew the Old Bear valued honour, as his Father had, as Lord Stark had.
He hadn't even considered it and couldn't lie at the comfort the sword gave him at his hip. Should he have?
His mind was only distracted as he felt Sansa next to him, looking at the Wall too now, Ghost at their feet.
"I'm only just now able to appreciate it" She offered, and he smiled at her attempt to distract him, no doubt he looked troubled, and he felt it, another stain on his honour…
But then, that was the difference between him and his Father, between Jon Snow and Eddard Stark, Jon would in a heartbeat sacrifice his personal honour if he had to, for others, for family, for Sansa. That was the difference, and one he'd never regret, never.
"It is amazing" He said, it was, just as the first day he'd seen it, and he felt Sansa nod, as she rested her head atop his shoulder.
Anticlimactic, just what was ordered, an underwhelming exit, his eyes on the Wall, Sansa safe by his side, Ghost at their feet, their purses filled with enough for them to survive on, the boat taking them to relative safety.
The boat pulled away, and Jon half expected Thorn charging up the docks, demanding his head, and Longclaw. Jon couldn't help but feel a touch better then, if he had left the valyrian steel no doubt Thorn would have snatched it up. Forget his honour, he knew Longclaw was better served at his hip than Thorns. Or at least he hoped so…
And that was it, as the ship pulled into the icy waters, as the great Wall became more distant. That was Jon Snow's exit from the Wall, quiet, easy, underwhelming, he knew he better appreciate it, that it wouldn't be this calm for long. He'd relish Sansa safe by his side, her eyes fluttering closed as she looped her arms around his, to rest on him. He'd relish getting away free, being safe, off to Essos, safe with family, Sansa and Ghost safe and with him.
He was right of course, to bask in the calm, even as guilt continued to eat at him and his worries never really went, no, they never would, and he was wise in that regard.
For bigger worries were soon to come.
sooo thoughts?
ooof that was tiring to write I'm ngl, I felt as tense as jon, and though one long pov felt appropriate for their chase, and I wanted jon's sole take on leaving it made it difficult to write, just from a length/pacing perspective. still, hopefully you enjoyed! also don't worry, sansa pov next chapter!
and OMG I ALMOST FORGOT GHOST. I realised halfway through edits I hadn't mentioned my previous bby boi 3 took me an hour to go back through and add him in, damn!
anways, do lemme know your thoughts, I love a good review, fav/follow for updates too!
speak soon