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Chapter 5 Fun and Games

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. George Carlin

Remus sat back and let Snape take the lead. Snape settled back into a graceful pose, imperiously gestured for the silver and green bird to come over to him. His smirk grew, as he watched her slowly shake her head and try to nudge the red bird over to him. The red bird quickly bumped the blue bird with her hip causing her to stumble closer to Snape. While Snape found it amusing, Hagrid was beginning to get offended on his behalf.

"Now see 'ere. Professor Snape is the one 'hat is payin' for all this. If 'e wants ye to go to 'im, ye' better go on over," Hagrid's beard was bristling indignantly.

With an angry look over her shoulder at her fellow avians, the green bird strutted up to the seated professor. During the twirling all of the long, green feathers in the front of her waist band had floated free, leaving just the ones in the back to form a kind of long tail. Snape then motioned for the red bird to come over. He could see the red bird's chest rise and fall in a heavy sigh, before she squared her shoulders and also shimmied over to him.

Looking at the red bird, Snape said with a nod at Remus, "My companion here is getting married soon. I want you to give him something to think about on all those long, cold, nights that he is in bed with the same frigid woman," Snape could see her eyes behind the mask and they were narrowed in anger.

Remus grinned, "Now Severus, there is no way I would ever call Amber frigid however, she is pregnant, and soon will get fat and unattractive," now he was speaking to the red bird, "give me something to think about when my wife swells up like balloon."

The red bird tossed her head and swung around so quickly her tail feathers slapped Remus in the face. Looking back over one shoulder in a seductive pose, she began swaying her hips to the music. Remus found that knowing it was Amber made it all the more erotic. She managed a high kick and turn at the same time so that now she was facing him. She began to peel off the gloves that had been revealed when her wing feathers had fallen.

Snape then turned his attention to the green bird, reaching into his pocket he pulled out a handful of galleons, "How much for a lap dance?"

At first he thought he was going to get smacked, and then with a flick of her feathered headdress, she reached out a hand and scooped up several of the coins and tucked them into her cleavage. Staring him in the eyes. She leaned over and placing one hand on either arm of the chair he sat in, she swayed hypnotically from side to side, moving her head closer and closer to his. When she was a breath away, she arched her back and lifted herself onto his lap: almost brushing his face with her breasts at the same time. Snape spit a bit of feather out of his mouth, quirking an eyebrow at her all the while maintaining a bored expression. A glance showed him that the blue bird was keeping the rest of the party entertained, briefly he wondered who Alexis and Amber had gotten to help them with this. Turning his attention back to the dancer now shaking her money maker, he yawned, raising a languid hand to cover his mouth. She seemed to take this as a challenge and redoubled her efforts to get a rise out of him. Snape was smirking; she was doing an amazing job of not really touching him while at the same time moving in very provocative ways.

The red bird now had one foot on the chair between Remus' legs and was really putting on a show. Remus grinned, "Not bad, maybe I can get you to give my fiancé lessons?"

She just arched her back, placing her hands on the floor behind her back and pushed off and managed a back somersault before landing in a split. Remus' mouth was hanging open.

A woman dressed in an evening gown came into the room and blew a bird whistle. The three dancers immediately ran back to their cage and seated themselves on their perches. The doors of the cage swung closed. The girls waved at the wizards as their cage was rolled away.

The woman who had blown the whistle was the owner of the club, Betty, "Gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed your evening," she smiled coolly at the enthusiastic response from Hagrid and Filius. "I'm sorry, but there is another group that has reserved this room for the rest of the evening. You are more than welcome to return to the main room and enjoy more of our stage performances."

Snape and Remus began to gather the group together, ignoring Hagrid and Filius' tipsy protests at ending the evening so soon. Exiting the room, they saw the next group waiting; Remus looked at Snape, "I didn't know they catered to women here as well?"

Snape just shrugged, he wanted to get home and see what Alexis had to say for herself. Just then he heard a very familiar laugh. Looking around the room he watched as a couple of the women shifted to reveal a face he knew extremely well. Grabbing Remus' arm, he pointed over to where Alexis and Amber were laughing and talking with Minerva, Rolanda, and a couple of other women.

Exchanging looks, the two men immediately headed toward the other group. It was unfortunate for Flitwick, that they had been supporting him until they got distracted. Flitwick ended up flat on the floor staring up at the ceiling wondering how the hell he got there and where were all those lovely ladies who had helped him up earlier.

"Ladies," Snape smirked.

"Severus," Alexis laughed up at him, "I won't ask what you're doing here, if you don't ask what we are doing here."

Amber grinned, "Did you have a good time?"

Remus replied, "Well the private dancers were fairly amateurish, wouldn't you say Severus?"

Snape answered, "Yes, I was very disappointed in them, for what I paid I expected something a little more polished and professional."

Alexis, "That's too bad, we have heard such wonderful things about the performers here that we decided to see what all the hoopla was about. Well, maybe the male dancers will be better? It looks like our room is ready. You be careful getting home," Alexis reached up and kissed Snape's cheek, "Wow, it's too bad you didn't have those girls over there, the costumes are gorgeous and the girls look great too."

Snape and Remus turned to look over where Alexis was pointing and they were stunned. There was the red bird, green bird and blue bird all waving at them. Although on closer inspection they realized that it was a single digit wave. The birds were giving them the bird.

"Unless those were your dancers?" Amber had noticed the rude gesture, "I think they may have heard your comments. You had better give them a big tip Severus."

Remus and Snape watched as Alexis and Amber joined the rest of the women and entered the private room.

Remus opened his mouth and then closed it without saying anything, looking from where the dancers had disappeared and then back to the private room. When he opened it again, Snape told him, "Just shut up," and walked over to help Filius to his feet. A few minutes later he managed to get everyone into the carriage and head back to Hogwarts.

Amber and Alexis were leaning on the each other convulsed in laughter. "Did you see their faces when they saw the dancers?" Amber gasped out.

"It was priceless," Alexis nodded.

Betty was smirking, she had made a nice knut this evening but she had to ask, "How did you two get changed and out there so fast?"

"Magic," they gasped out together still laughing.

Alexis admitted, "And practice. That is all we have been doing this week is practicing dancing and the quick change," reaching into her robes she pulled out four purses. Handing the heaviest to Betty, "A little something extra for all you put up with tonight," holding out the other three, "and something for our fine feathered friends, that final wave was perfect. Now bring on the men!"

At that Rolanda let out a whoop and Betty clapped her hands. Three very nicely built young men came in dressed as Muggles. Music began and a disco ball began reflecting sparkles of light as the men began to bump and grind.

Minerva sighed, "I do wish we could have gotten Zorro again," as one of the dancers ripped his shirt off to show a very nice set of abs, "although change can sometimes be good." Hurrying over she pulled out some money and began waving it in the air.

AN: Short chapter but didn't want to leave you in suspense for too long…so where you surprised? Review and let me know.