Disclaimer: I don't claim to own anything.

AN: ICCU thanks for the review…I dedicate this chapter to you…because you inspired it!

Steve2: Here's your plug. Thanks for the LONG review I have printed it and framed it to hang over my computer. Being recently divorced this is my outlet so that is why there is so much sex. Just think if I was out trolling the bars, I wouldn't have as much time to write. Also, I swore if I posted a story I would finish it and try to do it in a timely manner (even if I had to pay someone to finish it for me LOL). I hate getting all caught up in a story and then it just stop.

Thanks to everyone who reviews. Keep them coming please, please, please!

Chapter 6 Going 'Round

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
Ray Bradbury

Alexis was trying to quietly sneak into the bedroom. However, considering that she had enjoyed herself and was very drunk, this was an endeavor doomed to failure. Poppy had provided her with a potion that would keep the alcohol from transferring to the babies through her breast milk. It was a short term potion and if used too often would stop working so it had to be saved for special occasions.

Snape had collected the boys from Poppy, who had volunteered to sit for them while everyone else went out, and put them to bed. Now he was leaning against the headboard watching as Alexis crept into the room with drunken stealth: which meant she was hopping on one foot trying to remove her shoe from the other.

Alexis looked at the bed with bleary eyes. She had managed to get both shoes off and was in the process of removing the rest of her clothes. The robes were fairly simply, up and over the head and onto the floor. The blouse and skirt she wore were presenting more of a challenge. Snape was smirking. He was enjoying this strip show more than any of the others he had seen that night.

She had managed to get her skirt off and now she was wearing her bra, panties and her blouse was dangling from one wrist as she had forgotten to unbutton the cuff before trying to take it off. Snape had to duck as she unclasped her bra and accidentally sent it shooting straight at his head. Alexis still had not noticed him sitting up in the bed watching her. Trailing her blouse, she stumbled to the bed and began to crawl into it. The bed was high and so was she. Snape watched as she leaned against the edge of the mattress. With a Herculean effort, she tried to lift herself into the bed, but was thwarted by her hand slipping on the comforter. The silk blouse against the satin spread made for a very slippery surface. Alexis head disappeared. Snape looked over the side and saw her sitting on the floor. She nodded as if she had reached a decision and struggled to her feet. Snape watched curious as she backed off a few feet before he realized that she was getting a running start. Before he could stop her she had launched herself into a staggering run and with a mighty leap, she hit the side of the bed and slid to the floor.

Snape leaned over to see what she was doing now. She was crawling under the bed. He was trying to decide if he should retrieve her when she began to wiggle back out. She had found the steps the house elves used to be able to reach the bed to change the linens. Dragging them into place, she was finally able to climb into the bed. As she started to crawl over Snape to get to her side of the bed she kneed him in the hip. At his grunt she looked up from where she was straddling his lap, "Severus, are you awake?" she swayed from side to side and tried to focus on him.

"No Alexis, this is all a dream," Snape replied snidely.

Alexis gave a heavy sigh, "Oh that's too bad. If you were awake I would get you to take care of a problem I seem to be having," Alexis yawned and prepared to continue her move to her side of the bed.

Snape's hands on her waist stopped her, "What type of problem?"

"Well, you see," she whispered loudly, "I am very horny. But if you are not awake, there isn't anything you can do about it, is there?"

"This is your dream so I would say that you could do anything you like," Snape replied with a leer.

"That's right," Alexis was so excited she began to bounce on him causing Snape to have to bite back a groan. "I want you to kiss me," Alexis commanded leaning closer.

Snape willingly obliged, using his hands on her waist to urge her closer. He nibbled at her lips until she smiled and opened her mouth to deepen the kiss. Pulling back slightly, "Now, play with my boobs," she gasped into his mouth as his hands came up to caress and fondle her.

"I want to see you, all of you," she demanded lifting her hips so that he could push the covers down off his body, "this is my dream and you are supposed to be naked," Alexis was pouting as Snape revealed his pajama bottoms.

"I can take care of that," Snape pulled his wand out from under his pillow and waved it and removed the rest of his clothes.

Alexis smirked, "Much better," before scooting back until she was straddling his knees. Leaning over she gently ran a finger up and down his erection, "Hello Sergeant Slytherin Snake and how are you this evening?" she whispered against his skin. When it twitched as if in response to her words she giggled before looking back up at Snape, "If I buy you Elephant undies," taking his penis in both hands, "with an extra, extra long trunk, would you wear them for me? Your penis goes into the," Snape interrupted her.

"I believe I know how it works, and no, I would not wear anything so ridiculous," he sneered.

"But Severus, when you get an erection the elephant's trunk goes up and it magically trumpets," Alexis pleaded with him as she continued to handle him.

"How do you know about such things?" Snape asked while wondering why they were even discussing elephant underwear when they were both naked and she was stroking him.

"Raymond was wearing a pair," Alexis leaned down and licked at the head of his penis.

"And just who is Raymond?" Snape managed to get out through clenched teeth.

"He was one of the strippers tonight. But between you and me, I think he stuffs his trunk," whatever reply Snape was about to make to that comment flew out of his head as Alexis took him into her mouth and began swirling her tongue all over.

He groaned in frustration when she stopped to say, "And the sad thing is the trunk was only a medium," before returning to laving him with her tongue.

When she stopped again, he almost pulled his hair out in frustration, "He told me that his girlfriend also does dragons, giraffes and snakes," Alexis giggled, "the snakes come from garter snakes all the way up to giant anacondas," with a considering look at his impressive size, "you would definitely need at least a python if not an anaconda."

Snape was relieved when she finally returned her mouth to his penis. He threaded his fingers through her hair; she pushed her head into his hand and rubbed against it like a cat as she continued to lick him.

"Suck it," he ordered.

Giving him a snappy salute she proceeded to suck and then alternate sucking and licking while pumping him with her hands. When she swirled her tongue around his tip, he lost control.

When he had recovered his breath, he found Alexis laying with her head on his stomach and her arms around his waist, "It's your turn Alexis," he smirked at her.

"No, too sleepy now," she yawned and rubbed her face against him.

"What happened to you being horny?" he asked disappointed as he played with her hair.

"Horny before, sleepy now," Alexis giggled, "I was VERY horny earlier. Do you know how hard it was not to give you a real lap dance?"

Snape's eyes narrowed, "When?" he questioned in a whisper.

"Earlier, you know when I was dancing for you. Amber reminded me when she dropped me off not to say anything to you. But I can tell you anything. You told me so," Alexis' voice was starting to slur with sleep, "You never got mad at all the Valentine's pranks I pulled on you."

Snape was staring at his innocently sleeping wife. So she and Amber had been the dancers tonight and Alexis had been the one behind his Valentine's Day Massacre. This called for some major plotting and planning. She couldn't be allowed to get away with it or she would become insufferable. The main question was would she remember telling him in the morning? A truly wicked sneer made its way across Snape's face; one of the side effects of the potion she had taken to keep the alcohol from entering her breast milk was that she could not take a hangover potion. Snape settled down to get some sleep. His plan of attack would be based on what Alexis remembered in the morning.

Alexis woke to the sound of a thousand tiny little men pounding a thousand tiny little hammers against the inside of her skull. Cautiously cracking one eye open she winced and rolled over against the bright beam of light that had tried to blind her: with the sudden movement, the thousand little men split and became two thousand and exchanged their hammers for mallets. Alexis moaned into the pillow she was trying to smother herself with, even her fingernails hurt.

Snape was standing beside the bed with an evil look on his face and a baby in his arms, "Good, you are awake. Can you help me out by changing Aleser's diaper?" and with that he plunked the baby down with the very full diaper right next to Alexis' nose.

Alexis turned her head toward the baby and made a gagging sound as the full odor of overloaded diaper hit her, "Oh my…what on earth is that?" as she scrambled from the bed and made a rush to the bathroom. The retching sounds led Snape to believe that the first minor act of revenge had been successful. Waving his wand, Aleser was soon in a fresh, clean diaper, "Thanks for the help Aleser. Us men have to stick together," he snickered against the baby's head as he went to check on his wife.

After putting Aleser in his crib and checking on Nathair, Snape headed into the bathroom. Alexis was lying with her head on the seat of the toilet and her eyes were closed. Snape wet a washcloth and wiped off her face. Alexis sighed, "Thanks. I hope I didn't wake you up last night when I came in?"

Snape scrutinized her face, "You didn't wake me," which wasn't a lie, he had been awake and waiting on her, "Do you remember what time you got in?"

"The last thing I remember is leaving the club. Everything else is a fuzzy blur," she grinned with her eyes closed, "Although I do remember a wonderful dream about you. Remind me to tell you about it sometime when I'm not so hung over. That and something about elephants," Alexis' brow furrowed as she tried to remember. Wincing, she smoothed out the wrinkles on her forehead with a shaky hand. Suddenly her eyes popped open, looking up at him, "I'm going to be getting a package sometime next week. Don't open it," she winced at the bright light in the bathroom and closed her eyes again, "Christmas and all that," leaning against his leg, she asked, "You don't happen to have a fast acting poison hanging around anywhere?"

Snape smirked thinking of the twelve different poisons he routinely kept on hand, "Nothing that I can give you," he filled a glass with water from the bathroom tap and handed it to her with a simple headache potion, "Here drink these."

Alexis gulped them down and then gritted her teeth against her stomach's rebellion. When the nausea passed, she nuzzled against his leg. Snape was wearing an evil look as he picked up the metal basin he had earlierbrought in from his classroom and "accidentally" let it drop to the tile floor with a loud reverberating clang. Alexis shot straight up and covered her ears with her hands as she swayed back and forth.

"So sorry, dear, how clumsy of me," Snape said with false sympathy.

Alexis just moaned.

"You need to eat something. It will make you feel better. How about a nice onion and pepper omelet with some of the blood sausage the elves get for Minerva?"

Alexis' hands went from her ears to her mouth as she fought to keep the water and headache potion down that she had just taken.

"Maybe not," Snape replied as he left the bathroom.

Much later Alexis slowly made her way out of the bathroom. Her hair was hanging in a dripping mass down her back and across her face. Snape winced as a blood shot eye peered out from the wet strands of hair that were streaming water down her face.

Taking the towel from her hands, Snape began to blot her hair gently. When he felt her relax against him, he changed from blotting to vigorously rubbing her head. Her hands immediately came up and grabbed his wrists as she moaned at the pain. Snape stopped as her fingernails bit into his skin, "Sorry I was just trying to dry your hair for you."

"Please just use your wand," Alexis begged piteously.

Snape didn't say anything as he waved his wand and her hair was immediately dry. Alexis tottered into the bathroom to hang the wet towel up. Snape waited and was rewarded by a shriek. Alexis staggered out, "What did you do to my hair?" she was pointing at the frizzy mop that was usually a smooth fall of honey blonde hair.

"I don't have much experience with hair and beauty charms," Snape managed to look offended.

Alexis nodded wearily, "I don't suppose you would."

Snape was wondering how to contact Remus without arousing Alexis' and Amber's suspicions. Some of the plans he had would require assistance. He looked over at Alexis and had a thought, "Alexis, what time are you meeting with Remus today for your lesson?"

"Oh pepper, I forgot, I'll have to send him an Owl. There is no way I should be wielding a wand today."

Snape offered helpfully, "Why don't I take care of that for you? You look like you could use some more rest."

Alexis smiled at him gratefully, "You are too good to me."

Severus looked in on Alexis. She had been slowly recovering all day and was almost back to normal, "I have to go into Hogsmeade to pick up a few supplies for the new term that just came in from back order. Would you like to go with me?"

"No thank you," Alexis said, "the boys just went down for their nap."

Snape as always had impeccable timing, "Do you want me to pick anything up for you?"

Alexis thought for a moment, "I can't think of anything. If I do, I'll send Star to you with a note."

Alexis gave him a long kiss.

"What was that for?" Snape asked.

"So you will hurry back," Alexis smirked.

Snape snorted as he headed out the door.

Snape pushed open the door of The Hog's Head pub and looked around for Remus. The place was dirty and musty but they were unlikely to run into anyone else from the school and Snape didn't want word of this meeting reaching Alexis or Amber. Deciding that Remus hadn't arrived yet, Snape stepped up to the bar to get two bottles of butterbeer. The only thing he would trust in this place since he would be able to open the bottle himself.

Remus walked in as Snape was paying for the drinks. Snape indicated a table in the rear. Handing Remus one of the bottles, Snape settled into a chair.

"Interesting choice of meeting places Severus," Remus said looking around, "I don't think I've been in here since seventh year."

Snape raised a brow at this but chose not to comment, "I found out something that I believe will interest you."

Remus just smiled at him and took a drink of his butterbeer, knowing it would irritate Snape that he wasn't asking questions.

Snape gave him an aggravated look before continuing, "The dancers last night were in fact Alexis and Amber," he sat back to wait for Remus' reaction.

Remus sputtered choking on the mouthful of drink he had just taken.

Snape wiped spatters of butterbeer off of his face and robes with a white handkerchief and gave Remus a look of disgust.

"Sorry about that," Remus flushed as he apologized, "How did you find out? I thought…what?...the girls were out there and then the dancers were….?"

Snape sneered, "Alexis came home a little worse for wear and admitted that they were the dancers and that she had been the one behind the Valentine Day pranks."

Remus looked impressed, "Wow, she could give Fred and George Weasley a run for their money."

Snape didn't want to admit it but secretly deep in his Slytherin soul he too was impressed by how Alexis had fooled and manipulated him. It would take a Cruciatus Curse before he would admit it though.

Remus grinned at Snape; seventeen years ago he would have hexed anyone who tried to tell him he would one day say these words to Snape, "So what do you have planned and how can I assist you?"

Snape smirked as he leaned toward the other man, "This is what I thought we would do…"

AN: Bwahaahaa I am taking a six month vacation so I won't be posting for a while. APRIL FOOLS! I tried to post this 4/1/05 but fanfic seemed to be having issues so now it is a late April fools...