Disclaimer: See previous chapters 'cause I still don't own it.
AN: Special thanks to Midnight Lily and Steve2 for all their input and editing and proofing on this chapter and the story.
Chapter 8 Accentuate the Positive
"My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything - even if you have no clue what you're doing." -- Jessica Alba
Alexis and Snape had just returned from the start of term staff meeting. Snape was snickering and smirking at her the whole way back to his office. Finally Alexis had had enough, "What is so amusing?" she asked exasperated.
"Dumbledore really got you this time," he smirked at her.
"What are you talking about?"
"You agreed to be responsible for the first years," Snape was sniggering.
"Yes I did," she snapped back at him not liking the feeling of being the butt of some joke of which she didn't know the punch line.
"You should have asked what all that entails," he informed her.
"I did," she said indignantly.
"Ahhh, but you didn't ask him to clarify 'and a few other things' now did you?" he admonished.
"What did I agree to do?" Alexis asked him beginning to get nervous.
"One of the 'other things' is to teach a sex education class," Snape told her with a wicked gleam in his eyes.
"What?" Alexis asked surprised, "Who usually teaches that class?"
"The heads of house take it in turn," he told her smirking.
"Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?" she accused.
"Because this year it would have been my turn," Snape sniggered again, "and I felt you would do a much better job than any of the others." He shook his head, "Minerva gives such a technical lecture that most of the children leave without a clue as to what sex is about but a very good vocabulary of the Latin names for the anatomy involved. Flitwick's lecture is couched in such ambiguous terms that the students don't even realize that they have had a sex education class. And finally Pomona's lesson involves stamens and pistols and the poor kids feel like it has been just another Herbology lesson."
"And how do your lectures go?" Alexis asked archly.
"They are technically correct," Snape replied stiffly.
Alexis grinned at him, "You give them a book to read."
Snape humphed and refused to answer.
As they entered their quarters Slinky came out of the nursery fussing at Star who was fluttering in his hands, "Missus Snape's dragon lizard not supposed to be in the babies' cribs. Missus not like that at all, you stay in here," as Star hissed at the house elf, Slinky replied, "And none of that bad language. Slinky not let you teach young masters such words." The not-so-tiny reptile hung its head. "Slinky will let you sit on the crib rail when he changes the young masters next time," Star's head lifted at the promise of that treat.
"Slinky, how are the boys?" Snape asked.
"Master Snape, sir, the young masters are good. Young masters slept the whole time sir and missus was gone," Slinky bowed to Snape and released Star. Alexis petted the dragon lizard that settled on her shoulder.
"Thank you, Slinky. Professor Dumbledore has agreed that you will be assigned to our quarters exclusively from now on to help care for the boys now that classes are due to start," Snape informed him.
Slinky bowed again, "Slinky is happy to care for the young masters."
"That is all for now," Snape dismissed the elf and Slinky disappeared with a pop.
"So, what book did you use?" Alexis asked.
Snape went over to a bookshelf and pulled out a thin book and handed it to Alexis. She looked from the book to Snape and then back to the book. Turning it over she looked at the picture of the author on the back and then again looked at Snape, "Please tell me that you did not use a Gilderoy Lockhart book to teach sex education?"
"What? It is a good book," Snape defended his choice.
"So You Want To Know About Sex: A Complete Guide to Sexual Intercourse By the Five Time Winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award," Alexis read the title of the book aloud. "Have you even read the book?"
"Why would I need to read the book? I know all about sex," Snape declared before heading into the nursery to check on the twins.
"That he most certainly does," Alexis murmured under her breath as she began flipping through the pages of the book. Alexis was wondering if she would trick… no, talk… Amber into helping her with the class or at least the curriculum. After all, Amber as a trained healer, should know all about this stuff.
Later that afternoon Alexis had returned from a meeting with Dumbledore. She had tried to warn him about Moody, but he had refused to let her say anything. His theory was that to try to change the future could only result in something worse happening, if you could even in fact change it.
Alexis was pacing back and forth muttering to herself, "Irritating old coot,"
"You really shouldn't talk about your husband that way," Amber teased. "After all, he isn't all that old," she said as Snape walked in.
Snape shot her a bored look before asking Alexis, "I take it your meeting with Albus was unproductive."
"It depends on what you mean by productive," Alexis fumed. "He carefully listened to all my arguments, told me no and then put a charm on me so that I couldn't tell anyone even if I wanted to."
Amber looked between the two, "Do I even want to know what you are talking about?"
Alexis opened her mouth but nothing would come out. Snape replied, "It is school business that we are not at liberty to discuss."
"I'm sorry, Amber, I shouldn't have even mentioned it in front of you," Alexis apologized.
"No problem. Now Severus said you wanted my help with something?" Amber replied with a grin.
Snape snorted as he went to see his sons. Alexis gave him a warning look, "Yes, friend, pal, confidante..." she was interrupted as Remus came in.
"Partner in crime," he added as he went over and hugged Amber from behind, resting his hands on her stomach, "How is my baby today?"
Amber reached back and kissed his cheek, "I'm fine."
"That's good, but I was talking to my other baby," Remus nuzzled her neck.
Alexis asked, "If I could continue since I was so rudely interrupted?"
"What are you two plotting now?" Remus asked suspiciously as Snape came out of the nursery carrying the twins. Remus went over and took Nathair from Snape.
Snape smirked, "Alexis has to teach the first years sex education."
Remus laughed, "Do you remember our sex education class?" he asked Snape.
Snape shuddered, "I've been trying to forget it."
Amber and Alexis looked at them expectantly. "No, absolutely not, I refuse to discuss that class," Snape sneered.
Remus laughed harder, "I forgot about that," he had a mischievous look in his eyes.
"Not another word, Lupin, or this child will be the first and last that you will ever father," Snape threatened.
Remus just shook his head at the two witches, "Amber, would you really want me to risk our future progeny?"
"It depends on how funny the story is," Alexis answered for her; Amber slapped her arm in protest.
"Hey, you might not care about Remus' ability to function, but I do." She whispered in an aside, "Plus I can weasel it out of him later when we are alone."
"I heard that," Snape snarled.
"Don't worry, Severus," Remus said, "I won't break. No matter what pressure she might bring to bear."
"I never knew you were such a drama queen, Lupin," Snape sneered.
"If you are going to be insulting…" Remus said indignantly.
"Now boys, play nice," Alexis snickered with a wink at Amber that silently conveyed that whatever one was able to learn, she would tell the other.
Amber nodded her understanding, "Now what did you want to ask me, Alexis?"
Alexis had to think for a moment because the conversation had gotten so off track, "I need help with the sex ed class I have to teach."
Remus came up and bumped her on the arm, "Does wittle Alexis need Amber to give her The Talk? I would think that considering whom I am holding, you would already know where babies come from."
Alexis ignored him, "Well, what do you think?"
Amber looked at her cautiously, "Exactly what type of help do you need from me?"
"Oh just with the course material," Alexis said casually, "after all you are a trained healer."
"So all you want is for me to help you set up the lecture material?" Amber was smart enough to get everything spelled out before making any type of commitment.
"Yes," Alexis said truthfully, and then added in a rush, "and for you to come in and help me give the lecture."
Amber looked at her as if she had grown another head, "You want me to help you teach the class?"
"Yes," Alexis said pleadingly.
"What's in it for me?"
"My undying love, gratitude and friendship?" Alexis offered.
"I already have all of that," Amber replied. "What else do you have?"
"The warm glow of knowing you did a wonderful favor for your bestest friend?"
Amber thought about that for a moment, "Nope, what else?"
"I'll really owe you big?" Alexis finally offered.
"That is kind of ambiguous. How about you owe me one really big favor and three little ones?" Amber bargained.
Alexis gave her a considering look before finally holding out her hand, "Deal."
Amber shook the proffered hand, "Okay, let's get started then. Boys, why don't you order us some dinner?" this last to Snape and Remus.
Remus looked at Snape, "Do you find it strange that someone who is younger than we are refers to us as boys?"
Snape just glared at him as he went to the hearth and called for Slinky.
After dinner Alexis and Amber settled down with Snape's Lockhart book and a supply of parchment and quills.
"We need to discuss the basic mechanics, responsibility and protection," Alexis wrote down as Amber nodded flipping the pages.
Amber stopped at one and started laughing. "What?" Alexis tried to take the book from her but Amber held it out of reach.
"Listen to this: 'A man's maleness will swell and engorge if properly stimulated. Once it has reached full size, on average four to five inches,'" Amber stopped reading. "Four to five inches?" she looked at Alexis.
Alexis shrugged, "Well it is a book for young boys."
"No it's not," Snape called from where he and Remus were explaining the finer points of Quidditch to the twins who were sleepily staring at the two men.
"Don't you think they are a little young for all of that?" Alexis asked.
"You can never start too early instilling a proper appreciation of this sport," Remus replied pompously.
Alexis and Amber just rolled their eyes before turning back to the task at hand. "Four or five inches?" Amber repeated shaking her head before continuing to read from the book, "'…it will be ready to be sheathed in the feminine core of his partner.'"
Alexis interrupted, "Did we miss the part about preparing your partner and foreplay?"
Amber flipped through the book, "Nope. Apparently the sight of his four to five inches is supposed to be all that her feminine core needs to be properly prepared for the sheathing."
"Severus Snape, I cannot believe you gave this rot to a bunch of impressionable eleven year old," Alexis said trying not to fall off the couch laughing.
"It came highly recommended," he defended his choice.
"If you follow this book that will be the only thing that comes," Alexis muttered. Amber slapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter.
"I didn't catch that," Snape hissed.
"Because I didn't throw it hard enough," Alexis blew him a kiss before turning back to Amber. "I think we should just toss that load of dragon dung and start with the basics."
Amber nodded and dropped the book causing Lockhart's picture on the back to shake an outraged fist at the two women. Ignoring the photo, Amber asked, "What exactly are the basics?"
"You know, anatomy, the woman's reproductive cycle, sperm, egg. Those basics," Alexis replied.
Amber picked up her quill and pretended to write, "Anatomy: Tallywhacker, bits, manroot, maleness…" Alexis shoved her, laughing.
"I think we can be a tad more scientific about it," Alexis scolded. "The correct healer terms would be more appropriate."
"Those are the correct healer terms," Amber said indignantly. "You don't believe me, you just come by sometime during Quidditch season. You would think all those professional players would remember to use a preventive potion so they wouldn't get jock itch." Amber shook her head at the vagaries of professional sports figures, "I can better understand the beaters not remembering, one too many bludgers to the head, but the seekers and chasers," she trailed off as she noticed Alexis' look of stunned amusement. "But I digress. I have an old anatomy text I'll bring by and we can use it for that portion of the lecture."
Alexis nodded, "That should take care of the anatomy and the egg, sperm details. Then we would do the responsibility speech and then, in line with that, contraceptives. Do you think we should work with Professor Engvall?" At Amber's questioning look, "The Muggle studies professor. We could incorporate Muggle contraceptives as well."
The ladies turned at Snape's snort. "What now?" Alexis asked him impatiently.
"Wilhelmina Engvall should be wearing a sign around her neck saying 'I'm Stupid,'" Snape hissed. "That way people wouldn't expect anything from her."
Alexis looked at Remus who was nodding in agreement, "Remus Lupin, I never would have thought you would be agreeing with such a mean remark."
Remus didn't even look embarrassed, "Have you had many dealings with her?" when Alexis shook her head in denial, Remus continued. "Severus isn't being mean, he is being truthful. The light in that woman's eyes is the sun shining through the hole in the back of her head. If you spend more that five minutes with her your I.Q. starts to drop."
Exchanging a look, Alexis scratched Muggle contraceptives off the list. Walking over to the bookshelf, Alexis pulled a potions book and a charms book off of the shelf and returned to sit next to Amber on the couch handing her the potions book before opening the charms book, "Here's one, 'The Shooting Blanks charm.'"
"Give me that," Amber grabbed the book. "That is 'The Temporary Vasectomy Charm,'" she said disgustedly as she handed Alexis the book back.
"Yeah, if you do that charm you are shooting blanks," Alexis grinned.
Amber tilted her head to one side considering, "I never thought of it that way. Severus, do you ever teach the Conceivetacus potion?" Amber asked.
Snape looked up, "Never."
"Why not, it looks like a fairly simple potion to prepare?" Amber was confused.
"Yes, the Conceive----tacus potion is," Snape stressed. "You use it to help conceive children. I think you want the Contraceptivius potion which prevents conceiving."
"Yes, a very important distinction," Amber flushed. "I specialize in magical bites not pregnancy and fertility," she said defensively.
Alexis asked Amber, "Have you ever used the Condomonius Charm?"
Remus replied, "Most men don't like to use that one." As they glared at him, "Well, they don't. It doesn't feel the same and it decreases sensitivity."
Amber looked up from the potions book, "Here's a 'Mortem Sperma Potion.'"
"What does it do?" Alexis asked as she wrote it down on the parchment.
"It kills the sperm," Amber replied, "so that it cannot fertilize the egg."
Both Remus and Snape winced at that and shifted in their chairs.
"What about this one? It is a 'Diaphramus Charm.' It works sort of like the Condomonius Charm, but inside the woman instead of outside the man. It has to be renewed every six hours though," Alexis read.
"That's not so bad," Amber said, "write it down. Now, how detailed are we going to get?"
"What do you mean?" Alexis looked up from her notes.
"Are we going to teach them about marital aid charms?"
"Since none of them are married at eleven, I don't think we would need to do that," Alexis said.
Amber gave her a look, "That is just what they are called. You don't have to be married to utilize them."
Alexis gave her a blank look.
"You know, they are also for single girls, a Macc," Amber hissed trying to make sure Remus and Snape weren't listening.
"A Mack? What on earth are you talking about?" Alexis was totally confused now.
"Not Mack, M-A-C-C: Magically Activated Climax Charm," Amber whispered.
"Ohhh," the light bulb went off, "Muggles call them Bobs," at Amber's questioning look, "Battery Operated Boyfriend," Alexis elaborated.
"What's a battery?"
It was the first day of classes and the rumor mill was already in full swing. Fred and George came hurrying into the Great Hall at lunchtime and sat down next to Harry and Ron, "Did you hear?"
"Hear what?" Ron asked around a mouthful of food. Hermione, who was sitting across from him, averted her eyes from the disgusting sight.
"Alexis is going to be teaching sex ed this year," Fred responded.
Lee Jordan settled down across from them, "I heard that a friend of hers is going to be helping her teach the class."
"I wonder if it is going to be the friend that we escorted from the gate to the castle last year?" George grinned at Fred.
"She was hot," Fred agreed. "I wonder if we can sign up for remedial sex ed?"
"What do you mean remedial sex ed?" Harry asked, "When do you take that class?"
"First year," Lee replied.
"First year," Harry was indignant. "I didn't take a sex ed class first year. I would have remembered that."
"Yes you did," Hermione told him.
"When?" Harry and Ron asked in unison.
"It was the week after flying lessons started. The girls had theirs the week before the flying lessons and the boys the week after. Professor Sprout taught it," Hermione sighed.
"That was sex ed?" Harry exclaimed, "I thought we were just having a special Herbology class."
By dinnertime, everyone knew that Alexis Snape was teaching the first years' sex education class. The only ones not truly interested in the matter were the first years.
Dumbledore stood up at the start of dinner and made the following announcement, "I have been approached by a delegation of students representing all four houses with the request that a course be offered to second years and above in Health Studies. It would be a refresher course and an expansion on the course taught to first years. After careful consideration I have decided to allow this course. I had requested Madame Pomfrey and Professor Flitwick," a couple of "No's!" were quickly stifled by students, "teach the course; however, they declined the honor of this position. So, I have decided that as Madame Snape is handling the course for the first years, she can expand her material and also teach the new course. Sign up sheets will be available in each common room. Class times and dates will be provided to those who sign up. Now, on with our supper," Dumbledore sat down to thunderous applause.
Fred and George Weasley were raising their fists in victory. They had led the move to get the new course added for this year. Ron looked up at the head table, "Snape doesn't look too happy about this."
"Alexis won't mind," Fred assured his brother.
"It's not Alexis I'm talking about," Ron said. "Snape is so mad he is shaking."
Everyone in the vicinity turned to stare at the head table. Ron was right. Snape face was its usual frozen mask of derision, but as he lifted his goblet to take a drink, they could see a slight tremor, only visible because of the movement of the contents in the glass. What would be barely noticeable in anyone else was a glaring and frightening display of temper for Snape.
"What can he do?" George shrugged. "Dumbledore has already announced the class and who is teaching it."
They had been so focused on Snape that no one had noticed Alexis enter the Great Hall until she leaned down to tell them, "What can he do, Forge? He can be the teacher's assistant for the class. Have a pleasant evening," she smirked as she strolled up to the head table, leaving behind a group of stunned faces.
As soon as decorum would allow, Snape excused himself from the table. Making his way stiffly from the hall, it was apparent that he was exercising a firm control not to reveal how he truly felt about his wife teaching the new class.
"You don't think he knows which students asked Dumbledore for the class, do you?" Neville Longbottom asked nervously.
Alexis was in the bedroom when she heard Snape come in. She rushed out at the horrible choking sound that seemed to be coming from the other room, afraid that maybe he had been attacked in the hallways. Nothing good could come from such sounds being made. She looked around desperately for her husband and finally found him collapsed on the couch, bent double and holding his sides as if he were in great pain.
"Severus, hold on, I am coming. We'll get you to Poppy and she will be able to…" Alexis abruptly stopped talking as Snape sat up. He wasn't in pain. He was laughing his ass off.
Alexis stamped her foot in a childish display of temper, "Severus Snape, if you ever scare me like that again, I'll… I don't know what I'll do but I know you won't like it."
Snape had regained control of himself enough to sit up straight and resume his more normal sneer, "If what Albus told me is correct, you will be teaching sex ed to all of the male students of Hogwarts," he had controlled the laughter and was now just snickering at her.
"You knew about this?" Alexis asked him incensed.
"Yes," he smirked.
Alexis flopped down beside him, "There is no way I am going to be able to talk Amber into teaching all those classes with me," she watched Snape out of the corner of her eye, "I guess I'll just have to be alone, the only female in a room full of hormonal males teaching them all about sex," Alexis sighed.
Snape's smirk was history as he gave her a glare, "I don't think so. If Amber cannot assist you, then the class will have to be cancelled."
"Either that or you can assist me in teaching it," Alexis smiled with saccharine sweetness.
Snape's look should have frozen her to the spot. However, Alexis was made of sterner stuff and just returned his glare with a small smirk.
Snape replied icily, "I will owl Amber tonight and explain the particulars to her. I can almost assure her cooperation."
"Snape, what do you have planned?" Alexis asked suspiciously.
"Just know that I will not be assisting you with that class," Snape smirked.
"Nothing too wicked," Alexis admonished, "after all she is our friend and the godmother of one of our sons."
Snape's smirk did little to reassure Alexis.
Alexis had been surprised when Amber showed up to help her get ready for the new class. When asked what Snape had used to get her to agree to it, she had smiled and said, "Chocolate flavored pre-natal potion and a flavorless anti-morning sickness potion."
Alexis had made a mental note to get Snape for that one. He had told her that he couldn't make it chocolate flavored.
Alexis and Amber stared in disbelief at the sign up sheets. It seemed Snape had been correct and every boy in every house from third year on up had signed up for the class. Only a few second years had signed up, it seemed that they were still trying to recover from the class they had taken last year and had no desire to repeat the experience. No amount of persuasion on the parts of the older students could convince them that Alexis' class had to be very different. You could tell that someone had mentioned sex ed in front of a second year by their pale, clammy complexion and the haunted look in their eyes.
"Hey, do you see this here?" Amber asked Alexis.
Alexis looked over her shoulder as Amber began shuffling the sign up sheets pointing to names that were on all four of the house lists. "What were Fred and George thinking to sign up four times for the class? And who did they get to sign them up in Slytherin?" Amber said impressed in spite of herself.
"If you subtract George and Fred six times, we have about one hundred and thirty names here," Amber threw her hands in the air.
"Have the classes on Saturdays," Snape offered from where he was going over his class schedules, "that will weed out some of the miscreants."
"Great idea, Severus, have the classes on Saturdays, that will weed out the miscreants," Alexis said sarcastically later that week. "Now we have one hundred and sixty-nine students signed up." Looking over the revised sign up sheets, "It looks like the majority of the new students are females. We should be able to just have one ladies class," Alexis rubbed her forehead trying to remember what she might have done in her former life to have produced such bad karma.
There was that one time she had taught her four year old cousin the one hundred bottles of beer on the wall song right before his parents took him on a two day car trip. Or there was the time she had convinced her best friend's little sister that cauliflower was really rat brains: but, she had been punished by having to clean up after Susie had gotten sick all over the dining room table. It couldn't have been the time she put kool-aid in the showerheads of the girl's locker room at school right before the cheerleaders finished their dance practice. The only thing she could think of that she might have done when she was still Alicia, that would generate enough bad karma that she was having to teach sex ed to teen boys was helping put skunk stink in the heating vents of her best friend's ex-husband's house, and saturating his air filter with it. Unless, it was smearing tuna fish on the back of the drawer where his girlfriend kept her underwear; but, that was justice, not just revenge and it really didn't matter because she was stuck teaching the class anyway.
"What's this about more students signing up for the class?" Amber asked as she came into the room.
"Most of them are girls, so I think we can just add one class for all the girls and teach them at the same time," Alexis sighed.
Amber got a wicked grin on her face, "You know, the guys have escaped from all of this remarkably unscathed."
"Hmmm, now that you mention it, Severus was supposed to be teaching the first years this term. What do you have in mind?" Alexis asked.
"How about we tell our guys we want to run the older students' lessons by them?" Amber
asked.
"That actually doesn't sound like a bad idea," Alexis was tired and had been worried about the class, so she should be forgiven for being a little slow on the uptake.
"Yes, but the lessons we give them won't be suitable for student consumption," Amber leered.
"OH!" Alexis replied as the light bulb went off.
Dumbledore had assigned Alexis her own office. Snape had insisted that it be near his and the castle had obliged by putting her office one floor up and directly above his. After Snape had expressed his displeasure with this arrangement, a stairway was added connecting the two offices.
Alexis had managed to avoid Moody for the entire first week of school. Her luck ran out though when he showed up in her office one afternoon.
"Alexis Draluck, youngest Auror to be accepted into Auror training, receiver of numerous citations for bravery, and nominated for the Star of Circe. I cannot believe that you willingly married Severus Snape. What were you thinking?" Moody berated her, leaning over her desk to where she was sitting.
Alexis leveled a cold look in his direction, "Thank you for the history lesson, Professor Moody, however, I was under the impression that you taught Defense."
"Surely, you remember being an Auror and us working together?" Moody shouted.
"Two things: one, I don't remember much of anything prior to waking in the hospital last year," Alexis replied with a snarl, standing up to better glare at him. "And second, don't call me Shirley."
Moody looked completely dumbfounded, "I didn't call you Shirley."
"Since you found your way here, I believe you can also find your way out," Alexis said pointedly.
"I don't know what type of spell that snake has you under, but this isn't finished. Not by a long shot. I'm keeping my eye on you and Snape. Dumbledore may trust him, but I don't." Moody turned and clumped out of the room.
Snape came in just in time to hear the last bit of conversation. Alexis looked up at him and became concerned, he was even paler than usual, "Severus, what is wrong?"
"Alexis, I just came from an appointment with Madame Pomfrey and she recommended that we abstain while Moo… I mean, until I am completely healed," Snape told her with a straight face.
"Healed from what?" Alexis asked running careful hands over him trying to find out where he was hurt.
Snape bit back a groan as her hands skimmed the front of his trousers, and then had to close his eyes because she had stopped with her hands brushing his fly, "Severus, what did you do to Sergeant Slytherin Snake?" There was very real concern in her eyes.
Snape saw a way out, "Just a muscle pull."
"Oh you poor baby," Alexis said her hands fluttering nervously above what she thought was the injured area, "What can I do for you?"
Only the thought that Moody might possibly even now be observing them made Snape say, "Just a few months of rest and abstaining should put everything right."
Alexis took a step back, "A few months for a pulled muscle? Severus is there something you are not telling me? Are you seriously injured in some way and don't want to worry me? Is there another woman!"
Snape watched as Alexis managed to wind herself up. It was actually a fascinating process. However, when she started demanding the names of the women he was going to replace her with and threatening to move in with Minerva and take the boys with her, enough was enough, "Alexis Draluck Snape, stop," his quietly spoken command had her biting her lip in consternation.
"Severus, just tell me what is bothering you," Alexis settled into her chair behind her desk.
Snape pulled her up, took her seat, and then pulled her back into his lap, "Muscle pull?" she asked with a smirk.
Snape ignored that, "How much do you know about Moody and what his magic eye can do?"
Alexis found that she couldn't say anything. The charm Dumbledore had put on her kept her from responding.
Snape didn't seem to notice, "His eye can see through almost anything, even into our quarters."
Alexis looked at him indignantly, "So you are going to cut me off because you are afraid he is going to get his jollies by watching us?"
"I don't believe I would have put it that way," Snape replied. Alexis made a move to get off of his lap, "Where do you think you are going?"
"I'm going to take care of this problem right now," she replied wiggling in a most distracting manner.
"What are you going to do?" Snape replied trying to hold her still.
"I'm going to tell him that if even thinks about invading our privacy I'll invade him and," she made descriptive gestures with her hands that caused Snape to wince.
"If you tell him not to look that is only going to convince him that there is something to look for," Snape reasoned.
"Then you will put up wards to keep him from looking," Alexis nestled back into his arms.
Snape preened a bit at her confidence in his abilities. He decided to talk to Dumbledore about the wards, not wanting to admit to Alexis that he didn't know any strong enough to keep Moody out.
AN: "and don't call me Shirley" from the movie Airplane and "the light in her eyes" line in one of David Eddings books (too lazy to look up which one)