Picking up where we left off, the campers were getting set in their rooms.
ZEBRAS - ROOM #1 (GIRLS)
The girls put their stuff on their beds. "Group selfie!" called Kitty. Emma rolled her eyes as the other girls smiled and posed for the picture.
ZEBRAS - ROOM #2 (GIRLS)
In one corner...
"Why should you get the top bunk?! I'm prettier!" shouted Dakota.
"At least I'm popular!" Heather shouted back.
In another corner…
"Ew, that swimsuit is so ratchet!" said Stephanie.
"Hey, this swimsuit was a designer swimsuit I bought with my own money!" Taylor said back. "Maybe if you had enough money to buy something better than yours…" Stephanie gritted her teeth.
In another corner…
Anne Maria is spraying her hair...again.
"*cough* Do you have to spray it in here?!" fired Dakota. Anne Maria stopped to look at her, then glared as she resumed spraying her hair.
In the final corner…
Courtney just facepalmed at the dysfunctional relationships on her team. Spud however, appeared to be enjoying the various catfights taking place.
CONFESSIONAL: *insert sexy cat meow here*
Spud was sitting. "So I'm sharing a room with six hot chicks, and there's already three catfights. This is gonna be AWESOME!"
*STATIC*
ZEBRAS - ROOM #3 (GIRLS)
Josee went to put her stuff on one of the top bunks when…
"Sorry ma'am, this bunk is taken!" Josee looked to see MacArthur already sitting on the bunk she tried to claim.
"I deserve this bunk! It being on top reminds me of always coming out on top!"
"Except for the Ridonculous Race, when you came in third, and that one time Jacques dropped you on your head…"
"Don't. Remind me," the Ice Dancer growled.
"If you're that concerned about having a top bunk, there's plenty of others to choose from." The camera pans around the room to show all the available bunks.
"But then I won't be the first to have a top bunk!"
"What are you implying?" the chubby Police Cadet demanded, getting annoyed.
Josee looked around the room, then back at her. The next thing MacArthur knew, she was sharing a bed with Josee. "Aw, seriously?!"
ZEBRAS - ROOM #4 (GIRLS)
The two nerds are seen slowly taking off their glasses, wink at the camera, and right as the two start to strip down, the scene cuts to…
ZEBRAS - ROOM #5 (GIRLS)
Sugar sat on her bed, glaring daggers at Staci, who was rambling about how her great great great great great great great great uncle Pedro invented swimsuits, and before that people swam in their suits (as in, you know…).
The "pageant queen" stood up. "I've had enough of your pageant talk! Nobody but me rambles on about how pretty they are!" Staci looked at her confused.
ZEBRAS - ROOM #1 (BOYS)
Ernesto stood in the center of the room. "OK gentlemen, it's our first challenge, we will knock it out of the park! On the count of three Zebras, one two three…"
"ZEBRAS!" The five then started to pull out their bathing suits. Dwayne nudged Junior. "That could be you one day, son." Junior rolled his eyes.
ZEBRAS - ROOM #2 (BOYS)
Brick, Tyler, Lightning, and Jacques had all claimed the top beds of their respective bunks.
"This team rocks! I've got a good feeling about today's challenge!" said Tyler.
"That's because Lightning is on this team! Sha-bam!" the football player said.
Jacques looked down, away from his teammates.
CONFESSIONAL: Another reason gold is better than silver: many words rhyme with gold, but nothing rhymes with silver.
Jacques sighed. "I've always been together with Josee to keep her in line. I'm the reason she doesn't throw way more temper tantrums than you saw in the Ridonculous Race." He sighs again. "I hope this no co-ed rule doesn't make Josee go too off the chain without me."
*STATIC*
ZEBRAS - ROOM #3 (BOYS)
Chet and Lorenzo had just finished singing their theme song, prompting an impressed Beardo to applaud them while imitating the sound of a cheering crowd. This got the stepbrothers' attention.
"Woah, did you do that yourself?" asked Chet.
The human noisemaker proceeded to make a "ding" noise while nodding.
"Aw, sweet dude!" said Lorenzo. He then hi-fived his two roommates. "YEAH!" said the stepbrothers.
ZEBRAS - ROOM #4 (BOYS)
Scott looked at his roommates. To his left, he saw Cody brief Trent on all the drama Gwen had to go through when he wasn't competing. To his right, he saw Geoff tell Brody more about Bridgette. He looked down and sighed.
"Something wrong, Scott?" JD walked up to the farmboy.
"Uh yeah, I...kind of need a girlfriend," was his answer.
"Hmm, well with all the drama that's been flying around, I wouldn't be surprised if you got one eventually. Besides, I saw you talking to Dawn earlier."
"I uh...yeah! I'll get back to you on that!"
CONFESSIONAL: JD Power and Associates called; they want their name back!
"*sigh* So maybe I feel a little bad about getting Dawn eliminated. I mean, she is kinda hot." Scott stops. "What? It's not like she'll see it." Then he realized. "OH NO NO NO—"
*STATIC*
ZEBRAS - ROOM #5 (BOYS)
Between Leonard looking at his book of spells, Sam playing a game on his GameBoy [1], and Rodney sitting there daydreaming about the female campers, there wasn't really anyone Jay could talk to.
CONFESSIONAL: What do the words "pretty," "Peter," and "putty" have in common? [2]
"Looks like getting to know these people will be even harder than I thought," sighed Jay.
OUTSIDE
Shawn had climbed up a tree behind the Zebra boys' cabin. He looked around, then jumped down to go to the communal washrooms to change.
RHINOCERI - ROOM #1 (GIRLS)
The girls put their stuff on their beds. "One good thing about my sister not letting me sign up first: I don't have to room with her," said Sammy.
"Good thinking, mate!" said Jasmine.
On the opposite side of the room…
"You look really nice," Crimson told Gwen with her usual level of emotion.
"Thanks," replied Gwen, choosing to match her new goth friend's level of emotion.
And in the middle of the room…
"I don't know, I kind of didn't want to come back here," said Zoey, who was talking to Leshawna.
"Girl, I hear ya," said Leshawna. "I enjoyed all that time off after season three."
RHINOCERI - ROOM #2 (GIRLS)
"Eeee, it's so good to be back her again!" said Sadie.
"I know, right? We haven't been here since like the first season!" said Katie.
"Eeeeee!" they squealed.
Elsewhere, Abby and Lindsay are talking to a slightly displeased Sierra.
"I'm sorry you didn't get put on the same team as Cody," said Abby reassuringly.
"Didn't you use to like, know everything about everybody?" asked Lindsay.
This lit a spark inside the purple-haired fangirl.
CONFESSIONAL: When Lindsay actually says something smart.
"That's it! I haven't been able to use my knowledge of the cast!" She then glared at the camera. "All-Stars writers, if you're watching this, you suck!
*STATIC*
The scene cuts to an overweight white-haired older woman wearing a red shirt rewatching the Iowa caucus.
The scene then cuts to an auburn-haired man wearing a dark gray jacket rewatching 6teen.
The scene now shows a blonde-haired woman wearing a white shirt hanging up her 43rd Jo poster in her room.
The scene finally shows a dirty blonde-haired man wearing an open yellow button-up shirt with a blue one underneath, lying on the ground, on top of a pool of blood. A handgun is lying next to him. [3]
RETURN
Dara starts to pull out her swimwear when Izzy suddenly appears on camera, startling her.
"Alright yeah! Make way for the champ!" She then began removing her clothes, showing Dara looking uncomfortable, but at the same time trying to hide a smile.
In under ten seconds, Izzy was already in her swimsuit. "Now you try!" she told the new girl. Dara starts to lift her shirt—
RHINOCERI - ROOM #3 (GIRLS)
Sky sat on top of her bed and sighed. It did not go unnoticed.
"Something wrong, miss?" asked Sanders.
"I uh...kind of...have a crush on Dave, but I get the feeling he's still mad at me for dating Keith. You know, the intern?"
Sanders nodded, but was a bit intrigued by this. Eva, who saw this whole exchange, groaned to herself.
CONFESSIONAL: Don't feed the bears, but you're more than welcome to feed me!
"I know it's partly because I haven't competed since season one, but I don't have time to deal with all this talk about love. I'm here to win."
RHINOCERI - ROOM #4 (GIRLS)
Ella started to bond with the vegans, while Veronica was talking to Kelly about wanting to find a boyfriend this season. Ellody sat by herself, a little uncomfortable.
CONFESSIONAL: Want an easy way to delete someone's files without deleting system32? Play "loselose!" [4]
"I am hypothesizing a bad feeling about Mary. She hasn't spoken to me since the race, and she roomed with Scarlett, of all people."
RHINOCERI - ROOM #5 (GIRLS)
"Are you kidding me? My own sister won't room with me?" the older twin asked.
"You were kind of a bitch to her." said Blaineley.
The twin growled. Blaineley just shrugged.
CONFESSIONAL: Silent and listen are spelled with the same letters!
"What can I say? They don't call this show 'Total Drama' for nothing!" she shrugged.
RHINOCERI - ROOM #1 (BOYS)
"I gotta say, I actually looked forward to being back here," said Mike. "I get to compete without my personalities."
"Dissociative Identity Disorder, AKA Multiple Personality Disorder, can not be cured with the push of a button," said Chad.
"This show's logic is flawed after all," said Cameron. B nodded in agreement. Duncan smirked at this conversation, which a nervous Harold notices and gulps.
RHINOCERI - ROOM #2 (BOYS)
"Woohoo! We're on the same team again!" said Owen who proceeded to bear hug Noah again.
"If I win, remind me to spend my money on a personal chiropractor," said Noah.
For everyone else, it was pretty uneventful.
RHINOCERI - ROOM #3 (BOYS)
"Man it's been so long since I've been here," said Justin.
"Is it because you're old news?" asked Topher. Justin gritted his teeth. Ryan, seeing where this was going, sighed. He did not want to share a room with two self-absorbed people who tried to identify themselves as similar to him.
RHINOCERI - ROOM #4 (BOYS)
Dave sat on his bed and sighed, which his now human again roommate noticed.
"Something wrong, eh?"
"It's Sky," replied Dave. "She dated Keith, the fat intern. I heard they broke up, but still."
"It's OK, eh. You just need to talk to her, eh? She probably still likes you."
Dave thought about that. "Sure, I'll find a time for that," he said.
CONFESSIONAL: Plug me into a charger. No, not like that, you sick *censored*!
"Who knew Homeschool was actually useful?" said Dave.
RHINOCERI - ROOM #5 (BOYS)
"Boys? We're in our 60's!" said Gerry.
Well, excuse me.
"Naughty kids these days; underestimating our ages. Literally!" said Pete. Both tennis rivals started laughing.
TOP OF THE CLIFF
The campers stood at the aforementioned location in their swimsuits.
"Welcome campers, to your first challenge!" said Chris. "Those of you who competed in TDI should remember this one, but this was the series' first ever challenge!"
"The rules are simple: jump into the shark-infested waters below, and each person that jumps into the safe zone gets a point." said Don.
"However, there is a twist," Chris announced. "This time, you don't get a point for landing outside the safe zone, and putting on a chicken hat will subtract a point!"
"Whichever team has the most points wins today's challenge," concluded Don. "Zesty Zebras, you're up first!"
"Failure is not an option gentlemen, let's move!" said Brick, who jumped right away. Unfortunately, he landed crotch-first into a buoy, and then he fell backwards, away from the safe zone.
"Bro, you gotta do it like this!" said Tyler. He proceeded to do a bellyflop onto the same buoy, also missing the safe zone.
"Make way for the Lightning!" Lightning ran, jumped, and landed head-first into the same buoy, also falling outside the safe zone.
"Good grief, is it that hard to land in the safe zone and not hurt yourself?" demanded Jo. She then jumped, and she landed in the safe zone, scoring the Zebras' first point.
"That should have been me scoring our team's first point!" exclaimed Josee.
"You can be the first to wear a chicken hat," offered Chris. The female ice dancer's eye twitched a bit. Out of options, she jumped into the safe zone.
"Let's go, Zebras!" shouted Ernesto with lots of enthusiasm. He jumps into the safe zone.
"I suppose it's my turn now," said Jacques. He jumps, but misses the safe zone. As he rose, he heard Josee scream in rage, making him uncomfortable.
CONFESSIONAL: Don't judge a book based on its cover. Unless you give it a perfect 10!
"UGH! We can't win if my partner's so clumsy!" exclaimed Josee.
*STATIC*
"I am not jumping," said Heather.
"I second that," said Anne Maria.
"Third," said Dakota.
"Fourth," said Taylor.
"Oh yes you bitches are!" said Stephanie. From the other team, a horrified Ryan could only watch as his girlfriend throws four teenage girls into the safe zone in a way similar to Donkey Kong with barrels. Stephanie herself jumps in afterwards.
MacArthur, JD, Scarlett, Mary, Sam, and Rodney went next, all landing in the safe zone.
Courtney was next. "I still don't think I can do this. Besides, we've got a decent number of points." Chris puts a chicken hat on her head, lowering the score to 13.
Leonard, Tammy, and Sugar had (surprisingly) uneventful jumps into the safe zone, raising the score to 16.
"I guess I'll go next," said Bridgette. She landed in the safe zone.
"Woohoo! Go Bridge!" hollered Geoff. "Alright Brody, let's jump together man!"
"You got it, man!" And with that, both surfer dudes jumped into the safe zone, bringing the total up to 19.
"Come on, son!" said Dwayne, he jumped...and landed smack dab on the boat.
"The boat is not the safe zone Dwayne, so no points!" Chris called out.
"I guess I may as well…" said Junior. He jumps into the safe zone. Trent, Cody, Dawn, and Scott followed.
"Yeah, my great great great great great great aunt Rose invented jumping off cliffs. Before that—"
"Are you gonna jump or not?" Don demanded to know.
"Uh, no. Sorry." The chatterbox took a chicken hat, lowering the score to 23. Chet and Lorenzo jumped into the safe zone, cheering the whole way down, followed by Beardo, who was imitating that high pitched noise that plays when someone falls, and then by Spud, who had his trademark blank face on the whole time. The Zebras now had 27.
"Come on, homie!" said Carrie to Devin. She took his hand, and together they jumped into the safe zone.
"Ummmm…" Emma started to say.
"Come on, sis!" Kitty took her sister's hand and they jumped into the safe zone, with Emma screaming the whole time. Once they resurfaced, Emma sighed and rolled her eyes.
Shawn and Jen jumped into the safe zone next.
"I uh...really don't think this is a good idea," said Jay.
"Yeah, me neither," agreed Beth.
"Come on guys, what if we all jumped together?" said Alejandro.
Beth, easily distracted by Alejandro's charm, and Jay, simply not wanting to let the team down, took his hands, and together, they all jumped into the safe zone.
"That's 36 points for the Zebras!" announced Don. "Rhinoceri, it's your turn!"
Without hesitating, Eva jumped into the safe zone. Sky went after her, doing a perfect swan dive into the safe zone.
CONFESSIONAL: Wanna know what's funnier than 24? [5]
"I still have a crush on Sky. From what I've seen and heard of her so far, she probably returns my feelings," said Dave. "I just hope Keith isn't going to be a problem."
*STATIC*
Dave jumped next, also landing in the safe zone. Chad was next.
"Chris, it would be my pleasure to tell you that your show's logic is flawed."
"Don't care! Are you jumping or not?!"
Chad deadpanned. "No." He took a chicken hat, bringing the score down to two. Or so you think.
"I'll take that!" Duncan snatched it and tossed it down the lake.
"HEY!" the new nerd screamed. But in no less than five seconds, his face slammed into water.
Duncan faced his team. "Alright nerds! Who's jumping?" Scared by what they just witnessed, Mike, Cameron ("Come on, Cam!" - Mike), B (who glared at Duncan), Ellody, and Harold (who averted eye contact) all jumped. In order, he landed flat on his back, he landed on his crotch, he belly-flopped, she choked on water, and he lost his bathing suit. At least they all landed in the safe zone, bringing the score up to nine.
At the top of the cliff, Duncan was being glared down hard. Not like he cared. "Idiots. You've got to do it like this!" He jumped...and his stomach and chest scraped against a buoy. He then started moving his arms and feet around in an attempt to regain his balance, and he ended up falling outside the safe zone. Everyone was laughing hysterically at Duncan's epic failure.
"Why don't you go first, Amy?" said Sammy, holding her arms out towards the cliff.
"Hey, I don't need your permission," said Amy. She jumped, but landed outside the safe zone. As if on cue, a shark appeared and started to close in on her. "Really?! Right when it's my turn?!" Amy got into the boat. "SAMEY! GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE!" she yelled out to her sister. Sammy just shrugged with a smile, and she jumped into the safe zone.
CONFESSIONAL: Can't spell twinning without winning!
Sammy: I'm actually starting to get the hang of this!
*STATIC*
Jasmine jumped into the safe zone, then got into the Rhinoceri's boat. "Nice job with your sister, Samey," she said.
Sammy smiled. "Uh, thanks, but it's Sammy, remember?"
"Oh right, I apologize. I keep forgetting. See, I told you you're the better sister." Sammy giggled, while an angry Amy watched them and groaned.
Back at the top of the cliff, Dara looked a bit uneasy. "Um, I'm not sure if I should do this…"
"EEEE! COME ON, DARA!" an excited Izzy exclaimed, tackling the (not supposed to be literal) pushover to the safe zone below. Noah couldn't help but smile at this. He joined them in the safe zone, until…
"WOOO HOOOO!" Owen created a big splash, catching the three by surprise.
"Fifteen points, Rhinoceri!" announced Don.
Katie and Sadie (who jumped together squeeing), Rock (who did air guitar), Laurie and Miles (who were both meditating), Tom, Crimson and Ennui (both of whom said an emotionless "ahhh"), and Leshawna are all seen jumping, with all of them landing in the safe zone. Max then jumps...and the painful sound of clanging metal resonated to those at the top of the cliff. A buoy got jammed into his mouth. "Mother…" he said weakly. He then fell outside the safe zone.
"Twenty-four points, Rhinoceri!" said Chris.
Sanders, Ezekiel, Pete, Gerry, Kelly, Topher, and Ella all jump into the safe zone. Justin then lands outside the safe zone. The sharks start to close in on him, so he starts to show off his "beauty" like in the first season. This time however, the sharks weren't distracted, and the male model was forced to swim to his team's boat. Ryan then landed outside the safe zone, and tried to do the same thing, only this time, the sharks complied, and they carried him to the Rhinoceri's boat. Justin gasped.
CONFESSIONAL: Oh for cRyan out loud!
A panicked Justin's eyes darted. "Oh no. Am I really being upstaged by other people already?!"
*STATIC*
"I'm sorry guys, but I'm still too scared," said DJ as he took a chicken hat.
"That's a legitimate reason," approved Gwen.
"I'm not ruining my hair and make-up, so…" said Blaineley, as she too took a chicken hat.
"That's not a legitimate reason," disapproved Gwen. She then jumped into the safe zone, giving the Rhinoceri thirty points.
"I guess I'll go next," said Veronica, who slowly started to make her way to the cliff. She jumped into the safe zone. As she resurfaced, she flipped her hair out, making Ernesto notice and blush at.
"Rhinoceri, in order for you to even still have a chance, all five of you need to jump into the safe zone," said Don.
"Uhhh...I don't feel so good...physically, emotionally, or mentally," said Mickey, who started trembling.
"Aw, cheer up Mikey! Oh I know, how about we jump together?" Lindsay offered.
"That's a good idea!" smiled Abby.
"Plus, we will live anyways," said Sierra.
Zoey, Sierra, Lindsay, Abby, and Mickey grabbed each other's hands and jumped into the safe zone together.
"OK, that's 36 points for both teams," said Chris. "Now, that means we will have to go to our tiebreaker: building a hot tub!"
"Uh, about that Chris," said Chef, who was standing behind Chris the whole time, startling him.
"Gah! You mean the crates didn't come?! God—OK, OK. The winning team will be decided by the one with the more amusing injuries. The winning team is.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
the Rambunctious Rhinoceri!" The Rambunctious Rhinoceri cheered, while the Zesty Zebras groaned.
"Zebras, you've got a date with us at the campfire tonight," said Don. The Zebras sulked in their defeat, until…
"My great great great great uncle Bert invented dates and campfires. Before that…"
As Staci continued rambling, her teammates started glaring at her, which she was oblivious to.
CAMPFIRE
"Campers, you lost your first challenge," said Chris. "Not to worry, as the season is very far from done. However, we've gotta make a sacrifice. First things first, if you landed in the safe zone, come grab a marshmallow." Everyone but Dwayne, Jacques, Lightning, Tyler, Brick, Staci, and Courtney grabbed their marshmallows.
"Now, if you jumped, grab a marshmallow." Everyone who hadn't already gotten a marshmallow except Staci and Courtney got a marshmallow.
"Staci. Courtney," said Don. "This, is the final marshmallow. Staci, you kept annoying people with lies about your relatives. Courtney, you tempted fate by saying your team had a good enough lead. The final marshmallow goes to...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
...Courtney." The CIT went to claim her marshmallow. Staci stood up and sighed. "Oh well, I guess I have to take...wait. What do I have to take this season?"
"Well, I'm glad you asked!" said Don. Chef walked over and strapped a firecracker to Staci. He then lit the fuse. In three seconds flat, Staci was blasted into the night sky.
"And that'll do it ladies and gentlemen! One down, 89 to go! Who will be blasted off next? Tune in next time, right here, on TOTAL!" yelled Don.
"DRAMA!" yelled Chris.
"DOMINATION!" both yelled.
[1] Yep, we finally got the right to use the products' real names! BONUS!
[2] They all consist entirely of letters in the top row on the keyboard.
[3] Those are, in order: Alex Ganetakos, Terry McGurrin, Laurie Elliot, and Ed MacDonald, the writers of Total Drama All-Stars. Those are all what they look like, except for Ed (his look was never revealed). Ed did what he did after getting fired from writing episodes halfway through Pahkitew Island.
[4] Look it up, but do NOT play it. You basically shoot "aliens," but the "aliens" in question are actually your files.
[5] No it's not 25! It's 42! It's the meaning of life, the universe, and everything! Plus, it's 24 backwards.
#90: Staci
RAMBUNCTIOUS RHINOCERI:
Sanders
Harold
Cameron
Lindsay
Tom
Veronica
Pete
Ezekiel
Ennui
Crimson
Izzy
Owen
Gerry
Leshawna
Sky
Eva
Mike
Katie
Mickey
Noah
Jasmine
Sammy
Dave
DJ
Rock
Abby
Amy
Duncan
Blaineley
Miles
Ellody
Kelly
Topher
Ella
Zoey
Gwen
Sierra
B
Sadie
Dara
Laurie
Chad
Justin
Max
Ryan
ZESTY ZEBRAS:
Geoff
Ernesto
Chet
Jen
Lightning
Scarlett
Spud
Alejandro
Sam
Jay
Josee
Dawn
Jo
Brick
Devin
Beardo
Cody
Bridgette
Taylor
Brody
Scott
Sugar
MacArthur
Shawn
Tammy
Tyler
Emma
Leonard
Carrie
Dwayne
Trent
JD
Kitty
Mary
Stephanie
Jacques
Beth
Dakota
Lorenzo
Heather
Junior
Rodney
Anne Maria
Courtney
And that wraps up this chapter! I know, this elimination wasn't really a surprise. She had no way to expand on her plot, so she had to go.
Comments and favorites much appreciated! For those of you on , I will be posting this on both and DeviantArt (my username is captainswagswag). Stay tuned for the next chapter!