Chris: Last time on Total Drama Domination...we welcomed back all 84 of our past contestants, while throwing in six new ones to make things more interesting!
Don: We started the season off with the classic cliff-jumping challenge, only there was a twist: not jumping in the safe zone didn't give you points, while not jumping at all took away a point.
Chris: In the end, the teams tied, but the Rambunctious Rhinos won due to them having more painful injuries. Wicked!
Don: And it was chatty Staci, who would not shut up about her "family," who took the Fireworks of Shame first. What more drama will be introduced? What do we have in store for our contestants today? Find out right now, right here, on TOTAL!
"DRAMA!" yelled Chris.
"DOMINATION!" both hosts yell.
*cue intro*
It was 6 AM, and the campers had pretty much gotten a good night sleep. That was all about to change eventually. And by that, I mean now.
"HRRRRRRRRRNK!" Chris blared his favorite airhorn into the PA system, causing all the campers to scream.
"Rise and shine, campers! You know what to do! It is our sixth season after all." The 89 campers groaned, then started making their way to the mess hall.
MESS HALL
"Welcome campers, to your next challenge!" said Chris. "This one is another throwback challenge, and...why don't we go in order? Everyone, you will run twenty kilometers around this camp, just like in season one! Go!"
No one moved. Crickets chirped. A 17-year-old-boy is currently typing this on his phone—oh sorry, got carried away.
"Why don't we bring back some friends?" offered the host we've known longer. At that moment, the Wild Things: the entire Total Drama Dirtbags cast (minus Alejandro obviously), Scuba Bear 4.0, and the Chris robots emerged from the kitchen, scaring the cast off.
CONFESSIONAL: I've read "Where the Wild Things Are," and I don't remember anything about a kitchen…
Scarlett: "I thought those Chris robots were destroyed after those lesser intelligent mortals exposed my...failure. *she shudders*
*STATIC*
Dave sat in a troubled fetal position. "They rebuilt Scuba Bear again?! I nearly lost my life being chased by the last one built!"
*STATIC*
"Let's go Zebras!" said Brick. Unfortunately, he wasn't looking forwards, and he tripped over a stick. Lightning and Tyler then proceeded to trip over him. Jo passed by all three of them with a glare.
CONFESSIONAL: You've got to be joking me!
Jo: My team SUCKS!
*STATIC*
When Jacques caught up to Jo, she turned to look at him. "Aren't you roommates with those three?" The male ice dancer nodded while frowning. "I feel sorry for you," Jo said before running off. Jacques shrugged, but then Josee caught up to him.
"Why are you talking to her and not me?!" the more competitive ice dancer asked her partner.
"It was about how clumsy me three roommates are."
"Oh. Well, why don't you tell me first, next time!" She ran off. Jacques groaned.
CONFESSIONAL: What do the words "miracle" and "claimer" have in common? [1]
Jacques: *sigh* I want to prove I can win without cheating. But if it makes Josee stop complaining about not being first in anything, then I may have to do it.
*STATIC*
"Josee, wait up! The female ice dancer turned to face her partner catching up to her. "Take this!" He hands Josee a bottle of serotonin. "Wait for me to give you a signal!" Josee nodded.
Elsewhere…
Chad is walking with Harold.
"And that's how I set the world's fastest time for a Rubik's cube solve," Harold finished explaining. "I still don't get why the guy with the next fastest time won instead of me, though."
"Have you ever considered the possibility that it was a tournament in which you can only use your feet or one hand, and not both? And besides, the world record is .887 seconds, more than four times your record."
"A robot set that record, idiot! Gosh! Maybe you should've listened to me say that!"
"No, you didn't. I find it quite ironic how you're calling me an idiot when you can't even remember something you said in one and the same conversation."
As the two nerds continued to bicker, they noticed a Millie idol on the side of the path they were on. "What is that?" Harold asked, pointing at the idol.
"Allow me to examine," said Chad. He picked up the idol and looked at it front and back. "It appears to be the Millie idol, modeled after one of our new interns. The user of this idol, aka me, since I picked it up, can use it to change teams."
Harold rolled his eyes. "When are you gonna use it?"
"I'll hold on to it for now. I want to wait for the right opportunity to come before I use it."
CONFESSIONAL: A man's computer is running slowly to the point of barely working. In an attempt to speed up his computer, he deletes one file. Now, his computer won't work at all. What went wrong? [2]
"You know the feeling you get when you meet other people as talented or as smart as you, and they make you feel lamer or dumber?" said Harold. "That's Chad in a nutshell."
*STATIC*
At this point, all 89 campers had made it back to camp, where the staff stayed waiting.
"Whooooo's hungry?" asked Chris. No one dared move. Owen's roommates locked their eyes on him. "OK, bring them in!" The Wild Things started to approach the campers, forcing them to eat the buffet presented in front of them.
AFTER EATING
The campers were all lying down, clutching their stomachs. The staff walked up to them.
"Alright campers, you know what's next," said Chris. The cast groaned.
"Well, can't we just do it here? I mean, we're all tired and already on the ground," said Gwen.
"Nope! And if you don't get your butts to the campfire, I'll release the Wild Things again!" Everyone quickly got off their feet and ran towards the campfire.
CAMPFIRE
"We are twelve hours into our challenge, and still no one has fallen asleep," said Chris.
"Whoo hoo! Stay awake for 12 hours?! I could do that in my sleep!" said Owen. Predictably, he fell asleep. Noah facepalmed and shook his head.
Rhinoceri: 44, Zebras: 44.
Three hours later, Jacques noticed Josee started to bob her head. "Here, take this!" He throws the bottle of serotonin to Josee and signals her to take a pill. Instantly, she regained focus, and she smirked at her partner.
Elsewhere, Scott approached a meditating Dawn, who stopped to see him. "Uh, listen. Can I, uh, talk to you for a second?" he asked.
The moonchild smiled. "Sure!"
"So uh, I'm sorry about last season," said the dirt farmer.
"Oh Scott, you don't have to; I can see it in your aura!" Scott still didn't understand auras, but nevertheless smiled at her forgiveness.
LATER
Twenty-four hours into the challenge, no one else had fallen asleep. An irate trio of hosts stood amongst the campers. "Alright, time to put some people to sleep!" said Chris. "INTERNS!" The five interns appeared. "You! Gay guy! Play them some music!" said Chef, pointing at Jordan. "Yes sir," Jordan said in his nasally-congested voice. [3] He took out a boombox and hit play. Instantly, Nicki Minaj - Beez in the Trap started playing. A large number of campers started groaning.
"God dammit!" said Don. "We're trying to put these kids to sleep—"
"We're not kids!" cried Gerry.
"...not scare them off!" Don finished, not letting the interruption stir him. As he said this, he pointed at the cabins, where Gwen, Crimson and Ennui (both of whom screamed with actual emotion!), Pete, Gerry, and Max were running towards.
"Kids these days and their music!" said Pete. He and Gerry shared a laugh.
"Evil does not listen to such vile music!" cried Max.
Rhinoceri: 38, Zebras: 44
"Change the music!" Don demanded.
"OK boy, calm yo tits!" Don sighed and facepalmed. Chris rolled his eyes. Jordan pressed the next button, and generic piano music began playing. This caused Sanders (much to MacArthur's displeasure), Sierra, Dwayne, Chet, Lorenzo, and Beardo to hit the hay. Dwayne started snoring, much to Junior's chagrin.
"Your dad do that every night?" asked Carrie.
"Heh. Yeah," was the younger teenager's reply. He still hadn't learned to take her eyes off her.
The music gave JD an idea. "Wait, Chris! Can I go to the cabins and get something?"
"You've got one minute," he said without a care in the world. The quirky new guy took off, and eventually returned wearing a black leotard, similar to the one Jordan wears. He was carrying a duffle bag with many flags in it. He grabbed a flag and proceeded to do a bunch of guard moves with it, much to many of the cast's delight.
"Ooh, can I join, boy?" asked Jordan, who came up to him.
"Mm-hm, sure!" he answered politely. The intern grabbed a flag and performed a duet with JD for the rest of the song. Most of the campers started clapping and cheering, even the staff. Unfortunately, there were a couple complaints.
"Ew, that leotard is so gross!" said Jen while gagging.
"Ugh, that looks like something Samey would wear," said Amy. Sammy seethed.
"Not to mention those socks and sandals he's been wearing," said Tom. JD was already seething with rage when…
"Haven't you already figured it out? He's obviously a fag!" said Duncan.
Everyone went dead silent. "Woah woah, that was NOT what we were implying!" said Tom.
"BOY, YOU WANNA SAY THAT SHIT TO MY FACE, BITCH?!" a now postal JD roared into Duncan's face. Duncan just laughed. "Yeah, like that shit is gonna scare me." JD turned towards the viewing audience. "Don't look," he said politely. He then proceeded to—*CENSORED*
A mortified Duncan pulled the flag out of his ass. "God...damn. Should've just kept my big mouth shut."
"Funny, that wasn't the first time you've said that," said a voice. The camera pans to Courtney, the one who just spoke.
"What can I say, Princess? History repeats itself. Say, I bet you remember what happened that night." He wiggled his unibrow suggestively. An angry Courtney proceeded to kick the delinquent in the crotch...again. Everyone started cheering again, while Courtney bowed. Cody hits a button on Sierra's phone. "Just taking notes for her. You should do that some time," he told the camera. He winked.
Rhinoceri: 36, Zebras: 40
"Alright, it's been 36 hours!" complained Chris. "It's story-time!" The cast groaned. Chris proceeds to take out a large book entitled "1001 Dirty Jokes You Should NEVER Say on a Family Show!" The cast groaned even louder. Eva, Jasmine, Bridgette, Cody, and Heather got up and left. Kelly grabbed Taylor. "Come on, sweetie."
"But mom, we're not even on the same team!"
Don leaned over to Chris.
"Dude, what are you doing?! You're gonna get us fired!" he whispered.
"Relax dude, the audience eats this stuff up!" Chris whispered back.
CONFESSIONAL: Go ahead, Chris. Hit me with your best shot.
Junior shrugged. "My dad would never let me hear what I'm about to hear. I guess it couldn't hurt to hear what I've been missing."
*STATIC*
Chris opened the first page. "Hey girl. Would you like your chocolate white, milk, or dark? With or without almonds? King size, regular, fun size, or bite size?" All of the interns but Morgan (who simply crossed her arms and looked disgusted) yelled "UH-UHH!" Many of the campers looked incredibly disgusted. "Dude, that was morbid, even for me," said Noah.
CONFESSIONAL: Dafuq did he just read?
Junior: *blank stare* My dad was right.
*STATIC*
Chris' morbid stories sent everyone running for the cabins except Veronica, Izzy, Mickey, Topher, Ella, and Laurie for the Rhinoceri, and Ernesto, Spud, Jay, Josee, Jo, Brick, Sugar, Tammy, Leonard, Jacques, Rodney, and Anne Maria for the Zebras. Ella, Topher, and Sugar were gathered around Chris.
"Oh Chris, you really outdid yourself!" flattered Topher.
"Tell us more, tell us more!" chanted Ella.
"There were a thousand and one of them; how was that not enough?!" He faced the camera. "Hey, you!" What? "Give me some ideas here!" I've got nothing. "Looks like we're all out of jokes!"
"Then we're outta here!" cried Sugar. The three left.
Rhinoceri: 4, Zebras: 11
"Alright, we've got nothing. You're all on your own now," said Don. The remaining campers breathed a sigh of relief. Laurie got up and headed towards the woods for a walk. Ernesto ended up falling asleep. Veronica walked up to where he slept. He looks so cute, she thought. She looked around, then kissed him on his forehead. When she walked away, a smile started to appear on his face.
CONFESSIONAL: Love knows no boundaries!
Veronica: I know we're on different teams, but that Ernesto guy is so cute! I wonder if he likes me the same way…"
*STATIC*
Laurie continued her "nature walk" in the woods. "I wish Miles was still here," she grumbled. "I knew Chris' aura was at least as bad as Don's, if not worse…" She then saw something sitting on top of a branch of a tree. "What's this?" Upon further investigation, it was…
"...a Chef idol?" She scratched her head, then put it in her pocket. She continued walking.
CAMPFIRE
By the time Laurie returned, Mickey, Jay, Spud, and Brick fell asleep. Jo noticed Brick peed himself again, and she chuckled to herself. She then yawned and fell asleep.
Rhinoceri: 3, Zebras: 6
Rodney decided to do pull-ups to keep himself awake. He jumped to grab a tree branch. Unfortunately, his excess muscle caused the branch to fall, and he fell head-first in the grass, knocking him out. Anne Maria, who was spraying her hair, started to tire out, so she tried to spray her face. It led to her eyes burning, causing her to run towards the lake and dunk her face into it. She then fell asleep. Leonard and Tammy fell asleep after attempting to cast spells that would keep them awake. Jacques and Josee looked around at their fallen teammates and groaned. "I can't go on. You will win this for us," Jacques said to Josee. Josee nodded, and Jacques hit dreamland.
Veronica and Laurie ended up falling asleep next. Izzy decided to have fun with Josee.
"Bet you can't still do this! Ha ha, ha ha!" said Izzy, who started doing cartwheels. Josee didn't even bat an eyelid. "I'm not even tired."
"Huh? Well, neither am I! That explains why I'm still able to do this, and—" Izzy suddenly fell to the floor, knocked out. Chris ran over and raised a smiling Josee's hand.
"WINNERS: THE ZESTY ZEBRAS! Rambunctious Rhinoceri, time to vote someone out!"
ELIMINATION CEREMONY
The Rambunctious Rhinoceri was gathered around the campfire.
"When I call your name, grab a marshmallow. Laurie, Veronica, Mickey, Topher, Ella, Rock, Chad, Dara, Tom, Lindsay, Abby, Ellody, Harold, B, Mike, Cameron, Zoey, Noah, Ryan, Justin, Max, Miles, Sierra, Ezekiel, Dave, Sky, Eva, Katie, Sadie, Blaineley, Amy, Sammy, Kelly, Gwen, Leshawna, Jasmine, DJ, Pete, Gerry, Crimson, Ennui, and Sanders."
"Izzy, you were the last one on this team to fall asleep, therefore you're the reason you're all here. Owen, you made the same mistake you made in season one, jinxing yourself, causing you to be the first one out of this challenge. And Duncan, you made homophobic comments towards JD from the other team, making him very mad. The next marshmallow goes to…
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Izzy! And the last one goes to…
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...Owen! Duncan, you're out!"
The green-haired delinquent stood up angrily. "You know what?! Fine! Who cares if my life on this show sucks! I've been through enough on this shit stain!" He signaled for Chef to strap a firecracker onto his back. Three seconds after the fuse was lit, Duncan went flying. Chris and Don walked up.
"Two down, 78 to go! Who will become our next nighttime attraction? What do we have in store for our campers? Find out next time, right here, on TOTAL!" yelled Don.
"DRAMA!" yelled Chris.
"DOMINATION!" both hosts yell.
[1] They're spelled with the same letters.
[2] He deleted system32. You need it in order for your computer to actually work.
[3] Look up clips of Animaniacs in German. What Yakko sounds like in that language is basically what Jordan sounds like.
#90: Staci
#89: Duncan
RAMBUNCTIOUS RHINOCERI:
Sanders
Harold
Cameron
Lindsay
Tom
Veronica
Pete
Ezekiel
Ennui
Crimson
Izzy
Owen
Gerry
Leshawna
Sky
Eva
Mike
Katie
Mickey
Noah
Jasmine
Sammy
Dave
DJ
Rock
Abby
Amy
Blaineley
Miles
Ellody
Kelly
Topher
Ella
Zoey
Gwen
Sierra
B
Sadie
Dara
Laurie
Chad
Justin
Max
Ryan
ZESTY ZEBRAS:
Geoff
Ernesto
Chet
Jen
Lightning
Scarlett
Spud
Alejandro
Sam
Jay
Josee
Dawn
Jo
Brick
Devin
Beardo
Cody
Bridgette
Taylor
Brody
Scott
Sugar
MacArthur
Shawn
Tammy
Tyler
Emma
Leonard
Carrie
Dwayne
Trent
JD
Kitty
Mary
Stephanie
Jacques
Beth
Dakota
Lorenzo
Heather
Junior
Rodney
Anne Maria
Courtney
...aaaaaaand, that's it! Duncan had already made the merge four times in the past, so this was definitely needed. I had originally been wanting to do what I had planned for him in the original, which was be a minor antagonist that would be pushed aside by a major one (like Justin from TDA). However, I feel Duncan's plot has been stretched as far as it can get, plus I want to keep Owen and Izzy around because I see more room for development for both of them.
My apologies if you are offended by anything in this chapter. I figured since the producers and writers of the canon show are never gonna make a season like this, that I stretch my boundaries.
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