"Last time on Total Drama Domination," said Chris.
The camera shows Lorenzo and Mary talking to each other, ending with Mary grabbing their rope, causing Ellody to fall.
"Our campers got to know how trustworthy their fellow teammates were," said Chris. "Let's just say I wouldn't trust many of them to babysit Larry!" [1]
The camera shows Josee putting mushrooms in Rock and Taylor's gumbo, followed by Scarlett deliberately getting shot in the tongue by Jay, and finally Chad calling out false directions.
"The Zesty Zebras lost courtesy of the villains alliance's sabotage!" said Don.
The camera shows Josee's anonymous note being signed, Chad advertising protein shakes as someone else, and Scarlett pretending to sob to Jay.
"However, their craftiness swayed some of the dumber members of their team onto their side without them realizing what they got into!"
The camera shows Ellody suggesting splitting the vote, followed by her talking to the villains alliance.
"Let's not forget Ellody going behind her team's back and secretly agreeing to help the villains alliance for her own gain!" said Don.
The camera shows Rodney being distracted by a topless Izzy, followed by his reaction to getting eliminated.
"In the end, it was Rodney, the only one who legitimately messed up in the challenge, who got hit with an epic blindside!" said Chris.
The camera shows the hosts.
"Who will go above the clouds tonight? Find out right now, right here, on TOTAL!" yelled Don.
"DRAMA!" yelled Chris.
"DOMINATION!" yelled Hawkeye from off-screen.
"He's still here?" muttered Don.
*cue intro*
The cast was gathered in the mess hall.
"OK campers, who can tell me what comes next?" asked Chris. As always, only Sierra raised her hand. "For a cookie," he added while holding up a chocolate chip cookie. Several campers' hands shot up. "Sierra, you had your hand up first! Care to tell me?"
"The basic training challenge with Chef!"
"Correct!" The raven-haired host threw the cookie at Sierra. "For today's challenge—"
"Sorry I'm late!" Hawkeye burst into the mess hall. The hosts looked at each other with a mixture of irritation and confusion.
"Aw sweet, it's Hawkeye!" said Harold.
"Yeah I know, I'm amazing," Hawkeye brushed off the recognition.
"Well, I was just gonna have Chef host the challenge again, but since he's here," Chris jerked his thumb at Hawkeye. "We'll let him host today."
"Follow me!" Hawkeye said while making a "let's go" gesture.
The campers left the mess hall, leaving just Chris and Don. "Well, I guess we get to sleep in today," said Don.
"Eeyup," said Chris.
Hawkeye popped up behind them and yelled, "No you don't; you get your asses out here NOW!" Startled, the two hosts complied.
OUTSIDE
"So apparently in season one of this show, you guys hold on to a bunch of canoes while we sit on top of them," said Hawkeye. "We're gonna split your guys into four groups, and this challenge will not end until a team has all four groups lose someone, or after 30 minutes. Whichever comes first."
Hawkeye continued with the teams. "Rhinoceri, I want Tom, Harold, Cody, Leshawna, Abby, Courtney, Crimson, Eva, Zoey, and Lindsay in group one, Laurie, Cameron, Ennui, Gwen, Dave, DJ, Owen, Izzy, and Miles in group two, Sierra, Ezekiel, Trent, Ella, Sky, Gerry, Emma, Sanders, Sammy, and Ryan in group three, and Katie, Max, Kelly, Mike, Blaineley, Noah, Dara, Pete, and Topher in group four." The rhinoceri got into their groups and picked up their canoes, which were blue.
"Zebras, I want Scarlett, Sugar, Stephanie, Leonard, Mary, Tyler, Ernesto, Shawn, Junior, and Tammy in group one, Chet, Lorenzo, Jen, Heather, Alejandro, Jo, Beardo, Taylor, Brick, and Beth in group two, Josee, Scott, Chad, Jay, Geoff, Devin, Lightning, Bridgette, Sam, and Ellody in group three, and Rock, Carrie, Kitty, Dakota, Spud, Veronica, Jacques, Dawn, Brody, and Dwayne in group four." The zebras got into their groups and picked up their canoes, which were yellow.
TIME SKIP
Chris, Don, Keith, and Hawkeye sat on the Rhinoceri's canoes (in order), while Morgan, Lance, Millie, and Jordan sat on the Zebras' canoes (again in order).
"Alright, this challenge is ON!" Hawkeye shot an arrow at the sky.
"Why couldn't you use a gun? Chris and I would have lent you ours," said Don.
"Are you shittin' me? Are you not aware of how horrible shots you two are?" said Hawkeye. A few campers snickered.
5 MINUTES LATER
"This shit's boring; let's see some shit get turnt!" said Lance. He stood up and started jumping on his canoe, causing the lifters of his canoe to strain a little.
"Ooh, could we join?" asked Chris.
"Sure nigga," said Lance.
All eight staff members started jumping on the canoes, causing a few screams from the campers. "Cease this instant!" Tammy threw confetti in the air, taking a hand off the canoe in the process.
Don stopped jumping on his canoe. "Tammy, you're out! The rest of you, you may let go," he said. "Ring the bell of shame that way!" He pointed to a golden bell by the dock. The viking cosplayer sighed and walked away from her team. Don jumped off his canoe, and the lifters of it dropped it.
Keith jumped off his canoe and faced Sky.
"Oh yeah, let's all start walking around them," said Chris. He jumped off his canoe, and the rest of the staff followed.
"You know you want me, babe," Keith said to Sky. Sky glared at him, then turned away from him. Keith pulled on her hair, turned her head for her, and kissed the wide-eyed athlete on the lips.
"Minus that," added Chris.
Sky slapped Keith silly, and the dazed intern fainted. Her teammates (and some of the Zebras) started cheering until…
"Sky, since you took your hand off the canoe to slap him, your group is out!" said Hawkeye. Sky and her group dropped the canoe.
Sky looked a bit disappointed, but nevertheless kissed Dave on the cheek and said "good luck" to him. As she walked to ring the bell of shame, he looked lovestruck.
10 MINUTES INTO THE CHALLENGE
"Not that anyone cares, although I'm sure you all care, but my 18th birthday is coming up," said Taylor. [2]
"What do you want us to do about it?" asked Chris.
"I was thinking maybe a concert of some sort."
Rock didn't skip a beat. "I can arrange that!"
"How? Last time I recall, it was just you and potato-man."
"Oh, we can find three more people!"
"I don't mind joining!" said Chet.
"Me neither!" agreed Lorenzo.
Beardo flashed a thumbs up with a ding sound playing.
"OK. Just promise you'll have something done by then." She then leaned in and whispered to Rock (without taking her hands off the canoe), "and if you do good enough, I might give you a little extra tip."
"Ooh, a tip! Is it bigger than a quarter? Cuz, that's the biggest amount of money I've ever gotten," the long-haired rocker said sadly.
"Oh yeah, it'll be way bigger than that!" Taylor said, a bit unusually sympathetic.
"OK cool. Well, rock ya later!"
Unbeknownst to them, Kelly had been watching the whole thing.
CONFESSIONAL: I've got something rock solid…
"Is she developing a soft side?!" asked Kelly in surprise.
*STATIC*
After 30 minutes, Hawkeye spoke up. "Alright, it's been 30 minutes. You may drop your canoes."
Everyone promptly dropped their canoes, with the screaming staff members still on.
Hawkeye rubbed his temple. "After we jump off," he said. "Meet back in the mess hall for the next challenge!"
MESS HALL
Twelve aluminum trash cans stood in front of Chef's kitchen window.
"Well, we made it to the second round with only two casualties," said Hawkeye. "I'm sure you're all hungry now, so…" The Jeremy Renner superhero kicked down all twelve cans, revealing trashed foods of each food group. The campers recoiled in disgust. "Don't worry, you'll get all your major food groups. Anyone who doesn't eat in thirty minutes gets cut!" The disgusted cast shared glances with one another. "Dig in!"
Izzy dove into her team's meat can. "Mmmmmm, I'm a carnivore! Yummmmmm…" She took an a leg of ham with a bite taken out of it and starting ripping the meat off like a wolf.
"Oh ho ho ho, boy! Let me join!" Owen grabbed a gray turkey and gobbled it in one bite.
"Did he just—" questioned Dara.
Noah held up a finger. "Like Sadistic and Sadistic-er say, don't question the logic of this show."
"Aren't they your friends though?"
"Yeah, but...let's just say I'm the hot dog that brings the buns together." The quiet girl raised an eyebrow at Noah's unintentional double entendre. "Oh! I mean, uh…"
The girl just smiled. "I know what you meant."
Emma saw the conversation. She promptly ran to the grains can and found a half-eaten dinner roll. She shrugged, took a bite out of it, and gagged.
CONFESSIONAL: I wonder how long it took for the staff to eat all of that food. Wait a minute, is that even theirs?
"No I'm not jealous. I just wanted Noah to see me eat so he could stop talking to that new girl and get his butt into gear!" Emma looked around and gripped her arm with her other hand. "I mean...hey, I never said I was jealous!"
*STATIC*
"Oh that reminds me." Noah ran over and swiped the roll from Emma's hands, eating it for her.
"Oh, Noah! Hi...thanks. Uh…" Emma didn't know what to say. "So...you were talking to someone over there…"
"Dara? No, we're just friends. Why do you think I went out of my way to finish your painful job for you?" Emma blushed. "And as an added bonus, I ate a bite out of something, meaning I participated too. Now neither of us need to keep going, sweetheart." Emma giggled and covered her mouth.
CONFESSIONAL: I wonder what a heart tastes like.
"You're right. I guess I kind of am being a bit too clingy. After Jake broke up with me for 'taking things too fast' *she puts air quotes on those words*, I'm trying to be as cautious as I can with Noah," said Emma. She then smirked. "Sorry Nemma haters, but we're a ship that can't be sunk."
*STATIC*
Jay dug through his team's fats can and found an unopened container with a slice of cheesecake with strawberry filling inside.
Kitty was passing by when she stopped. "Oh hi, Jay! Looks like you got lucky today!"
"Y-yeah…"
"Could I have some, too?"
"Sure."
CONFESSIONAL: *drops a slice of American cheese on top of a slice of red velvet cake* I don't think I'm doing it right…
Jay stood proudly. "I got to eat actual food and say more than one sentence to a girl that has nothing to do with us being OK?" He then looked at the camera a bit uneasy. "Mickey, I'm sorry, I don't know how else to say this, but I think you might be the reason we've been having such bad luck. I could be wrong though. Try doing stuff on your own and see if the problem is us being together."
DOCTOR'S OFFICE
"And it appears you no longer need to wear that silly headgear," The Doctor said. [3]
"Woohoo!" cried Mickey, raising his arms up.
RETURN
"Huh. I stand corrected. Two rights make a wrong, I guess."
*STATIC*
"You two have not eaten anything yet!" Hawkeye was talking to the vegans.
"This is not what recycling is for!" said Laurie.
"Disposing," corrected the Avenger.
"We are not the end of their cycle!" Miles agreed with her darker-haired friend.
"Well, I suppose there's another use for this then…" Hawkeye proceeds to take a cow's organ and throws it on the ground outside.
The vegans gasped, then pointed angrily at the superhero. "You MONSTER! You are hurting our mother nature!" cried Laurie.
"Either start eating or I throw more trash!" Hawkeye flung a cow's dick through the mess hall, and it too landed outside.
The vegans looked at each other, then glared back at Hawkeye. "We'll fight you," Miles declared firmly.
Everyone in the mess hall stopped what they were doing and gasped. Laurie lunged at the superhero...only to get shot back down by him. Miles wasn't bothered by this, and she kept running. She got knocked out by Hawkeye in one punch.
"What can I say? Bow and arrows aren't my only weapon," said the Avenger.
"This guy's better than I thought," Don muttered to Chris, who nodded.
30 MINUTES INTO THE CHALLENGE
"Well, we managed to go another half hour with only two more people dropping out," said Hawkeye. "For your next challenge, you will write a five page essay about how awesome I am!" The cast groaned and rolled their eyes. "Oh, stop complaining. Complaining brings paining that leads to no gaining and popularity waning!" [4] The campers, not sure how to react, got to work. "Oh, and no sleeping during this!"
AFTER WRITING
"Is everyone done?" asked Hawkeye. When he looked around and saw no one else writing, he continued. He picked up a smirking Scarlett's paper. "I love Hawkeye because he is really really...really really really...really...this is one long sentence with five pages of reallys in between!"
"It's 500 words exactly. You can count them if you'd like."
"Uh, no. Chef might have been lenient about that in the first season, but I certainly am not. Get out and ring the bell of shame!" A disappointed Scarlett had no choice but to walk outside. Hawkeye looked around and saw Harold, Tom, Trent, Gerry, Pete, Ezekiel, Topher, Ella, Dara, Cody, Spud, Sam, and Lorenzo had fallen asleep. He promptly blew his airhorn, startling everyone.
"Yeah, how about warning us when you're gonna do that?" said Gwen.
"Nah," was the superhero's reply. "The 13 of you that fell asleep, ring that bell!" They obliged. "The rest of you, follow me outside, but change into your swimsuits first."
ON THE BEACH
The teams were tethered to a rope with sandbags clipped to their backs. They were in an enclosed square, with the Zebras on the side closest to the shore and the Rhinoceri on the side furthest from it. They shivered in the water. "The water sure gets cold at night," said Bridgette. Forgot to mention, it's been night ever since they finished writing those essays.
"Yeah, don't care," said Hawkeye. "Anyways, you are all tethered to a giant ass rope."
"Is that why it smells so weird?" asked Lindsay. The contestants looked at the rope and noticed it was flesh colored, and the texture felt like flesh too.
"Yeah, I found the stash of former interns on this show, sliced off their ass cheeks with my arrows, and then contorted them into that long rope you're holding!"
"EWW!" The rest of the cast screamed. The interns put their hands over their asscheeks.
Hawkeye just laughed. "Anyways, you are to run around that half kilometer track while carrying 5 kilogram sandbags." The camera shows the cast looking at one another. "The object of this last challenge is to tag the other team out." The camera went back to Hawkeye. "If you get too tired to continue, you can unclip yourself, but you must give your sandbag to someone else." He took out his bow and arrow. "Everyone ready?" When the campers nodded, he shot an arrow up to the sky and yelled "go!"
The campers began running around the square. After twenty seconds, Brick, who was leading the Zebras, slowed to a walk. "Walk, soldiers. Walk." The team followed suit, but they were a bit confused. "Why can't we just run?" asked Jo.
"We'll catch them by surprise, soldier." Jo rolled her eyes.
"OK, let them have their little game," Courtney ordered her team to walk as well.
After ten seconds, Brick yelled, "let's move soldiers!" and began running again. Unfortunately, he was back to walking after five seconds. "I can't run right now. I'm too tired."
"Then hand your sandbag to me," said Jo.
"A true soldier never quits," said Brick.
"Ugh, good grief! How about speed-walking?!"
"OK, will do." The Zebras started speed-walking, until…
"Amigos! They are catching up to us!" shouted Alejandro. The Zebras were on a full sprint.
"Alright, we'll jog," said Brick. They started to pick up speed, only to stop after five seconds. "I'm sorry, I can't do it."
"The Rhinoceri are now on the same side of the course as the Zebras!" said Hawkeye.
Jo lunged at Brick, and she quickly detached an angry Brick from the rope. "Finally, let's start winning!" The Zebras started running faster than the Rhinoceri.
"The Zebras are making a comeback!" said Hawkeye.
"If it makes us go faster..." said Noah. He and Owen unclipped themselves.
"Owen and Noah dropping out!"
At this point, the Zebras were on the side opposite the Rhinoceri. Cameron, Leshawna, and Sammy dropped out next.
"Cameron, Leshawna, and Sammy are out! Say, shouldn't Amy be mocking Sammy right now?"
"It's a long story," said Chris.
The Rhinoceri still weren't getting any faster. "The Zebras are less than 100 meters away from the finish line!" announced Hawkeye.
"We're almost there!" exclaimed Jo.
"50 meters!" yelled Hawkeye!
"40!"
"30!"
"20!"
"10!"
Just seconds later, Jo tagged Sanders, the one farthest back for the Rhinoceri.
"And the Zebras win!" announced Hawkeye.
The Zebras cheered, except for Brick, who was scowling with crossed arms.
"Rhinoceri! You have a date with us at the campfire! Take ten to discuss the vote!"
IN FRONT OF THE ZEBRA BOYS' CABIN
"You dishonored my code, soldier!" yelled Brick.
"You don't think the army isn't stubborn like you?" taunted Jo.
"You know what?! No more Mr. Nice Guy! I will enforce…" The cadet lowered his voice to a whisper. "...Drill Sergeant McNasty."
More than half the team gasped.
Jo just laughed. "That is so pathetic. Hawkeye, Chris, Don?"
The hosts were standing by the beach. "Yeah?" called Don.
"We're forfeiting immunity!" Jo called back.
Now the whole team gasped.
CONFESSIONAL: WHAM!
"Who the fuck does she think she is?" said Brick. "You know, I kind of like this new attitude of mine."
*STATIC*
"This is perfect; Jo and Brick have a conflict! There's no way my alliance and I are in danger," Josee said confidently.
*STATIC*
"Yep. This team gets worse by the episode," said Ernesto. "I am not giving up, though."
*STATIC*
"So I noticed Rock and his band voted with Josee's stupid alliance yesterday," said Taylor. "I managed to sweet-talk them and some other people into voting someone else out…"
*STATIC*, ELIMINATION CEREMONY
The Zesty Zebras were gathered at the elimination ceremony.
"Well for the first time ever, a team has forfeited their victory to go to the elimination ceremony," said Chris. "You've all cast your votes, yadda yadda yadda. Marshmallows go to...Sugar, Stephanie, Leonard, Mary, Tyler, Ernesto, Shawn, Junior, Chet, Lorenzo, Jen, Heather, Alejandro, Beardo, Taylor, Beth, Scott, Jay, Geoff, Devin, Lightning, Bridgette, Sam, Ellody, Rock, Carrie, Kitty, Dakota, Spud, Veronica, Jacques, Dawn, Brody, Dwayne, Josee, Chad…"
At this point, the alliance smirked, and Jo and Brick glared down each other. "Jo and Brick!"
The alliance gasped as the two jocks caught their marshmallows with two fingers, never taking their eyes off each other.
Scarlett stood up angrily. "NOOOOO! This game should have been MINE! MINE!"
Chef ran over and strapped the defeated villain into a firecracker, lit the fuse, and in three seconds, she went flying.
The Zebras left, leaving a still slack jawed Josee and Chad behind. "Sooooo...looks like we're fucked," said Chad.
"We don't know if Ellody voted with us or not," said Josee.
"Well Hawkeye, you were a phenomenal host, and as disgusting as it was, you made great use of our dead interns!" Don gave the superhero $100,000. "Here's $100,000, and you're now a host alongside us!"
"Cool."
We see the inside of the winner's briefcase, which has $800,000 now.
The camera cuts back to the hosts. "Is this the end of Josee and Chad's reign? When will they know Ellody isn't truly on their side? Can Ernesto, or anyone really, get the team united, and fast? Is the new Brick here to stay? What about Rock and Taylor? Can Rock deliver a kickass 18th birthday party for Taylor? Tune in next time, right here, on TOTAL!" yelled Chris.
"DRAMA!" yelled Don.
"DOMINATION!" all three hosts yell.
MEANWHILE
Duncan passed a sign that said, "Muskoka: 150 kilometers."
ELSEWHERE AT CAMP
Taylor and Rock were in an unused guest bedroom.
"Thanks for flipping on that bitch; you saw her face when she got hit with that blindside, did you?" said Taylor.
"Uh huh! Sooo...what was that thing you promised me?"
"Oh! Right." Taylor walked over and closed the blinds...
[1] Chris has a plant named Larry.
[2] The RR cast's ages were posted on Facebook. Taylor was 17 according to the post, so that's why she's turning 18.
[3] Doctor Who, anyone?
[4] I pronounce waning "wan ing," but some people pronounce it "wain ing," so that's what I did to follow the "snitches get stitches" style rhyme.
ELIMINATION ORDER:
#90: Staci
#89: Duncan
#88: Anne Maria
#87: Sadie
#86: B
#85: Justin
#84: MacArthur
#83: Mickey
#82: Jasmine
#81: JD
#80: Rodney
#79: Scarlett
RAMBUNCTIOUS RHINOCERI:
Sanders
Harold
Cameron
Lindsay
Tom
Trent
Pete
Ezekiel
Ennui
Crimson
Izzy
Owen
Gerry
Leshawna
Sky
Eva
Mike
Katie
Noah
Sammy
Dave
DJ
Emma
Abby
Amy
Blaineley
Miles
Courtney
Kelly
Topher
Ella
Zoey
Gwen
Sierra
Dara
Laurie
Cody
Max
Ryan
ZESTY ZEBRAS:
Geoff
Ernesto
Chet
Jen
Lightning
Spud
Alejandro
Sam
Jay
Josee
Dawn
Jo
Brick
Devin
Beardo
Chad
Bridgette
Taylor
Brody
Scott
Sugar
Shawn
Tammy
Tyler
Rock
Leonard
Carrie
Dwayne
Veronica
Kitty
Mary
Stephanie
Jacques
Beth
Dakota
Lorenzo
Heather
Junior
Ellody
...aaaaaaaaaaaaand that's the chapter! We lost one of our major villains this episode, gained a new host, and a new couple has been formed!
Scarlett ultimately lacked dimension. She could be as evil as she could, but she's already run out of anything unique. Josee's trying a different approach to being evil, while Chad is a new character in need of exploring.
As always, read and review on fanfiction dot net, and comment and favorite on DeviantArt!