"We've been here for a while already, but I still find this place amazing."
Viktor smiled at me as I continued to look over at the flower bed. A neatly placed stone path traveled through the open space near the edge of the property. Along the walkway various plants were placed, from decorative ones such as lavender, to roots and culinary herbs. The garden was beautiful. The work on it looked to be very meticulous, great care having gone into the place. With the sun setting in the background, and the glow shining from behind the spaces between the leaves, it all looked quite lovely.
"It is good you are enjoying it. This garden certainly is my mother's pride and joy."
"It should be" I nodded at him. "Back home we have a staff dedicated to the maintenance of our garden and I would say that this is well on par with ours. Did your mother really do this all herself?"
"My father and I, ve try to help vhen possible, yet there are times she insists on doing so alone" Vik called back with a sigh. "But I did think you vould enjoy this part of the home. I am glad you came."
"I'm glad I came too. I needed to get away for a bit, and this place is very peaceful. It truly is a wonderful place to—"
"Krum!"
"...get interrupted" I finished, making a face. Vik gave me a smile as we both turned to the source of the outburst.
"Hey, Krum" Draco called out to him, in his usual loving tone, "where are your roses or whatever. Your mother wants me to water the things."
"Don't say 'or whatever'" I lectured.
"I can say whatever I want" Draco frowned at me. I gave him a look but he turned away, back to whom he had actually meant the question.
"Her miranda roses are that vay" Vik explained, pointing the way. On the far end of the outline of the field lay a tuft of pink. Draco frowned when noting the distance but nodded. He wandered off as gave him a sigh.
"I'm sorry he's been so difficult today. Thank you again for letting us both come."
"It is of no trouble. He is a friend, and I do not mind" Viktor smiled at me.
"Are you sure?" I asked, starting to feel bad about bringing him so suddenly. "Even I'm starting to mind him, and I've developed a rather deep tolerance to his attitude."
"It is alright. He has been a very helpful guest," Viktor called, with a tone of humor. "My mother has really taken a liking to him."
"Yes, well, he knows how to play a good boy when it's convenient for him" I muttered the bit. Viktor's expression changed from one of humor to one that was slightly concerned.
"Although I do not mind him, I do not believe he is enjoying himself" he commented simply.
"Good" I crossed my arms at him, knowing that's probably not the response he was intending. Viktor smiled once more.
"Vhat vas it you vere punishing him for?" Vik asked curiously. "Did the two of you have an argument again?"
"Not an argument" I answered slowly. "He and a few friends had some… fun during his birthday party. They got drunk. So, since his parents are not going to do anything about it, I'm taking it upon myself to teach him a lesson."
"I see" he said, looking away for a moment before looking back to me. "It looks like he's enjoying spending some time vith you at least."
"Does he?" I asked. Vik nodded at me, but I gave Draco a frown. "Well, I'll need to fix that then."
Viktor let out a laugh at that. I gave him a smile in return. It was really good to see him.
Regardless of Draco's punishment, I was somewhat glad we were both enjoying ourselves. Over the years I had visited many places, Bulgaria included, but I had forgotten how lovely the country could be. With the visit, Viktor had taken it upon himself to show us some of the better tourist areas to see, the Emenski Kanion being one of them. Even if he was technically in punishment, Draco had joined us on that expedition. I couldn't just leave Draco to himself all the time, but a few here and there served him right. We hadn't taken him to the beach this time around, which had obviously made him resentful. Truthfully, I still believed I was being lenient. I suppose his gifts, or rather bribes, had worked after all.
"So, vhat did he do to make you so relentless?" Viktor asked, as if thinking the opposite of my own thoughts.
"You mean, besides him drinking underage?" I asked in return. Viktor waited for a complete reply. I shook my head. "Well, he mostly confused me with his inebriated babble all night. Mostly he swore at me repeatedly, almost got into a fight, twice, and made a mess of his room. "
"Babble?" he asked, overlooking the actual cause of my frustration with him.
"From what I could make of it he complained about George, told me I was perfect, and he even said he like Pansy, for some unknown reason" I shook my head at that. That was still the most confusing thing he had said all night. "Then he proceeded to tell me he loved me until he passed out into a drunken stupor from, what I'm assuming, was exhaustion."
"He told you that he loved you?"
"Yeah, he always tells me he loves me, I'm used to that. It's the insisting that made it stick out" I grumbled.
Vik gave me a smile before turning his attention towards Draco. He watched him for a moment, as he clumsily spilled water over the flowers. From his expression I could tell Draco was complaining to himself about the gardening. He tipped over the pitcher of water, nearly spilling the whole thing. Quickly he tried to scoop up the fallen water before realizing how silly that was. With what I assume was a swear he stood himself up and kicked towards the roses, missing them only so slightly. I gave him a sigh.
"Maybe you should go easy on him" Viktor suggested, looking back to me.
"Why?" I narrowed my eyes at him in return.
"Everyone has at least some curiosity of vhat it is like to drink" Vik gave me a smile and simply shrugged.
"Yes, morbid curiosity, that later turns into a habit, and soon an addiction. I will not be having down that road" I crossed my arms indignantly. Vik chuckled and stepped forward, putting a hand on my head softly. I gave him a glowering look. "I hate it when you do that."
"I know" he smiled again and stroked my head softly. "But, in all honesty, you do not have much to vorry about. That interest often goes avay once the person is of a legal drinking age. It is more about the feeling of being defiant than the actual alcohol. It is all harmless rebellion."
"How do you know he won't" I contested.
"Because he sees how against it you are. That should be enough to deter him from it; you do not need this much punishment."
"You think…" I pondered, looking as Draco kicked the pitcher. Watching it tip over he sighed to himself. Viktor gave him a smile and turned to give me a nod.
"I do believe so. Of course, that vould not stop you from vanting to punish him, but I am sure he learned his lesson."
I turned back once more looking at Draco. At this point, he was mostly an outline of a shadow from the setting sun. It did surprise me how willing he had been to accept his punishment. I suppose I should take that into account. Originally, I had wanted him to work like this for the entirety of the trip but, either due to Vik's words or the look of Draco as he worked, I was beginning to reconsider it.
"I'll think about it" I mumbled. Viktor gave me a chuckle once more before letting go of me.
"For someone so kind you are a very angry person" he called out slowly, letting out a particular smile.
"Thank you, that's very sweet of you" I gave him an innocent smile back, making him chuckle once more.
Not much longer, his mother emerged from their home. She was a pleasant woman, the type that was genuinely kind. Or perhaps, she was so persuasive she just appeared genuine. Either way, she was the kind of person that deserved respect. Mrs. Krum came to greet us, coming to inform us that dinner was almost ready. Viktor offered to set up her table. I suggested I should help as well but he shook his head, turning to nod at Draco. Understanding what he meant, I moved to go get him as the two wandered back to their home.
Draco was scrunched over glowering down at the flowers in front of him. He seemed to have finished the work that was asked of him but he wasn't getting up from the spot. I walked a little slower, giving him some breathing room. Apparently Vik was having a negative effect on me; I was going soft. At the sound of my sigh his shadow turned to me. At first the expression on his face looked confused, but eventually it settled back into its frown. I rolled my eyes at him and took the final steps towards him.
"Come on, it's time for dinner"
"Oh, now you want me around?" Draco grumbled, still giving me that look.
"If I didn't want you around, I wouldn't have brought you on the trip" I grumbled back at him.
"Bullshit."
"Language" I frowned back at him. Draco rolled his eyes at me and turned back to glower down at the roses. With a sigh I took a step closer and took my seat next to him. He made a face and looked at the spot I had sat in. I let out a sigh. "What are you going to whine about now?"
"You're ruining your dress" he frowned. It took me a moment to realize what he was referring to. I glanced down at it indifferently.
"Oh, that's fine" I shrugged back at him. "My mother packed me plenty of clothes, one less dress won't be so bad. In fact, she'll probably take it as an incentive to take me shopping."
"Idiot, that's not the point" he sighed.
"They're just clothes" I grumbled at him.
"Are you sure you're a girl?" Draco gave me a look.
"Are you?" I shot back. He gave me a look and I returned to him a sigh. "Are you still upset that we didn't take you with us on the trip today?"
"You left me here to work while you went off to some sunny beach!" Draco glared down at me. I couldn't help but roll my eyes again.
"It's Sunny Beach, not some sunny beach. That's the name of the beach, not a description of what—"
"That's not the point I'm trying to make either, you dense brat!" he interrupted me with a bark. Draco's expression shifted from me to the items in front of him. He fell back from his crouch, sitting himself down next to me. "You're off enjoying yourself while I'm stuck here, doing this shit."
"Language" I warned once more, tapping his cheek. Draco gave me a look and opened his mouth to say something. Not waiting for him to complain again I placed a hand over it. His scowl deepened but this time I returned it. "I'm serious. Viktor's mother is close by. I don't want you disrespecting her. She has been nothing but loving and courteous to you since you've arrived, and I don't want her overhearing this. It's me you're angry at; I've warned you about misplacing your anger."
"Bite me" he called back, pushing my hand out of the way. I gave him a smile.
"Much better" I nodded and reached for his arm, turning to the flowers in front of us. "You've actually done a fairly good job."
"Don't get any stupid ideas" he gave me a look, guessing where I was going with this.
"Don't worry, all my ideas are great. You know, because I'm perfect and all that" I gave him an arrogant smile. Draco gave me a look in return.
"I was piss drunk, you shouldn't take anything I told you to heart" Draco grumbled. "I told you that you were beautiful, for Merlin's sake. That should have been your first clue."
"Hey, I am very attractive" I frowned over to him.
"Sure you are" Draco stretched a hand over and patted my head. My frown turned into a glare.
"Shouldn't you be getting back to work now?" I let go of his arm, ignoring the fact I had come to fetch him for dinner.
"Why am I still being punished? It's been over a week already. I don't even remember half of the things I did that night. Did I accidentally tell you how ironic I think it is that you want to become a healer?" Draco asked with a groan. I hit his arm and he raised his face at me. "That, right there! That's exactly what I mean!"
"Oh, shut up. I told you already you could leave at any time."
"And leave you here alone?" he gave me a look.
"Exactly" I smiled knowingly. "You could but you won't because then you'll feel guilty. You would never be able to live with yourself."
"I'm sure I'd get over it eventually..." Draco scrunched up his face, as if giving that idea some thought.
"You wouldn't, because you love me."
"About as much as I love a headache."
"That sounds familiar" I noted. "Have you said that before?"
"Considering how often you give me a headache, I would say it is possible" he nodded.
"Well, most things are possible, Deedee. It's whether they're probable or not that is the issue—"
"And here comes one now."
I leaned closer to him, giving Draco a look. He mimicked my expression, meeting my eyes. But, realizing something, I suddenly paused. His expression turned from a frown to one of confusion as I noticed a difference on his face. With that I let out a smile.
"Are you blushing?" I asked curiously. I hadn't seen him do that in a while. Draco's face looked shocked at the sound and turned away quickly. His face was now not only dirty but red. I let out a giggle and he gave me a look.
"Shut up, I am not" he snapped, looking away from me. "This is ridiculous. I should not have to be made to act like a house-elf! All I've done since we've come here is do house work while you go off with Krum on trips and who knows what else. I'm exhausted, that's probably what's causing this. All the blood is going to my head."
"Something is going to your head alright" I sighed, and he gave me a look.
"Then why don't I just leave" Draco glared down at me, forgetting we had already established he wasn't capable of doing so. But I raised an eyebrow, deciding to call his bluff.
"Of course, you could. What you do with your life is ultimately your decision. Just know that it is also my decision to inform your mother, as well as a good few reporters my mother has in acquaintance, of your little bender the night of your party" I reminded him, and received a glare. "Of course, my decision is directly correlated to your decision…"
"How long are you going to be blackmailing me like this?" Draco glowered at me.
"Until I feel your shenanigans have been repaid. Maybe a few more days, it shouldn't be longer than what's left of the trip. I'll let you know" I smiled over to him. Draco gave me a look, and I gave him a sigh. "Fine, fine, let's take a rest. Mrs. Krum should be just about finished making dinner. Why don't you grab a bit and catch your breath."
"Oh, goody" he threw his hands up in mock enthusiasm. At that, Viktor came to join us. He stood close but kept some space as Draco turned to glare up at him. "You know, I hold you partly to blame for this whole thing."
"Be nice" I snapped and he settled back with a grumble.
"Dinner is prepared, for vhen you are ready" Viktor kindly informed us, but it wasn't very well received.
Draco made a face at me and stood up with a grumble. He started but paused for a moment. Carefully he stretched a hand out, helping me stand. I swatted at my dirtied dress once up. He frowned at it. In one swift movement Draco shrugged off his cloak and threw it at me. I moved the garment from where it had landed on my face and frowned over to him. Unfortunately for my well prepared look, he had already turned away.
"You look a mess, put that on and make yourself presentable."
"Like you're such a princess yourself" I gave him a look back. He shook his head at me and began walking away. I gave him a frown but put on the cloak. Viktor gave him a chuckle, not affected by his rudeness. "Sorry you had to come out here for us. We ended up talking and I didn't realize how long we were actually taking."
"It is not a problem. Is he okay?" he asked, watching as Draco stomped off towards his home.
"Yes, he's just being a baby about his punishment. That, combined with the fact he doesn't know how to express his feelings very well, causes him to lash out sometimes" I let out a sigh.
"So it vould seem" Vik smiled.
"He's never been good at it. For the first few times he came over to visit as children, Draco would always complain that he was having a terrible time, whining almost the entire visit about one thing or another. Then, at the end of the visit, he would ask when he could come visit again" I gave a smile at the latter part of the memory.
"So this is normal behavior for him?" Viktor asked, and I nodded in response.
"I would be more concerned if he actually did tell me what was bothering him. I'm used to just figuring it out myself" I shrugged at him.
"But of course you cannot alvays tell and, if that vere to happen, then even you vould not know" Vik nodded to himself, as if understanding something. I paused for a moment and looked up at him.
"What makes you say that?" I asked. He gave me a curious look.
"It vould be impressive if you could alvays tell" he answered me slowly. I wasn't sure if I could completely believe him but I continued towards his home. Vik didn't normally lie but, if he did, it wouldn't be over something so careless. Viktor didn't contribute to it either, simply following me out of the grounds.
We stepped into his home, careful not to drag any of the outside in. As we made our way into the dining area I saw Draco speaking to Viktor's mother. She smiled sweetly at him and gestured for him to sit. As he did the two noticed us enter. With a pleasant greeting, his mother led us to our place. Draco tried to ignore me as I took my seat next to him. As she finished serving the rest of the food I glanced around the area once more. I had noticed the difference in size with the homes I usually visited but it was still very nice. It reminded me somewhat of what I had seen of Nikolai's home.
Dinner at the Krum's was naturally pleasant. The calm and casual environment always felt nice, making the trip more of a vacation. Whenever we had family dinners at the manor my parents usually took the time to lecture me. Seeing as I never made myself available to them any other time, for that very reason, they decided dinner was the best time to get their frustrations with me out in the open. Even with Viktor's father momentarily away on business the place still had a more hospitable and pleasant conversation than our dinners ever did.
Once supper was done with I offered to help them clean up, but the offer was swiftly denied. Viktor insisted that we were guests while his mother added that we had helped enough. By "we" she of course meant Draco, and he made sure to clarify that as the two of us turned into the living room. It was true I hadn't been much help since having arrived but I had been the one to invite Draco, so really his helpfulness was my doing. Besides, it was rude to contradict the host. We gladly took our seats on the sofa, Draco slumping down next to me.
"It's just a beach. It's not like you've never been to one before" I gave him a look, knowing that was the reason for his continuous sulking. He returned to me a look.
"It's not about the stupid beach. It's about you leaving me to slave away like a house-elf while you spoiled your bratty self" Draco glared down at me, letting go of his good boy act now that we were alone. "Fine, whatever. So how was it, anyway?"
"It was good" I smiled, glad he was at least trying. Draco noted the smile and stopped a bit of his glowering. "Mostly, we just walked around, looking at the area. There were a lot of people around, though. Some girls actually recognized Vik."
"Oh?" Draco mentioned with indifference, but I nodded anyway.
"They ended up asking for his autograph. I didn't want to be a bother, so I let him do that whole 'famous' thing and wandered off myself for a moment" I shrugged. "On the plus side, the ice cream there is pretty good."
"Did he get it as an apology for getting distracted?" he mumbled, still only half listening.
"No," I shook my head, "some boy I met offered to buy me some while I had wandered off."
"What?" Draco snapped, sitting up quickly from his relaxed state. I blinked, a little surprised. "What boy? Why did you accept that?"
"Well, I don't remember his name. He noticed I was a tourist and offered to show me around. I refused and told him I was waiting for someone. After that he made small talk for a bit and offered to buy me some ice cream from a nearby stand. Apparently it also happened to be the best stand on the beach. I felt it rude to refuse help twice so callously, especially in a culture that is so hospitable, so I accepted" I gave him a shrug, still not understanding his reaction. "Besides, the ice cream seemed tempting at the time, and he was right, it was really good. I would have just gotten it myself, but I didn't have any of that currency on me."
"Wait! Did you accept food from a muggle?" Draco snapped again, sounding even more bothered. I rolled my eyes at him.
"I don't want to get into that argument right now but, no, he wasn't a muggle" I gave Draco a look. "He recognized Vik as well when he met us, after he had finished talking to those girls. Vik had offered to pay for everything while we were on the trip so I left any money I had home. It's not like I can do here what I can do back home and just have a loan system set under our family name. Either way, Vik offered to pay him back but the guy refused. He left pretty quickly after that, I suppose he didn't want to intrude on the rest of the trip."
"...merlin… dense..." Draco half mumbled under his breath, low enough that I only heard about half the words.
"What did you call me?" I lowered my eyes at him. He looked back up at me but didn't answer. Instead he let out a sigh.
"At least he left quickly," he called more audibly now, sounding resentful of the trip again, "but you shouldn't be taking gifts from strangers like that."
"It was just ice cream" I waved the lecture away but Draco persisted.
"Don't be an idiot, people don't just give things away for free. Not even idiots do that. That guy probably wanted something from you, did you ever think of that?" he contested.
"Like I said, he recognized Vik. I just assumed he had seen us together and thought of the gesture as a way to get to his good side. He is very well known in his home country" I reminded. Draco rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, it was Krum's good side he wanted to get on" Draco grumbled, looking down on me.
"As opposed to getting on his bad side?" I asked, wanting to know where he was getting with the comment. Draco kept his look but, before he could keep whining, Viktor's mother stepped into the room.
"Okay" she called, clapping her hands gently at us. "It is almost time ve go off to bed. Say your goodnights, it is time for sleep."
Looking out the window the sun wasn't fully gone, but it was well on its way. I wasn't done talking to Draco but, not wanting to be a bother, did as she said. Expressing once again my gratefulness of their hospitality, and making sure Draco did the same, I excused myself for the night. Last I saw, Vik's mother continued to coo over Draco, wishing him a good night as I stepped into my assigned room.
The spare room they had set for me was pretty nice. Unlike my mother's decorations, this place didn't look like someone had piled in any possibility of pink, which I appreciated. It also had a nice view. With a smile at the setting sun, I grabbed some bedtime attire and began to change. Picking up a candle, I placed it by the nightstand and grabbed one of my books. Mother may have added an unnecessary amount of clothing to my luggage, but I had made sure to bring some books for nighttime reading.
I sat reading in my nightgown until no light came through from the window. Outside the sun had finally set behind the mountainous horizon. Behind the door, a few far away noises were being made as the last person shuffled off into their room. I paused a moment, listening. After a few more seconds there was no more sound, just quiet. With that, I stood from the bed, setting my book down next to me on the nightstand.
Moving over to the bedroom dresser, I grabbed what felt like appropriate wear for the next day. With clothes in hand I slowly opened the door, listening for any sound that signaled someone was still awake. When still no noise came, I exited the room, closing the door behind me. I tiptoed across the corridor, almost all the way down to the end. That was the only thing I found unfair of the trip, that the rooms were set so far apart. Still, I reached it soon enough. Waiting in front of the door I knocked two slow and precise knocks. Only a second later the door opened, almost as if he had been waiting for me. I gave him a smile and made my way inside. He gave a peak into the hallway, checking, as if I hadn't thought of doing that myself, before closing the door behind us. Turning back to me, he let out a sigh.
"You're going to have to sleep in your own room eventually" Draco mumbled, watching as I lay the next day's clothes on his dresser. I rolled my eyes at him. "What are you going to do if you get caught in here?"
"I'll just tell them you got yourself drunk and forced me to sleep in the same room as you" I smiled and moved to sit on the bed.
"Funny" he looked down at me with a serious expression, and I looked back up with a sweet smile.
Reaching with an outstretched hand, I gestured for him to join me. With a sigh, Draco resignedly walked towards me. We had been doing the same thing since the first night at Bulgaria, so he knew the routine by now. Already in his pyjamas as well, Draco, walking past me, got into bed. Giving him a look I scoot up on the bed, closer to him. Draco watched as I lay down next to him. Taking a second to readjust us, he moved me closer until I was resting against his chest. Feeling comfortable, I smiled up at him.
"I know I always say this, but you are very comfortable" I cuddled closer to him. Draco ran a hand through my hair.
"Tell me again, why you have to do this?" he asked, but didn't push me away. I didn't answer.
The first night I had at least attempted to sleep on my own… but I couldn't. No matter how many times I tried it, there was no way to get past the nightmare. It happened anytime I went out of the country. That was part of the reason I had stopped joining my father on his business trips, I never got a good night's rest. It was also the main reason I had invited him to visit Vik with me. I heard Draco sigh at my lack of an answer and rubbed my arm instead. He already knew the reason apparently. Draco was right when he said that place had messed with my head. Any time we were away from home…
We were away from home.
"Draco" I called, sitting up suddenly. If we were far from home, then I could finally tell him.
"What?" he mumbled, staying where he lay on the bed.
I let out a sigh. This was the time to tell him. It was the perfect opportunity to tell him. We were away from home, away from anyone who may want to do me or my family harm. I trusted Draco, I knew that. I had to tell him, about what I discovered in Albania. Nikolai said that he didn't want us to be overheard, and I had already checked the corridor… This would be a perfect time as any.
"What is it? Just say it already" Draco urged, finally sitting up with me. With a tired look he glanced down at me. His expression was curious but behind that lay a tone of concern. It was sweet. With a groan, I looked down at the sheets between us.
"Why is your room bigger than mine?" I half heartedly whined to him.
"If you have a problem with that then take it up with Krum, not me. You're the one who dragged me across the continent" he mimicked my tone but it was obvious he knew I didn't really mean it.
"So then I should get the bigger room" I insisted.
"What does it matter? You sleep in here, anyway" Draco reminded me.
"It matters because I should have the bigger room" I gave him a look.
"It's just a room."
"If it's just a room, then I should have it."
"Alright, enough with the room" Draco snapped at me. "Would you just say what you actually want to say! What's up with you today? Are you finally being a decent person and feeling guilty about all that you're making me do?"
"No, it's not that" I shook my head simply.
"Of course not" Draco let out a sigh. "So then, what is it?"
"Draco…" I began, and took hold of his hand. He frowned back at me, still confused. "Listen, I want to take advantage of the fact we're away from home. I want to have a talk."
"Another one of your talks—"
"I'm serious" I interrupted, squeezing his hand. Draco looked down at it, then back up at me, waiting.
"Go on, then" he called, after my pause. I nodded and let out a sigh.
"I want to have a talk with you, a real, serious talk. No jokes, no anything that diminishes the value of our words. Do you understand me?" I asked with a look. Draco gave me a nod and, as a result I nodded too. "I… Well… Ugh, I don't know how to start this."
"Whatever it is, just say it" Draco insisted. Right… he was right.
"I know that we tell each other everything, that is one of my favorite parts of our relationship. We have an open outlet for anything we want to bring up. But, sometimes…" I made a noise, unable to find any words that would suit the situation as I wanted. It was harder than I had initially thought. But… Maybe it would be easier if I started the conversation with a broader statement. "Look, have you… ever kept something from me?"
"What do you mean?" Draco asked seriously. It seemed to be working so far, so I continued.
"Have you ever kept something from me? Some kind of secret. Something that, while you knew I would understand, you have never said it to my face?" I asked, looking over to him.
Once I glanced at his face I noticed he wasn't looking back at me. I kept my expression, curious as to why he had turned away. Still, he seemed to be glancing over at anything he could around me, even taking a moment to stare at the sheets between us. Draco looked torn. He seemed concerned just as I had been when deciding whether to tell him about this. There was something he was keeping from me. I let go of his hand.
"Well?" I asked, when he didn't say anything.
"Why are you asking, when you obviously already know" he called back in a much different tone. Draco let go of me and got up from the bed, moving to sit on the edge of it. If I wasn't sure before then I was now; he was hiding something. My curiosity peaked.
"Humor me" I continued, moving to sit just behind him. Draco bent his head, letting out a sigh before turning to me.
"It just happened, alright? You can't hold me responsible for something I didn't even want to happen."
"I won't, so just say it" I insisted, wanting him to say it.
He didn't answer right away. Draco kept thinking to himself. Slowly scooting closer to him, I began to lean against his back. But instead of letting me hug him, he stood pushing me back. Falling against the bed I gave him a grunt. Not looking too concerned with me Draco frowned in my direction. Quickly he ran his hand across his face and looked down at me on the bed with a sullen expression.
"Why?" he asked quietly. "Why are you insisting I say this out loud?"
"Because things like this need to be said out loud" I partly answered. It wasn't entirely the reason, but it was probably still true. "Words are words, what matters is the meaning you put behind them. If you say it aloud you'll feel better."
"I won't" he shook his head.
"Draco" I insisted but he continued to shake his head at me.
"It won't help."
"It might."
"It won't!"
"Just say it!"
"I'm in love with you, alright!" Draco snapped angrily, looking down at me. "I'm in love with you, Kitty. There, happy? I said it. So what now? How will that help? How does it change anything when you already knew? Tell me. How can it possibly help."
"Draco" I gave him a sigh, sitting up on the bed. He frowned back but didn't say anything, just watched me. Waiting another second, I let out a frown. "Deedee, I told you I wanted to have a serious conversation. I don't have time for your jokes."
"Joke—" he started but stopped himself suddenly. His eyes widened slightly and the look he was giving me changed. "You… That's not what you wanted to talk about, was it?"
"Talk about what? That you're 'in love' with me?" I asked, making air-quotes at the phrase. "I told you I wanted to have a serious conversation—"
"I am being serious" he interrupted, giving me an even tone. I rolled my eyes at him.
"Gee, I guess I must have missed that very important fact about my best friend in the nearing decade that we've known each other. Love isn't something that can just be looked over like that."
"I guess you did" Draco said softly.
Giving him a frown, I crossed my arms. I made it clear I didn't want to make jokes but he was insisting. His face remained serious, keeping to his joke. Even as I continued to look at his face his expression remained steady. Draco's look didn't falter. I stopped in a pause. By now he would have been admitting to his lie, or at least his face would be. But he wasn't. The look on his face remained set and fixed on me. It wasn't trying to trick me or lie. It was just… there, waiting patiently. I set my arms down.
Taking a second, I thought about earlier in the day. Vik had brought up a point I hadn't put much thought in before. I was always tasked with figuring out exactly what Draco was thinking but, if I were to misunderstand something, who would be the one to tell me? I had never doubted my ability to read what he was feeling but if I ever did, no one would be there to correct me… When he had gotten drunk he had gotten angry when I didn't understand just what he meant by saying he loved me. I had dismissed that along with his other drunken babble but… Even George had seen it, always making it a point to distrust us spending time together. Though that didn't justify his behavior, I could see now where he was coming from. He had seen something in his behavior that I never had. That, if it wasn't for that slip, I probably never would have…
"Draco—" I tried, but my voice caught. I cleared my throat and tried one more time. "Draco, tell me you're joking."
"If I did, would that make you feel better?" he asked with a small smile. I shook my head at him.
"No, it wouldn't" I admitted.
Draco gave me a shrug and turned away, looking at something at a distance. I turned my attention down. He was serious. He meant what he was saying. He meant it when he said he loved me, and not in the way I had always pictured it. Hugging my knees to my chest I let out a small moan. Out of all the possible scenarios I had imagined for his answer, this had not been one of them. Carefully, I watched him, waiting for him to turn back. When he did, Draco gave me a frown. I gave him a small frown back, not knowing why that was necessary. Not that it wasn't deserved, but apparently everything was going over my head. Knowing I didn't understand he let out a sigh.
"Stop that."
"Stop what?"
"That look" Draco's frown deepened. "Stop giving me that look, like I'm some lost puppy or something."
"I'm not looking at you like that" I argued, but knew that I probably was. Draco rolled his eyes at me.
"See, this is exactly why I didn't want to tell you" he grumbled a reply. "It wouldn't mean anything and it wouldn't change anything. All that would happen is make things weird between us, and make you feel guilty about all of this."
"You think I should feel guilty?" I asked, readjusting myself against my knees.
"No, I don't" he called down strictly. "But you will, if you don't already. Because, somehow, you manage to make everything about you. Because, maybe, you should have seen it coming. Because, maybe, you did something that made me feel this way. Because I would only feel this way because you made me."
"So you do think I'm guilty."
"Oh my god, no I don't" he raised his voice at me. At that he paused, looking at me for another second before shaking his head. "See, there it is, I'm trying to make you feel better now."
"I'm sorry" I raised my voice back. "I… I don't know how to respond to this. I've never thought of you in that way before."
"And I really appreciate that" Draco called back with sarcasm. I gave him a sigh.
"That's not what I meant. It's just—I never think about anyone that way from the start. That's not my first thought when I meet someone. I'm not Daphne" I went on, making him smile down at me.
"That's true" Draco nodded. "I think I spoke to her twice before Hogwarts yet she still figured it out, long before you did."
For a moment, we exchanged a look. He looked tired, and something told me that didn't have much to do with the time of day. Draco ran a hand through his hair and walked back to the bed again. He pulled the sheets up, enough to cover his place. Still not saying a word he sat down. I stayed where I was as Draco slumped himself back against the headboard. With that, he closed his eyes, and began to ignore me.
"How long have you felt this way?" I asked quietly after a moment. He didn't answer right away, making me wonder if my words had been too quiet. But, after another second, he spoke.
"I don't know" Draco let out a breath. He opened his eyes but only stared upwards at the ceiling. "I lost count. Also depends on when you consider someone actually capable of that level of feelings. Let's just say, it's been a while."
"Why didn't you say anything sooner?"
"I told you," he sighed, sounding even more tired than before, "it wouldn't change anything. You've said it yourself, you've never thought about me in that way before."
"I said I've never thought of anyone—"
"I know" he interrupted. I looked down, not knowing how I could respond to that. Draco let out a sigh and stretched a hand to me. Gingerly, he placed it on my knee. I turned to look at him but once again he had turned to face away from me. "Just out of morbid curiosity… Would you ever consider seeing yourself with someone like me?"
"I don't know… I love you, you know that. But it's different" I mumbled, noting how strange it felt to have him so close to me now. With that thought in mind, I let out a sigh. "Not that… maybe? I don't know."
"Now don't get my hopes up too much" Draco gave me a smirk.
"No, I didn't mean to—"
"I'm kidding, fuck" Draco looked over to me, letting out a sound. He gave a pat to my knee before letting go of it. "Are you going to be this difficult to talk to from now on?"
"I'm sorry."
I looked over at him carefully. He was trying to act tough but I knew him better than that… or at least I thought I did. But I was sure that this was still bothering him. He hadn't been ready to tell me this and, maybe, he never would have been ready. But we needed to talk this through, if not now then when? I had wanted to talk here because the idea of having that discussion felt less awful here than back home. Maybe the same could apply to him. Giving myself an internal sigh, I tried to keep the conversation going.
"Is this why you hate George so much?"
"No" he shook his head, but gave me a small smile. "Not entirely at least. I would hate that kind of scum regardless of whether you were acquainted or not."
"I don't believe you."
"Yeah, well, we've already established you can't read me as well as you thought you could" Draco argued. At that I couldn't help but turn my head down at him.
"I guess I can't."
There was a moment of silence between us. It wasn't the usual silence we shared, that which showed we didn't need to say anything. This was a different kind of silence, one of not knowing what to say. I couldn't think of one thing that would suit the situation. This wasn't the sort of thing that happened between us. I didn't like it. Draco gave me a sigh.
"Do you understand why I kept this from you now?" he asked, breaking the heavy silence between us.
"I do" I called, again giving him a nod. "I still wish you had told me sooner."
"It wouldn't have made a difference" he replied, in a low voice.
I moved to sit closer to him, watching his expression. Gently, I rested my head on his shoulder before letting out a sigh. As I did I paused, taking a closer note of the position we were in. I hadn't thought much of it before but he was right, I was making him console me when it should have been the other way around. Yet, before I could pull away from him, a hand stopped me. Draco wrapped an arm around my shoulders, placing a hand on my head. Gently, he began to stroke my head in his usual comforting manner. I let out a breath and moved closer.
He was a sweet boy. I didn't know why he had kept this to himself for so long. It was strange. Most of all, it was giving me a headache. Years together, nearly a decade of knowing each other, and I wasn't able to notice. I was an idiot. Viktor had known, George had known, and apparently even Daphne was able to see how he felt when his own best friend couldn't. And at a moment when he was so vulnerable, when having been tricked into admitting his feelings, here he was, comforting me. I looked up to find him staring out of the window. He wasn't even attempting to get me to console him, he was just here for me. He had always been so thoughtful of me but it seemed I hadn't paid him much mind. I knew I wasn't a good person but I had at least thought I had treated him right. Yet, having realized all of this…
"Stop it" Draco complained, making me jump a little at the sound. I turned to him again to find he was looking down at me.
"Sorry."
"I told you already to quit it. Having you fidgeting like this next to me isn't helping, you know" he continued to protest, turning back to the window. I pouted a bit but slid a little closer.
"I am sorry" was all I could think to say in return.
This whole thing was unknown territory. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to react to this. When George had told me how he felt it was a surprise more than anything else. I cared about him, sure, but we had only really known each other for a handful of years. But with Draco… Draco and I had known each other for a majority of our lives. He was my best friend, he was my closest friend. He was family. Sure we had fights, some worse than others, but we were always there when the other needed it. I had been through so much with him… To have known someone for so long yet have missed something so important...
"So," Draco called suddenly, making me jump again, "if you didn't know then why did you ask?"
"I was just using a hypothetical but, when you brought it up, I thought it would be a good idea for both of us to get something off our chests" I called back dully.
"And how's that working out for you?"
"Don't rub it in" I complained, hitting his arm. Draco let out a chuckle. I smiled at him then let out a sigh. "It's not going to be weird, right?"
"That depends on you" he replied bleakly.
"Why is that?"
"I've been doing just fine with how things are. I would have no problem getting back to that" he said, but I wasn't sure I believed that. "But, how you choose to take this news… that's up to you."
I gave the comment some thought. Things could be normal; we could go back to normal. If he had truly kept this for so long, there could be a way to manage it. We had established a system for dealing with our relationships already… Wait.
"You have a girlfriend" I blurted out suddenly.
"Yes, I think you two have even met before" Draco called back with thick sarcasm.
"Shut up, you know what I mean" I gave him a look. "Why are you dating Pansy?"
"I've told you before; you hate her, I don't. I like Pansy" Draco gave me a shrug. "I wouldn't say I'm in love with her or anything, but we have fun"
"Have you told her that…" I began but couldn't find the proper words. Not being able to find them still I merely pointed between us. Draco gave me a smirk.
"That I'm in love with you? It's not exactly the sort of thing I discuss with her on a daily basis. But, if you're asking if she knows, then yes, she does. Most everyone does, actually. Generally, people aren't as dense as you" he noted, poking at my forehead.
"I'm not dense, I—" I swatted his hand away, before momentarily pausing, realizing something else. "Oh my god, is this why she's always freaking out whenever I get within ten feet of you?"
"Pretty much."
"And here I thought she was just insane" I mumbled, before giving that a second thought. "I mean, I'm sure she still is, but this explains a few things."
"That makes, what, four epiphanies for far?"
"Shut up" I swatted at him again.
Draco gave me a grin as I pulled back. I looked up at him as he leaned himself into a comfortable position. The smile he wore was sweet, caring as he always was. This didn't have to be weird. Things didn't have to be so different between us. Of course I wasn't stupid, I knew it wouldn't be the same, but there was a chance that the change wasn't so drastic. We could be, if only somewhat, like before. I took his arm and leaned closer to him.
"You should have told me sooner."
"Would that have changed anything?" Draco muttered the question.
"It would have helped me feel less terrible about not knowing" I grumbled at him. Draco gave me a small laugh. He took his arm out of my grip and wrapped it around me. Leaning in, he kissed my forehead.
"And we return, full circle, back to you."
"You're right, I do that a lot" I scrunched my face, noting that. He chuckled again and nodded his head.
"So, since we're back on you, why did you want to 'hypothetically' talk? Was there something else you thought I did?" Draco asked curiously. I shook my head.
"I… don't really want to talk about it now" I avoided a proper answer. The conversation was turning serious again, just as we had somewhat overcome the previous topic.
"Selfish brat" he grumbled at me. Looking at him, I smiled a little. "What, so you make me reveal my best kept secret, and you won't even spill yours?"
"No one made you tell me" I grumbled back. I gave him a look but he smiled at me instead. "I just think one heavy secret is enough for one night."
"Come on, you obviously wanted to get whatever this is off your chest" he said, guessing correctly. Draco rubbed my arm comfortingly. I looked over and up at him. "Well?"
"It's… I…" my words were stuttered, not knowing how I should start. Slowly, I let out a breath. Turning away from him, I looked down at our hands instead. "There's something I've never told you… I've been keeping this from you for a very long time now…"
"Obviously, seeing as that's how you started this whole thing" Draco rolled his eyes at me. Seeing that I hadn't joined into his little joke his expression turned a little more serious. "How long?"
"Eight, maybe nine years" I mumbled. For a moment, I paused, thinking of my words carefully. My grip tightened slightly around his arm. But before I struggled too long with the thought, he had already pieced it together.
"It's about that trip, isn't it?" he asked, and I gave him a nod. Draco let out a sigh. It seemed that, to some degree, he already knew. He had always been good at reading me, even though I had always thought it as the other way around. Draco moved his hand to my head. Pulling me gently towards him, he leaned me against his side. His voice turned soft as he spoke again. "Go on, then."
Even as he said that, I stayed quiet a moment longer. Draco waited patiently, not rushing me. It was sweet of him. He was a sweet boy and deserved to know. This was the proper time to tell him… I needed to tell him. I took in a breath before slowly letting it out.
"Do you remember what I told you… about that day?"
"You got lost" he stated bleakly, cautious of the subject. "You said you went too far into the forest and stumbled onto those things… in that hole."
That had been all I was allowed to tell him. During the trip I had wandered away, getting bored with all the talks and meetings my father had forced me to sit through. But I had been careless. The darkness of the forest, combined with the fact I was unfamiliar with the area, caused me to get lost. I wasn't watching where I was going and slipped into a ditch. The ravine had been too deep to simply step out of, or even climb. I was forced to follow it further in, towards where I thought I could find an easier access point out of the place. Instead what I found was a nest of snakes. At the time I had found it a bit frightening, as anyone would have. But, whenever I thought back to it now, I knew… They had been waiting for me.
"Go on" Draco called softly, pulling me slightly closer to him. I shook the thought out of my head and tried to recall things a little clearer.
"Well, what I said… it wasn't everything" I said softly, but knew he heard it clearly. "I lied about how much time I actually spent down there."
"Long enough to nearly scare you to death" Draco mentioned, as if he had figured as much. I took another second before answering.
"Long enough to have a conversation."
Draco gave me a confused look but I ignored it for the moment. Rushing things would only cause more questions in the end. Instead I took in a breath and continued the story.
"I was terrified in that moment, of course, but I held myself together" I went on, still not turning to look at him. "They could have very well been venomous but I had always done my research before travel. Most snakes will leave people alone, unless they are otherwise threatened, and I was of little to no threat to them. I wasn't imposing, and they outnumbered me drastically, so I thought it would be fine for me to just turn around. To walk back the way I had come and hope there was another exit on that side…"
"But you didn't" he added, knowing enough of the story to be sure of that.
"No, I didn't" I conceded in a low voice. Taking a second to clear my throat, I tried again. "The ravine had been too deep to leave so I had been forced to follow its trail. Thinking about it, if I went back that would have taken me twice as long and it wasn't helping that the sun had set long before. So, I took into mind everything I had read up on and tried to make my way around them. That was when… That's when I heard the voice."
"The tour guide" Draco called expecting to be right again. Instead of correcting him directly, I continued.
"I looked up at the edge of the ditch, expecting to see him there, but he wasn't around. No one was, not even the shadow of a person" I shook my head, not allowing myself to get too deep into the memory. "That was when I noticed the voice didn't sound familiar."
"It didn't sound like someone you had already met?"
"It didn't sound… human."
That comment was enough to stop Draco from attempting to contribute, and instead focused on what I had to say.
"You know I've never been one to scare easily" I went on. "I'm not stupid, I'll walk away from a dangerous situation if at all possible, but I won't be intimidated so quickly. I had been taught by my father at a young age, studied with my brother during and while away from school, and I always made sure to study before every trip. But… when I was in that ravine…"
"It's alright" he encouraged softly but, also, he sounded curious.
"There was no one in sight, but I heard mocking" my voice fell again. "It hadn't just been calling out with noise, it was talking to me. I looked around as much as I could but I couldn't find anyone or anything else that could have been hiding in the area, even after my eyes had adjusted. The voice was clear, it couldn't be far, but I didn't see it. Yet instead of showing itself it just kept talking, kept mocking me, saying those things…"
"Who was it?" Draco frowned, not liking this part of the story. Of course I knew he would have reacted this way, that was why I hadn't originally told him the details. He would have wanted to know the rest and then I would have no choice but to admit it.
"Draco…" I said softly. He continued to frown but looked gently at me. I had to just say it. "Draco, I'm a Parselmouth."
There was a moment silence after that. At first I wasn't sure if it was because he didn't believe me or because he did. Either way, I let the quiet sit between us. Any time I had considered what would happen when I told him I was never really sure of how he would react. Normally I would have assumed he would have gotten curious and asked questions, or become angry that I hadn't mentioned it sooner. Yet, given a very recent revelation of his own kept secret, he wasn't saying much. Instead he looked off, thoughtful. Finally Draco let out a long, jagged breath, before looking back at me.
"Well… now I know how you felt about my thing" he called, breaking the silence.
"I said no jokes" I lectured, but appreciated the attempt to change the tone.
"I can't help that I'm hilarious" he quipped, but kept a serious expression on his face. Draco looked down at me, now a little worried.
"I told you it was a heavy secret" I nodded at him, understanding the expression.
"You weren't kidding" he mumbled. "I would ask you why you didn't tell me sooner, but that would be a stupid question."
"I wanted to, but I couldn't."
"Why are you telling me now?" Draco asked, a curious look behind his eyes.
"I always wanted to tell you, of course, but Nikolai made me swear not to bring this up to you" I admitted.
"He never did like me" Draco grumbled, seeming to have accepted that fact.
"He's just cautious" I argued, but he didn't seem to buy it. "I wasn't even supposed to know, but that trip made me realize some things. And, after that, my parents had a little more difficulty hiding the fact."
"So they know too?"
"It's a family secret, I guess you could say" I nodded. "They tried to keep a few good things from us, to protect us I guess, but most of them we've found out. When our parents found out we knew they made us swear never to tell anyone. Personally, I thought they were overreacting, but Nikolai thought the same. After the trip we had a talk, where he told me he actually agreed with their decision, making me make the same promise to him. I trusted him, so I kept it quiet, even from you."
"So why tell me now?" Draco asked again. I gave him a hug.
"I needed you to know" I said quietly. "I trust you. You're one of so few people in my life that I can say that to, and I didn't like that I was keeping this from you. I talked to Nikolai and managed to convince him that I should tell you, or at least that I could. He did make me swear not to rush it, but I figured a trip out of the country would be a handy place to reveal some secrets."
"It seems to be working so far" he stated.
"Draco" I called back seriously. "I need you to promise me that you won't repeat this to anyone. And I do mean anyone."
"Of course I won't" Draco suddenly gave me a scowl. "Do you really think—"
"I know" I interrupted, before he took too much offense. 'I know. Just… I just need to hear it."
"I swear to you, I won't share this to anyone" Draco reassured me. I gave him a nod.
"Thank you."
After that we were quiet for a moment. I had told him. That was good. At least we had both gotten something off our chests. That was good too, I suppose. Even so, the heaviness of the conversation, it made it difficult to see the good in the revelation. The silence was deep, neither of us could say much. Finally, Draco let out a sigh.
"You know, I have something to tell you about that trip too" Draco called down to me in a serious tone. I gave him a frown, not knowing what he was referring to.
"What is it?" I asked slowly. Draco let out a sigh before giving me a long look.
"I lost the gift you brought back for me. It lasted me about a week."
"Are you serious? I asked, letting out a small smile. At that, Draco gave me an exaggerated groan.
"It was a stupid gift, anyway. Who goes off on a cross-continental vacation and only brings back a pen? What was I going to do with a pen? I was seven!" he snapped.
I gave im a smile, which turned into a giggle, and soon I couldn't stop laughing. Draco gave me a smile as I continued to laugh. Reaching out, I wrapped my arms around him, pulling us closer. He let me, placing a hand gently on my head. I opened my mouth to say something but paused. It took a moment but eventually I decided to say it anyway.
"I love you, Deedee."
"And I tolerate you too" he nodded back to me, making me give him a smile. "Still, that's only sometimes. You are a pain in my ass, you know that?"
"Oh, you sweet talker, you" I chimed, and held him a little tighter. Draco rubbed my back lightly, nuzzling himself against my hair.
"Yeah, well" he muttered, pulling me closer to him on the bed.
"I'm glad you came with me" I told him. Draco pressed against me and let out a slow breath.
"I love you too."
The two of us settled into bed, but I couldn't stop thinking about what we had both said. If I hadn't started this conversation with such a broad statement, how long would he have kept this from me? It was obviously at the forefront of his mind if he had immediately thought of that topic as the one I was trying to bring up. He had said it himself, it was his best kept secret. But how long had he been planning to leave it a secret? And, now that he had said it, would things end up different between us? I let out an internal groan at the amount of questions running through my head. Instead I turned to Draco, needing to say something before either of us fell asleep.
"I do love you, you know that, right?" I asked softly. Draco gave me a soft chuckle.
"I know, but it's not the same" he answered in an airy tone.
He moved his face down to me. Pulling me up by my waist, Draco brought me closer to him on the pillow. He leaned in to kiss my forehead, before settling us into a hug. With a long breath, he leaned against me and into our embrace.
"But… whatever you have… I'll take it."