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Chapter 27 What Have We Here?

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Oscar Levant

Alexis left Dumbledore's office feeling like a chastised first year. Dumbledore had been kind but firm in advising her not to let her pranks get so out of hand. It seemed as if the Magic 8 Balls had ended up in the Department of Mysteries with the Unspeakables asking them complex questions and getting frustrated at the simple answers that the mystical orbs were now back to giving.

The charms that Alexis and Snape had placed on the balls had been temporary and by the time the Aurors had collected them, the charms were long expired and the balls were back to being nothing but Muggle toys. Dumbledore, in the nicest possible way of course, had made her feel bad about Professor Trelawney. He had collected memories from various faculty and placed them in a Pensieve. He had shown her the scene in the Divination Tower; it hadn't been a pretty sight.

Professor Trelawney had tried barricading the trapdoor with as many of her poufs and tables as she had been able to move. She had also attempted to hide as many of the balls as possible. Even going so far as to enlarge her bra and insert one ball in each cup. When Alexis saw that she had winced in sympathy for the Auror who had been required to retrieve those balls, although that was the only part of the search that Sybil had seemed to enjoy. Alexis had also been impressed with Trelawney's ingenuity in trying to hide as many of the orbs as possible. She had even, badly, transfigured one of them into a cat. The problem was the cat was black with a figure eight in white fur on its back: and instead of hairballs it kept coughing up tiny little cubes with predictions on them. Luckily the predictions had all been innocuous if slightly insulting. While observing the vision, Alexis had been able to read one that an Auror picked up, "The fleas of a thousand camels will infest your crotch if you continue to screw up everyone's day
and your arms will be too short to scratch if you don't just go away."

Sybil might have been able to keep the one she had transfigured into a teapot if she hadn't forgotten which one it was and tried to brew tea in it. The boiling water she had poured over the tealeaves had steamed up and formed words. Even then she might have been able to keep it if she hadn't gotten so excited trying to read the words and drawing attention to what was happening.

Alexis grinned in admiration as Sybil drew herself up and tightened her shawl around herself and closed her eyes as though in the throes of a vision, "STOP! You know not the power of that which you seek to bind with your petty ways. Only a trained Seer can fully handle such magical force and power," Sybil cracked an eyelid to see how this was going over: she was being totally ignored. "I see a vision, it is of…" again she cracked an eye as she quickly counted, "four, yes four men. They are writhing in unspeakable agony. The great mystical powers have unleashed their displeasure upon them." Sybil was peeking again. Her voice took on a harder edge, "They are writhing I said, writhing, in unspeakable AGONY. Look here, you blind buffoons, you wouldn't know a true prediction if one came up and bit you in the arse. Leave my balls alone!"

The four ministry officials just kept cleaning the Divination Tower of all the mystical magical orbs. Professor Trelawney went up to one of the older Aurors and placing a hand on his arm, "Please, can't you find it in your heart to leave me just one of these orbs." With a gentle squeeze, "I would be so very grateful. I'm sure the two of us could find somewhere to discuss this in private," another squeeze and a definite invasion of personal space. "Is it hot in here? Or is it just you?" Sybil gave him what she thought was a sultry look as she let her shawl slip from one shoulder.

The Auror had a look of blind panic on his face as he backed away from her. One of the other Aurors saw what was happening and came to his rescue dragging him away from the desperately clutching witch. "I may be a little older, but that just means I know more ways of being grateful. Come back here and bargain with me you coward!"

Alexis had wanted to close her eyes as the finale had unfolded. The Aurors had collected all of Sybil's balls and were starting to cart them toward the trap door. Sybil had thrown herself in front on them and started predicting additional horrible deaths for anyone who left her tower with a mystical orb in their possession. When that didn't even cause them to pause she had started throwing teacups at them, being careful to only grab the blue patterned ones. The Aurors had been pretty restrained up until she started attacking them with the teacups. They cast protective charms and started throwing hexes and low-level jinxes at her. Trelawney was surprisingly spry, Alexis noted, probably from having to climb that silver ladder to get to and from her tower, and managed to duck the spells cast at her while continuing to throw teacups.

The battle of the blue teacups came to an ignoble end when Professor McGonagall arrived and managed to freeze the cups and shock the Aurors into a cease-fire. Professor Trelawney collapsed into a heap of spangled shawl and robes. The Aurors turned their back on her to return to their duty of removing the magic balls. Their distraction allowed Sybil one final rally. She threw herself on top of the box containing her balls and was trying to cast a permanent sticking charm onto herself. The Aurors managed to disarm her before she could finish the charm leaving only her robes and shawl stuck to the box. It took one Auror holding the container and three others pulling on her, while all the time she was kicking and screaming, crying and wailing for them not to take her magic balls. With a great ripping noise, her robes were torn from her body leaving her in her enlarged bra and knickers and revealing exactly where she had tried to hide the last two balls.

The most junior Auror was ordered to remove the balls from her bra, "Stan, I know you don't want to do this, but when you signed on for Auror duty you knew it would be a dangerous and ugly job. Now be a wizard and do your duty. Remove those balls from that bra!"

Stan, with a very determined look on his face headed toward Sybil, but he just couldn't make himself reach into the bra. His trembling hand moved toward her chest but at the last minute he turned away with a groan, "I can't do it boss. I just can't reach in there and remove the balls."

"Stan, you have got to do this. Every rookie has to prove himself and this is your opportunity. We're behind you one hundred percent."

Stan heard one of the other Aurors mutter, "WAY behind you, like in the other room behind you."

"Boss, will you promise to Obliviate when I complete the mission," Stan begged.

"Yes Stan, I personally will remove the memory for you," with a look around at the other two Aurors, "and the memory from anyone else of the sight of Stan having to remove the balls." There were grateful nods from the other two wizards.

With her final two balls removed from her bra, Sybil surrendered and gave up the fight, pulled the tattered remnants of her robes and dignity around her and allowed Poppy to administer a calming draught and put her to bed for the rest of the day.

Dumbledore next showed her scenes from what the students had endured from the Aurors handling of their balls.

The Gryffindor Quidditch team were working together to keep their balls from the Aurors hands. Fred and George were running a distracting format around the Auror who was trying to collect the Gryffindor balls. When the Auror would get too close to anyone holding a ball, it would be passed to another student. The Gryffindors might have actually had a chance to distract the Aurors enough to actually secret a few of the orbs, but Peeves had joined in the game. Peeves was catching the balls as the students were trying to pass them and then hurling them at the Auror. Peeves had remarkably good aim; he scored four times out of five with a direct hit to the Aurors head or stomach. It looked as if the ones he missed were deliberate. Those burst upon impact and showered the Auror with the black colored water contained inside the sphere. By the time Peeves had finished with the man he looked like a charcoal drawing that had been left in the rain.

The Slytherins tried to bribe the Aurors while the Hufflepuffs sniffled and handed over their balls. Alexis watched in surprise as Hermione Granger led the Aurors to the Durmstrang ship. It appeared as if the mystical balls had not been limited to just the Hogwarts' students. Alexis almost had a stroke when she saw Hermione reach a hand under Viktor Krum's robes and start groping around up there. Krum was trying to grab her hands but she was too fast for him. Alexis watched as Hermione stopped moving her hands briefly, flushed bright red and then continued before letting out a disapproving sniff and withdrawing a black orb and handing it to the Aurors.

Alexis vowed to herself after witnessing the events in Dumbledore's Pensieve, to never let another prank get away from her again.

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Amber was as big as a baby whale. At least that is what she told anyone who would listen to her. Alexis had snickered at her and informed her that she didn't know what big was. Try having twins and then they would compare notes.

Darla had moved in with Amber and Remus to help out during the last weeks of pregnancy. Remus didn't want Amber for all intents and purposes being alone when he was under the curse of the full moon.

Alexis and the Hogwarts ladies showed up at Amber's house one Saturday afternoon. Aurora and Cassandra joined them and they had a wonderful time throwing Amber a baby shower. Narcissa had sent her regrets in a stiffly formal note but had also gotten Alexis to deliver a beautiful bassinet set for Amber.

Minerva asked, "Have you and Remus decided on a name for the baby?"

Amber smiled, "Cynthia Arielle Lupin."

Aurora caught her breath, "That is beautiful, moon lion," and sighed.

There was a resounding number of "ahhs" of approval from all the ladies present.

Alexis stayed and helped Amber and Aurora clean up from the party. Or rather, Alexis and Aurora cleaned up while Amber sat with her feet propped up and a plate of leftover goodies balanced on the mound that was her stomach.

"You will have enough diapers to last you at least three weeks," Alexis teased looking at the mountain of diapers that took up the top three shelves of the closet and most of the space under the changing table.

Aurora looked over at Alexis and smiled mistily, "Dear, you shouldn't make fun of Amber because you will soon be back in the same situation."

"When?" Alexis groaned.

"When the time is right," was Aurora's unhelpful answer.

"Bullocks," Alexis cursed while Amber laughed at her.

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The weeks were flying by and soon it would be time for the second task for the tournament. Valentine's Day was overshadowed by the fact that in ten days the champions would be facing another challenge.

Snape had given Alexis earrings to match the ruby necklace he had given her for Valentine's last year. Alexis' gift to Snape was a simple card delivered in the privacy of their rooms and a promise for later that night.

Snape remained on edge the rest of the day and the sound of owl wings had him reaching for his wand. However, Alexis stuck to their agreement and there was no repeat of last year's pranks.

The boys were crawling now and scooting along the floor. Snape and Alexis had taken one whole weekend to childproof their rooms after Nathair had almost eaten one of the essay's Snape had just graded.

Amber was due any day now and Poppy had agreed to deliver their baby at Hogwarts instead of Amber going to St. Mungo's. Alexis had agreed to coach her if Remus was unable to and had loaned her Star so that she could get a message quickly to the castle when it was time for the baby to be delivered.

Remus was a nervous wreck. If he wasn't hovering over Amber checking on her every few moments he was fussing in the nursery. Amber had taken to sending him on spurious errands just to get him out of the house. Darien had been a good sport about trying to distract Remus as much as possible.

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On February 18th, Snape was in the middle of class when Alexis stuck her head in the door to signal to him that Amber had gone into labor. Snape had glared at her exaggerated attempts to mime what was going on and had finally told her, "Madame Snape would you kindly stop hovering in my doorway engaging in gymnastics and come inside and tell me what it is you require?"

Alexis laughed at his insult and hurried up to his desk so she could whisper to him, "Amber is in the infirmary, the baby should be here anytime now. If you need me that is where I will be."

"Where is the wolf?" Snape sneered.

"I'm not sure where Remus is," Alexis was in a hurry to get to Amber.

"If he makes a nuisance of himself, send him here." Alexis looked startled. "I will use him as a guinea pig for my Seventh Year potions class," Snape smirked.

Alexis blew him a kiss to the amusement of the students and hurried out.

Arriving at the hospital wing, she found Amber bossing Poppy and Remus around in between contractions.

"Amber, darling," Alexis tried.

"What?" Amber snarled.

"Nothing dear, how about I get you some nice ice chips?" Alexis took a step back from the bed.

"Why would I want ice chips? I want this thing out of me NOW," Amber roared as another contraction hit her.

"And don't think you are ever coming near me again, wolfboy," Amber sent Remus a glare that Snape would have been proud of. "If you ever think I'm going through this again, you are insane. This is all your fault! One child, that is all we are having; ONE CHILD!"

Remus looked to Alexis for help, "Amber, let's get Poppy to cast the pain blocking charm," Alexis said in a soothing voice.

"Finally someone with a grain of brains in this place," Amber let out a groan as the contractions started coming faster.

Poppy quickly cast the charm and prepared for the delivery. In an amazingly short time, although no one dared say that to Amber, Cynthia Arielle arrived to the great joy of her mother and father.

Snape found his wife cooing over the new arrival when he brought Amber a large bunch of flowers and Cynthia a large stuffed snake.

"Thank you, Severus," Amber said as she pulled him down to kiss his check. "I want you to meet your goddaughter," and she pulled the pink blanket back so he could see the baby.

"Thank Merlin, she got your looks Amber," Snape said in remembrance of Remus' comments regarding his sons' noses. "Hopefully she also got your intelligence and charm."

"I contributed something," Remus protested, still too high on endorphins to do much more than grin.

"Yes, but hopefully the Doff genes will be dominant," Snape smirked.

Amber joined in, "Well I'm sure her little brother will take after his daddy."

"Little brother?" Remus asked cautiously.

"Oh yes Remus, I don't want to wait too long before we start trying for a little brother for Cynthia," Amber looked up from her adoration of her baby girl.

Remus had been married just long enough to know the safe answer, "Whatever you want, darling."

"Nice snake, Severus," Alexis smiled and leaned back against her husband.

"Funny I seem to recall you saying the exact same thing last night," Snape whispered against her ear. He delighted in the fact that he could still make her blush.

"Yes Severus, nice snake, but don't you think a lion would have been more appropriate?" Remus teased.

"I certainly hope not," Snape sneered. "My goddaughter will have every advantage: including knowing from the beginning which is the best house at Hogwarts."

"Of course my daughter will," Remus replied. "She will obviously be a Gryffindor."

Alexis was almost sure she was the only one who heard Snape's response, "Not if I can help it."

AN: MarkDarcy Ask and you shall receive…I gave you the scene with Trelawney and the Aurors. Hoped it met your expectations…or even better exceeded them.

JennSmith: Glad you enjoyed it. I have to admit that I am a Ginny/Draco fan.

GraceRichie: Thank you.

Ashibabi: I hope you were able to re-attach it…(refers to lmao) thanks for reading and especially for reviewing.

Melissa: Thanks again for keeping me straight.

Jonquillejaune: Glad I still have a few surprises for my readers.