Well, it only took three months, but I finally updated this story! I told you this will not be stopped!
PROLOGUE
The screen went static for a split second, and then an anchorman appeared with a picture of Lightning crushed by the trailer.
"Breaking news! Another death has occurred on the new already controversial show, Total Drama Domination!" The picture faded out. "This is strike two against the show. One more and we'll have to bring in…" The anchorman leaned his face against the camera and said, "...the fuzz."
At that moment, Alf appeared out of nowhere and started humping the camera. "Like me! Ha ha ha ha!"
"NO, ALF—!"
The screen cuts off after another round of static. The episode's feed takes over.
"Last time on Total Drama Domination," said Chris.
The camera shows Chris explaining the challenge to the campers at the top of the cliff.
"We added a slight change in our next canon challenge by having our contestants move the trailers down instead of up!"
The camera shows Lightning, Geoff, and Tyler riding their team's trailer down the cliff, causing it to crash and the former to die. It also shows the team discovering their trailer's equipment being badly damaged.
"Unfortunately, some people treated the cliff like an amusement park ride, and they, especially Lightning, saw what it was like for harsh reality to ensue," said Don.
The camera shows Devin arguing with his team, followed by Duncan jumping out of his team's trailer and talking smugly to Chris.
"Devin continued to butt heads with the rest of his team, while we had an unpleasant welcome back from Duncan, who snuck all the way from his house in northern Ontario to get back on this show," said Hawkeye.
The camera shows Sierra gasping, followed by Eva angrily talking to Ezekiel. We then see Duncan's licking Courtney's sandwich off her vagina.
"Ezekiel's loose lips got him in trouble again, and combined with Duncan's disgustingness, cost the Rhinoceri the challenge," said Chris.
The camera shows Eva arguing with her team, followed by her yelling at her team upon being eliminated.
"In the end however, Eva's short temper was more volatile, and she got eliminated," said Don.
The camera shows the hosts.
"Who will migrate up north next? Find out right now, right here, on TOTAL!" yelled Hawkeye.
"DRAMA!" yelled Chris.
"DOMINATION!" yelled all three hosts.
*cue intro*
The cast had already gathered at the mess hall. Rock whispered in Spud's ear, "raise your hand and say 'the teen beach flick challenge!'"
The hosts walked in, none of whom were in a good mood. Chris noticed Spud's hand being raised. "Yes Spud, what's your question?"
"The teen beach flick challenge!" said the obese rocker.
"Yes that's the next challenge, but as you can clearly see," he points at Lightning's casket covered by a Canadian flag banner. "We've got business to attend to." He signaled Chef, Don, and Hawkeye to lift the casket with him and said, "Lance, Amazing Grace please."
"Sure thing, nigga." The ghetto intern received a dirty look from the raven-haired host, forcing him to mutter a "sorry." He went to the corner of the mess hall, picked up the bagpipes from Max's funeral, and started playing the requested tune as the hosts carried Lightning's casket out of the mess hall with the rest of the cast following.
Brick sniffled. "He wasn't a bright member of our team, but our fallen soldier will be missed," he said softly. He then turned and noticed no one else even visibly cared. "WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOING?! SHOW YOUR RESPECT!" he demanded. Ernesto had to nudge the cadet to shut him up.
Unfortunately, Brick's meltdown took Chris and and Chef's mind off of where they were going, and they fell backwards into the ditch, causing some of the cast to gasp. The casket itself nailed both hosts in the crotch, causing both to cry out in pain.
Jo laughed. "Way to go, Brick for brains! You caused two of our hosts to fall into Lightning dolt's grave!" she taunted. Brick swung, only for Jo to grab his fist, causing him to go wide-eyed and wet himself. The latter did not go unnoticed by Jo, who started laughing again.
Chris and Chef were pulled back up by Hawkeye and Don. They were furious. "WHERE IS YOUR LACK OF RESPECT?!" screamed Don.
"YEAH, JO!" agreed Brick.
Did I say "agreed?" Silly me.
"I WAS REFERRING TO YOU, BRICK! YOU DON'T SCREAM AT FUNERALS!" A guilty and speechless Brick rubbed his forehead while averting eye contact with a smirking Jo.
MESS HALL
The hosts had calmed down after the funeral fuddle. They were wearing winter coats. "Can someone tell me what the next challenge would be? Someone other than Spud, who already answered?" As always, only Sierra raised her hand. "Yes Sierra."
"The teen beach flick challenge!"
"Correct! Here's your cookie!" He threw the fangirl her daily dose of chocolate chip cookie. "And before you ask why we're wearing interns coats...INTERNS! Wheel in the props, please!" The five interns ran outside, then wheeled in a giant tub filled with water, along with two panels of a wave backdrop, a surfboard, and bars suspending the surfboard. While they did this, Chris lowered the thermostat to -15°C while snickering.
Everyone but the hosts started shivering. "Yo, it's cold in here, nigga!" complained Lance.
"Yeah, don't care," said Hawkeye. "Anyways, just like in our second season, you guys will try and stay on the longest. The team with the longest combined total will have an advantage in the next part...building a sand castle!"
"Rhinoceri, since all of you remained quiet and courteous during the funeral, you get an advantage in the first part of the challenge," said Don. "Chef?" Chef ran out, and quickly came back in with winter jackets like the hosts, only blue instead of white. The Rhinoceri cheered as they put them on, while the Zebras groaned. Some of them glared at a guilty Brick, while Jo smirked and mimed a head being chopped off.
"We randomly selected the order you guys will be surfing...Ryan! You're up first, bro!"
The bulky dater stepped on the surfboard...and lost his balance, belly-flopping into the now frozen water before Chris could say "go." He screamed like a girl in pain.
"You have got to be kidding me!" Stephanie shouted in disbelief at her boyfriend as he left the pool. But she wasn't the only one angry.
"WHY is the water FROZEN?!" demanded Chris.
"I'm surprised it didn't freeze last time you did this challenge," retorted Millie.
"I did NOT tell you to freeze the water!"
"You set it to negative 15 degrees!"
"DO NOT TRY TO BLAME ME, BITCH!"
That did it. Millie charged at Chris, but he pushed her down to the ground. Chris then raised the thermostat to 35°C, quickly melting the icy pool. He then threw Millie into the water, then lowered the thermostat back to where it was before. "Any last words, chilly Millie?"
"My real first name is Tyler!" Millie said before the ice re-solidified.
"T-Tyler?!" cried Lindsay. "Tyler, no!" She knelt by the tub.
"Lindsay, wait! I'm right here!" said Tyler. But Lindsay paid no mind to him.
"INTERNS!" called Chris, not caring he just killed an intern. "Wheel the tub out, put the block of ice in the dumpster outside, and wheel it back in with a new tub of water!" The four remaining interns promptly did what they were told.
"Why did you set the thermostat to negative 15 degrees, Chris?" asked Chef.
"It was what we set it to in season two, was it not?!" Chris answered impatiently.
"Uhhh, we set it to 1.5 degrees, Chris."
Chris froze, then shrugged. "Oh…eh, close enough!" He regained his composure. "So Ryan couldn't stay on the board long enough for me to even say 'go,' so no points for the Rhinoceri yet!" Stephanie glared and "hmph'd" at her boyfriend, who looked down in defeat.
"Next up is Gerry!" said Hawkeye.
The old man stepped onto the board. "Ready?" asked Chris. He raised a handgun, but then Hawkeye cleared his throat off-screen. "What?" He then remembered what always happens when he fires guns, and he put his back in his pocket.
"Go!" Hawkeye shot an arrow, and the fans surrounding the pool started up, causing Gerry to shiver and his teeth to chatter, and he fell off after exactly five seconds. He landed hard on his back, causing him to cry out in pain as he submerged.
"Looks like the new backsplash has arrived!" joked Pete. Emma giggled, which did not go unnoticed by Noah.
CONFESSIONAL: What about the frontsplash? Or is it called forwardsplash? [1]
"Oh no; she's starting to laugh at other people's jokes!" said Noah worriedly. But then he turned a bit angry and said in a slightly quieter voice, "Snap out of it, Noah. A 21-year-old would never date someone triple their age." [2]
*STATIC*
"That's five seconds for the Rambunctious Rhinoceri!" said Don. "Next is Samey! I mean, Sammy."
"You can do it, sis!" cheered her twin sister as Sammy took her spot on the board. Hawkeye shot an arrow. The second born twin stayed on for 9.1 seconds before hitting the ice.
"Not bad," said Chris. "That's 14.1 seconds for the Rambunctious Rhinoceri. Now let's see how well Ella does!"
The singing angel took her spot on the board. Hawkeye fired an arrow, and Ella lasted 2.1 seconds before falling hard on her head, knocking her out. The team (and some of the other) gasped.
"I got her! I got her!" Dave ran up and swooped the unconscious girl from the icy pool.
CONFESSIONAL: I got her! I got her!
"I realized I was being a bit too harsh to Ella regarding Sky last time I competed," said Dave. I want to prove I can like Sky and still be a nice guy. After all, that is my label, is it not?"
*STATIC*
"Why is Dave helping out Ella?" asked Sky. Then she gasped. "Wait a minute! Is she gonna try and make him his 'prince' again?" She entered thought. "No, that can't be right."
*STATIC*
"OK, that's 16.2 seconds total for the Rhinoceri!" said Don. "Now it's Sky's turn!" This stirred the athlete from her above thoughts.
Hawkeye fired an arrow, and Sky found herself unable to concentrate, ultimately belly-flopping on the board before falling off after 1.9 seconds.
"That's...disappointing," said Chris. "Wonder what got into her?" He shrugged and continued. "Next is Owen!"
The big oaf stepped on the board...which promptly fell from the bars suspending it.
The hosts groaned. "This is what happens when we buy stuff from TV ads!" complained Don.
"Alright, we're gonna take a break, and when we come back, we're gonna have new support beams put in place!" said Hawkeye.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
The Total Drama Domination logo appears on the screen. "Hey, have you been enjoying this season so far?" asked an announcer. "Have you ever dreamed of becoming a contestant on the show?"
The upcoming Total Drama season logo appears along with a 50 appearing. "What if I told you, that for 50 of you, that dream will become a reality!"
The Total Drama Domination website appears with a form to fill out. "Go online now, and you could be competing against 50 people from this season's cast!"
*STATIC*
"Alright, we're back!" said Chris. "We've got new support beams, and we're good to go!"
"Can I have another chance because of the support beam thingy gone wrong?" asked Owen?
"No! We've got too much to do in one episode!" answered Chris.
"Come on, dude! It's not my fault the beams snapped like that!"
"Welllllll...technically it is since you weigh so much." Chris tried to deflect the blame onto the big oaf.
"EXCUSE ME FOR LIVING!" Owen started sobbing. Izzy and Lindsay put a hand on each of his shoulders.
"Awwww, it's OK Omar. Chris is a meanie, anyway," said Lindsay.
"Been called worse!" called Chris off-screen.
"Dude, give him a chance!" pleaded Don.
"No! This is my show!" said Chris.
"Our show!"
"Gentlemen, may I break the tie?" Hawkeye got between them. "Yes Owen, you may have another chance. Owen cheered as Chris crossed his arms angrily and Don smirked at him.
Owen got back on the board, and Hawkeye fired an arrow to start. He lasted exactly two seconds before falling backwards.
"That's 1.9 seconds for a total of 20.1 seconds!" said Chris. "Next is Topher!"
The Chris wannabe took his place on the board. "Get ready for the Topher experience!" he said.
"Already saw it, remember?" said Don, who rolled his eyes. A flashback showed Topher's poor performance in the Ninja Warrior challenge.
"Well, this is the exciting sequel!" said Topher.
Don sighed. "Fire the arrow, Hawkeye."
"Don't tell me what to do," said the superhero before firing an arrow. Topher ended up being blown back by the fans after just one second, but he fell back-first into the board, where he stayed for a good five seconds, until…
"Topher, I'm gonna need you to stand up again, or we'll have to count that as cheating," said Chris.
With a sigh, Topher stood back on the board. After standing on the board for 20 seconds, Hawkeye started throwing arrows at the fanboy...who simply caught them and threw them back. "Littering is not allowed in the Topher experience."
CONFESSIONAL: Littering is not allowed in the Topher experience.
"That Topher is so full of shit. He thinks he's a bigger fan than me," said Sierra.
*STATIC*
"Can we make the fans go higher?" asked Don.
Chef promptly raised the fan speed from 1 to 2. Topher promptly fell off after 30.9 seconds.
"As much as I hate to say this, Topher sets the time to beat with 30.9 seconds, giving us a total of 51 seconds!" said Chris. "Now before we continue, we will be raising the fan speed after 30 seconds...if you can stay on that long!" He continued. "Next is Zoey!"
The redhead took her place on the board. Hawkeye fired an arrow, and Zoey fell off after 1.8 seconds.
"That's 52.3 seconds for the Rhinoceri!" said Don. "Now let's see Sanders try!"
The skinnier police cadet took her place on the board. Hawkeye fired an arrow, and she fell off after .9 seconds.
"I bet MacArthur would be so disappointed if she was still here," said Chris. Sanders sighed.
CONFESSIONAL: I bet MacArthur would be so disappointed if she was still here.
"Don't worry MacArthur. I'll prove to you I am useful," said Sanders.
*STATIC*
"Now it's Lindsay's turn!" said Don. The bombshell stepped on the board. "Oh, if only Tyler was here to see this!"
"Lindsay, I'm right here!" shouted Tyler.
"Huh?" But before she could ponder the situation any further, Hawkeye shot an arrow to start the challenge, and her lack of focus led to her falling off after just one second.
"That's a total of 54.2 seconds for the Rhinoceri!" said Chris. "Now it's Leshawna's turn!"
Leshawna took her place on the board. Hawkeye shot an arrow, and she lasted 1.4 seconds on the board.
"Good grief, people! Is is that hard to stay on the board?!" asked Don.
"I second that! As much as I hate to say this Topher, you made it look easy!"
"Awww, thanks Chris!" Sierra hmph'd.
"Alright, let's see if DJ the brickhouse can do better!" said Don.
DJ stepped onto the board.
CONFESSIONAL: Alright, let's see if DJ the brickhouse can do better!
"I'm not just a wimpy mama's boy like I was in season three. Lay it on me." He then rubbed his chin in thought. "And is it just me, or is the confessional repeating the last thing that was said?"
*STATIC*
Hawkeye fired an arrow, and DJ fell off after 1.1 seconds.
CONFESSIONAL: Shit, I've been found out!
"That was just a bad day for me; I know I can prove myself."
*STATIC*
"Harold, you're up!" said Chris.
"Aw, sweet! Allow me to showcase my mad surfing skills!" A couple of girls giggled. Hawkeye shot an arrow.
"Huah!" Harold did a backflip...and promptly landed in the splits position in the pool, causing him to cry out in pain.
"Eeeeeeh...Harold adds nothing to his team's total!" said Don. Harold walks back to his team with his head down. Leshawna put a hand on his shoulder.
"Mike, you're up!" said Chris. The boy stepped on the board, and Hawkeye shot an arrow. Mike fell off leaning forward after .6 seconds, and he landed head-first into the pool. When he resurfaced, he gasped, and Chester took form. "Darn kids and their little kiddie pools!"
"That's .6 seconds for a total of 57.3 seconds for the Rhinoceri!" said Don. "Now it's Abby's turn!"
The nice girl stood on the surfboard. Hawkeye shot an arrow, and Abby lost her balance almost immediately, but quickly recovered.
"For a second there, I thought we'd have another bad performance," said Chris.
After 30 seconds, Chef sped up the fan speed. Abby was immediately blown back, landed butt first on the board, and then fell off after 31 seconds exactly.
"And Abby sets a new time to beat with 31 seconds, raising the team's total to 88.3 seconds!" said Don. "Let's see if Cody can keep up the momentum!"
Cody stood on the board. Hawkeye shot an arrow, and Cody found himself stumbling, and he fell off after 1.9 seconds after walking backwards.
"What was that, Cody?!" demanded Chris.
"The winds are too strong against his small, delicate body," said Sierra, her voice getting softer as the sentence passes.
"Oooh...kayyyy...next we have Laurie!"
Laurie stepped on the board. Hawkeye fired an arrow, and she fell off the board after stumbling backwards for one second (she didn't go the entire board like Cody did).
"We have 91.2 seconds for the Rhinoceri!" said Don. "Next is...Tom!"
Tom refused to stand on the board. "I am NOT getting my expensive clothes wet again!"
"Should probably take the time to point out your coats are waterproof!" said Chris.
"I was wondering why my clothes still feel dry underneath!" said Cody.
"Oh kayyy, if you insist…" He reluctantly stepped on the board, and Hawkeye shot an arrow. Tom lasted 1.5 seconds before falling off.
"That's 92.7 points for the Rhinoceri!" said Don. "Now let's have Crimson take a stab!"
The emo goth stood on the board, and Hawkeye fired an arrow. She managed to make it through the first 30 seconds.
CONFESSIONAL: Wonder why one of their names is a color and the other is a French word.
"This isn't much different from my bull-riding experiences; bring it on, guys."
*STATIC*
The fans increased speed, and although Crimson started stumbling, she was able to stay on. Hawkeye shot an arrow at her back 45 seconds in, "surprising" her, causing her to fall off after 46.6 seconds.
"And Crimson sets a new time to beat, giving us a total of 139.3 seconds!" said Chris. "Now let's see Dara try!"
The pushover stood on the board. Hawkeye shot an arrow, and like Crimson before her, she started to lose her balance, but recovered. After 30 seconds, the fan speed increased, pushing Dara on her back, but she stood back up. She caught an arrow shot by Hawkeye after 45 seconds.
Now a full minute in, the fans were at their highest speed setting. Again, Dara fell on her back, but again, she got up (though it took a little longer). Smirking, she stood in a swan position.
"Ooh, tempting fate! Nice!" said Don.
She then grabbed her bent leg and bent it back behind her head, causing some campers to cry out in pain.
"Woah." Izzy was awestruck.
"I am SHOCKED!" said Hawkeye. Chef was seen trying to do Dara's trick, only to snap his neck, causing the cook to howl in pain.
Chris laughed. "Let's add some special effects!" He pulled out a remote with a bunch of different colored buttons and pushed a yellow one. The lighting promptly flashed for a split second, creating a lightning effect. Dara promptly lost focus and leaned forward off the board, still in her double-jointed position.
"I bet that hurt," said Don.
"My leg's stuck," Dara muttered through the ice.
Chris sighed. "Looks like you're gonna have to hop on one leg then."
The girl complied, but without her second leg to support her, she couldn't stop herself from awkwardly landing on her free leg as she made it out of the tub, causing it to snap. She proceeded to scream, causing many campers and staff to cover their ears.
"Fuck damn; for someone so normally quiet, she can scream!" said Hawkeye.
Once the screaming stopped, Chris snapped. "This is why no one likes a show-off! This is why Max and Lightning died!" Dara started to tear up.
"Actually, that was only Ma—" started Harold.
"HUSH! What if somebody's putting us on a three strikes you're out program here?! That could be our third strike!"
"I'm...s-s-sor—"
"Oh, you're sorry aren't you?! Well let's see how sorry you'll be when I lose my show!"
That was it. The pushover was now a water fountain of tears. Everyone on both teams was either giving her looks of sympathy (and in Abby and Owen's case, patting her back) or glaring down an uncaring Chris (with Izzy also hugging Dara).
"That...was low Chris," said Don coldly.
"Oh, like you're a saint!" said Chris.
"At least I know where to draw the line!"
"Me too!" seconded Hawkeye.
Chef walked up wearing a neck brace. "And you know what Chris?! I am SICK of almost killing myself every day trying to help you with almost NOTHING in return! When am I gonna become host?!"
"Hellooooo?! That's...MY job!" answered Chris in trademark condescension.
"Christopher McLean, you are hereby demoted to intern. Chef, welcome to the hosting staff buddy!" said Don.
"Wait, WHAT?!" Chris sputtered in disbelief. Chef grinned darkly at the former host.
Alright, time to pause the episode right here. I know, another two-parter. It's another time-consuming challenge that runs in two parts, so this was bound to happen at some point.
Poor Dara. She gets reamed the second she starts showing more hidden depths to her.
On the other hand, Chris totally got what was coming to him. You see, I never thought he got anywhere near the appropriate amount of karma for all the shit he's done. There's no denying how many people hate him, but at the same time, a lot of the same people wouldn't really find the show to be the same without him, so I offered a compromise: keep him on the show, but as an intern; that way, we won't be subjected to his jackassery so much, and we get to see him living life with karma stuck to him!
Chris is right about one thing though: the fact that they are being documented on the news and have picked up their second strike after Lightning's death. How much longer can the show go without picking up the third strike? Can they get a reliable force to stop them besides...Alf?
Yep, that was an ad for the next season after this one! I still haven't come up with a name for it, but I do have the new contestants already in the wings, so unfortunately I can't be open for requests. What I will do though, is starting with the next chapter (at the earliest), I will include an audition tape from a new contestant, one per chapter, at the end of said chapter. I have a good idea on what to do once all 50 audition tapes are revealed, so don't worry.
We lost our first intern! I was losing interest with writing about Millie, and I needed to put a stop to her before it was too late. Plus, I felt her embarrassing secret (her real name being Tyler) could add another plot. And now that Chris is an intern, there's still five of them! Win-win!...I guess.
[1] Seeing how spellcheck is on its period again, neither of those exist.
[2] Again, the contestants' ages have been released on Facebook.
ELIMINATION ORDER:
#90: Staci (Z)
RETURNS: Duncan (R)
#89: Anne Maria (Z)
#88: Sadie (R)
#87: B (R)
#86: Justin (R)
#85: MacArthur (Z)
#84: Mickey (R)
#83: Jasmine (R)
#82: JD (Z)
#81: Rodney (Z)
#80: Scarlett (Z)
#79: Max (DECEASED) (R)
#78: Kelly (R)
#77: Blaineley (R)
#76: Lighting (DECEASED) (Z)
#75: Eva (R)
RAMBUNCTIOUS RHINOCERI:
Sanders
Harold
Cameron
Lindsay
Tom
Trent
Pete
Ezekiel
Ennui
Crimson
Izzy
Owen
Gerry
Leshawna
Sky
Mike
Katie
Noah
Sammy
Dave
DJ
Emma
Abby
Amy
Duncan
Miles
Courtney
Topher
Ella
Zoey
Gwen
Sierra
Dara
Laurie
Cody
Ryan
ZESTY ZEBRAS:
Geoff
Ernesto
Chet
Jen
Spud
Alejandro
Sam
Jay
Josee
Dawn
Jo
Brick
Devin
Beardo
Chad
Bridgette
Taylor
Brody
Scott
Sugar
Shawn
Tammy
Tyler
Rock
Leonard
Carrie
Dwayne
Veronica
Kitty
Mary
Stephanie
Jacques
Beth
Dakota
Lorenzo
Heather
Junior
Ellody