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Chapter 29 You've Doggone Gone And Done It.
In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog." - Edward Hoagland
Remus glared at Sirius and then pulled him into a hug, "Padfoot, what are you doing here?"
"I came to keep an eye on Harry. While I was in Hogsmeade I chanced across your wife, thanks for the invite to the wedding by the way, and your daughter," Sirius replied as he sat down on the bed.
"How did you know about Amber and Cynthia?" Remus asked.
"Your scent was all over them, mate, how could I not know that they belonged to you?" Sirius laughed.
"Still doesn't explain why you were in bed with my sister-in-law," Remus scowled at him.
"Hey, you know me and pretty girls," Sirius shrugged.
Remus grinned at him, "Yes I do and that is why I agree with Amber."
"About what?" Sirius asked suspiciously.
"The urgent need to neuter you," Remus smirked.
"Ow, not that Mooney, don't even joke about it," Sirius crossed his legs defensively.
Remus was sniffing the air, "What is that smell?" looking around he stepped closer to Sirius, "It's you! Why do you smell funny?"
"Flea bath, "Sirius muttered.
"What?"
"Darla gave me a flea bath," Sirius growled.
Remus grinned at him and opened his mouth.
Sirius interrupted, "Don't even go there… or I will have to remind you that YOUR sister-in-law gave me a bath."
Remus scowled at that reminder. Not having sisters of his own he found he was protective of Darla. "What are we going to do with you?"
"What do you mean?" Sirius looked puzzled.
"How am I going to tell my wife and sister-in-law that the new family pet is in reality my best friend from school and the mass-murderer-escaped-from-Azkaban Sirius Black who also just happens to be an unregistered animagus?" Remus scrubbed his face with his hands and then thumped down on the bed beside Sirius.
"Why tell them anything?" Sirius asked, "I'll just keep playing the lovable stray," Sirius reached into a pocket of his tattered robes and pulled out a strip of leather and began playing with it.
"You are not seriously suggesting that I just pretend you are a dog?" Remus looked at him askance. "I'll have you know I like being married and want to continue to live to a ripe old age. I can just imagine Amber's reaction to finding out I knew that you were the dog and didn't tell her," Remus shuddered.
"We'll think of something, Mooney, stop being such a worry-wart and introduce me to your daughter," Sirius clapped Remus on the back.
Remus gave him a look and then nodded; he didn't subscribe to Sirius' don't worry be happy attitude, but right now he just wasn't in the mood to try to figure out how to handle this whole strange situation. "You better go as Padfoot," he told him.
Sirius morphed into his alternate form and watched as Remus removed the wards and the locking charms from the bedroom. Leading him into the nursery Remus looked down at his sleeping daughter and smiled with pride and affection. Padfoot reared up on his hind legs and peered over the railing of the crib looking down on the sleeping infant.
"Remus Lupin, what the bloody hell do you think you are doing?" Amber hurried into the room with her wand drawn. "Why is that monster hanging over our baby?" she asked protectively.
"Amber, I was just introducing him to Cynthia so he would recognize her as a member of his pack," Remus tried explaining.
Amber didn't look convinced, but since her animagus form was canine, she could almost accept that, "I don't know that I totally trust him, Remus."
"I would never put Cynthia in any danger Amber," Remus reassured her.
Amber nodded, "I know that. Do you sense something about him?"
"I feel that he is trustworthy," Remus answered while Padfoot thumped his tail in agreement and gave him a doggy grin, "around our daughter," Remus amended.
"He seems very intelligent," Padfoot preened, "for a dog," Amber continued.
"He is," Remus agreed, "for a dog."
Amber looked up from her perusal of the dog, "Oh, I came up here to tell you that Alexis is here with the boys." At Remus' puzzled look, "Did you forget? We're keeping the boys tonight and she is keeping Cynthia tomorrow night. Darla is going to visit the Weasleys and that leaves just you me and the dog," Amber gave the animal another suspicious look. Her wolf senses were telling her that this wasn't an ordinary dog.
Remus had a gleam in his eyes. This would be the first time he and Amber had been alone since Cynthia had been born. "I wonder if we can talk Alexis and Severus into taking the dog too?"
Amber shrugged, "We can ask. All they can say is no."
The beast in question was rumbling and grumbling in doggy fashion. Darla came into the nursery, "Pookie! There you are bad doggy," she knelt on the floor and began to put his collar on him.
Remus was having a hard time not laughing, "Pookie?"
"Yes, that is what I named him," Darla scratched him behind his ears, "What do you think Remus?"
"That is a very bright collar you got for him. He must be very secure in his maleness to be able to wear a pink rhinestone collar," Remus was holding onto his composure with every ounce of willpower he had.
"I think it looks nice against his black fur," Darla defended her choice. "Plus pink is no longer just for females," she stated huffily.
"We are being rude," Amber said, "leaving Alexis downstairs for all this time," as she herded everyone downstairs.
Alexis looked up as the group entered the smile of greeting sliding from her face as she noticed the large black dog accompanying them, "Who have we here?"
Darla grinned, "This is my new pet, Pookie."
"Pookie?" Alexis had to bite her lip to keep from bursting into laughter.
"Why does everyone keep questioning my baby's name?" Darla groused.
"He just seems kind of large for a Pookie," Alexis explained giving the dog a wary look before holding her hand out to him to sniff, "Hello boy, are we going to be friends?"
Pookie growled at her causing her to sigh, "I guess not."
"Pookie," Darla scolded. "Be nice, Alexis is our friend. Now go up and say hello."
Pookie slunk over with his tail between his legs and sniffed Alexis' hand before turning his attention to the babies who were asleep in their carriers. "This is Aleser and this is Nathair," Alexis said ignoring the strange looks she was getting from the people present as she introduced her babies to a dog.
Pookie cocked his head to one side and wagged his tail before returning to lay at Darla's feet.
"Thank you for keeping the boys," Alexis said as she got up from her seat. "What time do you want me to pick them up tomorrow?"
"If I tell you after lunch, will you return the favor Sunday?" Amber teased.
"Sounds like a plan to me," Alexis smiled and hugged the other witch before kissing Remus on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow then."
Amber turned around to find Pookie back over by the twins sniffing at them, "That is one strange dog."
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Alexis decided to think about Snuffles showing up at Remus and Amber's house later. She had been planning this evening all week. Returning to their rooms, Alexis arranged with Slinky to provide a romantic dinner. Then she prepared to receive her husband.
Snape's day had been aggravating and had only gotten worse. Of course his last class of the week had to be double potions with the Gryffindor Golden Pain in his arse. The only bright stop of his day was taking twenty points from Potter.
Snape opened the door to his rooms wondering how long it was going to take to get rid of Albus. Dumbledore had requested a private meeting with Snape. Looking around the room lit only by the flickering flames in the hearth, "Damn and blast can't anything go right today?" he snarled.
A sultry voice answered from the bedroom doorway, "I'll take that as a challenge."
Snape's mouth fell open in an unattractive gape. Alexis was posed wearing not much more than strategically draped strands of hair and a couple of scarves around her waist.
Dumbledore cleared his throat and Snape turned to find him studying the ceiling.
"Alexis we have a guest," Snape said with a faint flicker of disappointment.
"What?" came a shriek from his scantily-clad wife.
"It is the headmaster," he advised her watching as a flash of butt cheek disappeared into the bedroom and the door slammed shut. Snape wondered if today had been some type of cosmic punishment for some of his past sins.
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Remus watched as Darla tried to convince Pookie to play fetch with her. They had decided to enjoy the evening in the rear gardens. Amber and Remus were seated in loungers while Cynthia slept on one blanket and the twins crawled about on another one.
"Fetch, Pookie," Darla tossed a ball across the lawn. Pookie just stared at her and then flopped onto the ground. Darla ran and retrieved the ball and showed it to the bored dog, "See, Pookie, the object of the game is for me to throw the ball and you to go get it and bring it back to me."
Pookie refused to look at her and instead watched the antics of the twins.
Darla threw the ball again, "Fetch," she tried, "please fetch it, Pookie. It'll be fun. I'll give you a treat," she tried bribery before running to get the ball herself.
Pookie took the opportunity to get up and go over and lay on the ground next to the blanket the twins were using. Amber gave him a warning look but didn't say anything as Remus settled down near the big black dog.
Nathair noticed the newest addition first. With a look of intense concentration he managed to scoot over to where Pookie was laying down. Soon the two were nose to nose: after a second Nathair gave a lunge and tried to put Pookie's nose in his mouth causing the dog to huff and move back abruptly. Nathair was not to be deterred and scooted close again. Aleser realized that his brother was gone and managed to roll around until he found him. Aleser's brow furrowed as he tried to decide if it was worth his while to cry. Apparently he decided it was not beneficial at this time and he too crawled over to see what this new thing was.
Pookie was concentrating on keeping his nose out of Nathair's mouth and didn't notice the sneak attack from Aleser until one of his ears was tugged sharply. He tried to move his head away from the tiny hand, but the grip was surprisingly strong and tenacious and did not let go. While Aleser distracted him, Nathair managed to crawl around to Pookie's side and was trying to pull himself up onto the big dog's back. Pookie was under siege and decided it was time to bring out the big guns. He rolled over onto his back taking Nathair with him. Now both boys were on the same side. Aleser had managed to keep hold of Pookie's ear twisting it uncomfortably, but Aleser was now in a vulnerable position. Pookie managed to reach out a long, wet tongue and lick the little boy from his chin to his ear. Aleser chortled and released his hold much to Pookie's relief.
Turning his attention to Nathair who was now trying to climb onto his stomach, Pookie flipped over again and managed to pin the intrepid explorer with one large paw. Pookie then proceeded to lick the little boy all over his face. Nathair endured the tongue bath before reaching out and grabbing Pookie's tongue. He only managed to hold it for an instant. Aleser used Pookie's distraction with Nathair to succeed where his brother had failed. Aleser was now perched on Pookie's back and was trying to shove one of Pookie's ears into his mouth.
Pookie shook his head trying to dislodge his ear from Aleser's possession and ducked his head down. This allowed Nathair to obtain his original goal of putting Pookie's nose in his mouth. Remus burst into laughter as Nathair proceeded to try to suckle Pookie's nose.
At his laughter Amber looked up from where she was feeding Cynthia, "Remus that is disgusting and unhygienic."
"Yes dear," Remus responded as he rescued the beleaguered dog.
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"Alexis," Snape tapped on the bedroom door: he hadn't been to open it yet. Alexis had locked and warded the room, "Albus is gone, you can come out now."
There was a muffled response from the bedroom, "Alexis, I cannot understand you through the door, open it up," Snape ordered. There was a snick as the door was unlocked and he could feel the spells being cancelled. "That's more like it," he opened the door to find her wearing a pair of flannel pajamas, old grey sweat socks, and her hair was now tied up in one of the scarves that she had been using as a skirt. Her face was covered in green gunk leaving nothing but two holes for her eyes, one for her mouth and two tiny air holes around her nostrils.
Snape was once again doing his impersonation of a large mouth bass, "What happened to you?" he finally managed to get out.
Alexis tried to respond but the green gunk had hardened and she was unable to open her mouth.
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Amber gave the twins some teething biscuits and left them in Remus' care while she took Cynthia up to change her and put her down for the night. The twins were concentrating on trying to eat the hard biscuits and were ignoring Pookie for the time being. Darla had fallen asleep on the couch. A half hour of chasing the ball to show Pookie how to fetch coupled with her efforts to bath the beast had exhausted her.
Pookie felt safe since the twins appeared to be totally focused on their treats and he once again crept close to the babies. He was fascinated by them and Remus was trying to figure out the attraction.
Nathair looked up from his contemplation of his cookie and noticed Pookie. Some form of communication appeared to pass between the boys because Aleser looked up from his biscuit also. Nathair held out his cookie to Pookie as though in invitation. Pookie gave it a cautious sniff but decided the moist offering was not to his taste and settled back down.
Nathair put it back into his mouth and began gnawing on it while staring at Pookie. Pookie was busy watching Nathair so didn't notice Aleser crawling over to him until he felt something gummy being shoved into his ear. Shaking his head he dislodged the treat causing it to fly up and land on his back. Aleser studied the problem and began to scale Pookie's back to retrieve his biscuit.
Pookie turned as well as he was able to see what Aleser was doing. Nathair now had two sticky hands which he proceeded to bury into Pookie's freshly washed fur.
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Snape managed to pry the green gook off of Alexis face with a few well cast charms. It had left her face red and raw, "What did you put on your face?" he asked irritably.
"Madame Millie's Magical Mud Masque," she replied haughtily.
"The stuff that was in the white pot in the bathroom?" Snape asked.
"Yes," Alexis replied while gingerly touching her stinging face.
"That wasn't a mud mask," he snickered.
"It was in a jar labeled Madame Millie's Magical Mud Masque," Alexis said giving him a glare.
"Yes, well I broke the jar I had the spackling potion in I was using to repair one of the student's tables and I used that empty jar to store it in. I found it in the bathroom and must have gotten distracted and left it in there."
Alexis' stare could have blistered paint, "You did what?"
Snape stopped snickering and carefully took her arm, "Alexis we need to go see Poppy," as he led her toward the fireplace.
"Why?" Alexis reached her hand up to touch her face again, the sting had gotten worse, Snape took her hand and refused to let her feel her face.
"Just trust me, we need to see Poppy," he told her and reached for the Floo powder.
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Amber came downstairs to find the boys crying while Remus was trying to remove Nathair's hands from Pookie's fur.
"What is going on here?" she asked as she scooped Aleser up and began to comfort him. Amber grabbed the fist Aleser was trying to shove into his mouth, "Remus why is Aleser's palms covered in black hair? He really shouldn't have this problem for another twelve years or so…"
"Just be careful. What type of biscuits did you give them?" Remus asked from his position on the floor.
"Just some teething biscuits," Amber explained as she watched her husband use a safety severing charm to cut Nathair's hands free from Pookie's fur. Amber began to feel sorry for the poor beast. He now had four baby fist sized bald spots in his otherwise thick fur. He was also being remarkably patient.
"They appear to harden to rock-like consistency and glue any two substances together," Remus replied as he looked at Nathair's now hairy palms, "Do you think Alexis will notice?"
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Poppy took one look at Alexis' face and dropped the bedpan she was holding. Luckily she had just emptied and cleaned it. "Alexis, what the bloody hell happened to you?"
Alexis gave Snape a dirty look, "I used a spackling potion instead of a mud masque, how bad is it?"
"I've seen worse," Poppy neatly avoided the question.
Alexis closed her eyes and groaned, "That is not reassuring."
Poppy and Snape discussed the ingredients in the spackling potion and what could have reacted with Alexis' skin to produce the unique combination of a green and blue plaid pattern liberally dotted with large orange hives that emitted a strange popping noise randomly.
The two came to an agreement that it was the combination of toadstools, slug slime, and blood moss that had probably caused the outbreak. Using a combination of potions and spells Poppy treated the condition. She managed to remove the orange hives but the plaid pattern remained.
Further consultation led Poppy and Snape to decide that the spackling potion must have been contaminated by some residual mud mask that the jar had originally contained. Snape went to fetch the jar to see if it listed the ingredients of the original contents of the jar.
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Amber and Remus had managed to clean the dog hair off of the boys and after giving them a much needed bath put them down for the night. Amber woke Darla up to send her to bed, "Come on, Pookie," Darla yawned, "time for bed."
Pookie jumped to his feet and wagging his tail prepared to follow the young witch up to her bedroom. "Darla, I don't think it would be a good idea for Paa… Pookie to share your room."
Pookie shot him a look of betrayal.
"Why not, Remus?" Darla asked sleepily.
"I've put a charm on the back door to let him out at night if he needs to go," Remus made up on the spur of the moment, "and if he is shut up in your room he won't be able to use it."
Darla looked unconvinced until Remus added, "You know what Amber said about accidents."
Darla nodded reluctantly and petted Pookie on the head, "Tough luck, buddy."
Remus waited until Darla had disappeared up the stairs before leading Pookie into the kitchen. A couple of quick charms and no one could get into the kitchen nor hear anything that was said there.
Pookie morphed into Sirius Black, "Why'd you go and do that for Mooney?" he complained.
Remus started laughing and couldn't answer him.
"What?" Sirius asked irritably.
Remus charmed a spoon into a mirror and handed it to the other wizard.
"Great galloping ghosts," Sirius cursed as he saw the bald patches on his head.
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Alexis had finally been cured and she and Snape were once more back in their quarters. Alexis was curled up on the couch nursing a lemonade. Snape had told her that the potions they had treated her with didn't mix well with alcohol.
They had just finished a bland dinner of soup and crackers. Snape had been concerned that the treatment Alexis had been subjected to might upset her stomach.
"So much for my planned seduction," Alexis pouted as she snuggled up next to Snape.
Snape snorted as he took in her flannel pajamas and grey sweat socks, "I have to admit I prefer the outfit you didn't have on when I came in tonight," he nuzzled the top of her head. "Maybe we can finish this tomorrow night?" he suggested.
Alexis went very quiet and very still.
"Alexis?" Snape questioned.
"I'm afraid not," she whispered, "we are babysitting tomorrow night to repay Amber and Remus for babysitting tonight."
"I should have known," Snape replied.
AN: MarkDarcy: I can't resist the thought to threatening Sirius with neutering, probably a residual thing left over from my divorce (grins).
GraceRichie: I admit he has grown on me. When I first found out who they had cast I wasn't too sure if he would work, but boy did he.
Radingsouls4U: The collar comes into play in later chapters. A brief glimpse of it was in this one.
JennSmith: I hate that he passed through the veil too! Bring him back J.K. please.
Melissa: Thanks again for the fixes.