Disclaimer: I don't claim.
Chapter 30 Taking Care Of Babies
What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
-- Anonymous
Alexis had a smug look on her face as she entered Amber and Remus' cottage. "Get lucky did ya'?" Amber grinned at her friend.
Alexis just shot her a look of such satisfaction it should have been fined and refused to comment.
Leading her into the parlor Amber tried to goad her into saying something but Alexis just smirked at her. The smirk fled her face as she noticed her sons asleep on a blanket on the floor. That in and of itself was not enough to cause a second look: it was the large, black bear of a dog curled protectively around them that had stunned Alexis.
Amber noticed her surprise, "Remus assures me that the boys are safe with Pookie," she hastened to reassure Alexis.
Alexis nodded slowly still trying to figure out what was going on. Pookie was just looking at her with an attempt at an innocent expression.
Amber and Alexis settled on the sofa where they could keep an eye on the babies, "Daddy wants to know what charms you used on the Magic 8 Balls," Amber grinned.
"Why didn't you tell him since you helped?" Alexis asked.
"And admit that I misused Muggle artifacts?" Amber snorted. "I want my father to continue to see me as his sweet little girl. I can get away with more that way."
"True," Alexis allowed. "So did your mom like her Muggle artifact?"
"She wanted to know what all the fuss was about," Amber snickered.
"So did the Unspeakables call in your father to investigate their balls?" Alexis settled back against the arm of the couch.
"Could you rephrase that?" Amber asked. "Hearing father and balls in the same sentence just…" she shuddered and didn't continue.
Alexis snickered but nodded in agreement.
"So what is your next big prank?" Amber asked eagerly. Pookie's ears perked at that question.
"I'm going to have to go into semi-retirement," Alexis groused.
"Why?" Amber asked disappointed.
"Because Dumbledore gave me his patented 'twinkling trim down,'" it was Alexis' turn to shudder as she remembered the long talk she and Dumbledore had shared. "I am an adult woman and he made me feel like a naughty nine year old."
"That's because you were acting like one," Amber teased.
"I'll have you know that it took two adult witches, an adult wizard and two teenaged wizards to pull this off," Alexis huffed.
"I see what you mean, a nine year old wouldn't have needed all that help," Amber grinned again.
Alexis shrugged in agreement.
"You took the rap for us all?" Amber queried.
"Of course I did," Alexis was indignant. "I'm not going to rat out my friends. And if you think for one minute I was going to give up my husband, well I did think about it, but I decided I would rather have him in my debt than in trouble."
Pookie was taking this all in. Remus had tried to explain to him that even though Alexis was married to Snape she was still a good friend. Remus hadn't even tried to convince Pookie that Snape was also considered a friend. That would be a battle for another day.
The twins woke up and after an obligatory kiss from their mother returned their attention to their new toy: Pookie. When Pookie stood up Alexis noticed the bald spots on his fur, "What happened, Amber?"
"You sons happened," Amber grinned.
"How did two infants do all that damage?" Alexis had dropped down next to the dog and was examining the bare patches.
Remus answered from the doorway, "Those teething biscuits are dangerous."
"What?" Alexis knew there were hair charms, but didn't know what they were.
"Your sons chewed them into mush and then proceeded to glue themselves to the dog," Remus grinned. "I had to cut the fur off in order to remove them."
Alexis took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Why didn't you just wet their hands until the cookies softened again?"
Pookie was glaring at Remus who was looking bewildered, "I didn't think of it?" he offered weakly.
"Do you know any of the charms that will grow the hair back?" Alexis looked over at him.
"Not really," Remus replied. "I tried one on him earlier and all it did was make some of his hair grow longer. He had really long hair on his stomach and the rest stayed the same. There are potions that could fix him," he offered hopefully.
Alexis nodded thoughtfully, "I'll ask Severus about it when we get home. Speaking of which, I had better get everyone home," Alexis said checking her watch.
Amber and Remus gathered up the various paraphernalia for Cynthia and the odds and ends Alexis had brought over with the boys. Snape had transfigured their double pram into a triple pram after Cynthia had arrived. It was really ingenious: The twins had double front seats and behind them was an area that folded flat for an infant.
Alexis was placing a floating charm on the diaper bags and was ready to push the babies back to Hogwarts when Amber walked up with a neon pink leash that had a very disgruntled dog attached, "Here you go," she smiled evilly.
"What?" Alexis glanced from Amber down to Pookie.
"If Remus and I are going to have a true evening alone you have to take the dog," Amber said reasonably.
"I didn't agree to take the dog," Alexis argued not wanting to even consider Snape's reaction. "Severus doesn't like dogs."
"Come on, Alexis," Amber pleaded. "Remus and I haven't had an alone night since Cynthia was born," she wheedled, "and we do keep your two boys."
Alexis looked from Amber's pleading eyes down to Pookie, "Pookie, listen up, one paw out of line and you, me and a shovel will take a quick trip to the Forbidden Forest and only me and the shovel will come back."
Pookie bared his teeth at her. "See, he's smiling," Amber said as though she was trying to believe it herself.
"Hmph," Alexis made a noise that only very loosely might possibly be considered assent, "Come on, dog, it is a long walk back to Hogwarts and I want to get you settled before Severus sees you."
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Alexis was about to hex Pookie. She was trying to push the pram and he was fighting the leash the whole way down the street, "Heel, you blasted mutt," she hissed at him.
Pookie whined and pulled on the leash and twisted trying to get free.
She pushed the pram over to the side of the road and turned to Pookie who had bowed up in the middle of the street straining against the leash, "Look, I know that you understand me and if you don't want me to put you in a full body bind and take you to a Muggle vet and have him snip off your bits you will do exactly what I tell you to do!" Alexis said with a glare.
Pookie gave her a considering look. Alexis made scissors of two fingers, "Snip, snip," she warned.
Tucking his tail between his legs, Pookie slunk over next to her, "That's a good boy," Alexis scratched him behind his ears. "When we get to Hogwarts I will take the leash off. Until then you just have to endure it."
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As soon as they turned into the gates of Hogwarts Alexis reached down and unclipped the leash from the collar. Pookie looked up at her and shoved his neck under her hand so that the collar was under her fingers. Alexis laughed, "Nope, that is one indignity I will not free you from. You look good in pink," she teased.
Pookie sulked all the way up to the castle. Alexis managed to get him and the babies down to the dungeons without anyone seeing them. There was a hover charm on the pram that allowed her to float it down the steps.
After settling the babies into their cribs and cots, Alexis flopped down on the sofa and considered the large black dog who was taking up most of the space in front of the fireplace, "Now what are we going to do with you?"
He thumped his tail.
"That's not much help," Alexis complained.
"What's not much help?" Snape entered the room and stooped down to kiss her. Before he made contact he noticed Pookie. "What is that?" revulsion dripping from his voice. "Is that the same mangy mutt you were feeding last year?"
"I believe so," Alexis said. "Darla took him in," she explained.
"If Darla was imbecilic enough to take up with a mongrel like that, why is he taking up space in our quarters?" Snape regarded his uninvited guest with unconcealed disgust.
"Well," Alexis was patting the hand he had put on her shoulder, "it seems that Darla is spending the weekend with the Weasleys and we agreed to keep Cynthia for Remus and Amber so they could have a night alone."
"I may be older than you are, but I have not yet lost my memory," Snape snarked. "And at no time was there any mention of us keeping that," he said pointing a long finger at the dog who appeared to be grinning at him as though enjoying his aggravation.
"Well, it is a new development," Alexis agreed, "and Remus and Amber couldn't have a true night alone if the dog were there." Alexis tried to make that sound completely reasonable.
"And you fell for that line of bul… tripe," Snape substituted remembering they were trying to set a good example for the children.
"Yes," Alexis hung her head as though ashamed of being so gullible.
"Don't try that on me," Snape groused. "One flea, one growl, I even think he is a risk to the children or you and he is out on his tattered ear," he growled as he continued to glare.
"Thank you, dear," Alexis smiled up at him.
Snape just growled as he went to change into something more comfortable.
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There was a howl of fury from the bedroom before Snape stormed out with his wand in one hand and a tattered slipper in the other, "HE IS GONE!" he bellowed.
Alexis looked from the slipper to the dog who was now lying on his back and waggling his feet innocently. With a deep sigh, "Severus, I apologize, I should have been watching him closer. I will buy you some new slippers," she coaxed. "I understand that Madame Malkins has a new shipment in with a warming charm and a special cushioning charm on them. They are supposed to be the most comfortable slippers ever made."
Severus growled again and threw the slipper in the general vicinity of the dog and stormed out of the room.
Alexis glared at the unrepentant hound wagging his tail, "That is the only time I am going to protect you from him. Next time, well let's just say 'snip, snip.' And it will be Severus doing the snipping."
Pookie's tail drooped.
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Alexis fed Cynthia her dinner bottle and watched while Snape placed the twins on a blanket on the floor. To Snape's intense disgruntlement the boys headed straight for Pookie. "What are they doing, Alexis?" Snape demanded.
"It appears as if they have made friends with Pookie," Alexis told him trying not to smile at his jealousy.
"I don't think it is safe for them to be so near the mutt," Snape sneered. "There is no telling what he might give them."
Alexis stopped him, "Darla gave him a bath yesterday and he is clean."
"I still don't trust him," Snape glowered.
Pookie was enjoying himself immensely. Not the part where Aleser was teething on his ear or the part where Nathair was trying to pull his fur out: the part where Snape's sons seemed to prefer his company.
Alexis soothed him, "The dog is just something new. They will get bored with him soon."
Snape wasn't appeased.
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Alexis ordered dinner be served in their rooms and in a spirit of mischief ordered a large bowl of dog food for Pookie. Slinky delivered a prime rib dinner that smelled divine. Snape opened a bottle of wine from his private stock and he and Alexis settled in front of the fire to enjoy their dinner.
Pookie looked from the mushed mash of "Parts Is Parts" dog food to the prime rib dinner the humans were enjoying and grumbled. Just then Aleser crawled over to him and grabbed a handful of Pookie's dinner. Nathair noticed his brother gurgling and laughing as he squished the mess between his fingers and scooted over to join him.
Soon both boys were finger painting each other with the dog food. Pookie let out a sharp yip to get Snape and Alexis' attention.
"What was… oh my… Severus, help me. The boys are trying to eat the dog food," Alexis jumped up and hurried over to the twins who were happily cramming fingers coated in doggie delight into each other's mouths. "Oh that is disgusting," Alexis grabbed Nathair while Snape picked up Aleser and they headed into the bathroom with the two now wailing infants.
Pookie kept a careful eye on the bathroom door as he slunk over to the table and the abandoned dinner plates. A doggy grin of delight broke out over his face as he saw that Snape had barely started on his prime rib and Alexis appeared to only have taken two bites of hers. Several bites and a quick gulp and the two plates were clean.
Pookie trotted back over to a convenient spot in front of the bathroom where he could hear what was going on. When he heard Alexis ask Snape to get the boys some clean pajamas he stationed himself across the doorway.
Snape hurried out and just as Pookie had plotted fell right over the recumbent dog who let out a bloodcurdling yelp as though he were mortally wounded.
Alexis hurried out of the bathroom with a wet wiggling twin under each arm, "What happened?"
Snape looked up at her from his position on the floor and fingered his aching nose which had made first contact with the floor when he fell, "I tripped over that menace."
"Did you hurt him?" Alexis asked flustered.
"Did I hurt him?" Snape asked dumbfounded.
"The way he yelped… I'm sorry dear, are you alright?" Alexis tried to back peddle and hurried to stand over him. Unfortunately, she was standing right over him and the boys decided that now was the time to recycle the milk and juice that they had enjoyed earlier and both boys let out a stream on top of their father.
"Arrghhh!" Snape tried to get away from the fountains that his sons had become, Alexis in a mistaken attempt to move the boys, managed to follow Snape's flight and keep the stream in a steady downpour across the front of Snape's shirt.
"Alexis stand still," Snape ordered and managed to get to his feet.
Alexis stopped moving.
Pookie was watching the whole scene with sadistic glee; he couldn't have planned it better if he had tried. All he had intended was to cause Snape to trip.
Snape looked at his soaked clothing and without a word headed into the bathroom. Alexis followed him still apologizing.
A few minutes later she came out without the boys and headed into the nursery.
Pookie looked up at a popping noise over where the now empty dinner plates were and noticed that they had been replaced with dessert. Again keeping a careful eye on the bathroom door he helped himself to the German chocolate cake that had been served.
About fifteen minutes later Alexis came out with two freshly laundered babies and walked into the nursery where she tucked the babies into bed.
Returning to the sitting room she plopped down in front of where her plate should have been. Her wine glass was still there but now there was a dessert plate with chocolate smears on it. Snape's place was similarly provided. Alexis waved her wand and the dirty dessert plates disappeared back to the kitchen. Gulping the wine she conjured sandwiches because that was the only food spell she had mastered. She had tried to conjure other food with disastrous results.
Snape came out with wet hair and a towel wrapped around his waist, "I am starving," he headed to the table only to stop and stare at the ham sandwich that had replaced his perfectly prepared prime rib, "What is this?"
"It seems the house elves thought we were finished and cleared the table," Alexis explained without meeting his eyes, "So I conjured us some sandwiches."
Snape looked from her to the smug dog lying on the rug. He couldn't swear to it but the mangy mutt's stomach looked bigger.
Snape walked over to stand in front of the large black dog, "Are you sure that is what happened?" he asked Alexis while glaring down.
"That is what I suspect happened," Alexis said.
"I'll tell you what I suspect," Snape sneered at Pookie.
Going for diversionary tactics, Pookie grabbed Snapes towel and began to pull on it.
"Let go you crazy canine," Snape yelled and tried to hold onto his rapidly slipping towel.
Pookie and Snape continued their bizarre game of tug of war while Alexis watched mutely. Pookie had managed to rip part of the towel and was pulling Snape all over the room. Snape realized there was no reason to preserve his modesty since the only other person in the room was his wife and let go of the towel in order to summon his wand when a flare of green fire announced Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall's arrival.
"I am sorry for the abrupt interruption," Dumbledore started only to come to a screeching halt as he noticed Snape's state of undress.
Minerva was enjoying the view and muttered to Alexis, "You lucky, lucky girl."
Snape turned red and managed to grab a small scrap of corner of the towel from Pookie and hold it in front of himself.
AN: JennSmith: The secret to Pookie's bald spots are coming in the next chapter. Pookie growled because he couldn't believe that any woman who voluntarily married Snape is on the side of light.
Melissa: Thank you Mistress of grammar errors. (AN2 fixed one and left the other...I did mean ear and not rear).
Radingsouls4u: I believe this is the third or fourth time she has changed color. But at least no tail this time!
MarkDarcy: My dogs have me well trained. They tell me when they want to be picked up and put into the bed. (AN2: Fixed it so they are eating prime rib for dinner instead of some strange blend of ribeye and prime rib that I had going there!).
GraceRichie: Poor Pookie, everyone is threatening his maleness!