Disclaimer: Not mine.
AN: I tried but I just couldn't stay away. Thanks to everyone who helped!
Chapter 37 Friends and Enemies
"Money can't you friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy."
Spike Milligan
Snape glared at Alexis, "Let me up," he ordered.
"No," she replied firmly.
"I am leaving this hospital with or without your assistance," he stated ferociously.
"You are not going anywhere until Poppy gives you the all clear," Alexis said with forced patience.
Snape looked around the small room where he was recuperating after answering the Dark Lord's call two nights past. The encounter had drained him and left him weak. Something he really hated. Ignoring his wife and fully intending to make good on his prior statement, Snape pushed back the bed covers and got to his feet slowly. He swayed slightly and shivered in the cool air, "Why is it so bloody cold in here?" he groused.
"Because you are not wearing any clothes," Alexis reminded him.
Snape growled, "And just where are my clothes?"
"Poppy has them and she will return them to you as soon as she deems you well enough to come home," Alexis replied smugly.
"So you refuse to obey your lawful husband and bring me some clothes?" Snape sneered.
Alexis stiffened at that question before narrowing her eyes and nodding emphatically.
Snape pulled the sheet from the narrow cot and wrapped it around himself like a toga. While the sheet covered the most important parts it did leave a lot of skin uncovered. One shoulder was completely bare and the end of the sheet stopped at the top of his knees. Taking a deep breath he headed for the door.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Alexis called in a sing-song voice.
"You," he stated firmly, "are not me," and with his dignity only marginally dented, he opened the door leading into the main room of the infirmary. Alexis grinned evilly as she heard several gasps and what sounded like the thud of a body falling to the floor.
"No Miss. Weasley I do not require the loan of your pink fuzzy bunny slippers," Snape ground out through clenched teeth, "Five points ..."
Snape was interrupted as Albus Dumbledore breezed into the infirmary, "Professor Snape, I am pleased to see you up and about after your bout with the flu bug," Albus smiled genially, "So sorry to interrupt though, Miss. Weasley that was very thoughtful of you to offer your slippers, five points to Gryffindor: however, I do not believe we need to deprive you of them, instead," with a wave of his wand Dumbledore conjured a pair of fuzzy pink bunny slippers that obediently hopped over to Snape so that he could put them on, "There you go Severus," looking at the students sitting with Harry, "If you will excuse us for a moment," Dumbledore waved Snape back into his private room, "and Mr. Weasley you really should not be lounging around on the hospital floor. Not when there are plenty of chairs for you to use."
Snape glared down at the insistent slippers and reluctantly slid his feet into them before following Albus and slamming the door shut. He turned and glared at Alexis accusingly.
"I tried to warn you Severus," Alexis replied not one whit phased by the glare.
Getting up she hurried over to slip an arm around Snape to help him back to the bed. Knowing that he was not going to respond, she said "Severus, now you have to admit I told you not to open the door."
Snape gritted his teeth and allowed her to help him back into the cot.
Albus conjured another chair and settled himself into it, "Severus I am indeed pleased to see you almost recovered," Dumbledore chanced a look at Alexis to find that she was still glaring at him. She hadn't spoken to him since the night of Cedric Diggory's death. Although he had to admit, if only privately, that the silence was preferable to her verbal lashing she had given him. He muffled a sigh in his beard as he remembered the abrupt stops and starts of her harangue as his charm flicked on and off. He had reminded her that the charm would wear off at the end of next term but that had only garnered him a look so furious and yet at the same time glacial that he wondered if Snape had been giving her lessons on glaring.
"Just a few things," Dumbledore said as he watched Alexis help Snape back onto the cot, "Severus, you and Sirius MUST learn to work together."
Snape gave him a death glare as Alexis arranged the covers over him.
"I realize that there is a history between you two but if we are to defeat Voldemort we must not allow such enmity to exist between two of our members," Snape nodded once sharply as though in agreement, "To that effect, you, Alexis and Remus and Amber will be having dinner with Sirius next Saturday evening at his house," before it could fully register, Dumbledore rose and left the room.
Poppy came in just as Snape was recovering his power of speech after Dumbldore's sneak attack, "Severus Snape, I would have thought you had better sense than to traipse around a school dressed in nothing but a sheet. In front of impressionable young girls too," she fussed before holding out a spoon filled to the brim with a thick, dark purple liquid, "Drink this."
Snape clamped his mouth shut and glared at her.
"Severus you will drink this strengthening potion," Poppy informed him sternly, "or prancing around in a short sheet in front of Harry Potter and company will be the least of your worries."
"I was not prancing around in front of…"Snape protested.
Poppy took advantage and stuck the spoon into his just opened mouth, "And don't even think about spitting it back out."
Snape crossed his arms over his chest and forced the vial concoction down.
"That's a good boy," Poppy smiled at him.
"When can I return to my chambers?" Snape snarled.
"Why, who is keeping you here?" Poppy asked.
Snape turned to glare at his wife, "She said I had to stay here until you had given me the all clear."
"I gave you the all clear yesterday," Poppy replied serenely as Snape's glare intensified, "I was wondering why you were still here."
Now Alexis turned to look at Poppy, "So where are Severus' clothes?"
"Right there," Poppy pointed to the bedside table.
Alexis looked over, "I don't see them."
Poppy walked over and opened the drawer to remove a set of black robes, pants, shirt, shoes and socks from the tiny top drawer, "The drawer is bigger on the inside that it looks," she explained brightly.
Snape was taking turns glaring at each witch, "If you don't mind," he scowled.
Poppy turned to leave, "Oh and Severus you may want to use the other exit when you leave. Mr. Potter hasn't been released yet." With that last parting shot Poppy waved her wand at the far wall and revealed another door.
"Severus," Alexis began, "I don't recall her releasing you."
Snape continued to dress and did not respond.
"Darling I promise I did not know she had placed your clothes in that drawer," she tried again.
Snape finished tying his shoes and headed to the newly revealed doorway with Alexis following behind him anxiously.
Alexis was still apologizing when they reached their rooms. When the door had closed behind them he turned to her, "Enough. I want a hot shower and something to eat."
Alexis nodded, "You take care of the shower and I will take care of the food."
Alexis quickly called Slinky and ordered a simple lunch before making her way into the bathroom to check on Snape. Opening the door released a billowing cloud of steam. Cautiously venturing into the foggy room, "You weren't kidding about the hot shower were you?"
A disembodied voice replied, "I do not kid."
Alexis ignored him, "Slinky will have lunch set up when you get finished."
A noncommittal grunt came from the direction of the shower.
"So what happens now?" Alexis asked.
The water shut off and the shower curtain was pushed back. Alexis handed him a large bath sheet while she waited for his reply.
"Now, we discuss how I played unwitting host to that flea bitten waste of magic Sirius Black," Snape said in a conversational tone that was ten times scarier to Alexis than his death glare.
Alexis gulped nervously, "You mean the time that you made all his hair fall out and left him bald and then I dressed him in those humiliating clothes and then Darla came and transfigured everything pink and paraded him through downtown Hogsmead?" she said in a rush.
"Yes, that time among others," Snape reached for his bathrobe and slipped it on as he stepped out of the shower causing Alexis to take a step back.
"Did I ever tell you that I have pictures of him all dressed up and bald?" she offered hopefully.
Snape never paused in his slow advance on her, "I don't believe you did."
Alexis nodded rapidly, "Lots of really, really, extremely, black mail material embarrassing photos," Alexis abruptly stopped her spiel as the bathroom door halted her retreat.
Snape casually reached over her head and Alexis' eyes widened. Pulling another towel from the rack, Snape turned and began toweling his hair dry.
Alexis closed her eyes and let out a short lived sigh of relief. Snape had returned his attention to her, "First, never keep something like that from me again," he waited until Alexis nodded. "He showed up before Dumbledore placed the circumspection charm on you so you should have told me from the beginning." Alexis nodded again although she wasn't one hundred percent sure she agreed with that given the way Snape felt about Black.
"Second," he continued "I want copies of all the photos," he smirked and dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose. "Now, where is that food," he nudged her away from the door and headed into the living room.
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Darla was heart broken. How could this be possible? She just could not believe that her beloved pet was actually an Animagus. If she hadn't seen him change right in front of her eyes, she never would have accepted it. But there it was her precious Pookie was actually the escaped prisoner Sirius Black. Darla burst into heart wrenching sobs. She was crying from the loss of her pet, the feeling of betrayal and because it was all really too much to take in.
Darien followed the sounds of wretched misery. Looking into the bedroom he saw Darla sprawled across the bed crying as though her world was shattered, "Hey Dar what's up?"
Darla sobbed, "Poooookkkkiiiee goonnnne….."
"Pookie ran away?" Darien settled on the bed next to his sister, "can't say that I blame him after the way you dressed him up in all that frilly froufrou stuff. Want a bite?" he offered her a piece of chocolate from the large bar he was chomping on.
"Noooo," she wailed.
"Well if you don't want a bite all you have to do is say so," Darien huffed, "no reason to act as if you've lost your best friend," an uncomfortable pause occurred as Darien realized that if Pookie was gone that she had indeed lost her best friend. He stuffed a large bite of chocolate into his mouth.
"Nooo," Darla hiccupped, "Pookie didn't run away," she managed to get out.
"Well then what?" Darien asked impatiently around his mouthful of chocolate.
Only years of being an older sister allowed Darla to interpret the chocolate coated question, "Pookie isn't a dog," she sniffed into a tissue.
"What then? A bear? He is certainly big enough to be a bear..or a short shaggy pony," Darien laughed.
Darla hit him with a pillow, "No you git," she sniffled, "he is really an Animagus."
Darien thought about it for a moment as sister leaned her head on his shoulder looking for some comfort. Finally he figured out what to say, "Look Dar it could be worse," Darla looked up at him hopefully, "at least he is just an Animagus. He doesn't ride a motorcycle. You know how mom would freak out about that. And you, know it's not like he's a mass murderer or something," Darien chuckled at that.
Darla gave him a look of complete horror and then threw herself back onto the bed and broke into fresh wails of anguish.
"What'd I say?" Darien asked totally confused.
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"I am not going," Severus glared at Alexis.
"Yes Severus you are going," Alexis stated firmly. The castle was quiet as all the students had returned home just last week.
"And just what would make you believe that I would have any interest or intent in attending this function?" he asked sarcastically.
"Because we all need to cooperate in order to make this work," Alexis explained as she settled back on the sofa. This pregnancy was going much easier than her first but she still tired easily, and an hour of arguing with Snape was enough to tire out anyone.
"Why is it being held at his house? Why can't we simply meet at Amber and Lupin's house?"
Alexis grabbed her fraying patience firmly in both hands, "Because he can't leave his house because with the rat back with the master everyone will know about Pookie," Alexis deliberately used Sirius' more embarrassing name in an effort to defuse Snape. It failed spectacularly.
"Pookie," he hissed venomously, "That mangy mutt relieved himself on me, vomited on me…"
Alexis interrupted before Snape could continue his litany of abuse, "Yes dear and you removed all of his fur, helped me dress him up, petrified him," quirking an eyebrow at him, "shall I go on?"
Snape smirked, "Please do," he invited.
Alexis gave him an easily interpreted look, "I believe if Amber can handle Black's deception with grace and dignity you should at least be able to tolerate one evening."
"Fine I will attend, however," Snape held up one hand to forestall any comments, "I will not enjoy myself."
Alexis sighed, "If that is what will make you happy darling."
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"I am not going and don't think you can sweet talk your way around this Remus Lupin," Amber stated with crossed arms and furrowed brow.
"Now Amber," Remus began only to be interrupted by the fuming witch.
"Don't you dare 'now Amber' me," she replied shaking a finger at him, "that mangy mutt lived with us, ate our food and the whole time you knew that it was really Sirius Black. Don't try to deny it," Amber's finger was shaking faster, "OH MY….I can't remember…did I ever get naked in front of him…I think I did…but I can't remember…and Darla…did she dress and undress in front of that pervert?" Amber got up and began to pace as she tried to remember. "And he was watching us make love that night," Amber turned to Remus, "That voyeuristic pervert was watching us."
"Amber he left before we got started," Remus said soothingly.
"Yes he did…AFTER YOU KICKED HIM OUT!"
"We have been over all of this Amber," Remus said soothingly, "Sirius promises that he never watched nor even accidentally saw you are Darla in any type of compromising state."
Amber narrowed her eyes at him, "And you believe him?"
"I do," was the empathic response.
"Why?" she asked.
"Because he knows I would hex his balls off if I even thought for a moment that he had peeked at either you or Darla."
"Promise?"
"I swear to you," Remus said holding out a hand to her.
Amber allowed him to pull her onto the couch next to him, "I still don't understand why the five of us need to get together for dinner."
"Because we need to be able to work together in some semblance of mutual tolerance," Remus explained, "Dumbledore feels that it would be better if the five of us work out our differences privately instead of meeting for the first time as a group at one of The Order meetings."
"And Severus and Alexis have agreed to this?" Amber queried.
"Yes they have," Remus replied, "and really Amber I have explained about Severus and Sirius' history and if Severus can handle this with dignity I really think you should be able to show a tad more acceptance. After all Sirius tried to kill Severus while we were at school."
"I'll go," she finally allowed, "But I will be miserable the whole time."
"Yes, dear."
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"Severus I am not wearing my Malfoy Ball gown to dinner with Sirius and the Lupins," Alexis told him firmly, "and why on earth would you want me to wear it?"
Alexis stared at Snape, "No reason in particular," he replied not looking at her, "You just look particularly attractive in that gown."
"You hate the thought of me wearing that gown on any other occasion. What made you change your mind?"
Snape ignored her and pulled out a leather mini-skirt with a matching bustiere, "How about this? I think you have some matching boots in here somewhere."
Alexis stared from her usually ultra conservative husband to the sexy outfit he was holding out for her inspection, "Just what is your goal here tonight?"
"I have no idea what you are insinuating," Snape said with refined dignity, "If you don't like the outfit I will see about finding another," tossing the items on a chair he dived back into the closet. This time he pulled out a long knit skirt with a matching off the shoulder top. It looked innocent enough except Alexis remembered the thigh high slit in the skirt and the fact that the material clung to every curve of her body like it was painted on.
Alexis watched as Snape pulled out sexy, slinky outfit after outfit trying to figure out what had gotten into the man. Usually he wanted her covered from chin to ankles in loose baglike garments. Alexis started as an idea hit her. Getting to her feet she nudged Snape away from the closet and pulled out a simple but very attractive outfit. The robe was formfitting without being overly tight and while the skirt brushed her ankles there was a slit that came up to just above her knee. The bodice had a sweetheart neckline that revealed just a hint of cleavage, "I'll knock his socks off in this one without looking like the whore of Babylon."
Snape stared at it before responding coolly, "I really don't know what you are talking about."
"I know dear," she smiled at him.
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Alexis muttered to Remus, "This is going well."
Remus snorted, "Couldn't be better."
They were both looking at their spouses who had taken up residence on a doxie chewed love seat. Severus and Amber were sitting stiff backed on the edge of the seat, with arms crossed and both were scowling and staring straight ahead. Two untouched glasses of wine were resting on the coffee table in front of them.
"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," Remus said to Alexis.
"They have to learn to get along," Alexis said shaking her head slightly at the stubborn duo. A welcome interruption came in the form of Sirius Black returning with a small tray of cheese and crackers.
"Dinner will be ready shortly," he said as he placed the tray on the same coffee table with the wine glasses, "Wine not to your taste Snivellus?" he sneered.
Before Snape could respond Amber had jumped in, "The wine is excellent, charming, mature and full-bodied," as Sirius grinned smugly, "the exact opposite of our host in fact."
"It is a very nice wine Sirius," Remus jumped into the awkward silence following Amber's critique of the wine.
Alexis shot Sirius a warning look before going over to perch on the arm of the sofa next to Snape, "Yes Pookie," she stressed the embarrassing nickname, "it is a very enjoyable wine."
Sirius flashed her a grin, "Now you don't want to go using pet names, Sniv…Snape," he changed quickly at Amber and Alexis' glares, "might get the wrong idea."
Snape sneered as he hooked a possessive arm around Alexis' waist almost pulling her into his lap. Alexis steadied herself with an arm around Severus' shoulders.
Amber smirked, "I believe Severus is fully aware of the fact that Alexis has absolutely no desire for a mongrel pet at this time. After all she has her hands full with Star, Aniya, the boys and soon they will be having another baby."
"Ahh, please we are about to eat and the thought of Snape procreating is enough to put me off food indefinitely," Sirius replied.
Alexis squeezed Snape's shoulders as a low growling noise came from deep in his chest. Amber's face had flushed a becoming shade of pink as she tried to control her temper enough to come up with a response other than a few well flung hexes.
Remus looked at the three sitting frozen in a rictus of anger and grabbed Sirius' arm, "Come on let's check on dinner."
"It will be ready in a minute," Sirius grinned up at his friend oblivious to the peril he had placed himself in with his careless words. Intent only in baiting Snape he was unaware of how insulting he had been to Alexis and her sons.
"Really Sirius, I think I smell something burning," Remus insisted.
"Mooney old boy, it is that time of the month?" Sirius asked him with a barking laugh.
Alexis reached over and grabbed Amber's shoulder exerting some small effort to keep Amber from leaping to her feet. Snape shrugged his shoulder trying to loosen Alexis' grip on Amber. Alexis slid off the arm of the sofa and onto Snape's lap and reached over to grab hold of Amber's arm, "Sirius, I really think you should go check on dinner with Remus," she managed to gasp out as Snape was now gripping her waist as though to try to assist her efforts to restrain Amber but really just tickling her in an attempt to get her to release Amber's arm.
Remus had grabbed Black by the ear and was tugging him from the room.
"Ouch Mooney! Stop it!" was heard as the door slammed shut behind the two wizards.
Alexis was stretched out across Snape's lap and partway on top of Amber panting heavily from all the exertion.
"You may remove yourself from my person," Amber said haughtily.
Alexis gave her a considering look which Amber returned serenely. Alexis slowly pulled herself away from Amber wary of her sudden capitulation. Amber just continued to straighten her hair and clothes completely ignoring Alexis.
Snape was watching the performance. His money was on Amber for now although the odds were split pretty evenly between the two women as to who would win in a physical tussle. Alexis had a slight reach advantage but Amber wasn't pregnant.
Alexis was distracted by a sudden bellow of outrage coming from the hallway soon followed by the sounds of the paintings adding their screams, shouts and mayhem. Amber took her chance and leaped for the door.
Alexis might have caught her but Snape had not been distracted by the noise and was able to hold onto Alexis allowing Amber a few more moments to make her escape. A well executed wiggle had Alexis free from Snape's hold but only momentarily. He had managed to get a grip on the back of her robes thus impeding her pursuit of the maniacal Amber intent on wreaking revenge. Alexis thought she heard Amber mumbling "Castratis, Castratis, Castratis," as she hurried to leave the room.
Amber was almost to the door when Alexis managed to pull free from Serverus' grip ripping the back of her dress. A flying tackle had her wrapped around Amber's legs bringing them both to the floor with a decided thud. Amber managed to wheeze out while trying to regain her breath, "I just want to take care of a small but aggravating problem Alexis. I promise it won't be painful. Come on be a sport."
Alexis was struggling to keep a good hold on Amber, "Won't be painful? You were muttering a castrating charm as you headed for the door!"
"Well it won't be painful to me," she explained reasonably.
"You can't," Alexis let out a yelp of pain as Amber's elbow caught her ear, "castrate your husband's," Alexis twisted as Amber caught a handful of her hair, "let go of my hair you witch," she tugged free leaving a few strands clutched in Amber's fist, "best mate," Alexis finally managed to pin both of Amber's arms down. She was panting loudly. Looking back at where Snape was sitting calmly on the divan, "Thanks for your assistance."
Amber spit a hank of hair out of her mouth, "Yes Severus thank you for your assistance."
"My pleasure."
"Are you going to behave?" Alexis stared down at Amber intently.
"Tell me one reason why I should?" Amber hissed, "He is an immature, sarcastic, sneaky…"
"Don't forget felonious," Snape offered helpfully.
"Now he helps," Alexis muttered.
"Yes, felonious, aggravating git who spied on me and my family and took advantage of our kindness to live off of us," Amber replied.
"He is a man who was imprisoned for eleven years for a crime he did not commit," Alexis said simply.
"He may not have committed the particular crime for which he went to prison, but there were other crimes he committed," Snape sneered sharply.
"Severus, Dumbledore is insisting that we all work together," Alexis said tiredly. "You and Amber have to call a truce and learn to get along with Sirius," as the derisive snorts emitted from the duo, "that may be asking too much, how about an armed truce where you are at least polite to one another?"
"Amber he is your husband's best friend," Alexis looked down, "Can't you at least get along with him for Remus' sake?"
Before she could answer there was the sound of the door creaking open and Sirius stepping in, "Dinners rea….What happened?"
Alexis sat up and pushed her hair back from where it had fallen from its pins, "Nothing, nothing at all. Just go on about your business."
Remus helped Amber to her feet which allowed him to maintain a good grip on her, "Are you alright?" he whispered to her.
"I'm fine," she smiled at him tightly, "and you?"
Snape rose majestically and proceeded to assist Alexis up from where she was sitting on the floor. A simple reparo charm had her dress back in order.
"So Sirius, lead us on to dinner. I am starving," Alexis smiled weakly at him while trying to brush the carpet dust off of her skirt.
"What just happened?" Sirius tried again.
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," Amber said frostily straining slightly against Remus' hold.
"You and Alexis on the floor…" he trailed off slowly at the glares he was receiving.
"Just let it go Padfoot," Remus advised softly while still maintaining a safe distance between Amber and Sirius.
"The kitchen is the only place set up to eat in yet," Sirius explained while trying to figure out what he had just walked into, "You need to be quiet going through the hallway or you will wake up dear old mum," he finished with a sardonic twist to his lips.
Sirius led the way into the basement kitchen where a simple dinner was set out. Snape held out a chair for Alexis but before he could finish seating her she let out a sharp scream and tried to climb up his body, "Something brushed my leg under the table," she said shakily.
Sirius hurried over and peered under the heavy oak table, "Kreacher," he gritted out, "what do you think you are doing?" he reached under the table and grabbed the leathery bat-like ear and began tugging on it.
"Oh master, I'se is just serving the noble house of Black," Kreacher whined trying to pull away, "filthy little blood traitor, bane of his mother's existence."
"Get out of here," Sirius flung him toward the stairs.
"You can come down now," Sirius told Alexis, "he won't bother you again tonight."
Alexis nodded, "Sorry, but it just felt so strange. Like a bat or a something leathery rubbing against my leg."
Sirius had a strained look on his face as though he was struggling valiantly to keep something in check. A long moment later he let out a burst of breath and replied, "Let's sit and eat before it gets cold."
Dessert was barely over and Amber and Snape were making noises about needing to get home. Remus and Alexis exchanged looks before deciding that the evening had gone as well as could be expected and that they would probably be pushing their luck if they tried to extend it any further.
Alexis gave Sirius a long look before pulling Amber to one side and whispering something to her. At first Snape could tell by the look on her face that Amber really wasn't liking what she was hearing. A long whisper later and she reluctantly nodded before heading over to where Remus and Sirius were talking. "Remus why don't you stay and visit with Sirius while Alexis and Severus see me home," she offered woodenly.
Sirius' face broke into a pleased grin while Remus looked at her suspiciously, "I'll take you home."
Amber really took the time to look at her husband and then another searching look at Sirius, her voice thawed, "Remus, you stay here. I 'm fine with it." Amber was surprised to find that she really did mean that.
Remus gave her a grateful kiss and hug before allowing her to leave with Severus and Alexis.
Snape looked at Alexis as they headed up the walk toward the castle. They had just dropped Amber off at her home, "I will admit I was wrong on one point about this evening."
"What was that dear?" Alexis asked as she leaned into his shoulder.
"I did have an enjoyable moment this evening," he replied with a smirk.
"When was that?" Alexis looked up at him suspiciously.
"When we left."