Chapter 4

"You have to tell him my lady; he has a right to know."

"Sabe I can't, I just….I can't, he's a Jedi, I'm the Queen, if the Jedi council were to find out about us he would be kicked out of the Jedi order. I will not let him sacrifice his future for me."

"The Jedi don't have to know, it's not their business."

"They would know Sabe, Jedi's don't get to come and go as the please, they have a job to do. The council would figure out he was sneaking away to Naboo to see me."

"But Padme you shouldn't be going through this alone."

"I'm not, I have you, and I have my family if I decide to resign as Queen."

"He's going to find out, then what?"

"Not necessarily, not if I end it with him, and I won't be showing for awhile, I can announce my pregnancy later and then he will think I am with someone else."

"You love him Padme; you are not going to break his heart are you?"

"I'm doing this to protect him, Obi-Wan needs to be a Jedi; Anakin needs him more than I do."

"You are doing this because you know he will leave the Jedi Order don't you?"

"As much as I want us to be together, I won't ruin his future or a young boy's."

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"Padme I was so worried, is everything alright? Why haven't you been taking my calls?" Obi-Was asked as he stared at Padme's holographic image.

"I've been getting your messages Master Kenobi thank you." She never called him that unless she was around other people.

"Padme something is wrong, I know there is, what it is, please let me help you."

"I am fine Master Kenobi; in fact, I think these correspondence calls are unnecessary, if I feel I am in any danger I will contact you immediately."

"Padme what are you saying? I thought we agreed…"

"It's over okay, please just, don't make this harder than it already is, we have no future together you know it as well as I do, I think we should quit pretending."

"I never pretended anything Padme, but we can see each other from time to time…."

"I don't want that, I don't want a part time relationship, it's over, goodbye" and then she was gone cutting off the transmission.

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The next week was hard on Obi-Wan, but he had the force to guide him through his pain. He was hurt by Padme's actions but he completely understood, he was foolish to think anything could work out between them. He just hoped that someday she could forgive him for leaving her, if she didn't; Obi-Wan didn't know if he would ever be able to forgive himself.

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The past week had been extremely stressful for Padme. She had ended her relationship with Obi-Wan, but what was worse was that she lied to him and told him she didn't want to be with him. She hated herself for lying but she felt it was the only way.

One morning while she was getting ready for her daily meetings in the Palace she felt a terrible pain in her abdomen.

"Are you alright my lady?" Sabe asked as she watched Padme grab her stomach.

"I'm fine Sabe I just have been having some cramping this morning."

"Maybe we should call the doctor?"

"NO! Look, I'm not ready for anyone to find out I'm pregnant yet, the cramping went away I'm sure it's nothing."

Once she was dressed in her Royal gown and headdress Padme was ready to go. "Sabe, I'm leaving now" she called out as she headed out the front door of her chamber.

But she didn't make out the door because she fell to the ground doubling over in pain.

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"Master Kenobi, a message has arrived for you from Naboo, it's marked urgent" a young padawan said to Obi-Wan.

"Thank you, I'll be in my chambers."

When Obi-Wan watched the message he was surprised to see Padme's handmaiden Sabe standing there in holographic form.

"Master Kenobi I'm sorry to disturb you but this is very important, the Queen needs you at the Palace immediately, she doesn't know I have contacted you, if you can, please meet me in landing dock 4 at the Palace. And this has nothing to do with Nute Gungray this is personal."

Obi-Wan stood in shock as he watched the image fade, did Sabe know about him and Padme? He didn't have time to ponder the question any further as he walked out of the temple and boarded his ship and set coordinates for Naboo immediately.

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When Obi-Wan landed his ship at the Palace landing dock, he saw Sabe standing there waiting for him.

"Thank you for coming so quickly Master Kenobi, please this way, I'll sneak you into her room around the back."

"Is Padme alright? What's happened?"

She didn't answer as he followed her into the Palace. Sabe stopped in front of Padme's door and said, "She doesn't know you are here or that I contacted you but please, be gentle with her."

Obi-Wan didn't know what to say as she opened the door to let him in, when he walked in he saw Padme lying in her bed staring out the window.

"Padme?" he said as he closed the door quietly behind him.

She looked at him with solemn eyes; he could tell she was very tired. "Obi-Wan" she said in a soft whisper.

"Sabe contacted me, she said you needed me."

"I should have known" she said mumbling.

"Padme, what's happened, why have you shut me out?"

"Obi-Wan, I……I don't know how to tell you this……" tears started to form in her eyes.

"Shh it's okay you can tell me anything" he said kissing her gently on the forehead and hugging her.

"I found out….that….that I was pregnant."

Pregnant? Obi-Wan could not have heard her right. Padme would never leave him because she was pregnant.

"Did you think I was going to run out on you Padme?"

She didn't respond and instead looked down at her lap. "I would never do that, I love you, we are going to have a baby" he said as she hung her head.

"Does that mean…."

"Am I going to leave the Jedi? Yes, I will not abandon you or our baby."

"Obi-Wan you don't understand, there is no baby!"

"What?" he said in shock.

"I said I WAS pregnant, I'm not anymore!"

He stared at her before saying, "Padme, are you telling me that you…."

"I had a miscarriage, that's why Sabe called you! The doctor thinks it was brought on by stress, I lost the baby a few hours ago."

He didn't know what to say, he felt as if his heart had been ripped out from inside of him. A few short moments ago he thought he was going to be a father and seconds later he hears that his child is gone.

"Padme" he said as he sat down on the bed beside her wrapping his arms around her.

"I'm sorry I never told you Obi-Wan, Sabe kept telling me I should…"

"Wait, are you saying, that you knew you've been pregnant this whole time I've been trying to contact you?" he said abruptly pulling away from her.

"I found out about three weeks after you left Naboo."

"That's why you stopped taking my calls, that's why you ended it!"

"Yes" she said looking down.

"How could you lie to me Padme" he said shouting. "That was OUR baby and you decided you were going to keep this from me?"

"I did it to protect you! Yes I made a mistake, but I never meant to hurt you."

"You've hurt me by keeping the truth from me, I asked you over and over what was wrong, and every time you lied."

"Look you don't know what I was going through, I was here all by myself and you were gone!"

"I would have come back, I had thought about leaving the Jedi Order before I even left Naboo, if I had known you were pregnant I would never have returned to Corescant."

"I'm sorry."

'I should have been here Padme, it should have been me comforting you instead of Sabe! This was my baby too I had a right to know."

"I made a mistake; I thought I was doing what was best for you."

"By lying?"

She started weeping in response; she couldn't form the words to tell him how sorry she was for everything.

He wanted to go to her, he wanted to hug her and kiss away her tears, but a part of him was angry at her for deceiving him. He stormed out of her chambers and headed for the Palace doctor's office.

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"Sir you can't just barge in here" a nurse said as she tried to block Obi-Wan from walking into the doctor's office.

He used the force to move her away from the door; he ran inside and found the Nabooian doctor sitting at her desk.

"Master Kenobi can I help you" she said startled.

"I know what happened to Padme."

"Sir I cannot discuss…."

"I was the father of the baby."

She sighed and put her head down. "Will she be alright?" he asked sternly.

"Yes, she was under a lot of stress the past week, she started cramping earlier today and was brought in, she miscarried soon after, she needs to rest for a few days."

"Does anyone, does anyone else know…."

"No, Sabe told the guards and the handmaidens that she was not feeling very well and that I ordered her to stay in the bed for a few days."

"Will she….will she be able to have children again?"

"Yes, of course she can have children again, I just urged her not to try again for a few weeks, her body needs to heal."

He sighed in relief then turned around and walked out the door.

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When Obi-Wan arrived back in Padme's bedroom he found her asleep. He walked over to her and watched her as she slept. When she awoke a few hours later she found him sitting by the bed.

"Obi-Wan, you are still here."

"Yes, I would never leave without saying goodbye."

"You hate me now don't you" she said tearing up.

"No I don't hate you I could never hate you, but I am hurt Padme, I've realized I cannot continue this relationship with you, you deserve better."

"What?"

"You deserve to be with someone who can give you a stable life, someone who does not have any other duty than to be your partner. I cannot do that."

"But you said you would leave the Jedi order…."

"Things have changed, I would have left the order for you and the baby yes, but I would have also left Anakin behind, you know how hard that would have been."

"I do, its part of the reason I never told you…"

"Stop, please, it hurts to much to think about the baby we lost, and it hurts to think about the pain I caused you when I left, I'm sorry, but this can never work, you said so yourself."

"Yes I did" Padme said looking down, she had said that to Obi-Wan but it had been another one of her lies.

"I love you, if you ever need anything you know I'm here, but I'm going back to Corescant."

"Now? Can't you stay?"

"No, the council doesn't even know I've left, I need to get back."

"I understand."

"Goodbye Padme."

"Goodbye Obi-Wan."

He gave her a quick goodbye kiss before walking out of her chambers. Once she heard his footsteps fade away down the hall she threw herself down onto the bed and wept.