Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter 41 Meetings and Mayhem

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying."
Woody Allen

Lord Voldemort had summoned his faithful followers to attend him at Malfoy Manor. They were in the very bowels of the manor. Lucius had provided a raised dais and a chair that could only be called a throne.

The Dark Lord looked out upon his minions and smiled. Snape's blood ran cold.

"Ahhh," he hissed out, "It is so good to see you all again. I trust you have all been remembering our past association and what I expect from you?"

There were murmurs of agreement from the small crowd kneeling on the floor in front of the throne like chair their faces pressed firmly to the cold stone floor, "Excellent. Now a small test," a small gasp was the only response, "You know what I want," the monster whispered." No one moved, "Give it to me now!" he demanded.

Slowly all the men got to their feet, keeping their heads bowed. In unison they began to chant, "I," there was an indistinct mumble as everyone said their name," hereby acknowledge the following fundamental principals of my enslavement to Lord Voldemort henceforth referred to and known as The Dark Lord, My Lord and Master, my liege, my leader - my boss - is the one and only Dark Lord. Unto him I do pledge my troth and my undying fidelity and servitude. My heels shall have wings in the service of his every need. No other shall rule my deeds and words but Him. I shall always resist the various demagogic influences and temptations which are ever present in the word. When The Dark Lord calls he shall be provided with: food and beverages at all times. I will do all in my power to make sure that The Dark Lord's fruit salad is fresh and tasty, his pumpkin juice is fresh and ice cold, and that the stairs and hallways are free of mudblood waste and other unidentifiable schmutz, whatever its vile origins. I will do everything in my power to insulate the Dark Lord from the hexes and curses of outraged Aurors as they manifest themselves on a daily basis. I shall make it my business to ruthlessly ferret out and correct any "funny business" involved in the following areas: Muggle torture, Ministry Malfeasance, and Blood Traitor Murder. I shall be ever vigilant in my involvement in such unscrupulous dealings. I shall submit to random Occlumency screenings, so that he may know that I am reverent and clean in thought and action, and worthy of my responsible position in his enslavement. I understand clearly that there will be additions made to this oath as necessary and I shall cheerfully abide by whatever modifications and addenda The Dark Lord deems appropriate. If I should ever betray the Dark Lord may my magic have pity on me for he surely will not."

Voldemort rapped on the arm of this throne, "I am pleased that you have all remembered your oath. Now we can begin our meeting."

The Death Eaters settled back down on their knees with their foreheads pressed to the floor. Voldemort rubbed his hands together, "I, Lord Voldemort, do hereby call this meeting of the Death Eaters to order," he looked to Snape, "Mister Secretary?"

"Yes my lord," Snape answered.

"Do we constitute a quorum?" Voldemort asked.

Snape didn't have to even try to remember the by-laws. It only took one particular member being present to meet the necessary number for a quorum, "Yes my lord."

"Do I hear a motion to waive the reading of the minutes of the last meeting?" Voldemort asked in a threatening tone.

"I make said motion," Lucius' voice was muffled by the floor.

"I second the motion," Snape quickly offered.

"Good, good, any discussion? Motion made and carried to waive the reading of the minutes of the last meeting," Voldemort didn't wait for a response. "Now, Mister Treasurer?"

Lucius responded, "Yes My Lord?"

"Do you have the treasurer's report?"

Lucius recited from memory, "Most of our investments have been paying well since your," Lucius paused nervously, "magnificence left me in charge of the assets of our group."

"Yes, yes," Voldemort waved an impatient hand, "Bottom line if for me Lucius."

"Our funds should be more than adequate for your needs," Lucius finished rapidly.

"Should be Lucius?" Voldemort hissed menacingly.

"There were a few investments that are not paying off as well as predicted," Lucius tried.

"Which ones?"

"We took a heavy hit with Euro-Disney stock," Lucius muttered to the stones, "and then with the Exxon Valdez Oil spill the…"

Voldemort interrupted, "I expect you to make up the difference, personally."

"Yes my lord," Lucius replied.

"Any new business?" queried Voldemort.

Avery raised his hand at an awkward angle, "Yes My Lord."

"What is it?" Voldemort's voice held a note of aggravation.

"Master, we have been wondering," Avery hesitated slightly.

"What Avery?" Voldemort hissed.

"Well, some of us feel," he stuttered out.

Voldemort leveled his wand at him menacingly.

Avery finished in a rush, "It's just our robes master."

Voldemort lowered his wand, "What about them?"

"They're just so 1980's," he complained, "although black is always timeless and wears well. No worry about stains showing up after a brutal night of torturing. And this fabric has really held up. I mean I don't know how many missions I went on, burning houses, killing people and engaging in running duels with Aurors. I mean one of them even grabbed the hem of my robe as I was using the Cruciatus Curse on him and even his whole body weight couldn't tear the fabric or rip the seams. All in all it is very impressive work. Perhaps the same color and fabric just an updated cut?"

Voldemort looked intrigued, "Very well Avery, you may head up the committee to look into possible new robe designs. Any other new business?" from the tone of the question everyone knew very well there hadn't better be any more new business.

"Now let us address old business. How are we going to kill Dumbledore and Potter," he hissed.

Snape wished he had remembered to put the cushioning charm back in his robes his knees were killing him. This was going to be a long night.

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Severus glanced around Lucius Malfoy's study. He and the other Death Eaters had finally been released for the planning meeting, or perhaps it would be more appropriate to call it the "I Hate Harry Potter" meeting. Now Snape might not have been the president of that particular club, but he was a founding member. Even so, three hours of listening to the Dark Lord rant and rave about the boy who refused to die had even started wearing on his nerves.

And of course none of the fiasco in the graveyard had been Lord Voldemort's fault. Not in the least. Someone else must have wanted to gloat about the predicament Harry was in. And of course someone else wanted to toy with Harry in order to make himself appear more powerful instead of just blasting the annoying brat to smithereens. Snape was very careful to not even allow the merest hint of these thoughts until after Voldemort and left.

The mood had lightened considerably after Voldemort had returned to his hideaway. Snape wished that he could just leave and return to his family. He had an overwhelming desire to shower and remove the taint of having been in the presence of such demented evil.

Lucius held out a glass of fire whiskey to Snape, "Nice turn out tonight," he said conversationally.

Snape had to suppress a snort at the banality of the comment and just nodded. His control was further tested by the way Lucius was posing. The studied effect of casual elegance was spoiled by the baggy black Death Eater robes. The effect was further ruined by the mask dangling from his wrist like the dance card of a ballroom belle of a bygone era.

Lucius continued quietly, "I received your proposal," he said delicately. "My representatives are still looking them over," he took a sip of his drink. "Although I have to admit my surprise at you wanting to commit yourself so early."

Snape gave him a noncommittal look before replying, "Circumstances change and it is better to be prepared for any eventuality."

Lucius nodded, "Yes, Narcissa and I are looking forward to making an announcement soon regarding Melanctha."

Snape allowed a slight smirk to briefly appear. Inside he was wondering how much longer he would have to endure this charade. They both looked over to where Crabbe and Goyle were paying intense attention to McNair's instructions. "No Crabbe," McNair grabbed Crabbe's beefy hand and repositioned it, "the pinky goes here when you do the secret Death Eater handshake. Now try it again."

Crabbe and Goyle held out their hands to each other and proceeded to make an elaborate production out of shaking hands. McNair growled low in his throat, "For the last time, the pinky goes here." Again he repositioned their hands so that the grip was correct, "Look you two had better practice before the Dark Lord calls another meeting. He wasn't too happy with you not remembering how to do something so basic."

The two hulking men nodded dejectedly and retired to a corner to practice.

Malfoy commented to Severus, "You would think that they would have had a chance to order new black robes by now. I know it was fourteen years ago that we were last active, but they have had plenty of time since the Dark Lord's resurrection to obtain some robes that actually fit them now." Malfoy's lip curled in distaste at the sight of the two men in robes that were straining at the seams.

Snape sneered, "They both proudly proclaim that they can still wear their old junior Death Eater robes."

At that moment Nicodemus Nott approached them. His mask was hanging down his back and his robes were askew. It was obvious he had been taking advantage of the free liquor, "You two are never going to believe what Crabbe brought tonight." He pointed over to the far corner where several of the men were gathered in a tight group around Crabbe, Sr. who had given up his attempt to relearn the secret handshake. A burst of raucous laughter burst forth.

Lucius looked down upon the inebriated Nott and made no response. Nicodemus was so sotted he didn't realize the dangerous ground he was on. Lucius wasn't one to allow someone to take advantage of his hospitality.

Snape smirked as he remembered the fate of Lucius' last guest judged to be rude. Although he honestly couldn't blame Lucius after what the cretin had done on a priceless Aubusson rug. He wondered idly if the guest's testes had ever fallen back down.

The oblivious Nott snorted rudely before grabbing Lucius by the arm, "He's got Muggles Gone Wild." Nicodemus grabbed for the back of a chair when Lucius shook him off, "I always knew they were little better than animals. This just proves it."

Snape and Lucius made their way over to the corner. All Lucius had to do was hold out his hand and the magazine was quickly proffered. Lucius flipped a few pages and looked in disgust at the magazine, "This isn't even a wizard publications," he tossed it to Severus, "the photographs don't move."

Snape looked through the pages while Crabbe looked on anxious that nothing happen to it. He had paid a pretty Galleon for the thing after all. Snape sneered as he read the title aloud, "'Victoria's Secret'" he tossed the magazine back, "She doesn't seem to be keeping much secret if those photos are anything to go by."

One of the younger Death Eaters said, "It is a series of magazines," he flushed slightly as attention was turned to him, "I have my father's collection of classic Muggles Gone Wild.."

"More of Victoria's Secrets," Lucius sneered.

The hapless young man cleared his throat, "No, these are Frederick's of Hollywood."

Snape snorted, "How common, not only Muggles but American Muggles at that."

Lucius gave the men a warning glare, "I don't want my wife to find such filth lying about. Make sure you take that Mudblood Magazine with you."

The men nodded in agreement before returning to their reading.

Lucius muttered to Snape as they took club chairs as far away from the lecherous group as possible, "It is going to take the house elves a week to clean the drool off of the furniture."

Snape nodded his agreement but before he could comment Sebastian Sneed walked over and addressed him, "Severus, how are those delightful twins of yours?"

Snape referred to his mental catalogue of facts and remembered that Sebastian had a three-year-old daughter. Settling back in his chair he looked up through veiled eyes," My family is quite well." He took a sip of his drink, "And yours?"

That appeared to be the opening Sneed had been waiting for, "My lovely Cassiopeia is becoming more beautiful every day." Sneed stood with his back to Lucius who caught Snape's eye and then crossed his own eyes. Snape tried to ignore this byplay as Sebastian continued pompously, "I am in the process of looking through the many, many betrothal offers I have received for her." At this Lucius held up two fingers.

Snape nodded, "Yes, I understand completely. I too am having to ponder the weighty decision of which families to consider as possible mates for my sons." Snape paused slightly for effect, "Fortunately, I won't have to worry about betrothal agreements for the daughter I am expecting this winter."

A hush fell over the room broken by Sneed's question, "Alexis is expecting?" Sneed questioned, "And you are positive it will be a girl?"

Snape nodded, "Completely positive."

Lucius wasn't pleased by Snape revealing this fact to the group at large, but he did take note that Snape had said he would not have to worry about betrothal agreements for her.

The assembly looked from a smirking Snape to a smug Malfoy and realized that baby girl Snape was not going to be placed on the Marriage Mart. You could almost see the wheels spinning three Snape children, two Malfoy children. Snape swore he could hear when the math finally clicked for some of those present. There was one more chance at alliance with the Snape-Draluck fortune.

"So," Charles Stein asked jovially, "how are those two fine strapping lads of yours? I remember when my son was one he was into everything and chattering up a storm. In fact I found him one time with his mother's wand and he had blasted a hole in the nursery because he couldn't have cherry ice cream."

This started a spate of anecdotes regarding children and the mischief they could get up to. Lucius even joined in with a Draco story, "We were at the ministry and Arthur Weasley walked by in his shabby robes. Draco piped up in his baby lisp, 'Father, is that a mudblood?' Of course it was in the middle of the atrium and the place was packed." Lucius had to wait for the laughter to subside before he could continue, "I did explain to him once we were at home that Weasley wasn't a mudblood but rather a blood traitor. Even at that young an age he had a discerning eye," Lucius finished proudly.

Snape was listening to the various stories and wondering just how much of it was true and how much was hubris. He was going to have to talk with Alexis, because if even a fraction of the stories were true, his sons were falling behind. He had to wonder if the boys were behind, how much of it could be related to all those potions he had tried in his youth. It had been the seventies after all and everyone was experimenting with different potions. Snape stared at Goyle and Crabbe and worried more. They had been the biggest users of illicit potions after all.

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Alexis was waiting for Snape in Dumbledore's office. She couldn't help but think about the shape he had been in the last time he returned from a meeting with Voldemort. Of course at that meeting Snape had been required to prove his allegiance. Alexis shuddered and desperately tried to think of something else.

"More tea my dear?" Dumbledore asked quietly.

"Thank you," Alexis accepted the refill and sipped it absently. Looking up at the headmaster with pleading eyes, "How much longer do you think it will be?"

Albus sighed softly before responding, "I would estimate another hour at least."

Alexis nodded before returning her attention to her tea. It was going to be a long night.

A sudden crack jerked Alexis from the trance she had fallen into. Dumbledore was petting Fawkes, "Severus is back. He should be here shortly."

Alexis glanced at her watch. He had been gone over six hours.

The door swung open and Snape walked in. Alexis jumped to her feet and ran over to check him for injuries. She had only taken a few steps before an overpowering stink hit her. Her eyes began to water and she pulled the sleeve of her robes up to her nose trying to filter out some of the horrible odor, "Severus are you alright?" she gasped out trying not to breath in any more than absolutely necessary.

"My apologies," he sniped, "but I was the Designated Apparater tonight."

Dumbledore cast a few cleaning and deodorizing charms which muted the stink enough that normal conversation would be possible.

"Thank you headmaster," Snape nodded gratefully.

"Designated Apparater?" Alexis asked confused.

"Yes, the Dark Lord frowns on his followers getting injured or killed in drunk apparition accidents," Severus said bitterly. "We tried to use the Floo to send them home but the," Snape censored his first choice of words, "gits were too drunk to speak clearly. In fact Nott tried to Floo home before we could stop him and the fireplace just spit him back out." Snape sneered, "Lucius was furious at the mess. Nott is going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow."

Snape carefully removed his outer robes and folded them so that the most disgusting of the stains were hidden from view and smell. He looked down at his shoes, "Damn bungling incompetents," he hissed.

Alexis followed his glare to find that his toes were sticking out of a very large hole in his left shoe, "Severus what happened?"

"McNair," Snape snarled, "It is just a good thing I always carry a regeneration potion with me." Snape wiggled the regenerated toes before returning his attention to Albus and Alexis, "But none of this is important." He stared intently at Dumbledore, "He has decided we need more funding for our plans."

"What does he have planned?" Albus poured Snape a cup of tea and handed it to him.

Snape rubbed his forehead tiredly, "Unfortunately Narcissa overheard Lucius and I discussing it before I started my Apparating chores. She has decided that this is something she can do for the cause."

Alexis knew it was inappropriate so she tried to stifle the giggle before asking, "Let me guess," Snape glanced over at her, "a mother son fashion show?"

"What are you babbling about?" Snape asked.

"It's just a Muggle thing," Alexis responded, "So what is the plan? It's not as if they can go door to door with a collecting tin asking people to contribute to the second coming of the Dark Lord."

Snape ran his fingers through his hair, "The first thing is for me to make some of my specialized potions. They can be offered for sale and the proceeds will go to The Dark Lord."

Dumbledore pondered his Potions Professor, "What else is troubling you Severus?"

Snape barely hissed out, "He wants to meet Alexis."

Dumbledore had finally ordered the couple to go to bed. It was too late, or as the case may be too early in the morning, for anything to be decided. They would revisit the discussion after everyone had had a good night's sleep.

In spite of Snape's disapproving look Alexis took one of the lemon drops the Headmaster offered. She didn't see how it would help anything but it certainly couldn't hurt anything either.

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Alexis looked around the Great Hall. All of the students were there but she was the only adult present. Everyone was acting so strangely.

Suddenly Hermione started singing,

"Dum, dum, dum,

Harry what have you done?
Dum, dum, dum

it's the sound of my wand.

Dum, dum, dum,

Harry what have you done?
Dum, dum, dum

it's the sound.."

All the rest of the students joined in as they moved in a slow rhythm around the still pacing Harry,

"Harry's got a wand.

Harry's got a wand.

His whole world's come undone.
His parents were on the run.

What did the Dark Lord do?

What did he put you through?"

Some of the students were now dancing on top of the tables but they all kept singing,

"They said when Harry was a baby

they found him in the rubble at Godric's Hollow.
But man, the Dark Lords got it comin' now that Harry's got a wand

he ain't never gonna be the same."

Alexis stared at them. She couldn't believe what she was seeing and hearing. Still they sang,

"Harry's got a wand.

Harry's got a wand.

His dog day's just begun.

Now Death Eaters are on the run.

Tell me now it's untrue.

What did the Dark Lord do?

He cursed a little bitty baby.

The man has got to be insane.

They say the spell that he was under left the lightning shaped scar on Harry's head."

The students were trying to pull Alexis into their dance as the song continued.

"Run away, run away from the pain

yeah, yeah yeah yeah.

Run away run away from the pain

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Run away, run away, run, run away.

Harry's got a wand.

Harry's got a wand.

His dog day's just begun.

Now everybody is on the run."

Would the song never stop.

"What did the Dark Lord do?

He's resurrected: You Know Who.

Harry had to take Cedric's body back.

He knew evidence he did lack.

He said 'cause nobody believes me.

The man was such a psychopathic killer.

He ain't never gonna be the same."

The students stopped singing as the doors to the Great Hall burst open and in marched Lucius Malfoy followed by a horde of fellow Death Eaters. Lucius glared and sneered at the assembled students before proclaiming to the whole room,

"I feel pretty, oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright!

And I pity any wizard who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming, oh, so charming it's alarming how charming I feel!

And so pretty that I hardly can believe I'm real."

He danced and swirled his cloak,

"See the pretty wizard in that mirror there," one of the Death Eaters held up a large hand mirror for him. Lucius preened and smirked,

"Who can that attractive wizard be?

Such a pretty face, such a pretty robe, such a pretty smile,
such a pretty me!

I feel stunning and entrancing, feel like running and dancing for joy,
for I'm loved by a pretty wonderful Dark Lord!"

The Death Eaters began to sing badly out of tune,

"Have you met my good friend Lucius, the craziest wizard on the block? You'll know him the minute you see him, he's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.

He thinks he's in love. He thinks he's in Spain.
He isn't in love, he's merely sworn allegiance to someone insane.

It must be the heat or some rare disease, or too much to eat or maybe its fleas.

Keep away from him, send for Draco!

This is not the Lucius we know!

Modest and pure, polite and refined, well-bred and mature and out of his mind!"

Lucius took up his song again and began prancing around the room,

"I feel pretty,
oh, so pretty that the Ministry should give me its key.

A committee should be organized to honor me."

The Death Eaters continued to sing backup, "La la la la . . . "

Lucius began rapping them on their heads with his snake headed walking stick as he danced by them,

"I feel dizzy, I feel sunny, I feel fizzy and funny and fine, and so pretty,
Miss Witch Weekly can just resign!"

The Death Eaters chimed in, "La la la la . . . "

Lucius sang while looking in the hand mirror again,

"See the pretty wizard in that mirror there?"

Death Eaters, "What mirror where?"

Lucius preened, "Who can that attractive wizard be?"

Death Eaters, "Which? What? Where? Whom? "

Lucius sang, "Such a pretty face, such a pretty robe, such a pretty smile, such a pretty me!"

Death Eaters, "Such a pretty me!"

And they all joined in to finish the song, "I feel stunning and entrancing, feel like running and dancing for joy, for I'm loved by a pretty wonderful Dark Lord!"

There was a crash of thunder, a burst of lightning and a cloud of smoke billowed in through the open doors. There were shrieks of horror and cries of terror as Lord Voldemort appeared. All the Death Eaters in the room fell to the floor groveling in terror and the hideous monster glared around at them.

A path cleared as he made his way straight to Harry. Terrified students pushed and shoved, nearly trampling each other in their haste to flee. He only stopped when he was within striking distance of Harry. Harry was now flanked by Ron and Hermione and they all had wands drawn and glares on their faces. They looked prepared for anything. Well almost anything.

You could have knocked them over with a feather when Voldemort began to sing,

"I'm a cold-hearted snake.

Look into my eyes.

Oh oh oh You can't tell but I've been tellin' lies."

He and Harry began to circle one another,

"I'm a sadistic boy at play.

I don't play by the rules," he fired off a curse that Harry barely blocked.

"Oh oh oh Fudge is such a fool—"

Harry hissed, "That at least is one thing we agree upon."

Voldemort ignored the commentary,

"He's the one givin' up the wizarding world anytime I need it.

Don't turn your back or I'll be off and runnin' with the old crowd."

Hermione and Ron were keeping the old crowd at bay.

"My followers are the ones to sacrifice anything to please me.

Did you really think I was dead and gone?"

His supporters cheered.

"I'm a cold-hearted snake.

Look into my eyes.

Oh oh oh you can't tell but I've been tellin' lies.

I'm a sadistic boy at play.

I don't play by the rules oh oh oh Fudge is such a fool—

It was only late last night I was out there torturing'

Then I summoned my Death Eaters just watch them run."

There were some discontented mutters from his old crowd at this revelation. But again Voldemort continued to focus on Harry,

"All the world's a candy store I've been trick or treatin'

when it comes to true evil there's no one worse?"

Harry blocked some more curses and fired off a few of his own.

Voldemort laughed as he easily repelled them,

"I'm a cold-hearted snake.

Look into my eyes.

Oh oh oh you can't tell but I've been tellin' lies.

I'm a sadistic boy at play.

I don't play by the rules. Oh oh oh Fudge is such a fool—

You can't find me, Fudge.

No matter how hard you try.

I'm gonna' make you scream Fudge.

I'm gonna' make you cry."

Harry paused cautiously, "Now maybe that is something we can collaborate on?"

Voldemort seemed to consider it for a moment before returning to his song, "I'm a cold-hearted snake.

Look into my eyes.

Oh oh oh you can't tell but I've been tellin' lies.

I'm a sadistic boy at play.

I don't play by the rules. Oh oh oh Fudge you're such a fool—"

The professors had managed to break through the shields the Death Eaters had cast while Harry and Voldemort dueled. Now Dumbledore and Voldemort were staring at each other waiting and watching to see who would make the first move. Alexis gasped in horror as Snape strode down the center aisle between the two house tables and stated in a loud clear voice, "I have something I have wanted to say to the two of you."

Dumbledore and Voldemort gave him about a quarter of their attention. Snape shrugged, that was better than what he usually got so he opened his mouth and in a deep baritone sang,

"Take this job and shove it,

I'm not working for either of you any more.

I have my woman now, and I want so much more.

You better not to try to stand in my way, as I'm a walkin' out the door.

Take this job and shove it, I'm not working for either of you any more."

"Now really Severus is this the proper time to resign," Albus said calmly.

Snape sneered before continuing,

"I've been teaching in this school, for nearly fifteen years.

All this time, I enjoyed reducing students, to puddles of tears.

I've been a spy, had a lot of bad deeds to repay.

I'll burn the dark mark off my arm, and I have the guts to say.

Take this job and shove it, I'm not working for either of you any more.

I have my woman now, and I want so much more.

You better not to try to stand in my way, as I'm a walking out the door. Take this job and shove it, I'm not working for either of you any more."

Voldemort hissed, "Snape I'm very disappointed in you."

Severus blocked the curse Voldemort cast and snarled the song out,

"Well, that Dark Lord he's an evil bastard,

and Dumbledore, he's no fool.

Both of them trying to run my life; it's really way too cruel.

This is the day, I'm going to blow my top, and sucker, they're going to pay. Merlin, look at the expression on their faces, because I got the nerve to say: Take this job and shove it, I'm not working for either of you any more.

I have my woman now, and I want so much more.

You better not to try to stand in my way, as I'm a walking out the door. Take this job and shove it, I'm not working for you any more."

He grabbed Alexis by the arm and headed back out the door sneering over his shoulder, "Albus, Tom I QUIT!"

Alexis sat bolt upright in bed gasping for air. Snape rolled over and asked sleepily, "What is it? Are you alright? Is something wrong with the baby?"

Alexis panted out, "Nightmare. Students. Singing. Dancing."

Snape patted her back and pulled her into his arms before mumbling into her hair, "The term doesn't even start until next week," he yawned, "and I've told you a hundred times not to take lemon drops from Albus right before you go to bed."

Songs in order of appearance

Parody of Janie's Got A Gun Aerosmith

Parody of I Feel Pretty From Westside Story

Parody of Cold Hearted Snake Paula Abdul

Parody of Take This Job and Shove It Johnny Paycheck