Chapter 9

For the next three years Padme was able to put her past with Obi-Wan behind her. Most of her time was focused on the senate and spending brief moments with Anakin. The minute they came back from Naboo he was sent into battle, and over the last three years she hardly saw him. But she cherished the moments she was with him. When Anakin talked of leaving the Jedi order because he was tired of the deception she always reminded him that the republic needed him. She made a promise to herself that she wouldn't let him give up his future for her and she made sure he never did. Their secret marriage was working out, but a deep down she did wish she was married to another Jedi. She tried to rationalize it by saying you never forget your first love, but she knew it was more than that.

When she found out she was pregnant for the second time, she was devastated. She destroyed some of her pieces of rare artwork by smashing it to the ground, Threepio was beside himself trying to talk to her, but she wouldn't talk to him which was unlike her. Instead she stayed in her room and wouldn't come out. She was upset because she wished Obi-Wan was the father. But she also wanted to have this baby and would not put herself in a stressful situation like she did last time. She felt blessed to have another chance at motherhood again.

After she had a few days to think things over, she started making appointments to see a doctor; she was not going to lose another baby. She took much better care of herself and was back to her old self which pleased Threepio. When she made it past the first and second trimester she felt a huge sense of relief. She was able to conceal her pregnancy under her large senatorial gowns, and no one knew except her handmaidens. But she still hadn't told Anakin, she hadn't seen him in eight months.

She had started hearing rumors that he had been killed, her heart almost stopped each time she had the rumors. But it was not only rumors of Anakin that frightened her; hearing the rumors Obi-Wan was killed affected her just as much if not more.

When word got out that the Chancellor had safely returned to Coruscant, she rushed to the senate building and hid behind a pillar. She saw from a distance Anakin escorting the Chancellor off of a spacecraft, she also saw from a distance Obi-Wan standing far behind. She let out a huge sigh seeing that he was indeed alive.

She then found herself running into Anakin's arms and hugging him tightly. She had missed him, and was worried more times than she could remember. While she stood there with him she found herself in the same situation she was in seven years earlier, afraid to tell Anakin about the baby. But she managed to get the words out. His reaction was silent at first and her heart began to sank, but then his eyes lit up and she felt a great weight lifted off her shoulders. For the first time since she learned of her pregnancy she was glad Anakin was the father. That night she talked of setting up the baby's room and having the baby on Naboo. She was finally starting to get excited about the baby and stopped wishing for things that could never be.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Her excitement didn't last long though, shortly after Anakin returned to Corscant he started acting very strangely. He started heaving nightmares and Padme had to force him to tell her about them. She wondered if he would ever be honest with her, but then she thought about how she had a few skeletons her in own closet and that she couldn't fault Anakin for not confiding in her about certain things. She wished she could tell Anakin the truth about her past with Obi-Wan, but she knew that would open up a whole lot of issues and she didn't want Anakin's relationship with his Master to be ruined. She felt the truth needed to stay hidden, and she knew Obi-Wan would never tell Anakin.

She was surprised when Obi-Wan came to her apartment to speak with her one morning. She was relieved she was wearing her dark olive green senatorial gown that concealed her round figure.

"I came to talk about Anakin" he said as he sat down on her couch. "I'm sure you've heard that he has been appointed to the Jedi council."

"I have spoken with him several times; he's very excited about being on the council."

"I think he's under a lot of stress."

"Stress?"

"Yes, he's been very distant lately, I'm sure you've noticed."

"Why do you think I would know that?"

"I'm not blind Padme, I know there's something going on between you two; I've known it since that last day we were together on Geonosis, I saw you with him, I know you two are in love."

She looked down, she didn't know what to say, she stood up and walked out to the balcony too upset to speak. She heard Obi-Wan come up from behind her and put his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I won't say anything to the council, but please, talk to Anakin."

She found herself reaching up and grabbing his hand on her shoulder and squeezing it not wanting to let go. She released his hand and turned to face him.

'I know you hate me."

"No, I don't, I could never hate you."

"If you've known about Anakin and I for so long how come you never said anything?"

"It wasn't my place."

"Didn't you care?"

"What good would it have done to say something, Anakin would have gotten expelled and the Jedi would have lost a great knight. I only wanted you to be happy Padme; I'm glad you found love again."

"I don't know what to say."

"I don't approve of what Anakin has done, but I understand it, I won't jeopardize his future, and I know you won't either."

"No, I wouldn't let him leave the Jedi order, but I think I should tell Anakin the truth about you and me, I don't want to ruin another relationship"

"You must do what you feel is right of course."

"But you know how he is going to react."

"Yes, but I won't deny the truth if Anakin confronts me, but I need to leave now, I'm being sent to face General Grievous."

He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, as he turned away she called out, "Obi-Wan!"

He turned back to look at her, "Be careful, I worry about you" she said very softly he could barely hear her.

"I will; goodbye Padme."

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Padme planned to tell Anakin later that night about her past with Obi-Wan. She wanted Anakin to be honest with her yet she was not being completely honest with him herself. It was time to come clean. But when he started asking questions about Obi-Wan's visit she saw jealousy in his eyes. He began talking about the Jedi not trusting him and how Obi-Wan couldn't be trusted as well. She knew he wasn't ready for the truth yet, and wondered if he ever would, she would have to continue to keep this secret from him. Anakin would never understand and it saddened her, she wanted to have an honest relationship with no secrets or lies. She was beginning to think she was doomed when it came to love.