Severus Snape had fucked up. He had fucked up royally, and he knew it. Unfortunately, he just couldn't bring himself to remedy the situation. He just couldn't. He'd sacrificed so much of himself over the years, given up on every dream and every hope that he'd once had for the future as modest as they had been. He had become nothing more than a tool in the defeat of the Dark Lord, focused on his never-ending penance. Could he not be granted some agency over his own mind, his own thoughts, his own personal hell? Apparently not.

That entitled, self-absorbed boy had brazenly spied on one of the worst moments of his life. That moment he had lost Lily as his best and truest friend. The only moment that eclipsed it being the day that Lily had been lost to this world forever. Now, another Potter had come to feed off his misery. Fuck! The boy had just started to make progress in his training too, but no. He couldn't. He had no desire to see that memory play out in the brat's head.

He knew he should resume lessons with the boy, but he could barely look at him at the moment. Potter had not returned, and for that he was grateful. It had been immediately evident that Granger had been apprised of the situation. She hadn't said as much, but he could tell. Thankfully Albus had yet to stick his nose in to attempt a reconciliation.

Hermione continued their routine. She avoided bringing up Potter most of the time, although she would occasionally drop a mild suggestion that he should resume the boy's lessons. While he agreed, he still couldn't bring himself to do so. He was fairly certain that she was nagging Potter as well.

He threw himself into Hermione's lessons as if that would make up for his short comings. He knew that it didn't, but he also knew that the girl enjoyed learning and was an apt student. He worked to hone her occlumency skills while broadening her knowledge of defense and healing. This happy little routine came to a screeching halt when Potter's little underground defense "club" was discovered. Dumbledore fled, and Umbridge became the next headmistress.

Severus had been genuinely surprised to discover that the toad was even more insufferable as head of the school. It hadn't taken long before she started to question his lessons with Granger. It was obvious that the woman didn't like the girl whether due to her tenacious defense of the abused or simply because of her association with Potter, he did not know.

Of course, it might also have had something to do with Merrietta Edgecomb. She certainly suspected that Hermione had something to do with the girl's appearance. So, did he for that matter. It was an impressive piece of jinx work, and clearly beyond Potter's expertise. No, Hermione definitely had a hand in it. He didn't know she had it in her to be so devious. He was proud. It would certainly make people think twice about crossing her in the future. Well, not Umbridge, that toad seemed to have no sense at all apart from her all-consuming ambition.

Delores decided that it was inappropriate for Granger to get advanced training, when that same opportunity hadn't been offered to other talented students. Ultimately, he'd been given a choice, end the lessons or open them up to other worthy students. She'd allowed him to continue the Thursday night meetings, after he told the woman that Granger worked as an aide on those nights, grading papers and maintaining his supplies. He'd thanked the toad for her generosity.

So, he opened up the lessons to "qualified" students. As expected, the prospect of spending extra time with the dower professor wasn't appealing to most. He did have some takers though, a small group of Slytherins, like Draco Malfoy and Daphne Greengrass that seemed to have genuine interest and aptitude in the topic. He'd also attracted a few fearless Ravenclaws, eager for knowledge and a lone Hufflepuff. The biggest surprise had been the Weasley twins. While their grades had never been spectacular, he knew that the duo was highly intelligent and resourceful. After much consideration, he decided to take them on as well.

Severus hadn't been too disappointed to lose the Tuesday lesson time. Since he was no longer training Potter, and the DA had been discovered, there had been no reason to continue them anyway. Plus, he found the lessons to be quite rewarding when the entirety of the class, including the Weasleys, were focused and eager to learn. He wondered if he would have enjoyed teaching more, had he been given a class as enthusiastic as this. As much as he hated Umbridge, this turn of events worked out quite well for him.

*S*S*S*S*S*S*S*S*

The Weasley twins' appearance in Snape's advanced potions class, ended up being shockingly short. They had only attended for a few weeks before they flew off in a blaze of glory, leaving chaos in their wake. He had to admit that he liked their style. While Dumbledore's flight from Hogwarts had been impressive, it paled in comparison to the Weasleys' exit. Severus found the whole situation highly amusing.

Umbridge was apoplectic with rage. She did not appreciate such open defiance of her authority. It became a frequent topic of discussion in staff meetings. She had wanted to expel the remaining Weasleys in retaliation, but found that such action would not be kindly received by the Board of Governors. The younger siblings were deemed innocent in their brothers' "ghastly attack" and thus would remain in school.

*S*S*S*S*S*S*S*S*

The Thursday sessions with Hermione continued. They still shared a meal on those nights, but he often allowed her to revise afterwards in peace. The OWLS were now setting all the fifth years on edge, and Granger would occasionally get kicked out of her common room for being a bit too pushy about studying. Severus was happy to offer her a quite place to revise without disruption.

It also gave him a chance to look into her wellbeing. The stress was making her jumpy, and she had started skipping meals. He didn't like how thin she was getting. "Miss Granger," he said one night.

"Yes, professor," she replied without looking up, nose stuck in a book.

"You have barely touched your meal," he observed.

"Hmmm….I'm not very hungry right now," she responded absently while she turned the page.

"Miss Granger," Snape repeated, but the girl didn't respond. Severus reached over and snatched the book away, causing Hermione to let out a shocked and quite indignant gasp. Well, that got her attention, Snape thought.

"Professor!" the witch exclaimed. "Sir, I need to study! OWLS are only a few weeks away."

"Yes, and all this revising will be useless if you pass out during your first exam," he said calmly.

Hermione folder her arms over her chest and glared at the man. Severus paid it no mind though, setting the book aside.

"Eat," he commanded. When the girl made no move for her plate, he added, "Now!"

Finally, the child relented and started to pile food onto her plate. Apparently she was hungry, because she ate far more than she typically did. Skipping meals had a habit of doing that.

Once they'd both finished, Snape handed her back her book.

"I'm sorry, sir, for being so snappy," she said quietly.

"Not to worry, Miss Granger. I believe my feelings can take the assault," he smirked, and she let out a giggle. "You really do need to learn to pace yourself though. You'll end up doing more harm than good, if you continue to disregard your own wellbeing. Food and rest are vital to human survival, Miss Granger. One disregards them at their own peril."

"Yes, professor," she replied. "I'll do better, I promise."

Severus highly doubted that this promise would go unbroken. At least you can make sure she eats here, he thought. It surprised him sometimes, how concerned he was of her. He had become so invested. Perhaps that was why Dumbledore had warned him off. Investment brought hurt, it brought pain and death , at least in his experience. Even so, he didn't want to change anything. He wasn't sure that he deserved any happiness in his life, but he accepted it all the same. He had a hard time quantifying it, though. Why did he care for a girl that he had no….romantic ties to (he shuddered at the thought), no familial ties, no house ties? She treated him with respect, she trusted him and he appreciated that. She had taught him how rewarding teaching can be which was definitely not something that his years at Hogwarts had done.

In the end, Severus decided that he simply didn't care. The girl would benefit from his teaching, so it was worthwhile to continue as things were. Besides wasn't it normal to care about others? Didn't people do it all the time? Why not him? Why couldn't he have something uncomplicated and simple. An interesting discussion with an intelligent pupil, a jest said during a shared meal, the knowledge that someone would actually miss him, if he were gone, none of that sounded so out of the ordinary. None of that sounded wrong or inappropriate. Perhaps it only seemed strange due to his own stand-offish nature. Whatever the reason, he had absolutely no desire to deny himself this little slice of normality.