"Severus," the sound of his name startled him awake. He was immensely puzzled to find himself in a hospital bed wearing his teaching robes. Was he injured? What happened last night? Poppy was hovering over him, which wasn't an odd occurrence, but typically he knew why he'd been admitted.
Poppy, apparently reading his confusion, started providing answers. "You fell asleep here last night or rather this morning. I didn't have the heart to wake you, so I made you as comfortable as I could."
Severus looked around and noticed that the privacy curtains had been pulled closed around his and Granger's beds. He instantly sat upright and looked to the girl. She was pale and quiet, but blessedly alive. "She's stable, Severus. No change from this morning."
Snape nodded. He knew the damage to the girl had been extensive, and she'd need time to recover. "What time is it?' he asked the witch.
"Almost 6:30," she responded.
"I need to get ready for class," he said getting up from the bed.
"Classes are over, dear. It's 6:30 in the evening. Albus took over your classes today so you could rest," the mediwitch said. "I only woke you now, because Miss Granger's friends would like to see her, and I assumed you wouldn't appreciate them waking you."
"You assumed right, Poppy," he said as he stood, rearranging his robes to look a bit more presentable. "I'll be back later to check on the girl and to bring you some potions for her recovery." With that he strode from the room, breezing past a gaggle of Gryffindors with as much dignity as he could muster.
*S*S*S*S*S*S*S*S*S*S*S*S*
He didn't return until late into the night. Poppy had already turned in for the evening. He'd spent the ensuing hours drinking overly strong tea and brewing. He knew the girl would need multiple potions to fortify her body and repair the damage that the curse had wrought.
The girl slept soundly, as did her red headed friend across the room. The other children's injuries were relatively mild compared to these two and had been quickly healed and released. Snape had received word that Granger had woken momentarily a few hours ago. She hadn't stayed conscious for very long, but it was a good sign.
He sat himself in the chair next to the bed and studied the sleeping witch. He'd been giving Albus's warnings about not getting attached a lot of thought. He'd analyzed the past few days in detail, searching for a moment where is judgement or actions were compromised by the girl. There had been one glaring moment of profound stupidity on his part, when he'd attempted to go to the Ministry to "save" the little witch.
It was an obvious compromise. He could have very well blown his cover, making himself useless to the Order and the coming war. Not only that, but he'd challenged Moody which didn't bode well. The man hated him on general principle alone, and now he had one more thing to count against him. All the same, he was grateful for the intervention. He could have very well made a bad situation worse.
Everything else though, he'd kept his wits about him and responded appropriately given the circumstances and information at hand. So, he wasn't completely compromised. It meant that it was something he could correct. He didn't lose control as soon as she was in danger. He'd not intervened in Dolores's office other than to deny the toad the potion she'd requested. Of course, he would have done that regardless of who the student was. He'd remained in the castle as requested throughout the day and night.
No, he wasn't completely compromised. Although that led to the inevitable question of whether to correct the behavior or severe the attachment. That was the chief debate, and he'd yet to come up with an answer. He enjoyed the girl's company. She was intelligent and kind, but vicious when the situation required it. He enjoyed teaching her. She trusted him which he appreciated more than he could express. He'd been a spy for about as long as she'd been alive. Admittedly for many of those years, he'd simply been waiting for the Dark Lord's inevitable return, but still it weighed on him. He felt as if he was constantly playing a part, not living a life. Endlessly he strived to earn and maintain trust from everyone around him, hoping that he wouldn't slip, wouldn't compromise the entire war effort with a misspoken word. He didn't feel that need, that fear around Hermione.
There was also the issue of her safety. He was no fool. He'd warded the girl's house for a reason last summer. Her birth status, her intelligence and courage, her attachment to Potter, all put a very large target on her back, and there was nothing he could do to change that. So that begged the question, would his attachment be worth it, if he lost her as he had his mother and Lily. Until recently, he'd have said no. He'd often wished that he hadn't known his mother and that he'd never met Lily, if only to release him from the pain of their loss. Lately though, he found himself able to recall them both fondly without the yawning chasm of despair trying to swallow him whole. Now, though, he was learning to treasure those memories and was loath to part with them.
Severus was distracted from his thoughts as the girl started to stir. He watched as her eyes slowly opened and took in her surroundings. "You're in the hospital wing, Miss Granger," he said softly.
Hermione looked over to Snape. "Professor?" she asked.
"Yes," he responded. " I came to check on you. Do you remember waking earlier today?" he asked.
The witch frowned. "I-I think so, but it's, it's foggy," she said. Stirring a bit more, she hissed in pain. "Sir, what's wrong with me? Why can't I remember? What happened to me?" Fear crept into her voice.
"Calm yourself, Miss Granger. The "fog" is perfectly normal, and you had only been awake for a few minutes," he soothed. "Your body has been through a great trauma and needs time to heal. Do you remember going to the Department of Mysteries?"
Again, the witch frowned. "Yes, some of it. I told Harry not to go. I told him it was a trap, but he wouldn't listen. I-I couldn't let him go alone. H-he, He needed help." She paused. "It was a trap," she whispered.
"Yes, yes it was," Severus agreed.
"Dolahov cursed me, didn't he?" she asked.
"Yes, he did," the wizard responded.
"It was so fast. I thought I was going to die. I-I don't know why I didn't. He had a clear shot at me. He made contact. Why am I not dead?" she asked, her breath becoming ragged as she recalled the events from the previous evening.
"You silenced Dolahov before he attacked. We believe that is why you didn't die. As it was, you very nearly did. It will take a while, Miss Granger, but I have every faith that you will make a full recovery," he explained.
Hermione took a sharp inhale of breath before she asked, " the others! Are they, did they, is everyone ok?"
"Yes, Miss Granger. All of your classmates returned. Mr. Weasley will also need a bit of time to heal, but he too will make a complete recovery. The others had minor wounds which were easily mended," he assured the girl. He'd leave the news about the mutt to someone else.
She let out a long sigh of relief. "Good, that's good," she murmured to herself. Hermione looked back to her professor. "What did the spell do to me?"
"Miss Granger, it's very late and you need your rest. Madame Pomfrey can explain it to you in tomorrow," he tried to dissuade the child.
"Please, Sir. I want you to tell me. I know you'll be honest with me. Please, sir. I need to know," she begged.
Severus sighed. It was important for her to know, to understand what following Potter's rash lead did to her. "The curse is Dolahov's specialty. He designed it himself and is quite proud of it. It dissolves the internal organs until they can no longer function. Typically, the process is fairly quick, if not painless. We believe your silencing Dolahov gave you more time. When you were brought in, you already had extensive internal bleeding and blood had started seeping into your lungs. We worked as quickly as we could to stop it's progress and to stabilize you."
"So, I'm stabilized, but not better?" she asked. Severus gave her a quick nod of agreement. "Will I have a scar?"
"Yes, I'm afraid that was something we could not prevent. It starts at your sternum and runs down past your navel," he explained gravely.
The witch nodded, but even in the dim light, he could see the girl's distress. "Is that something that's important to you?" he asked. It just seemed uncharacteristic of the girl, but what did he know.
"No…I-I d-don't think so….I mean, I didn't think I would care. I-I don't know. I don't know," tears started to fall. "I'm sorry, sir. I don't even know why I'm crying," she said as she covered her face with her hands.
He usually loathed tears. Especially how quickly they seemed to come with the younger years and adolescents alike and over the most trivial of reasons. This time though, this time the tears cause a wholly inexplicable reaction. He rose from his chair and sat on the side of the witch's bed and embraced her. Hermione instantly threw her arms around him. Clinging to him as her tears came in earnest. Severus had no idea what to do, so he just continued to hold the overwhelmed child, rubbing her back and offering the occasional word of comfort.
*S*S*S*S*S*S*S*S*S*S*S*S*
He'd sat with her. Long after the tears had dried, and the girl had fallen asleep. During that time, it occurred to him that he'd not taken one important thing into consideration when contemplating a continued association with the young witch. He hadn't thought of how the decision would affect the girl. He'd assumed that he was the only one gaining from this arrangement. It wasn't difficult to imagine himself as a selfish man. Yes, Miss Granger did gain knowledge from him, but that could easily be imparted through more formal means. It was hard to imagine that she actually enjoyed his company. That she needed him, yet here he was, offering the witch comfort.
This made his decision almost easy. He would correct his behavior to ensure he wouldn't make such a foolish mistake in the future. He would also continue this…what relationship? No, though technically accurate, it just didn't sound right or, well, appropriate. Mentorship? That seemed closer. Friendship? Perhaps and perhaps, it didn't really matter what one called it. With the decision finally made, he felt a tremendous wave a relief. He'd continue to teach and guide the girl, and they would both benefit from it.