Hey y'all this is my first ever fanfic, it's a Sawyer/Kate POV and story, however whenever it's Sawyer's point of view I will use the name James. I want it to be angsty and deep so it will take me some time and it is set, post The Long Con.

As you know the characters and the show do not belong to me, etc, etc. I am just trying to use my creative writing skills to tell what I think would be a great story.

Please, please review and comment and feel free to email meon what I have written so far!

Chapter 1

James stared out to the sea, and asked himself for the hundred thousandth time why he even cared what she thought of him. His life had been a series of misfortunate events but he was well aware that even when there seemed to be no choice, there was one. He had made his peace with the fact that he was weak, that he couldn't fight the demon inside him that made him do and say the majority of the things he did. Hell he was even considering exorcising that particular demon once and for all. The one thing he could never get over though, was her.

She was in his dreams, his every other waking thought, and when he got her out of his head, she was there in person, drawing him to her like a moth to a flame. And just like that moth the closer he got the more it hurt and burned.

He'd seen the disgust and pity in her eyes, her face, her very demeanor, and yet he'd also seen the undeniable truth. She was drawn to him too, it was glaringly obvious she did not want to be, and for some reason that made it hurt even more.

And this Wayne she'd talked to in the hatch while he was regaining consciousness… he was the crux of the matter. James figured he must have been her stepfather or her mother's boyfriend, yet it didn't make sense that she believed that he was a part of her. Unless there was a Jerry Springer archetype explanation, and this Wayne was her biological father? Highly unlikely, he must have gotten it mixed up, or had he? And more importantly did it even matter? He himself hated the fact that she could affect him the way she could. He hated the fact that she was his weakness, his ever growing weakness in this mad world he'dcrash landed into.

"Sawyer, I need to talk to you." Son of a bitch, that fucking name! James regretted ever telling people on the island that was his name. Who was he kidding, that persona he'd adopted had died the second the world thought they were all dead. Which was probably around the same time they crashed, hell, maybe even earlier when the plane first disappeared off the radar.

"Hey Sawyer!" Kate yelled in his face. "Damn it Freckles I heard you the goddamn first time you hollered my damn name! What the hell do you want so bad?" James finished off the sentence with his trademark once over, damn she never had an ugly day in her life did she?

"I need to talk to you!" Kate repeated agitatedly. "Well speak, Freckles you got my undivided attention."

"I gotta go into the jungle and find Jack, do you think you could take my shift in the hatch?" Well, well, she wanted him to babysit the dinosaur computer in that creepy contraption so she could go and get her mack on with Captain Jackass did she?

"You could be belligerent as usual or you could just say yes without dragging this entire conversation out, your choice Tex, but I don't have time for this so a simple yes or no will do." Kate snapped.

"Okay Sassafras, I'll Bubbles that stupid computer, when does your shift start?"

Kate inwardly flinched in surprise at his easy answer, was he feeling okay? Maybe the infection in his shoulder had started again? "It starts in about thirty minutes, come on I'll walk to the hatch with you." She responded.

"Fine by me, lead the way." James started to follow her and wondered what he'd just gotten himself into. He hated that concrete monstrosity with a passion and being in it made him want to crawl out of his skin and run. But he had to admit it had almost been worth it to see the look in her eyes when he'd said he would do it, no questions asked.

As they walked through the jungle Kate couldn't help but puzzle over Sawyer's easy response. And the urge to ask what had brought on this change in personality was overwhelming. After the episode with the guns she'd pretty much stayed well away from him. Not because he'd become persona non grata once again, but because he'd hurt her real bad by playing with her emotions like that. She didn't have a moral high ground to stand on seeing as she'd done many reprehensible things in her past and even on Craphole Island itself. However, this was different, she'd genuinely started to let herself feel for him and he'd conned her like he'd conned dozens of women before her. And the realization that whatever this thing between them was had taken such a hold that she hadn't seen it coming scared the hell out of her. "My my aren't we sociable today, a little conversation wouldn't kill ya Freckles." He quipped.

"Sorry, I'm still recovering from your very uncharacteristic acquiescence Tex." Kate imparted truthfully. "My acquiescence, huh?" Without turning to look, Kate could hear the smirk in his voice as he said that. "Well considering you conned me and the entire island just a week ago, yeah Sawyer! Is this another con? You got something up your sleeve?" James couldn't help but wince, he'd screwed this up bad. But what was there to regret it wasn't like she would ever make a move towards him anyway.