FG: Hey, welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway, the show where everything's made up, and the points don't matter! That's right, the points are like the charities that give books to illiterate kids!

Drew Carey: (glare)

FG: Um…what?

Everyone else: (sweatdrop)

Bernie: Um…Miss FG? This is CC2.

Drew Carey: Are you trying to steal what little money I get from FOX?

FG: Um…

Drew Carey: STALKER! (runs off)

FG: That was…weird.

Emma: Yup.

Sora: Uh-huh.

Daxter: I've seen weirder.

FG: Oh! That reminds me! Reviewers, please welcome today's guest on 'Ultra-Author's Note', Daxter from the Jak Trilogy!

Daxter: JAK Trilogy? What am I, chopped liver? Who had to crawl through all those tiny spaces? Who had to walk around without pants for four years? Who had to go inside a computer and play Pacman, with their head being Pacman? ME! NOT JAK! Jak just got two sets of superpowers, twelve guns, two girls fighting over him, and a whole stinkin' CITY!

Jake: Aw, we're sorry… (picks up Daxter)

Daxter: Hey, hey, HEY! Only the babes get to cuddle Orange Lightning!

Jake: (sniff) Fine…who wants Dax?

FG: MINE! (tackles Jake) You're so cute! (pets Daxter)

Daxter: Lay off! I said 'babes', not 'babies'! What're you, eleven?

FG: (growl) Hurry up and say the disclaimer so I can chase you all the way to Dead Town.

Daxter: (gulp) The scary pre-teen doesn't own anyone except for Emma, Dia, Jake, Robin, Bernie, Alissa, Taylor, Coeur, and Miaow.

FG: You done?

Daxter: Um…no…?

FG: I'm not falling for that. YAH! (chases Daxter)

Daxter: (starts running) DON'T KILL ME! I'M A PRECURSOR! (stops) Hey, babe, call me sometime!

Dia: (stares) Need some help, FG?

FG: Well…

Dia: I don't care what the answer is, that orange rat's gonna pay! Heartless, attack! And no singing!

Fat Bandit Heartless: (grunt)

Daxter: MAN! Those things are fatter than Krew and Kleiver combined!

Fat Bandit Heartless: (breathe fire)

Daxter: (cough) And twice as smelly! (runs off)

FG, Dia, and Fat Bandit Heartless: (chase Daxter)

Riku: ……stupid, aren't they?

Jake: He should know better than to hit on Sis.

Bernie: Well, on with Chapter 4!

… … … … … … … … …

The mob known as Juu Senshi walked through the woods surrounding the Flapping Monkeys Reservation. Coeur batted at Bernie's ear and meowed at her. Bernie nodded and turned to Robin. "Robin, Coeur wants to know how you met Haiiro."

Dia grinned. "Yeah, why don't you tell us, Fuudo? You and I both know it's a long way to the cabins."

"Yup," Emma agreed. "One cabin's real close but it's…Cabin 10."

A shudder ran through the three girls. "Cabin 10?" Riku asked. "What's so bad about Cabin 10?"

Dia looked a little uncomfortable. "Well, this camp's been around for a long time. The first owner was an environmentalist. He let a bunch of wild geese stay in Cabin 10. They never left. They just…multiplied."

Jake scratched his head. "How do geese multiply? I mean, do they-" A dull yet sickened look crossed the faces of the older members. "Oh. OH! Forget I asked," he added quickly.

"Anyway, for the near-40 years the camp has been open…" Dia continued. "the cabin's been flooded with geese."

Donald started laughing. "You're afraid of the cabin because it's flooded with geese?"

"Dookie," Dia grunted.

"What?"

"Dookie," she repeated flatly.

"What're you talking about?"

Dia sighed. "The space in there that's not filled with geese is filled with their dookie."

"Goose stool is a less crude way of putting it," Bernie spoke up.

Robin shuddered and kept walking. "It still means poop, Loony."

"Pooooooooooop…"

Kairi sighed. "Jake, can you stop that?"

"Pooooooooooop…" Jake grinned and started marching. "Pooooooooooop…"

"Yer brother's wacko, Quinn." Robin scrunched up her shoulders sulkily. "Fine, I'll tell y'all my story. Just so Quinn Jr. will stop sayin'-"

"Pooooooooooop…"

The Japanese teenager grunted. "That."

… … …

FLASHBACK

Well, here's my story. I dun like it much, but I guess I gotta tell it. I started playin' four years ago, when I was fourteen. I got it early 'cause I can understand Japanese, seein' as I AM Japanese. I beat it when I was sixteen. Hey! Whatcha givin' me that look for, Baecker? I'm not some techno-geek like you are! It takes us NORMAL people a while longer! Like I was saying, I beat it when I was sixteen. The next day, I got a call from some guy. I guessed it was Ansem, but I was wrong. That night, instead 'a tryin' ta get 'Another Side, Another Story', I went ta bed.

… … …

I met Haiiro in my dream that night. He said he'd got important info; he was tellin' me 'bout ya, Baecker. I got angry when he said I'd hafta work with you, Quinn, but if you, Baecker, an' Quinn Jr. were gonna let the Heartless in, we'd hafta team up.

"They need you. Please help them." Although Haiiro's words made it sound like helpin' was optional, his voice an' expression said, 'I'll pop into your dreams every night and scream at you if you don't help.'

"I dun wanna." I turned away from 'im, standin' stiffly and crossin' my arms.

Haiiro sighed. "I suppose a gift is needed. I was not going to give this to you for a couple years, but they need you."

This got me interested. I turned back 'round ta face the old guy. Well, he's not old, but y'know…silver hair. Whitish. Oldish. Whatever. "Gift?" I asked.

"Yes, a gift…" he replied slowly, lookin' like he struck gold. "A special weapon needed to destroy the Heartless. The Shinku Cannon." A red light floated out ta me an' materialized into a fat, red rifle. I swung it onto my shoulder. "Do you like it?"

It was heavy, and real impressive. "I like it. But how do y'know I won't go on rampages with this baby?" I purposefully got a maniacal look. Maybe if I looked destructive and mischievous enough, he wouldn't want me as…Senshi no Kyuu. I'm Senshi no Kyuu, right? Yeah. Right. I'm always right. Hmph. Movin' along now.

Haiiro just smiled at me. "I know you would not do that."

"Try me."

He must've been stupid, brave, or both, 'cause he floated closer and said, "Then shoot me."

I blinked. "Shoot….you…?"

"That is correct. If you can shoot one man, you could be able to go on your 'rampages'. If you can't, I can trust you."

"Heh. Ya got guts, ol' man. I'll shoot ya right in the head. Or the chest. Or a lil' lower, if y'know what I mean." He looked a lil' nervous; my ecstatic talk 'bout shootin' got to 'im. He couldn't take back the offer.

But he got lucky. When I aimed the Shinku Cannon at him, my finger froze. I switched hands. Maybe, for some odd reason, my other index finger would do the trick. "What, may I ask, are you doing, Robin?"

"Shut up! Can'tcha see I'm havin' gun issues? Are ya usin' some powers ta make me stop?" My finger touched the trigger, but seemed too weak ta press it. "Huh? Are ya?"

Ansem's replica chuckled and relaxed. "That is no power of mine. That is your conscience."

"Y'mean like that stupid cricket? I dun believe ya, one stinkin' bit." I gritted my teeth an' glared at my new weapon. Finally, I let out a huge sigh. I chucked the cannon a few feet, then hung my head. "Y'knew I couldn't…when I didn't know myself. What gives, Grandpa Man-Lady?"

"I have my ways." Haiiro smiled. "Will you join us, Robin?"

I grunted. "Whatever. But the second the Heartless go 'sayonara', I'm outta their lives, and they're outta mine. 'Specially Quinn."

Haiiro shrugged. "As long as you cooperate. Remember; this is an honor. You were chosen as the ninth fighter because you are knowledgeable. You love Kingdom Hearts."

"Psssssssh. I'm wakin' up now." I snatched my weapon. "An' I'm bringin' this baby with me."

… … …

A few weeks ago, my fellow gang members were talkin' 'bout Kingdom Hearts, an' how stupid it was. Makin' jokes an' stuff. When Quinn heard us, she ran over. She pulled me aside and told me 'bout your 'lil team. Naturally, threatened her and stalked off. I won't go into details, 'cause ya already heard it, Quinn.

Quinn kept on asking. Once, I picked her up by the collar and tossed her at some girl. She an' the other girl, some weirdo with purple hair and gold eyes, threw wood chips an' stones at me. A few days ago, she ran back up ta me an' begged me ta help. I beat her up. That's when you two, Baecker and Quinn Jr. came in an' tried ta clobber me wit' a stick.

Then, there was the mall…y'all know that part. If ya don't, yer stupid, 'cause it happened, like, an hour ago. So, here I am.

END FLASHBACK

… … …

"You were really about to shoot Haiiro?" Emma exclaimed. "I can't believe it!"

Robin crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever. The conscience that I dun believe I got stopped me, right? Deal wit' it."

Jake clamped onto Robin's arm. "We'll be your consciences, Robin!"

She flung him off. "I can do perfectly fine without one, Quinn Jr.!"

Dia reared back her arm. "Cut it out, Fuudo, or you'll be answering to my FIST!"

Sora leaned over to Bernie. "This might be a cool catfight. Hey, where's the campsite?"

Dia looked around. "That's weird…it should be right here! Fuudo, your stupid flashback got us lost!"

"Ya made me tell it!"

"Your fighting irritates me," a voice announced. "I suggest you stop."

Emma looked around. "Who said that?"

"I did." A woman who looked to be in her early twenties dropped down from the trees. She wore face paint resembling whiskers and a red leather dress.

Coeur leapt onto the woman's shoulder. "Myew!"

The woman smiled at her. "It's good to see you too, Hart."

Bernie walked over to her. "Heart? No, her name's Coeur. Wrong language."

She looked confused. "H-A-R-T, not H-E-A-R-T…who's Coeur?" She lightly poked the genet. "You mean Hart?"

Everyone stepped forward. "Who are you? And how do you know Coeur? Er, Hart! Whoever she is!" Bernie asked.

The woman smiled. "My name is Miaow, and I am Hart's Nobody."

Bernie's jaw dropped, as did those of her teammates. "You can't be her Nobody! She's…she's a genet! And you're a human! Are you saying that Coeur lost her heart…and…she's a human?"

… … … … … … … … …

Miaow: Well, you guys know who I am now!

Daxter: How could someone so hot be an alternate version of a muddy cat-thing like Coeur?

FG, Dia, Miaow, and Coeur: (glare)

Dia: Didn't we bury you in Dead Town?

FG: Then cover you in sludge?

Dia: Then have a bunch of Metal Heads stomp on your makeshift grave?

FG: Then burn all your Playboy magazines?

Daxter: Yep, I'm gonna miss those…uh, I mean…yay, they're burnt! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go buy some replacements. I mean…um…seeya! (runs off)

FG: Girls, get him. I have to stay and close this chapter.

Coeur: Myew!

Miaow: I'll carry you, Hart. (picks up Coeur and runs off, followed by Dia)

Kairi: I don't have anything better to do, so I'll go too. (runs off)

Emma: Same here. (runs off)

Robin: I just like beatin' people up. (runs off)

FG: Wait, come back! I'm surrounded by boys! HELP!

Sora: I thought girls liked being surrounded by boys.

FG: You guys are all old. I'm eleven.

Donald: Yeah, we're really…HEY, WHO'RE YOU CALLING OLD?

Emma, Dia, Kairi, Robin, Bernie, Miaow, Coeur: (come back)

Dia: Hope we're not late.

FG: Um…you left a few seconds ago.

Miaow: Ottsels don't run very fast.

Robin: And the moron fainted on the ground.

FG: Did you beat him up yet?

Daxter: BEAT ME UP?

FG: Guess not. Well, stay tuned for the next chapter, and the next Ultra-Author's Note! I'd say more, but I have to beat up a rodent.

Daxter: Ottsel!

FG: Ottsel, rodent, whatever. FG out, yo. (beats Daxter up)